What are we going to learn today
on this beginner's guide to cookery?
Why did I pick this darn course
can't even make tomato sauce.
I smell some burning to my right,
I hope my cake is doing alright.
I'll check it now, oh that's just great,
something bad has happened to my cake.

Where did I go wrong
my cake's collapsed
that damn exam, I will never pass
and I am just a fraud, a big fat fake,
don't even know how to bake a cake.

I don't know what I did wrong.
I didn't leave it in too long.
Plenty of flour, butter and eggs
just like they do in Greggs.
Better check the cookbook once again,
eggs, milk, flour and then
bake on Gas Mark 7,
bake on Gas Mark 7.

Where did I go wrong
my cake's collapsed
that damn exam, I will never pass
and I am just a fraud, a big fat fake,
don't even know how to bake a cake.

Make sure to use self-raising flour
and leave it in the oven for one whole hour,
after this, let it cool
down for about ten minutes.
That was the recipe
I followed it exactly.
But I can see the cakes are different,
And I'm starting to wonder what happened.

Where did I go wrong
my cake's collapsed
that damn exam, I will never pass
and I am just a fraud, a big fat fake,
don't even know how to bake a cake.

How did this happen
followed the book
I must be a terrible cook.
Really what is the point, for goodness' sake
don't even know how to bake a cake.

How to bake a cake

How to bake a cake

I know what went wrong,
the eggs were bad.
I'm not the worst they have ever had
and I could pass this course, might get an 'A',
now I know how to bake a cake.
Now I can cook so many things;
cheeseburger, steak, fries and onion rings,
and strawberry ice-cream with a flake
now I know how to bake a cake.

How to bake a cake.