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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Buy A New Bra"

Original Song Title:

"Soak Up The Sun"

Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"I Wanna Buy A New Bra"

Parody Written by:

David Pratter

The Lyrics

After listening to the recording of "I Wanna Blow Up Saddam", this one came to mind, so I thought I'd write it and submit it. I hope that you young adolescent teenage girls and young women don't find this one too offensive! After all, someone did submit a parody of "Wonderwall" by Oasis called Wonderbra, and that's what inspired this one as well.
My boobs are getting big
Guys stare right at my cleavage
My tits can really sag
I need a double D cup

My nipples get so hard
Whatever times I get cold
It just really hurts my back
I don't wanna get breast cancer

I wanna buy a new bra
I want a strong one that holds by boobs up straight
I'm gonna tell mom that
I need to go the mall
I'm not girl anymore - I'm growing up!
I wanna buy a new bra
I gotta have a new bra

I've got a crooked spine
It really hurts when walking
To keep my back up straight
I need a double d bra

Everytime I walk around, my boobs just jiggle, bounce up and down, that's a pain, it really hurts, I need a bra under my shirt, take me to the mall right now, so I can buy a brand new bra

I have to buy a new bra
I gotta have it hold my boobs up straight
I gotta tell mom that
I've got no one to blame
I'm not a girl anymore - I'm growing up!

I must buy a new bra
I'm gonna go to the mall to buy one now
I'm gonna tell mom that
I've got no one to blame
I'm not a girl anymore - I'm growing up!

I just bought a new bra
It feels so nice - now my boobs don't shake all around!
Don't hesitate to leave comments and tell me how funny you think this is. If any women out there don't think it's funny, go ahead and say so, I want honest opinions!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 1.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   0

User Comments

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Claude Prez - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Pretty good but more rhyming would help.
Paul Robinson - January 23, 2004 - Report this comment
David, I checked this one out, too. I'm not really knocked over by this one either, but that doesn't mean it's bad. This particular humor is not really my "cup" of tea. Must agree with Claude on rhyming, this song really is tough to follow without rhymes in the right places. There are a lot of songs that work ok without a stringent rhyme set, but I wouldn't say "Soak Up The Sun" is one of them. Now it MIGHT work IF the word ending sound about the same even if they don't actually rhyme. Possibly....but you'd have to try it and see what you come up with. Another suggestion: You'd find a word to end your first line with that says what you want to say and see what else rhymes or syncs ok with it. For example, you might have ended line#1 with "really huge" and then hooked up either straight rhymes or some words like "nude, lewd, viewed, rude, dude, stewed". Again, you would have to try it out and see if it really worked or not Final thought here - if the original rhymes you wanna at least be in the ballpark on word endings. I'll take a look at your "Author" list and see if I know the originals on your other works. Keep writing....
David Pratter - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I know in the seven years I've had this parody up, there were no recent comments, the last one was more than six years ago! However, I recently learned that "Victoria" has even more "secrets" than I ever would have imagined. I was watching Jeopardy yesterday and saw during the commercial break (and all the audience in the room with me ironically were men - LOL!) that there is a new trapezoid shaped piece of undergarment cloth called the "Cami Secret". This is why "Victoria" has more feminine undergarment and lingerie "secrets" about what women wear under their clothing than men could ever imagine! The "Cami Secret" is supposed to be a cheap replacement for a "camisole". (And it's supposed to be more comfortable too!) It just clips to the bra straps. I didn't even know what a "camisole" was and why women wear them, now the ad exposes the feminine truth men aren't supposed to know! When women wear low-cut shirts and vests, they often wear a camisole underneath so men don't stare at their cleavage! The Cami Secret is supposed to provide a more comfortable and cheap alternative. FYI, why I even wrote this parody seven years ago was just out of boredom when I was lying by my television and there was nothing better on to watch. I just chose to watch an episode of Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel (and NO - I'm NOT a fan of those teenage shows at all!); and I saw it was the episode where Lizzie asked her mother to take her out to buy her first bra. Lizzie got embarrassed in it and was nervous about picking and choosing when at the mall.

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