Driving through town just my friends and me
Lookin’ for a meal in my Scion B
Knowing that I couldn't drive away
Till the traffic was gone
Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my gas and mumbled under my breath
My car went a flying and behind me, there was a crash
Well then my four other friends said the four letter word
That started with "F" ‘cause they were concerned
So they said “man, now where did you learn to drive like that?”

[Chorus one]

I said “I drank Mountain Dew, I’m feelin mean
I'm a-tweakin’ now, high on caffeine
I’m driving fast, with all the speed that I can
I got twitches from my hunger pains
If I don’t eat quick, I’ll go insane
I want to go…get myself some food!
Drinkin’ Mountain Dew

We got to the place and the jumped out the car
I turned my head and I braked real hard
Said “man, you really are a stupid ass!”
Then inside the restaurant later that day
In came a state trooper headed my way
He said “can I ask you a couple of questions, please?
You see, a bit down the road over there, ‘round the bend
A Scion B made somebody hit my rear end.”
And he said, “Friend, now where’d you learn to drive like that?”

[Chorus two]

I said “I drank Mountain Dew, I’m feelin mean
I'm a-tweakin’ now, high on caffeine
I’m driving fast, with all the speed that I can
I like racin’ cars and burger stands
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we man?
I had to come, and get myself some food
Drinkin’ Mountain Dew

[Bridge]

Well, he took both my hands and snapped them in the cuffs
Said, “I’m takin’ you and lockin’ you up!”
He said “but when you’re gone, I know what I will do…”

[Chorus three]

I’m gonna drink Mountain Dew, and get real mean
Then I’ll drive my car, high on caffeine
I’ll drive real fast, with all the speed that I can
By then I'll be feelin’ super-bad
I’m-a flash my lights and kick some ass
So I can do everything you do
I’ll drink Mountain Dew.”