Come, Mr. eBay, bid on my laundry,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
I’m a man in Seattle selling some old junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
Come, Mr. eBay, look at this toupee,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
There’s some guy in Miami who might want all this junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?

You could place a bid or Buy It Now,
I have as many auctions as the site will allow,
You could buy my car or original Van Gogh,
Or a rare, autographed Tom Servo,
So come, thumb, spend some, take your money on the run,
The auction is almost done,
The highest bidder just won,
I’m rolling in the hundreds and the ones,
From all the stuff I found down in the dump,
If you’ve got some moolah, say yeah,
Hit up the auction sayin’ yeah, yeah,
I’m ready for ya,
Come, let me show ya,
All of the crap I be sellin’ from my pad,

Come, Mr. eBay, bid on my sundry,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
I’m a man in Seattle selling some old junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
Come, Mr. eBay, I’ve got sock monkeys,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
There’s some guy in Wisconsin who might want all this junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?

Hey mister!
Please, Mr. eBay,
If you’ve got the money,
Buy up all my stuff,
Hey mister!
Please, Mr. eBay,
If you’ve got the money,
Buy up all my stuff,

It goes two for me and one for you,
I have a sweaty, old hat signed by Blink 182,
I’ll sell you my speakers, I’ll sell you my sneakers,
If you have money, I’ll sell all of me,
Fun, one, not done, everybody please come,
Leave a comment, just one,
Won’t leave ‘till I have millions,
I’ll sell you my rusty BB gun,
I swear this PSP game will be fun,
If you want to bid, say yeah,
Just follow your id, sayin’ yeah yeah,
I’m ready for ya,
Come, let me show ya,
The Virgin Mary’s face on this week old torta,

Come, Mr. eBay, bid on my TV,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
I’m a man in Seattle selling some old junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
Come, Mr. eBay, I’ve got old CDs,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
There’s some guy in UAE who might want all this junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?

Hey mister!
Please, Mr. eBay,
If you’ve got the money,
Buy up all my stuff,
Hey mister!
Please, Mr. eBay,
If you’ve got the money,
Buy up all my stuff,

Ok, everybody buy my old family tree,
That I made in seventh grade history,
Everybody buy this skeleton key,
I found in the trash by my work building,
Everybody buy this HDTV,
I stole from the local Circuit City,
Everybody buy this Nintendo Wii,
I had to import from another country,

Come, Mr. eBay, bid on my LP,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
I’m a man in Seattle selling some old junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
Come, Mr. eBay, I’ve got Christmas trees,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?
There’s some guy in Alaska who might want all this junk,
Come, Mr. eBay, won’t you buy up all my stuff?