Song Parodies -> Hittin' on EmiLoca
| Original Song Title: | "Livin' Da Vida Loca" |
| Original Performer: | Ricky Martin |
| Parody Song Title: | "Hittin' on EmiLoca" |
| Parody Written by: | Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) |
Oh gawd I'm gunna regret this one but the chorus just sprung into my head whilst I
was reading one of her parodies. This song's about the failed attempt to hook
up with a fellow parody artist who lives on the other side of the world.
Forgive me EmiLoca! ;)
was reading one of her parodies. This song's about the failed attempt to hook
up with a fellow parody artist who lives on the other side of the world.
Forgive me EmiLoca! ;)
She rips off 'Intuition'.
Soundtracks ridiculed, LOL!
A meal was 'Malnutrition'.
Hair curls was Aladdin's goal.
Boo-hoo, English she's failing.
'Socks Stink' and 'American Wife'.
Vertigo from 'High Treason'.
Oh, Emi, You'reAllRight.
She'll paint the Rolling Stones black,
Gollum's panting vents his pain.
She makes me giggle crazy-like,
With her quaint old 'Paint' refrain.
Lightly pulls it from her brain.
Love bites AmiRight,
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Makes luscious lampoon sounds.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
She quips with level head,
Such a winning-dollar joker.
Me: asking her out.
Hittin' EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Cracked up from her 'Don't Kiss Me'.
Just joking, I do hope... well?
She took my heart with her cute parodies.
I love her wit, wish to see this gal.
The clever minx caused laughter at that 'Nrd' Avril Lavigne.
Now to try to date her, hope she doesn't think I'm lame.
For Pete's sake, I'm so inane.
Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Let's paint bright red this town.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Her shirt's made of white thread,
Wish I had a super-soaker.
I'm nervous with doubt.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
She hated Iraq's clothes off,
Bush's rancid shamed campaign.
She can't walk to me with a hike,
So I paid to take a plane.
Quite the Casanova, eh?
Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Miss Flight, attend now.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
What's this? Too far to tread?
QANTAS angry white boy polka!
Australia's failure,
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
Now I'm quittin' on EmiLoca.
Soundtracks ridiculed, LOL!
A meal was 'Malnutrition'.
Hair curls was Aladdin's goal.
Boo-hoo, English she's failing.
'Socks Stink' and 'American Wife'.
Vertigo from 'High Treason'.
Oh, Emi, You'reAllRight.
She'll paint the Rolling Stones black,
Gollum's panting vents his pain.
She makes me giggle crazy-like,
With her quaint old 'Paint' refrain.
Lightly pulls it from her brain.
Love bites AmiRight,
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Makes luscious lampoon sounds.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
She quips with level head,
Such a winning-dollar joker.
Me: asking her out.
Hittin' EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Cracked up from her 'Don't Kiss Me'.
Just joking, I do hope... well?
She took my heart with her cute parodies.
I love her wit, wish to see this gal.
The clever minx caused laughter at that 'Nrd' Avril Lavigne.
Now to try to date her, hope she doesn't think I'm lame.
For Pete's sake, I'm so inane.
Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Let's paint bright red this town.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Her shirt's made of white thread,
Wish I had a super-soaker.
I'm nervous with doubt.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
She hated Iraq's clothes off,
Bush's rancid shamed campaign.
She can't walk to me with a hike,
So I paid to take a plane.
Quite the Casanova, eh?
Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Miss Flight, attend now.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
What's this? Too far to tread?
QANTAS angry white boy polka!
Australia's failure,
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
Now I'm quittin' on EmiLoca.
Oh, the shame...
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User Comments Follow...
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I muchly prefer these lyrics to the original. ;) You've left me speechless, which is quite an accomplishment. And flattered. And giggling in hysteria. Pure genius, deserves nothing less than all 5's...although my opinion may be a bit biased, due to the fact that I'm the subject matter. This deserves some serious reciprocation on my part. Until I can find a word that rhymes with "Ralphing", will you marry me?
YES! YES!!! Oh my , this diamond ring is just divine! We shall elope in a golden carriage led by gleaming stallions and live in the land of words-that-don't-have-other-words-that- rhyme-with-them! *sloppy cyber smooch*
Gleaming stallions? Gleaming with what? Natural sheen? Mouth fluid from the sloppy cyber smooch? I think we'd better just rent a limo, stuff the chauffer in the trunk and drive off into OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland. (Those were the first 5 that came to mind.)
I like to watch.
The Italian stallions are gleamin' with se... err, something. Luckily they fit into the boot with the chauffer (Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber). Chauncey Gardener, you may come and watch our romantic wedding procession lead by the Door-hinge/Burp-pull/Still-fur/Huntth('hunts' with a lisp)/Gal-thing children from OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland. No watching from the hotel onwards. EmiLoca, what colour-that-has-no-other-words-that-rhyme-with-it would you like the wedding dress to be? Purple, Orange, Aquamarine or Turquoise? You can pick out my groom apparel, whatever style you want!
The boot! And...colour!!! I love it! See why I proposed to this guy? Yes - all who decide to post a comment here are hereby invited to our wedding. It wouldn't be proper for me to wear white (not after last night), so I believe that a pale Aquamarine would suffice. Your groom apparel shall be a gaudy Turquoise sequined jumpsuit, and your shoes shall be made from gleaming stallionhide. How about a reception?
*sniff* I always get emotional at weddings! :-)
Very nice... just saw your message about this parody on my "Internet Stranger" and thought I'd check it out. By the way Emiloca, on the subject of "OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland", to paraphrase I forget which one of the Wayside School books, "Oh no, the baby's purple! What'll fix it? Bet a burp'll!" ;-) Oh, 5s.
time for the best friend to step in! heh i love this song but everyone loves her why not me for once!
I remember that book! And then nothing rhymed with "pink"...good times, good times. *glares at Mikaela* You, of all people, should know the meaning of MINE.
Yup. Like, "My mind's on the blink. I can't write poems. I stink!" So yes. Basically, that series was awesome.
Chauncey Gardner, neminem, Mikaela and Your Worst Nightmare are cordially invited (BYO cordial) to the wedding of Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) and EmiLoca to be held once I've finished all my High School Certificate work. The venue will be the point exactly between New South Wales Australia and Tennessee USA. If this turns out to be somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, so be it. Well, I'm off to get my gaudy Turquoise sequinned jumpsuit tailor made whilst my rural jackaroo associates get those gleaming stallions for my boots.
Mikaela is cordially uninvited to the wedding of Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) and EmiLoca, due to the fact that she is a lousy prat. (You see, now the chances of her showing up at the wedding have doubled!) Just an F.Y.I. - I don't live in Tennessee. :) Actually, I'm up the river and a couple states to the left. Perhaps we could have the wedding on a Pacific cruise! How blissfully typical!
Ooh, I'm sensing some conflict here with Mikaela. Wait a minute, that name sounds familiar... didn't we hook up in a chat room last spring break?
Knowing her, you probably did. She has a thing for chat-room hookings.
Also, Jake, I apologize for smacking you in the face a couple of days ago. Just be sure not to schedule the wedding when your reaction should come. "Do you, Jake A Ral--" "OWWWW!!!"
Apology acc-OWWW!!! ......There we go, the wedding is good to go! (Oh, and Mikaela, DON'T tell EmiLoca about our illegitemate triplets.)
Too late for that, you scumbag. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America - I guess the rest cheat online. You know, I thought you'd be my ideal for marriage, not my ordeal. The wedding is hereby postponed, and I hope these tributary drops flooding my eyes are the travel agents for a damn long guilt trip. *sobs uncontrollably*
I guess this means no wedding... Will there still be cake?
Wow. I think this is the only parody I've seen where the comments field is being used as a place for a running joke between the author and the subject of the parody. I'm quite amused.
Oh, well I'm glad our Jerry-Springer-esque situation is amusing you all! Sorry for the confusion, EmiLoca, those illegitemate triplets were the result of Mikaela and I getting high from keyboard fumes and surfing the web together in a night of passion. I ended up with a tattoo on my desktop and she has three of those little baby things forever crawling around HER desktop. Remember, I'm not an American man, so will only cheat on you with myself, which is technically just taking a chore off your hands. (Ooh I love the wording of that one) As for Your Worst Nightmare. LET HIM EAT CAKE!!! (Withdrawing Marie Antoinette's guillotine) Tell me when you're ready to have the wedding, dear...
Thanks, I'm starving! Wait... Jake... Why are you looking at me that way, Jake? Put down that sharp object, Jake!!
I'll tell you why I've got this sharp object!!! *SLICE* My name is LUKE you dickhead! *DICE* Don't you get how Jake A Ralphing is a parody of J K Rowling?!!! *GASH* Die you beeatch!!! *SLASH* ...oh, hi EmiLoca. Do you like the new kitchen set we got as a wedding gift? I'll go wash them now...
I know your name is Luke, and Jake A Ralphing is a parody of JK Rowling, but I kinda like Jake better. Plus it gets on your nerves. :-)
neminem: What joke? I believe that a typically callow cyber-romance is nothing to laugh at. Our feelings are completely serious. (Luke, stop laughing. No, I'm serious. Stop that. NOW. Not only are you putting our love to mockery, but do you know how eekish that looks with that bloody knife you're holding?) On a lighter note, I completely forgot about the cake aspect of the wedding. At this point, I don't care about the holy matrimony bit - I'm hungry. The wedding is on, and Your Worst Nightmare may have as much cake as he wishes, so long as he shares.
5 minutes later...My humblest apologies for referring to Your Worst Nightmare as "he", if he is a she. But if he is a he, then I do not apologize, because calling him he would not be terribly offensive. If he or she is still deciding as to whether he or she is a she or he, I also do not apologize, for perhaps I aided he or she in their confusion.
OK Emi, my love, YOU put down the knife now....
EmiLoca, I am a "he". What, you couldn't tell!? lol
The "I always get emotional at weddings" confused me. But thank you for clearing that up. I don't know, dear...I'm rather attached to this knife. Why don't you take this considerably smaller one for security?
Just for fun, I'm going to take a knife too, and run around like a maniac. WOOHOO!!!! WATCH OUT, EVERYBODY!!!
*sniff*.............*sniff*......... this is gonna be so.....happy........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! $:'0){=<
*hands T.J. Spindler a tissue and a knife* You'll need this.
Hey, make way, T.J.!!! HERE I COME!!!! *runs like a maniac with his disappointly shiny knife* This is so fun!
Okay so, i am like EmiLoca's best friend, and i better be the maid of honor! okay so i am moving and i must be invited so i have a reason to come back! and i am want a piece of that cake so i can keep it frozen and when ever i see it i will think...EMI! and maybe Luke....You guys will have a wonderful life together. *Sniff* *Sniff* happy endings make me cry a little. Okay so let me get this straight... Mikaela is not invited to the wedding right? She is my neighbor and i have to put up with her, and i couldn't stand her being included into one of the happiest days of my life (of course Emi's probably happier than me). Emi, i love you.... and you deserve him...*SNIFFLE* and the choice of wedding dress color is fabulous!
You would've thought that after so long of running around like a maniac with a disappointingly shiny knife would've---*SLICE* Oops!
Nice one Lorena Bobbitt!!! Can someone help me glue this back on, we're gunn need it for the wedding night!
I'm so sorry! *glances at a hot dog at a refreshments stand* Will this do?
*looks disdainfully at hot dog* Isn't that a little big for you?
It'll have to do, though it will mean less protein from your diet. (Someone just shoot me)
*considers* I wonder if a marriage license is less expensive than a firearms license.
LUKE WILL YOU MARRY ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? not emiloca, because she's a nobody. She doesn't even exist. It's really me!!!!! I swear, why would I lie about a stupid thing like that? I LOVE LUKE...um.....how do you spell your last name? Wait, who are you again??
... ... ... ... ... ... The Internet: the only place where you can get proposed to by two different women within two weeks. I'll have to talk with my current fiancee if I can marry you, Tibbygirl, but I'm assuming it will be fine.
How DARE you, Tibbygirl, barge into someone's wedding and insult the bride!! No, wait, looks like Luke doesn't mind, so oh well.
*narrows eyes* Tibbygirl, I've heard imitation is the best form of flattery. Now I know the fine line between flattery and mindless rage. I'ma smack you down, bitch!!!
You mean 'biotch'. I'll just fill a pool with jello, conceal a few camcorders and watch the show.
Lime Jello. Mmmm. Actually, after some peaceful negotiations with Tibbygirl, we've reached an agreement that if I let her out of the Iron Maiden once a month, she'll leave my wedding alone. Sorry to ruin your fun.
Dammit, I was gunna store my donuts in that Iron Maiden. Oh well, it would be kind of embarrassing losing TWO rings on the big day...
I have an idea. Chain Tibbygirl's legs to an anvil, throw her somewhere deep, wet and bottomless, and we can share the Iron Maiden, as it could serve as both a jewelry "case" and donut storage. That way, you won't lose your ring (a-hem, singular).
EmiLoca is not nobody. *I'm* the nobody here :-D.
Somewhere deep, wet and bottomless? Well, that rules out neminem's bottom. AND loses any credibility for a lame 'ring' joke.
Oh my goodness
CAN I BE THE BEST MAN!? This thought just happened to pass my mind. PLEEEEEEASE???
Should Luke deny your request, the orange bridesmaid dresses are really quite stunning. I'd gladly grant you maid of honor.
I'm...not exactly the Colonel Klinger kind of guy, so I'll have to decline. Thanks for your offer, though.
If I go to the wedding, I promise to keep Jake in line by punching him whenever he crosses it with bad jokes :-)... unfortunately he's not currently in the vicinity (because he's preparing to be conjugally matrimonified... ahh, G&S... <3 <3 <3 ), so it'll have to wait... *hits voodoo doll with a bit of jake's hair on* *hears OWWW in the distance* *sigh of relief* sorry, EmiLoca, I do promise not to bruise your husband-to-be too much :-)
aw luke. you get me every time. girls, stick at it.. this one's worth the wait, or the travelling distance.. either way. congrats emiloca. ps. do i get cake?
yes i do have chat room hookup issues heh. emi aint' lying about that but i'm more into the mud (seriusly computer geek thing) hook ups that normal chatrooms. and you can't uninvite me to the wedding! sniff i feel like i don't ahve friends any more.
You know you're going to come anyway.
Ah, howdy Eden! So glad you FINALLY VISITED MY WORK!!! You can't have the cake and eat it too. Your Worst Nightmare, there are two things that stop you being Best Man. Generally the criteria of this role insinuate that you are the 'best' candidate and the other... well, let's just say that orange really suits your eyes.
Is there an award for "Most Commented-On Parody"? If this keeps up, I think we should split the trophy into equal pieces. I get the head!
The sad thing is there are only 8 votes compared to sixty comments.
Don't I get a say in what's going to happen to me? OK emily, since we are such GREAT buddies, I'll settle on being a part of the wedding party. I guess I'll just have to find a cyber-fiancee somewhere else on this website....*sniff*. Ah well.....life will go on. And as for chains and Iron Maidens and donuts, let's not have me do that. You never know...you might just be at that altar, and somebody will somehow change your pretty diamond rings for MAPLE GLAZED DONUTS!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Yum. And did I see an "emily" up there? *gasps and faints*
Emily....huh...is that your name? I just assumed....wow i have had one too many mountain dews. Hey luke....at your wedding, make sure you keep those cans of Dew way in the back back back....like in the Iron Maiden. Once I've had one, you can't stop me......
Luke, is it just me or are you telling me you don't want me to be your Best Man??? Just remember, I'm the only candidate running! ;-)
At the moment the Iron Maiden appears to be the best candidate, actually. Not only can it puncture Tibbygirl, house numerous donuts and keep Mountain Dew cool, it won't be able to tie me up to a streetlamp naked following the paraplegic strippers and alcoholic milkshake party! By the way, Emilia (I'm also just assuming, your name is so obviously Rumpelstitlskin) my mailbox has remained spam-free. Did you plug the right address in when sending premature belated birthday wishes?
After pondering over and over, I can't make sense of your "eyes" comment. Some things just go over my head. The best I can determine is that you were saying I would most likely end up in jail, with the orange jumpsuit. If that is the case, then you should have no worry, because, as far as to my understanding, I have not done anything illegal. Well, there WAS the knife incident...
Hey Tibbygirl i will rescue you from that Iron Maiden(if they put in it) and i get to be the maid of honor for "emily"s wedding cuz i totally called it. and remember i am so a better friend than "emily" to you any way. i swear this the weirdest convo i have ever read. and if you are planning on changing the ring, change it to a krispy kream donut that is glazed and chocolate all at the same time. then it would be like a double threat! now thats evil! muwahahahaha....you should give Tibbygirl a lot of Mt.Dew cuz that way you could have free entertainment! theres nothing better than when you can get something free! and it seems like everyone is getting cake, i hope you save some for me, adn get the kind that have swirls of vanilla and chocolate in it so it makes everyone happy!
"Nooooo! For the love of God, NOOOOOOOO! I have to stop this wedding that I wasn't invited to, or at least steal the cake! If you need a preacher man, Father Edmund has no life or schedule. Let me know when the wedding is, and I'll burst in all dramatic at the last moment and yell, "NOOOOO! I object!" Then just quietly run off with the chips, several bottles of scotch, and some silverware. Ta-ta."- Apricot, Wedding Crasher/Dramatic Objection Maker, SI-MAE
EmiLoca's comment a bit further up describes our orange bridesmaids' dresses. The offer is on the table...
Well, you know, I have no objection whatsoever to orange bridesmaids dresses, and since the maid of honor is, in fact, a better friend than Emiloca :) I am most definitely assuming that I will be a crucial part of the wedding party. I also have no objection to being the free entertainment, although I do request to be paid in bottles of Mountain Dew. As for Your Worst Nightmare, trust me, when they say the dresses are stunning....well there is only truth in that statement. The gaudy jewels in random places...the miles of billowing ruffles....*wipes away a tear* I'm just so happy!!!!!
Umm....yeah....I think I'll pass....no offense.
Fine...then you'll just sit in the audience with all the other losers....or, if you want, you could join me in the Iron Maiden!!!! :)
I think I'll take the pew.
Smart choice.
Yup. Orange isn't my color.
You think they'll let me be in the wedding party? Or you as the best man? I think for my entertainment hour I shall be singing EmiLoca's "Your Socks Stink" as the first dance....and maybe as the next song, and the next, and the next......a whole night of beautiful vocal performances about the putrid smell of socks!!! *sigh* It'll be the best wedding ever.
And I'll sing Jake A Ralphing's "I Know A Song That'll Get Me No Fives", which I gave fives.
As did many people, just to spite him... except not. ;-)
Yes, I LIKE spiting people!! lol
And I thought I was weird.........
Don't worry, you can still be weird, but never nearly as weird as I am. Bow to My Weirdness.
Ooo-oooh! I think Tibbygirl and YWK are getting well acquainted here! Maybe we should leave them alone in a comment area for some privacy. *New catchphrase for random people pashing in the street- 'Get an iron maiden!'*
Yeah, um, not that acquainted, if THAT'S what you mean...
Pashing! Never heard that...terminology before, but isn't foreign language fun? As for YWK y Tibby, homegirl WAS complaining about her lack of "online action". She even wrote about it in my yearbook, which I'm sure she's regretting right about now.
Yes, foreign terminology is always a hoot. I believe your 'Mickey D's' is our 'Maccas' and you use 'burn' in the same way we say 'get cut'. And YWK, stop denying your steaming lust for Tibbygirl.
My favorite will always be 'the boot'. Always. And then the funny way you spell words such as 'criticize' and 'catalog' and 'nucular'. In other news, I think that Tibbygirl and YWK would be feverishly cute together.
STOP TRYING TO SET ME UP! *pulls out a highpowered machine gun and points it toward Luke and Emi* Haha! Hahaha! I LIKE CHEEEEEEEESE!!!! Look! The men in the white coats are here again!...
YEAH, STOP TRYING TO SET YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE UP! SET APRICOT UP! HE'S ALONE, HE HAS LOW STANDARDS! AND WHEN APRICOT IS ALONE, HE TURNS TO HIS OLD FRIEND SCOTCH! DON'T LET HIM TURN BACK TO SCOTCH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T! NOOOO! HE MUST HAVE SCOTCH NOW! AND WHILE HE'S AT IT, HE'S TAKING A FEW OF THOSE MOUNTAIN DEWS FOR THE CREATION OF MIXED DRINKS! AND THEY'RE ALL HIS! HIS, DO YOU HEAR?! NO MOUNTAIN SCOTCH FOR ANYONE EXCEPT APRICOT! {EXCEPT MAYBE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD USE A GOOD DRINK OR TWO.} HEY, APRICOT LIKES CHEESE TOO!
Hey, let me in on some scotch.
UP YOURS, ICY! MY SCOTCH! MIIIIIIIIIIINE! *sobs and takes several swigs of scotch* GOD, I'M SO ALONE! *continues to drink scotch. Other people on board try to comfort him and take his scotch, but he breaks just emptied bottle and swings it menacingly* STAY AWAYY! STAY AWAYYYY!
Um...........yeah It really wasn't as funny to me, but it was nicely done, but I really don't wanna be a jack@$$, but I gave you all fours. Good job anyways
S.T.G., you obviously are not in on the action. Comments for "Hittin' on EmiLoca" were due some weeks ago. Now we are all preparing for the wedding, and Luke and Emi are trying to hook me up!! THE NERVE!!!
I do not recall this "comment" that I supposedly made in your yearbook, EmiLoca. I am not looking for "online action" at the present time, I'm sorry. As for YWK, um......no. No lust, no lust at all. Nix on the lust. And, Apricot, I am fairly certain that I said the Mountain Dews were MINE, thank you very much. There, I think I covered everything. *gets up and walks away, with a triumphant smile on her face*
See? Both components are unwilling. So there, I told you guys we were meant to be. I guess this means I can put my high powered machine gun back inside of my tuxedo.
*grammatical correction* "weren't meant to be", not "were meant to be".
emiloca i didn't see a certain "danny" on my flight, so you have to totally hook me up with someone so i don't feel so bad....thanx your such a pal!
Well, KaviR, there's a certain scotch-swillin' gentleman I'm sure you would like to get acquainted with... that failing, I'm sure Tibbygirl will be more than eager... And WHAT DID YOU SAY WHILST POINTING A GUN AT MY CROTCH?!! For your information, YWK, 'I like cheese!' is a line I use about twon hundred times (no joke) throughout my Hairy Potted trilogy (250,000 words and counting) by the random characters Kevin, a complete Timmy rip-off in a wheelchair; Gavin, a scuba diver; and Evan, a midget Impa-Limpa who works at Gangrene's pawnbrokers. So I will be saying all cheese-related comments from here on in, THANK YOU VEDDY MUCH!
Um, Luke, I think you are violating the Second Amendment....or was it the Third....I'm so drunk....
Fine then, I'll go get my own Mountain Dew. I'm driving! *whips out keys and drops them in drunken state. Picks them back up and gets in van. Swerves to miss adorable kitty and hits old people out for stroll.* Whoops. Anyone got something to dispose of some incriminating evidence in?
Apricot, Apricot, Apricot, how many times have we told you NOT to hit elderly pedestrians in the street? Here, you can have this garbage bag that miraculously appeared out of thin air.
Thank you, Your Worst Nightmare. *stuffs old people into bag. Sneaks into Tibbygirl's place of residence and places bag along with some other bags full of children, hippies, and other people he's hit with his van in closet.* Not share Mountain Dew with me, will she? This'll teach her! *sneaks out using ninja-like reflexes*
i want to know where tibbygirl found the hippies...would you share MT.DEW with me tibbygirl?*thinks of a good way to suck up* i would share with you!
So THAT'S where all those manakins came from!!! I thought I had stolen them from Younkers on one of those many nights where everything that happened is magically erased from my memory....I used those bodies for Halloween costumes!!! The hippie one was a BIG hit....I would also like to say that I am more than willing to share my abundant supply of the Fizzy Greatness (Mountain Dew, of course) with anyone who is nice enough to ask.
Hey Tibby, even though I murdered your immediate family last night, could I have some of your Mountain Dew?
I too, could use some Mountain Dew.... not to share with Apricot, of course. Shazzam! How you like me now, 'Cot?
Fine then. I'd rather be hit with projectile vomit then ask nicely. I'll go get some of my own. *gets back in van. Swerves to miss same adorable kitty cat and hits several goth kids that happen to be out* Oh God! I did it again! Back to the corpse closet!
No, Apricot, if they have the gothic look, you could just leave them out and people will think they've actually been dead for some time.
Aight, you wanna play tough, huh? Well, I've brought in a stenographer! Stenographer, read back 14 comments ago. Stenographer:"And, Apricot, I am fairly certain that I said the Mountain Dews were MINE, thank you very much" shall I continue? Apricot: No, that should be all. Aha! So you wouldn't share, and you said so! We see who the selfish one is now, don't we? Looks like I was right! ME! *softly, to himself* God, I'm so alone. *takes long swig of scotch*
It's good to see we're all getting well-acquainted here. Sorry about Danny, Kavs. Don't worry...dreams DO come true.
I'm still alone. Am I doing something wrong. *takes swig of scotch* Hmm... Must be. *takes another swig of scotch, finishing bottle in two swigs* But what could It be that makes me so.... *downs whole next bottle* unattractive? Any ideas, let me know.
You're male... nobody cares about loner *males* on the internet ;-). By the way, feel free to take some of my whiskey, I need to get rid of it while I'm still at college :-D. No, seriously, I do... I should really consume it in the near future.
Hey, wait, who spiked the Mountain Dew?
thats really nice of you to say Emi...i hope what you say is true, so by any chance can you tell me when the dream comes true? oh yea, and this was just kind of odd but today i saw the indian Tom Cruise, i swear! you can find anything Indian these days.
Ooh, nice. Odd, but nice. Spiked Mountain Dew? I think I'd better...um...test it. *chugs* Nope...*hic*...sssssall good to me...
99.
Yeah, you're right, I'm probably just too jumpy. *drinks some more mountain dew* You know.... When you look at that cardboard box for a while, it looks just like Jim Carrey! HIC!
Not fair! You got the 100th comment here and I didn't...*hic* 100 comments of...um...beer on the wall...
Hurray! Everyone's drunk! Let's go to IHOP! I'm driving! *gets back in van. I think you all know what happens next, except it's a bunch of mimes*AH! You see, this is the product of DUI! All the scum of the earth dies! I think you owe me a thank you.
i always thought that mimes were cool, but i was terribly terribly wrong! and now they are just dead. Hey pass the Mountain Dew i want to see what all the fuss is about...
That's right! All the mimes are dead! ALL OF THEM! And any that ever try to be born again will be strangled at birth! Thus the end of mimery!
wow, good plan......evil......but genius......
Hey...look at all the pretty HIC colors on the wall....weeeeee......it's all swirly and stuff........where am I??? HIC i don't remember this place...erm....HIC...anyway....this is crazy crap!!! Howdy Mr. Purple Duck, when did you show up? What's your name??? HIC no more mountain dew fighting-overs....FREE DEW FOR EVERYONE!!!!!! HIC!!! but wait!! there's....*falls over unconscious*
Yeah! Free Dew! In yo' face, Tibby! AND I got everyone turned on to alcohol, AND KaviR called my plan genious. Maybe in everyone's drunken state, I'll look even more ruggedly handsome to these people! THEN everyone will love me, and I'll find someone, at least until the alcohol gets out of their system! SCORE!
Hold on, wait. Tibby's givinh out the Dew, but I said "in yo face" Uh-oh. I've said it once, I'll say it again: I am so drunk....
Hey, that's MY line! I'm suing you for plaigiarism! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! And I'm takin' all the Mountain Dew! *takes a huge gulp from one of the bottles* Refreshing!
*wakes up at the mention of rugged handsomeness* What? Where??
*files nails*
You know what?!? I sue you ALL for plagiarism!! When I'm through with all of you, you won't have a dime in your pockets!! I'm going to spend it all on more Mountain Dew! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have pockets. *bites my thumb at you, sir*
This comment is mostly for the author of the parody, but GO TO THE MESSAGEBOARD UNDER "ABC's Round H voting" UNDER PARODY CONTESTS. You'll find a nice surprise at number 5.
*returns with a keg of alcohol* OK guys, sorry it's been so long but I was away in... *cuts off as he witnesses passed-out people all through house* Who the hell broke into my scotch cabinet? And where did all that Mountain-Dew-esque vomit come from?! I'll go to the 'H' song contest now.
Then GET some pockets, Emi!!
You're going to need pockets to hide the corpses of the jury that convicts you....
Good news, everyone! On another board, Tibbygirl got mad at me, took my scotch, and yelled at me! So before I knew it, I was told to propose to Mikaela! Now, as soon as I recover from the largest hangover of our era, I'll be engaged! Happily, I presume!
Wait, who woke up at the sound of my rugged handsomeness? Oh no, wait, I'm already set up to be wed. Great, NOW people see me for my charming and pirate-esque appearance! Hmm... I wonder if I should reconsider this marriage thing. I should talk to some married or engaged people. But I need to talk to some who aren't drunk. While on the subject of alcohol, I wonder if anyone figured out that my scotch was like, 15% scotch and 85% moonshine/white lightning. Oh well, this should be an interesting hangover for us all.
Here we go. I just stapled black trash bags to the dogsuit I'm wearing, and that should suffice as corpse-pockets. And holy buckets, Apricot! You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Hopefully, Mikaela will never visit this parody...if she does, you've officially got your first lifetime stalker.
oh, nevermind, it was just Apricot who was mentioning the rugged handsomeness...*sigh* By the way, marrying Mikaela is not such a grand idea after all. You must know that I was under the influence at the time I said that very grotesque statement. *takes a swig of Apricot's scotch* Here you go Apricot. You can have this back now...I'm done with it.
Oh... I guess all that caring... all that concern... it was just drunken ramblings. Oh.... I see.... *slowly reaches for scotch, but pulls back* NO! I vowed off scotch! I don't know, though. Who am I trying to impress anymore? No one cares about my dazzling good looks, or my true loving nature. Oh, screw the world, gimme my scotch! *takes back his scotch, and takes a long swig of it* I could have been such a great husband, too.... or at least been happy until I discovered that this was all a cruel joke. Anyone got a noose, or some rusty blade? Wait, where's that Iron Maiden?
What have you people done to Apricot? He was going to shape up and try to find a nice girl, and you people pulled him back into alcohol! You've broken the heart of what could have been one of the nicest people you'd ever see! Shame!
Screw Apricot! Come get a piece of Icy! I'm rich, handsome, and I have some ice cream, grape soda, and a bag of heroin in my Cadillac Car!{It's one of those old ones}
Screw you, Icy!
I've decided not to kill myself. Instead, I'm going to look for a new girl. Someone who has a name I can pronounce without thinking about it.
I'm sorry Apricot, I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings or cause you to go back to The Bottle. I'm sure Mikaela would be more than happy to marry you, as well. Good luck with that new girl, too. :) See, I'm not a horrible person!!!
I can pronounce your name fine, KaviR.
oOoOoOoOoO Apricot and KaviR sitting in a tree!!!!!! Daniel Radcliffe is history!! First comes love.....then comes marraige....then comes drunk nights full of corpses and Mountain Dew. Hmm.....what a ....erm...."happy" ending. I should just stop now......
*sinister, evil voice*No, no, Tibby. Continue. I was just starting to enjoy it. *leans back in chair*
Hey, Emi, Where is that ABC round H thing?
Maya: Firstly, you gotta get to the messageboard. Then you must register there to be able to access the contest board. You should be able to find it from there. Hope that helps!
Thank you, Emi! I, along with the rest of SI-MAE, are now registered! http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/d1218.shtml I know this is kinda an ad for us, but we need people to see this. We vowed not to write another parody until someone was a definite winner of our bet.
You look ready for some mass killings to me, Emi! Excuse me while I bribe the judge. *flashes a 1 dollar bill smugly at the judge* Hmm.... This is a very rude judge. Luckily, he's a corpse now. *stuffs him into one of EmiLoca's bags*
Then the two of you lovebirds will whisk off to Ireland, where you will both feel very at home with the intoxicated Irish. You will settle down in a nice, comfy cardboard box outside the Shanigan's Pub and Grille, where they have two dollar glasses of scotch every Wednesday night. KaviR will begin to work as an actress and will star in various car commercials and will become the voice of public service announcements in all of Ireland. You will stay in your box all day, caring for the pet raccoon that you took in from the cold, and drink all the Mountain Dew and scotch that you'd ever want. And you will live happily ever after, and every one of us shall come visit you, and maybe bring you a good ol' corpse as a gift.
Did somebody say corpses? *searches the pockets of the goth kids Apricot ran over earlier* Hey! Five dollars and a bag of Skittles! This is my lucky day!
Sounds lovely. I do love raccoons! Does my darling KaviR know yet? I can't wait to see her response!
Your darling KaviR is out of town as of now, but I will make sure she sees this. I'm sure she'll be devastated.
*nervous laugh* Why would she be devastated? We have a loving future together, one most likely stolen from a book I haven't read. I LOVE her, do you hear? I LOVE KaviR!
*sobs* I'm so alone.
Awww, look Emi! This stray Tibbygirl followed me home sobbing pathetically. Can we keep it? She can play with our pet raccoon 'Superfly' and we can train her to attack any wayward alcoholics who stumble our way with Irish scotch in their system. Look at those big dopey Tibbygirl eyes! How can we leave her to wander the back alleys alone? Can we keep her pleeeease?
Good Lord! Crazy Kids... This was a pretty good parody... but jesus. This is like it's own private message board. I give you 5s... and I'm shocked. Good parody though.
Holy buckets..."big dopey Tibbygirl eyes"!!! In case you didn't know (which you didn't), Tibbygirl has unbelievably large eyes that I make fun of on a daily basis. I wonder how she'd look if she actually tried to make them look bigger. She's a definite keeper, but she sleeps in MY room. *distrusts*
Thanks Loosekanen (The Armstrong)! Spread the word so that more estranged characters join our growing wedding reception with cartons of Mountain Dew, Scotch and cadavers! Tibbygirl has huge eyes? Call me telepathetic. And sure she can sleep in your room... *setting up hidden cameras*
(ABCs) Great song, just great. I won't take off points for the fact that I had to scroll for 5 minutes just to get to the comment box ;-)
Where would we be without my scotch and corpses? Wait a minute.... I wasn't good enough for you, Tibbygirl, but EmiLoca and Ralphing were? I see how it is... *Goes to get van. Pulls it into the road, and positions it so that it is facing the house. Backs up, then drives towards the house at full speed, empty bottles of scotch and the corpses of fat people flying out the windows* DIE WORLD! OR, MORE SPECIFICALLY, DIE TIBBY!
*hits wall, but doesn't go through* Whoops. I don't really have the insurance to cover this. Better try again. If everyone would just stay where they are, I'm going to attempt my massacre again. *backs up and drives forward. Gets through this time, but fails to see that he's hit 3 of his bandmates who were standing by the wall. Keeps driving through house, running over random guests blindly, looking for Tibby so that he might finish the job.*
Hey, watch where you're goin', Apricot, you nearly ran over my bag of Skittles! I'm going to put some skittles in my alcohol, er, Mountain Dew, as flavoring.
Sorry Your Worst Nightmare. I'm looking for Tibbygirl, so that I may run her over. Hey, let me in on some of that "Mountain Dew". I tend to murder more people drun... *cough!* I mean, on a caffenine buzz. Heh heh... Yeah.
Sure, here you go! I have an unlimited supply of booze, I mean, soda.
*takes another swig of "special soda"* It's like a freaking carnival! *drives about, continues to kill, looking for the one that did him wrong* A FREAKING CARNIVAL!
I'M SO DRUNK, I MEAN CAFFEINATED!!
IT'S OKAY, THEY KNOW BY NOW! JOIN ME IN MY VAN, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, AND TOGETHER WE MAY KILL THESE PEOPLE, THEN GO GET SOME MORE SKITTLES! THOSE MIMES I KILLED HAD 3 BUCKS ON THEM!
AWESOME!! First, let me shove these corpses on the car floor out of the way. Let's kill everyone, MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Except maybe Emi. She is the prime minister of Mountain Dew/Alcohol.
I love scotch. Scotch, scotch, scotch. Down it goes, down into my belly, scotch, scotch, scotch.
Excellent! Don't mind the smell, that's just crystal meth and Juicy Juice. Now, LET"S FIND TIBBY!
Actually, it smells like spiked Mountain Dew and corpses to me. But oh well. LET'S FIND TIBBY!!! Maybe we can attract her to us with some Skittles. Here, Tibby, Tibby, Tibby....
Oh, I feel so loved! I'm not getting killed, while...others are. Hoorah!
We couldn't run over the prime minister of the holy cola, EmiLoca! Pass the special soda.
Gosh darn it, we're out of special soda! But I have a recipe for something better. We'll need Starburst, sugar, and the blood of 66 small children! Oh yeah, I guess some scotch too.
I think I'm going to permanently leave this comment thread. What happened to our wedding plans? Down the drain with Apricot's Mountain Dew-flavored vomit? I'm terribly heartbroken.
Don't leave! I need you! WE need you! I can stop drinking and killing! I can be serious! DON"T LEAVE! PLEASE! Think of Ralphing, and the gleaming stallions, and... and... OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphing Land! If you leave, I'll just start drinking again. Wait, no. I mean, I won't stop drinking! How about that? If you stay, I'll give up drinking!
Yes, we can switch to normal Mountain Dew, can't we Apricot? No...we can't.... Wait... I've got an idea.... Corpse flavored Mountain Dew.
BTW, I recommend this game to everyone.
http://www.mofunzone.com/online_games/tamaneko.shtml It's called Tamaneko, and you have to throw severed cat heads into buckets. I LIKE severed cat heads!
http://www.mofunzone.com/online_games/tamaneko.shtml It's called Tamaneko, and you have to throw severed cat heads into buckets. I LIKE severed cat heads!
My God, what an idea! It's like the Necro-Beverage of the 21st century!
I agree with EmiLoca. Our wedding is now marred with police helicopters and SWAT teams trying to chase down two loonies in a van firing heat-seeking Mountain Dew cans at cop cars and chasing down Tibbygirl as she flees to OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphing Land. How am I meant to throw a bachelor party with seventy two corpses in the living room?! I hereby kick Apricot and his scotch-cwilling associates from this comment string!!!
Golly, I'm sorry. I offered to quit earlier, but Tibby put me back on the bottle, KaviR left me. What else could I have done? I'll stay off ol' scotch, and keep the massacres to a minimum.
That's better. Now if I could just find my leg....