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Song Parodies -> "Hittin' on EmiLoca"

Original Song Title:

"Livin' Da Vida Loca"

Original Performer:

Ricky Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Hittin' on EmiLoca"

The Lyrics

Oh gawd I'm gunna regret this one but the chorus just sprung into my head whilst I
was reading one of her parodies. This song's about the failed attempt to hook
up with a fellow parody artist who lives on the other side of the world.
Forgive me EmiLoca! ;)
She rips off 'Intuition'.
Soundtracks ridiculed, LOL!
A meal was 'Malnutrition'.
Hair curls was Aladdin's goal.

Boo-hoo, English she's failing.
'Socks Stink' and 'American Wife'.
Vertigo from 'High Treason'.
Oh, Emi, You'reAllRight.

She'll paint the Rolling Stones black,
Gollum's panting vents his pain.
She makes me giggle crazy-like,
With her quaint old 'Paint' refrain.
Lightly pulls it from her brain.

Love bites AmiRight,
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Makes luscious lampoon sounds.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
She quips with level head,
Such a winning-dollar joker.
Me: asking her out.
Hittin' EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.

Cracked up from her 'Don't Kiss Me'.
Just joking, I do hope... well?
She took my heart with her cute parodies.
I love her wit, wish to see this gal.

The clever minx caused laughter at that 'Nrd' Avril Lavigne.
Now to try to date her, hope she doesn't think I'm lame.
For Pete's sake, I'm so inane.

Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Let's paint bright red this town.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Her shirt's made of white thread,
Wish I had a super-soaker.
I'm nervous with doubt.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.

She hated Iraq's clothes off,
Bush's rancid shamed campaign.
She can't walk to me with a hike,
So I paid to take a plane.
Quite the Casanova, eh?

Love bites AmiRight, I'm hittin' on EmiLoca.
Miss Flight, attend now.
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
What's this? Too far to tread?
QANTAS angry white boy polka!
Australia's failure,
Hittin' on EmiLoca.
Smitten with EmiLoca.
Now I'm quittin' on EmiLoca.
Oh, the shame...

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 3
 2
 
 5   23
 22
 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

EmiLoca - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I muchly prefer these lyrics to the original. ;) You've left me speechless, which is quite an accomplishment. And flattered. And giggling in hysteria. Pure genius, deserves nothing less than all 5's...although my opinion may be a bit biased, due to the fact that I'm the subject matter. This deserves some serious reciprocation on my part. Until I can find a word that rhymes with "Ralphing", will you marry me?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
YES! YES!!! Oh my , this diamond ring is just divine! We shall elope in a golden carriage led by gleaming stallions and live in the land of words-that-don't-have-other-words-that- rhyme-with-them! *sloppy cyber smooch*
EmiLoca - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Gleaming stallions? Gleaming with what? Natural sheen? Mouth fluid from the sloppy cyber smooch? I think we'd better just rent a limo, stuff the chauffer in the trunk and drive off into OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland. (Those were the first 5 that came to mind.)
Chauncey Gardner - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I like to watch.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
The Italian stallions are gleamin' with se... err, something. Luckily they fit into the boot with the chauffer (Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber). Chauncey Gardener, you may come and watch our romantic wedding procession lead by the Door-hinge/Burp-pull/Still-fur/Huntth('hunts' with a lisp)/Gal-thing children from OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland. No watching from the hotel onwards. EmiLoca, what colour-that-has-no-other-words-that-rhyme-with-it would you like the wedding dress to be? Purple, Orange, Aquamarine or Turquoise? You can pick out my groom apparel, whatever style you want!
EmiLoca - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
The boot! And...colour!!! I love it! See why I proposed to this guy? Yes - all who decide to post a comment here are hereby invited to our wedding. It wouldn't be proper for me to wear white (not after last night), so I believe that a pale Aquamarine would suffice. Your groom apparel shall be a gaudy Turquoise sequined jumpsuit, and your shoes shall be made from gleaming stallionhide. How about a reception?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*sniff* I always get emotional at weddings! :-)
neminem - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice... just saw your message about this parody on my "Internet Stranger" and thought I'd check it out. By the way Emiloca, on the subject of "OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphingland", to paraphrase I forget which one of the Wayside School books, "Oh no, the baby's purple! What'll fix it? Bet a burp'll!" ;-) Oh, 5s.
Mikaela - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
time for the best friend to step in! heh i love this song but everyone loves her why not me for once!
EmiLoca - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember that book! And then nothing rhymed with "pink"...good times, good times. *glares at Mikaela* You, of all people, should know the meaning of MINE.
neminem - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Yup. Like, "My mind's on the blink. I can't write poems. I stink!" So yes. Basically, that series was awesome.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Chauncey Gardner, neminem, Mikaela and Your Worst Nightmare are cordially invited (BYO cordial) to the wedding of Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) and EmiLoca to be held once I've finished all my High School Certificate work. The venue will be the point exactly between New South Wales Australia and Tennessee USA. If this turns out to be somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, so be it. Well, I'm off to get my gaudy Turquoise sequinned jumpsuit tailor made whilst my rural jackaroo associates get those gleaming stallions for my boots.
EmiLoca - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Mikaela is cordially uninvited to the wedding of Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) and EmiLoca, due to the fact that she is a lousy prat. (You see, now the chances of her showing up at the wedding have doubled!) Just an F.Y.I. - I don't live in Tennessee. :) Actually, I'm up the river and a couple states to the left. Perhaps we could have the wedding on a Pacific cruise! How blissfully typical!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, I'm sensing some conflict here with Mikaela. Wait a minute, that name sounds familiar... didn't we hook up in a chat room last spring break?
EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Knowing her, you probably did. She has a thing for chat-room hookings.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Also, Jake, I apologize for smacking you in the face a couple of days ago. Just be sure not to schedule the wedding when your reaction should come. "Do you, Jake A Ral--" "OWWWW!!!"
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Apology acc-OWWW!!! ......There we go, the wedding is good to go! (Oh, and Mikaela, DON'T tell EmiLoca about our illegitemate triplets.)
EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Too late for that, you scumbag. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America - I guess the rest cheat online. You know, I thought you'd be my ideal for marriage, not my ordeal. The wedding is hereby postponed, and I hope these tributary drops flooding my eyes are the travel agents for a damn long guilt trip. *sobs uncontrollably*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I guess this means no wedding... Will there still be cake?
neminem - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow. I think this is the only parody I've seen where the comments field is being used as a place for a running joke between the author and the subject of the parody. I'm quite amused.
Jake A Ralphin (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, well I'm glad our Jerry-Springer-esque situation is amusing you all! Sorry for the confusion, EmiLoca, those illegitemate triplets were the result of Mikaela and I getting high from keyboard fumes and surfing the web together in a night of passion. I ended up with a tattoo on my desktop and she has three of those little baby things forever crawling around HER desktop. Remember, I'm not an American man, so will only cheat on you with myself, which is technically just taking a chore off your hands. (Ooh I love the wording of that one) As for Your Worst Nightmare. LET HIM EAT CAKE!!! (Withdrawing Marie Antoinette's guillotine) Tell me when you're ready to have the wedding, dear...
Your Worst Nightmare - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, I'm starving! Wait... Jake... Why are you looking at me that way, Jake? Put down that sharp object, Jake!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll tell you why I've got this sharp object!!! *SLICE* My name is LUKE you dickhead! *DICE* Don't you get how Jake A Ralphing is a parody of J K Rowling?!!! *GASH* Die you beeatch!!! *SLASH* ...oh, hi EmiLoca. Do you like the new kitchen set we got as a wedding gift? I'll go wash them now...
Your Worst Nightmare - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I know your name is Luke, and Jake A Ralphing is a parody of JK Rowling, but I kinda like Jake better. Plus it gets on your nerves. :-)
EmiLoca - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
neminem: What joke? I believe that a typically callow cyber-romance is nothing to laugh at. Our feelings are completely serious. (Luke, stop laughing. No, I'm serious. Stop that. NOW. Not only are you putting our love to mockery, but do you know how eekish that looks with that bloody knife you're holding?) On a lighter note, I completely forgot about the cake aspect of the wedding. At this point, I don't care about the holy matrimony bit - I'm hungry. The wedding is on, and Your Worst Nightmare may have as much cake as he wishes, so long as he shares.
EmiLoca - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
5 minutes later...My humblest apologies for referring to Your Worst Nightmare as "he", if he is a she. But if he is a he, then I do not apologize, because calling him he would not be terribly offensive. If he or she is still deciding as to whether he or she is a she or he, I also do not apologize, for perhaps I aided he or she in their confusion.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
OK Emi, my love, YOU put down the knife now....
Your Worst Nightmare - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
EmiLoca, I am a "he". What, you couldn't tell!? lol
EmiLoca - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
The "I always get emotional at weddings" confused me. But thank you for clearing that up. I don't know, dear...I'm rather attached to this knife. Why don't you take this considerably smaller one for security?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Just for fun, I'm going to take a knife too, and run around like a maniac. WOOHOO!!!! WATCH OUT, EVERYBODY!!!
T.J. Spindler - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*sniff*.............*sniff*......... this is gonna be so.....happy........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! $:'0){=<
EmiLoca - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*hands T.J. Spindler a tissue and a knife* You'll need this.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, make way, T.J.!!! HERE I COME!!!! *runs like a maniac with his disappointly shiny knife* This is so fun!
KaviR - May 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay so, i am like EmiLoca's best friend, and i better be the maid of honor! okay so i am moving and i must be invited so i have a reason to come back! and i am want a piece of that cake so i can keep it frozen and when ever i see it i will think...EMI! and maybe Luke....You guys will have a wonderful life together. *Sniff* *Sniff* happy endings make me cry a little. Okay so let me get this straight... Mikaela is not invited to the wedding right? She is my neighbor and i have to put up with her, and i couldn't stand her being included into one of the happiest days of my life (of course Emi's probably happier than me). Emi, i love you.... and you deserve him...*SNIFFLE* and the choice of wedding dress color is fabulous!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
You would've thought that after so long of running around like a maniac with a disappointingly shiny knife would've---*SLICE* Oops!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one Lorena Bobbitt!!! Can someone help me glue this back on, we're gunn need it for the wedding night!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm so sorry! *glances at a hot dog at a refreshments stand* Will this do?
EmiLoca - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
*looks disdainfully at hot dog* Isn't that a little big for you?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
It'll have to do, though it will mean less protein from your diet. (Someone just shoot me)
EmiLoca - May 26, 2004 - Report this comment
*considers* I wonder if a marriage license is less expensive than a firearms license.
Tibbygirl - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
LUKE WILL YOU MARRY ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? not emiloca, because she's a nobody. She doesn't even exist. It's really me!!!!! I swear, why would I lie about a stupid thing like that? I LOVE LUKE...um.....how do you spell your last name? Wait, who are you again??
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
... ... ... ... ... ... The Internet: the only place where you can get proposed to by two different women within two weeks. I'll have to talk with my current fiancee if I can marry you, Tibbygirl, but I'm assuming it will be fine.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
How DARE you, Tibbygirl, barge into someone's wedding and insult the bride!! No, wait, looks like Luke doesn't mind, so oh well.
EmiLoca - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
*narrows eyes* Tibbygirl, I've heard imitation is the best form of flattery. Now I know the fine line between flattery and mindless rage. I'ma smack you down, bitch!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
You mean 'biotch'. I'll just fill a pool with jello, conceal a few camcorders and watch the show.
EmiLoca - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Lime Jello. Mmmm. Actually, after some peaceful negotiations with Tibbygirl, we've reached an agreement that if I let her out of the Iron Maiden once a month, she'll leave my wedding alone. Sorry to ruin your fun.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Dammit, I was gunna store my donuts in that Iron Maiden. Oh well, it would be kind of embarrassing losing TWO rings on the big day...
EmiLoca - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I have an idea. Chain Tibbygirl's legs to an anvil, throw her somewhere deep, wet and bottomless, and we can share the Iron Maiden, as it could serve as both a jewelry "case" and donut storage. That way, you won't lose your ring (a-hem, singular).
neminem - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
EmiLoca is not nobody. *I'm* the nobody here :-D.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Somewhere deep, wet and bottomless? Well, that rules out neminem's bottom. AND loses any credibility for a lame 'ring' joke.
Heidi - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh my goodness
Your Worst Nightmare - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
CAN I BE THE BEST MAN!? This thought just happened to pass my mind. PLEEEEEEASE???
EmiLoca - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Should Luke deny your request, the orange bridesmaid dresses are really quite stunning. I'd gladly grant you maid of honor.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm...not exactly the Colonel Klinger kind of guy, so I'll have to decline. Thanks for your offer, though.
Alfredo - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
If I go to the wedding, I promise to keep Jake in line by punching him whenever he crosses it with bad jokes :-)... unfortunately he's not currently in the vicinity (because he's preparing to be conjugally matrimonified... ahh, G&S... <3 <3 <3 ), so it'll have to wait... *hits voodoo doll with a bit of jake's hair on* *hears OWWW in the distance* *sigh of relief* sorry, EmiLoca, I do promise not to bruise your husband-to-be too much :-)
eden - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
aw luke. you get me every time. girls, stick at it.. this one's worth the wait, or the travelling distance.. either way. congrats emiloca. ps. do i get cake?
Mikaela - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
yes i do have chat room hookup issues heh. emi aint' lying about that but i'm more into the mud (seriusly computer geek thing) hook ups that normal chatrooms. and you can't uninvite me to the wedding! sniff i feel like i don't ahve friends any more.
EmiLoca - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
You know you're going to come anyway.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, howdy Eden! So glad you FINALLY VISITED MY WORK!!! You can't have the cake and eat it too. Your Worst Nightmare, there are two things that stop you being Best Man. Generally the criteria of this role insinuate that you are the 'best' candidate and the other... well, let's just say that orange really suits your eyes.
EmiLoca - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Is there an award for "Most Commented-On Parody"? If this keeps up, I think we should split the trophy into equal pieces. I get the head!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
The sad thing is there are only 8 votes compared to sixty comments.
TIbbygirl - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't I get a say in what's going to happen to me? OK emily, since we are such GREAT buddies, I'll settle on being a part of the wedding party. I guess I'll just have to find a cyber-fiancee somewhere else on this website....*sniff*. Ah well.....life will go on. And as for chains and Iron Maidens and donuts, let's not have me do that. You never know...you might just be at that altar, and somebody will somehow change your pretty diamond rings for MAPLE GLAZED DONUTS!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
EmiLoca - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Yum. And did I see an "emily" up there? *gasps and faints*
Tibbygirl - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Emily....huh...is that your name? I just assumed....wow i have had one too many mountain dews. Hey luke....at your wedding, make sure you keep those cans of Dew way in the back back back....like in the Iron Maiden. Once I've had one, you can't stop me......
Your Worst Nightmare - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Luke, is it just me or are you telling me you don't want me to be your Best Man??? Just remember, I'm the only candidate running! ;-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
At the moment the Iron Maiden appears to be the best candidate, actually. Not only can it puncture Tibbygirl, house numerous donuts and keep Mountain Dew cool, it won't be able to tie me up to a streetlamp naked following the paraplegic strippers and alcoholic milkshake party! By the way, Emilia (I'm also just assuming, your name is so obviously Rumpelstitlskin) my mailbox has remained spam-free. Did you plug the right address in when sending premature belated birthday wishes?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
After pondering over and over, I can't make sense of your "eyes" comment. Some things just go over my head. The best I can determine is that you were saying I would most likely end up in jail, with the orange jumpsuit. If that is the case, then you should have no worry, because, as far as to my understanding, I have not done anything illegal. Well, there WAS the knife incident...
KaviR - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Tibbygirl i will rescue you from that Iron Maiden(if they put in it) and i get to be the maid of honor for "emily"s wedding cuz i totally called it. and remember i am so a better friend than "emily" to you any way. i swear this the weirdest convo i have ever read. and if you are planning on changing the ring, change it to a krispy kream donut that is glazed and chocolate all at the same time. then it would be like a double threat! now thats evil! muwahahahaha....you should give Tibbygirl a lot of Mt.Dew cuz that way you could have free entertainment! theres nothing better than when you can get something free! and it seems like everyone is getting cake, i hope you save some for me, adn get the kind that have swirls of vanilla and chocolate in it so it makes everyone happy!
Apricot - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
"Nooooo! For the love of God, NOOOOOOOO! I have to stop this wedding that I wasn't invited to, or at least steal the cake! If you need a preacher man, Father Edmund has no life or schedule. Let me know when the wedding is, and I'll burst in all dramatic at the last moment and yell, "NOOOOO! I object!" Then just quietly run off with the chips, several bottles of scotch, and some silverware. Ta-ta."- Apricot, Wedding Crasher/Dramatic Objection Maker, SI-MAE
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
EmiLoca's comment a bit further up describes our orange bridesmaids' dresses. The offer is on the table...
TIbbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, you know, I have no objection whatsoever to orange bridesmaids dresses, and since the maid of honor is, in fact, a better friend than Emiloca :) I am most definitely assuming that I will be a crucial part of the wedding party. I also have no objection to being the free entertainment, although I do request to be paid in bottles of Mountain Dew. As for Your Worst Nightmare, trust me, when they say the dresses are stunning....well there is only truth in that statement. The gaudy jewels in random places...the miles of billowing ruffles....*wipes away a tear* I'm just so happy!!!!!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Umm....yeah....I think I'll pass....no offense.
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Fine...then you'll just sit in the audience with all the other losers....or, if you want, you could join me in the Iron Maiden!!!! :)
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I'll take the pew.
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Smart choice.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Yup. Orange isn't my color.
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
You think they'll let me be in the wedding party? Or you as the best man? I think for my entertainment hour I shall be singing EmiLoca's "Your Socks Stink" as the first dance....and maybe as the next song, and the next, and the next......a whole night of beautiful vocal performances about the putrid smell of socks!!! *sigh* It'll be the best wedding ever.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
And I'll sing Jake A Ralphing's "I Know A Song That'll Get Me No Fives", which I gave fives.
neminem - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
As did many people, just to spite him... except not. ;-)
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, I LIKE spiting people!! lol
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
And I thought I was weird.........
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't worry, you can still be weird, but never nearly as weird as I am. Bow to My Weirdness.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooo-oooh! I think Tibbygirl and YWK are getting well acquainted here! Maybe we should leave them alone in a comment area for some privacy. *New catchphrase for random people pashing in the street- 'Get an iron maiden!'*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, um, not that acquainted, if THAT'S what you mean...
EmiLoca - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Pashing! Never heard that...terminology before, but isn't foreign language fun? As for YWK y Tibby, homegirl WAS complaining about her lack of "online action". She even wrote about it in my yearbook, which I'm sure she's regretting right about now.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, foreign terminology is always a hoot. I believe your 'Mickey D's' is our 'Maccas' and you use 'burn' in the same way we say 'get cut'. And YWK, stop denying your steaming lust for Tibbygirl.
EmiLoca - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
My favorite will always be 'the boot'. Always. And then the funny way you spell words such as 'criticize' and 'catalog' and 'nucular'. In other news, I think that Tibbygirl and YWK would be feverishly cute together.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
STOP TRYING TO SET ME UP! *pulls out a highpowered machine gun and points it toward Luke and Emi* Haha! Hahaha! I LIKE CHEEEEEEEESE!!!! Look! The men in the white coats are here again!...
Apricot - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
YEAH, STOP TRYING TO SET YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE UP! SET APRICOT UP! HE'S ALONE, HE HAS LOW STANDARDS! AND WHEN APRICOT IS ALONE, HE TURNS TO HIS OLD FRIEND SCOTCH! DON'T LET HIM TURN BACK TO SCOTCH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T! NOOOO! HE MUST HAVE SCOTCH NOW! AND WHILE HE'S AT IT, HE'S TAKING A FEW OF THOSE MOUNTAIN DEWS FOR THE CREATION OF MIXED DRINKS! AND THEY'RE ALL HIS! HIS, DO YOU HEAR?! NO MOUNTAIN SCOTCH FOR ANYONE EXCEPT APRICOT! {EXCEPT MAYBE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD USE A GOOD DRINK OR TWO.} HEY, APRICOT LIKES CHEESE TOO!
Icy - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, let me in on some scotch.
Apricot - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
UP YOURS, ICY! MY SCOTCH! MIIIIIIIIIIINE! *sobs and takes several swigs of scotch* GOD, I'M SO ALONE! *continues to drink scotch. Other people on board try to comfort him and take his scotch, but he breaks just emptied bottle and swings it menacingly* STAY AWAYY! STAY AWAYYYY!
S.T.G. - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Um...........yeah It really wasn't as funny to me, but it was nicely done, but I really don't wanna be a jack@$$, but I gave you all fours. Good job anyways
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
S.T.G., you obviously are not in on the action. Comments for "Hittin' on EmiLoca" were due some weeks ago. Now we are all preparing for the wedding, and Luke and Emi are trying to hook me up!! THE NERVE!!!
Tibbygirl - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I do not recall this "comment" that I supposedly made in your yearbook, EmiLoca. I am not looking for "online action" at the present time, I'm sorry. As for YWK, um......no. No lust, no lust at all. Nix on the lust. And, Apricot, I am fairly certain that I said the Mountain Dews were MINE, thank you very much. There, I think I covered everything. *gets up and walks away, with a triumphant smile on her face*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
See? Both components are unwilling. So there, I told you guys we were meant to be. I guess this means I can put my high powered machine gun back inside of my tuxedo.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
*grammatical correction* "weren't meant to be", not "were meant to be".
KaviR - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
emiloca i didn't see a certain "danny" on my flight, so you have to totally hook me up with someone so i don't feel so bad....thanx your such a pal!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, KaviR, there's a certain scotch-swillin' gentleman I'm sure you would like to get acquainted with... that failing, I'm sure Tibbygirl will be more than eager... And WHAT DID YOU SAY WHILST POINTING A GUN AT MY CROTCH?!! For your information, YWK, 'I like cheese!' is a line I use about twon hundred times (no joke) throughout my Hairy Potted trilogy (250,000 words and counting) by the random characters Kevin, a complete Timmy rip-off in a wheelchair; Gavin, a scuba diver; and Evan, a midget Impa-Limpa who works at Gangrene's pawnbrokers. So I will be saying all cheese-related comments from here on in, THANK YOU VEDDY MUCH!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Um, Luke, I think you are violating the Second Amendment....or was it the Third....I'm so drunk....
Apricot - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Fine then, I'll go get my own Mountain Dew. I'm driving! *whips out keys and drops them in drunken state. Picks them back up and gets in van. Swerves to miss adorable kitty and hits old people out for stroll.* Whoops. Anyone got something to dispose of some incriminating evidence in?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Apricot, Apricot, Apricot, how many times have we told you NOT to hit elderly pedestrians in the street? Here, you can have this garbage bag that miraculously appeared out of thin air.
Apricot - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Your Worst Nightmare. *stuffs old people into bag. Sneaks into Tibbygirl's place of residence and places bag along with some other bags full of children, hippies, and other people he's hit with his van in closet.* Not share Mountain Dew with me, will she? This'll teach her! *sneaks out using ninja-like reflexes*
KaviR - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
i want to know where tibbygirl found the hippies...would you share MT.DEW with me tibbygirl?*thinks of a good way to suck up* i would share with you!
Tibbygirl - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
So THAT'S where all those manakins came from!!! I thought I had stolen them from Younkers on one of those many nights where everything that happened is magically erased from my memory....I used those bodies for Halloween costumes!!! The hippie one was a BIG hit....I would also like to say that I am more than willing to share my abundant supply of the Fizzy Greatness (Mountain Dew, of course) with anyone who is nice enough to ask.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Tibby, even though I murdered your immediate family last night, could I have some of your Mountain Dew?
Father Edmund - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I too, could use some Mountain Dew.... not to share with Apricot, of course. Shazzam! How you like me now, 'Cot?
Apricot - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Fine then. I'd rather be hit with projectile vomit then ask nicely. I'll go get some of my own. *gets back in van. Swerves to miss same adorable kitty cat and hits several goth kids that happen to be out* Oh God! I did it again! Back to the corpse closet!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Apricot, if they have the gothic look, you could just leave them out and people will think they've actually been dead for some time.
Apricot and a Stenographer - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Aight, you wanna play tough, huh? Well, I've brought in a stenographer! Stenographer, read back 14 comments ago. Stenographer:"And, Apricot, I am fairly certain that I said the Mountain Dews were MINE, thank you very much" shall I continue? Apricot: No, that should be all. Aha! So you wouldn't share, and you said so! We see who the selfish one is now, don't we? Looks like I was right! ME! *softly, to himself* God, I'm so alone. *takes long swig of scotch*
EmiLoca - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
It's good to see we're all getting well-acquainted here. Sorry about Danny, Kavs. Don't worry...dreams DO come true.
Apricot - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm still alone. Am I doing something wrong. *takes swig of scotch* Hmm... Must be. *takes another swig of scotch, finishing bottle in two swigs* But what could It be that makes me so.... *downs whole next bottle* unattractive? Any ideas, let me know.
neminem - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You're male... nobody cares about loner *males* on the internet ;-). By the way, feel free to take some of my whiskey, I need to get rid of it while I'm still at college :-D. No, seriously, I do... I should really consume it in the near future.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, wait, who spiked the Mountain Dew?
KaviR - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
thats really nice of you to say Emi...i hope what you say is true, so by any chance can you tell me when the dream comes true? oh yea, and this was just kind of odd but today i saw the indian Tom Cruise, i swear! you can find anything Indian these days.
EmiLoca - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, nice. Odd, but nice. Spiked Mountain Dew? I think I'd better...um...test it. *chugs* Nope...*hic*...sssssall good to me...
EmiLoca - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
99.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, you're right, I'm probably just too jumpy. *drinks some more mountain dew* You know.... When you look at that cardboard box for a while, it looks just like Jim Carrey! HIC!
EmiLoca - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Not fair! You got the 100th comment here and I didn't...*hic* 100 comments of...um...beer on the wall...
Apricot - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hurray! Everyone's drunk! Let's go to IHOP! I'm driving! *gets back in van. I think you all know what happens next, except it's a bunch of mimes*AH! You see, this is the product of DUI! All the scum of the earth dies! I think you owe me a thank you.
KaviR - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
i always thought that mimes were cool, but i was terribly terribly wrong! and now they are just dead. Hey pass the Mountain Dew i want to see what all the fuss is about...
Apricot - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
That's right! All the mimes are dead! ALL OF THEM! And any that ever try to be born again will be strangled at birth! Thus the end of mimery!
KaviR - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
wow, good plan......evil......but genius......
Tibbygirl - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey...look at all the pretty HIC colors on the wall....weeeeee......it's all swirly and stuff........where am I??? HIC i don't remember this place...erm....HIC...anyway....this is crazy crap!!! Howdy Mr. Purple Duck, when did you show up? What's your name??? HIC no more mountain dew fighting-overs....FREE DEW FOR EVERYONE!!!!!! HIC!!! but wait!! there's....*falls over unconscious*
Apricot - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah! Free Dew! In yo' face, Tibby! AND I got everyone turned on to alcohol, AND KaviR called my plan genious. Maybe in everyone's drunken state, I'll look even more ruggedly handsome to these people! THEN everyone will love me, and I'll find someone, at least until the alcohol gets out of their system! SCORE!
Apricot - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hold on, wait. Tibby's givinh out the Dew, but I said "in yo face" Uh-oh. I've said it once, I'll say it again: I am so drunk....
Your Worst Nightmare - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, that's MY line! I'm suing you for plaigiarism! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! And I'm takin' all the Mountain Dew! *takes a huge gulp from one of the bottles* Refreshing!
Tibbygirl - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
*wakes up at the mention of rugged handsomeness* What? Where??
EmiLoca - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
*files nails*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
You know what?!? I sue you ALL for plagiarism!! When I'm through with all of you, you won't have a dime in your pockets!! I'm going to spend it all on more Mountain Dew! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
EmiLoca - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't have pockets. *bites my thumb at you, sir*
EmiLoca - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
This comment is mostly for the author of the parody, but GO TO THE MESSAGEBOARD UNDER "ABC's Round H voting" UNDER PARODY CONTESTS. You'll find a nice surprise at number 5.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*returns with a keg of alcohol* OK guys, sorry it's been so long but I was away in... *cuts off as he witnesses passed-out people all through house* Who the hell broke into my scotch cabinet? And where did all that Mountain-Dew-esque vomit come from?! I'll go to the 'H' song contest now.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Then GET some pockets, Emi!!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
You're going to need pockets to hide the corpses of the jury that convicts you....
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Good news, everyone! On another board, Tibbygirl got mad at me, took my scotch, and yelled at me! So before I knew it, I was told to propose to Mikaela! Now, as soon as I recover from the largest hangover of our era, I'll be engaged! Happily, I presume!
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait, who woke up at the sound of my rugged handsomeness? Oh no, wait, I'm already set up to be wed. Great, NOW people see me for my charming and pirate-esque appearance! Hmm... I wonder if I should reconsider this marriage thing. I should talk to some married or engaged people. But I need to talk to some who aren't drunk. While on the subject of alcohol, I wonder if anyone figured out that my scotch was like, 15% scotch and 85% moonshine/white lightning. Oh well, this should be an interesting hangover for us all.
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Here we go. I just stapled black trash bags to the dogsuit I'm wearing, and that should suffice as corpse-pockets. And holy buckets, Apricot! You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Hopefully, Mikaela will never visit this parody...if she does, you've officially got your first lifetime stalker.
Tibbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
oh, nevermind, it was just Apricot who was mentioning the rugged handsomeness...*sigh* By the way, marrying Mikaela is not such a grand idea after all. You must know that I was under the influence at the time I said that very grotesque statement. *takes a swig of Apricot's scotch* Here you go Apricot. You can have this back now...I'm done with it.
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh... I guess all that caring... all that concern... it was just drunken ramblings. Oh.... I see.... *slowly reaches for scotch, but pulls back* NO! I vowed off scotch! I don't know, though. Who am I trying to impress anymore? No one cares about my dazzling good looks, or my true loving nature. Oh, screw the world, gimme my scotch! *takes back his scotch, and takes a long swig of it* I could have been such a great husband, too.... or at least been happy until I discovered that this was all a cruel joke. Anyone got a noose, or some rusty blade? Wait, where's that Iron Maiden?
Father Edmund - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
What have you people done to Apricot? He was going to shape up and try to find a nice girl, and you people pulled him back into alcohol! You've broken the heart of what could have been one of the nicest people you'd ever see! Shame!
Icy - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Screw Apricot! Come get a piece of Icy! I'm rich, handsome, and I have some ice cream, grape soda, and a bag of heroin in my Cadillac Car!{It's one of those old ones}
Crystal Shades - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Screw you, Icy!
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I've decided not to kill myself. Instead, I'm going to look for a new girl. Someone who has a name I can pronounce without thinking about it.
Tibbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm sorry Apricot, I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings or cause you to go back to The Bottle. I'm sure Mikaela would be more than happy to marry you, as well. Good luck with that new girl, too. :) See, I'm not a horrible person!!!
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I can pronounce your name fine, KaviR.
Tibbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
oOoOoOoOoO Apricot and KaviR sitting in a tree!!!!!! Daniel Radcliffe is history!! First comes love.....then comes marraige....then comes drunk nights full of corpses and Mountain Dew. Hmm.....what a ....erm...."happy" ending. I should just stop now......
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*sinister, evil voice*No, no, Tibby. Continue. I was just starting to enjoy it. *leans back in chair*
Maya - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, Emi, Where is that ABC round H thing?
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Maya: Firstly, you gotta get to the messageboard. Then you must register there to be able to access the contest board. You should be able to find it from there. Hope that helps!
Maya - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Emi! I, along with the rest of SI-MAE, are now registered! http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/d1218.shtml I know this is kinda an ad for us, but we need people to see this. We vowed not to write another parody until someone was a definite winner of our bet.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
You look ready for some mass killings to me, Emi! Excuse me while I bribe the judge. *flashes a 1 dollar bill smugly at the judge* Hmm.... This is a very rude judge. Luckily, he's a corpse now. *stuffs him into one of EmiLoca's bags*
Tibbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Then the two of you lovebirds will whisk off to Ireland, where you will both feel very at home with the intoxicated Irish. You will settle down in a nice, comfy cardboard box outside the Shanigan's Pub and Grille, where they have two dollar glasses of scotch every Wednesday night. KaviR will begin to work as an actress and will star in various car commercials and will become the voice of public service announcements in all of Ireland. You will stay in your box all day, caring for the pet raccoon that you took in from the cold, and drink all the Mountain Dew and scotch that you'd ever want. And you will live happily ever after, and every one of us shall come visit you, and maybe bring you a good ol' corpse as a gift.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Did somebody say corpses? *searches the pockets of the goth kids Apricot ran over earlier* Hey! Five dollars and a bag of Skittles! This is my lucky day!
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Sounds lovely. I do love raccoons! Does my darling KaviR know yet? I can't wait to see her response!
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Your darling KaviR is out of town as of now, but I will make sure she sees this. I'm sure she'll be devastated.
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*nervous laugh* Why would she be devastated? We have a loving future together, one most likely stolen from a book I haven't read. I LOVE her, do you hear? I LOVE KaviR!
TIbbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*sobs* I'm so alone.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Awww, look Emi! This stray Tibbygirl followed me home sobbing pathetically. Can we keep it? She can play with our pet raccoon 'Superfly' and we can train her to attack any wayward alcoholics who stumble our way with Irish scotch in their system. Look at those big dopey Tibbygirl eyes! How can we leave her to wander the back alleys alone? Can we keep her pleeeease?
Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Good Lord! Crazy Kids... This was a pretty good parody... but jesus. This is like it's own private message board. I give you 5s... and I'm shocked. Good parody though.
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy buckets..."big dopey Tibbygirl eyes"!!! In case you didn't know (which you didn't), Tibbygirl has unbelievably large eyes that I make fun of on a daily basis. I wonder how she'd look if she actually tried to make them look bigger. She's a definite keeper, but she sleeps in MY room. *distrusts*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Loosekanen (The Armstrong)! Spread the word so that more estranged characters join our growing wedding reception with cartons of Mountain Dew, Scotch and cadavers! Tibbygirl has huge eyes? Call me telepathetic. And sure she can sleep in your room... *setting up hidden cameras*
wdh - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABCs) Great song, just great. I won't take off points for the fact that I had to scroll for 5 minutes just to get to the comment box ;-)
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Where would we be without my scotch and corpses? Wait a minute.... I wasn't good enough for you, Tibbygirl, but EmiLoca and Ralphing were? I see how it is... *Goes to get van. Pulls it into the road, and positions it so that it is facing the house. Backs up, then drives towards the house at full speed, empty bottles of scotch and the corpses of fat people flying out the windows* DIE WORLD! OR, MORE SPECIFICALLY, DIE TIBBY!
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
*hits wall, but doesn't go through* Whoops. I don't really have the insurance to cover this. Better try again. If everyone would just stay where they are, I'm going to attempt my massacre again. *backs up and drives forward. Gets through this time, but fails to see that he's hit 3 of his bandmates who were standing by the wall. Keeps driving through house, running over random guests blindly, looking for Tibby so that he might finish the job.*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, watch where you're goin', Apricot, you nearly ran over my bag of Skittles! I'm going to put some skittles in my alcohol, er, Mountain Dew, as flavoring.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry Your Worst Nightmare. I'm looking for Tibbygirl, so that I may run her over. Hey, let me in on some of that "Mountain Dew". I tend to murder more people drun... *cough!* I mean, on a caffenine buzz. Heh heh... Yeah.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Sure, here you go! I have an unlimited supply of booze, I mean, soda.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
*takes another swig of "special soda"* It's like a freaking carnival! *drives about, continues to kill, looking for the one that did him wrong* A FREAKING CARNIVAL!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I'M SO DRUNK, I MEAN CAFFEINATED!!
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
IT'S OKAY, THEY KNOW BY NOW! JOIN ME IN MY VAN, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, AND TOGETHER WE MAY KILL THESE PEOPLE, THEN GO GET SOME MORE SKITTLES! THOSE MIMES I KILLED HAD 3 BUCKS ON THEM!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
AWESOME!! First, let me shove these corpses on the car floor out of the way. Let's kill everyone, MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Except maybe Emi. She is the prime minister of Mountain Dew/Alcohol.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I love scotch. Scotch, scotch, scotch. Down it goes, down into my belly, scotch, scotch, scotch.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent! Don't mind the smell, that's just crystal meth and Juicy Juice. Now, LET"S FIND TIBBY!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, it smells like spiked Mountain Dew and corpses to me. But oh well. LET'S FIND TIBBY!!! Maybe we can attract her to us with some Skittles. Here, Tibby, Tibby, Tibby....
EmiLoca - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, I feel so loved! I'm not getting killed, while...others are. Hoorah!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
We couldn't run over the prime minister of the holy cola, EmiLoca! Pass the special soda.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Gosh darn it, we're out of special soda! But I have a recipe for something better. We'll need Starburst, sugar, and the blood of 66 small children! Oh yeah, I guess some scotch too.
EmiLoca - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I'm going to permanently leave this comment thread. What happened to our wedding plans? Down the drain with Apricot's Mountain Dew-flavored vomit? I'm terribly heartbroken.
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't leave! I need you! WE need you! I can stop drinking and killing! I can be serious! DON"T LEAVE! PLEASE! Think of Ralphing, and the gleaming stallions, and... and... OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphing Land! If you leave, I'll just start drinking again. Wait, no. I mean, I won't stop drinking! How about that? If you stay, I'll give up drinking!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, we can switch to normal Mountain Dew, can't we Apricot? No...we can't.... Wait... I've got an idea.... Corpse flavored Mountain Dew.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
BTW, I recommend this game to everyone.
http://www.mofunzone.com/online_games/tamaneko.shtml It's called Tamaneko, and you have to throw severed cat heads into buckets. I LIKE severed cat heads!
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
My God, what an idea! It's like the Necro-Beverage of the 21st century!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with EmiLoca. Our wedding is now marred with police helicopters and SWAT teams trying to chase down two loonies in a van firing heat-seeking Mountain Dew cans at cop cars and chasing down Tibbygirl as she flees to OrangePurpleSilverMonthRalphing Land. How am I meant to throw a bachelor party with seventy two corpses in the living room?! I hereby kick Apricot and his scotch-cwilling associates from this comment string!!!
Apricot - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Golly, I'm sorry. I offered to quit earlier, but Tibby put me back on the bottle, KaviR left me. What else could I have done? I'll stay off ol' scotch, and keep the massacres to a minimum.
Father Edmund - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
That's better. Now if I could just find my leg....
Your Worst Nightmare - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
We're both sorry, Luke. But we can take all those corpses out in the living room, and use it for our new Mountain Dew flavor. It'll be like recycling, sort of. Not really. But now we can put all these corpses to use. Hey, I totally forgot about suing everyone! Ah, I'll drop the charges. I feel in a good mood today. *throws a severed cat head into a bucket*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
*casting a stern look across living room. runs finger across table and examines closely* Well, you appear to have done a good job cleaning up your mess in a Stifler-esque hurry. Now you may make love with someone's grandma in a darkened room.
TIbbygirl - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*hiding behind her new bodyguard, Phyllis* I....I.....what did I ever do to you?? I offered you Mountain Dew....I entertained you with beautiful stories about you and KaviR....*makes big dopey Tibbygirl eyes* I can't see where I've done any wrong!!! Phyllis.....Phyllis what are you doing?? GET AWAY FROM THE SCOTCH, PHYLLIS. PHYLLIS....I SAID NO SCOTCH AFTER THAT NIGHT IN TAHITI WITH THE.....ERM, NEVERMIND THAT........PHYLLIS!!! STOP!!!!!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll pass, Luke.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Drink, Phyllis. Drrrrrink. You pass, YWN? In that case, I'm in! Who's grandma??
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Earlier, I introduced an interesting animal abuse game involving disembodied heads of felines. Now, I give you... Cat Death Auto! http://www.weebls-stuff.com/games/9/ You'd be surprised how many sick games are out there. I'm using the cat corpses for the Mountain Dew.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm going to pretend I never ran across that game.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
DEATH TO ALL CATS!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *strokes his cat in a very evil manner* No, wait.... YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!!!! DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Spaff.com - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Um, pardon me - I was just looking for an ABC contest entry, but I appear to have crashed someone's party. So I'll duck out. But before I leave, I'll just say I liked the "hittin'/smitten" rhyme and (heh heh) the Super Soaker line.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
INTRUDER, INTRUDER! Spaff.com has intruded the perpetual meeting of Murderous Caffeinated Alcoholics Anonymous (MCAA) and therefore shall be punished by Jake A Ralphing AKA Luke Brattoni.
Apricot - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Tibby, you offered me scotch when I put down the bottle for that old potential bride that I forget the name of. You told me KaviR would be devastated at our future together. I may take some time to forgive and for.... Wait. No, there it is. I forgive you. I'm sorry for anything I may have done while drunk, everyone. If anyone is missing a watch or wallet, that was me. If you feel violated.... That may also have been me. I'm sorry in advance. As for the wedding, I think I'll bring a few bottles of sparkling pink cham... wait, NO! I'll bring some folding chairs.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
NO, WAIT! Don't leave us! I want your autograph!!! SP-A-A-A-FF!!! *clings to leg and gets dragged away*
Spaff.com - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Um, OK. You bare 'em, I'll sign 'em. (And if you're under 18, by "'em" I mean your ankles.)
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*aside, to partygoers: "Wow, he actually came back..."* Sure thing! Off go the socks...and here, I'd better shave that off...
Your Worst Nightmare - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Aw, come on do you think EmiLoca would do something like that? Do you think-- *looks at Emi groveling* Never mind.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*sulking even more in the corner, throwing furtive glances at Spaff chatting up Emi whilst adorning her ankles with ink*
Apricot - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Aww, don't feel bad, Luke. Want me to go crazy again?
Maya - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*discreetly slips Ralphing a front loading powder musket* Here, go on. Take it!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, almost forgot since it was such a long time ago...this message board is fricking huge! EmiLoca, I was referring to Stifler's exploits in American Pie 3: The Wedding. For more tips on Granny loving, visit my nursery rhyme parodies 'Crinkle Crinkle Brittle Ma' and 'Gary Had A Brittle Mam'. *hands musket to Apricot* Go nuts, man.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Already visited those, and never want to again. Thanks for the tips, though. *wary of Apricot's weapon* Don't worry, I have an entire arsenal of donut-filled Iron Maidens we can hide ourselves behind. Which...would not exactly qualify as an arsenal, but the word sure sounds more intimidating than "huge collection of rusted torture devices used primarily for hiding behind".
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
An arsenal that cannot be acquired due to the fact that the Iron Maiden is crammed shut... (we must remain consistent to our 217 other message posts)
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, confound it...you're right. *begins ripping hair out of back*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Gee, you certainly appear to have a lot of Body Hair. Would you happen to be from Brazil? *innuendo innuendo* I'll grab some wax so that this pulley system can be created more quickly. We can use the unconscious Apricot as a counterweight of sorts. (I haven't done Science or Maths since 2002, I have no idea what the quadratic uvula I am on about)
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Lucky. At our habitat of learning, we not only get maths and sciences all year round, but we have it in double blocks, so it's twice as long as most normal schools. Gee, that's sure going to be fun next year in PreCalc. Hey, what are you doing with that wax?!?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm getting bored. We should be talking about corpses and Mountain Dew, not math and science! You hear that!? CORPSES AND MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Are ya WITH me, people!? Fine, be that way. Apricot, let's go make our corpse flavored Mountain Dew. *picks up some heavy garbage bags*
Apricot - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Hurray! A Necrodrink! Wait, no, use musket! Time for Spaff.com to die! Wait, no, use dead bodies already in storage for drink! Wait, gah!!!!!!!
Meriadoc - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Looks like Aussie/Yank romances are becoming all the rage on Amiright - heh heh. Anything that can engender a whole soap opera message factory deserves 5's...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Hardo.
Apricot - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Your Worst Nightmare, quit trying to get me back into killing with your constant mention of corpses! You know they almost kicked me out, but now I'm 'achanging man! It's so great we could all just skip the hangover like that!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff needs to die, anyway. He intruded our insane convention! The more corpses, the merrier! You KNOW you can't stop killing. You're hooked. You can't overcome your murderous nature.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait... Somehow, throughout my whole life, I never noticed I was a nightmare.... So...all that has happened here is just me, being somebody's nightmare? I'm nothing but a nightmare... I'm so depressed.... Wait... If I'm a nightmare, I can SCARE people! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! If nobody kills Spaff, I'm going to make him want to kill himself! I'll get in his head! I'm so evil...and depressed...but mostly evil.
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
All right, guys. Let's settle this like the civilized civilians we are... *yoinks gun and points it at Luke* WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?
Apricot - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
No, EMI! What would Oliver Cowdrey do? Eh, screw it, no one knows who he is. Let ME shoot him!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
No, I wouldn't recommend that. You see, if you kill the parody author at his own song, that will bring several years of bad luck...or maybe it was an unlimited supply of cheese... I can't remember. Oh well. Besides, what happened to killing Spaff? He's getting away!
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
*glares at Luke, refusing to give up the musket* He tells me what "Hardo" refers to, the intent of the referral, and apologizes for causing such disruption, and he lives. He doesn't...and I'll be making a lot more of that corpse-flavored Mountain Dew...Spaff can live, he signed my ankles. *contorts self into a position that would enable self to kiss ankles, then decides against it and unwinds*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I believe the term dates back to 1300 BC in Portugal, meaning "nice pants". But I could be wrong.
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Might I suggest the Water Wheel? That always makes the weak squirm. After that, might I suggest adding a bit more embalming fluid to our NecroDew. Brattoni might produce to bitter of a batch if he's pumped full of metal orbs. Granted he doesn't talk, of course.
Father Edmund - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*sighs and shakes head* You children and your torture devices. I'm going to get a bowl of cereal from what's left of your kitchen, Ralphing. Ta-ta.
The Mystery - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
HI!!! FREE RIFLE WITH EVERY MOUNTAIN DEW! Does anyone want a rifle? What about a Mountain Dew?!?! Please talk to me!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
That would be my insane little brother. I'll think I'll buy a Mountain Dew from him just to shoot him with the free rifle.
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Depends. Do you know SPINDLER?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I do, in fact, I wrote a song for him asking him to not leave AmIRight. http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/backstreetboys58.shtml I liked his group song "Where is the Love?" but lately he's been a pest. He once said, "Increase your IQ from a garden hose" What does that even MEAN!? The Mystery does not know Spinny, however. He has only made two comments on AmIRight before.
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
YOU? AND SPINDLER? GAAAH! I MASSACRED BY YOUR SIDE, YWK! HOW COULD YOU? GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE MOUNTAIN DEWS WITH A RIFLE! LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE MAKING ANOTHER BATCH OF SODA!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
It isn't what you think, Apricot! Ok...maybe it is, but you can't shoot me! Think of all the moments we've shared! Drinking alcohol... Hunting Tibbygirl... Drinking alcohol... You just can't kill me! Kill Spaff, kill Mystery, but anyone but me! I'm too good-looking to die!!
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This situation is way too amusing to interrupt with a pitiful, pointless comment. Wait a second...
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Silly Nightmare, you're a nightmare! Therefore, you have no physical matter, and can not have looks to be good enough to not die. If you fraternized, socialized, or otherwise talked to Spindler, you must be destroyed. And I expect the "you can't kill me if I have no matter!" argument, so I bring in this.... A Holy Icon! *presses holy icon to unholy thing*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Nooooooo! *quickly possesses Apricot's mind* Welcome to your worst nightmare, Apricot. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No, wait, I forgot, you have to be asleep. Darn. But I'll have you know that I have seen you talking with Spindler, and that would mean you would have to be destroyed too.
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
NOTE, YWK, that I did not socialize and/or fraternize with the enemy, SPINDLER! I told him how much I hated him and how awful some of his work was. On that subject: Golly, We've really gotten far off of the subject of the wedding. I blame Your Worst Nightmare.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Gee, you are right, this isn't about the wedding. It started getting off track when Luke was talking about guillotines, and eventually, we all ended up running around with knives. But, we were still on the subject of wedding, and then after exchanging words with Tibby regarding dresses, Emi and Luke kept trying to set me up with her. Then you said something about scotch, and killed a bunch of people with your van. I joined your killing spree, and announced that the Mountain Dew was spiked. Then we all acted drunk for a while, and eventually I came up with corpse flavored Mountain Dew. Later, Spaff intruded, and then Luke made a very vague statement which may possibly be a threat. People started turning their muskets towards Luke, when you suggested a water wheel torture device. My little brother came in selling Mountain Dew with free rifles, and I revealed that I had been in cahoots with T.J. Spindler. That is where we are now. Going back through the comments, I trace the change of subject to you, where you were talking about how lonely you were and your craving for scotch.
Apricot - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
So?
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ha-ha! YWN enters the fray, brandishing a long-winded summary of the soapesque goings-on, and Apricot bites back with a two-letter retort! BURRRRN! *fans self*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
SO, Apricot, it wasn't ME, whom you accused, that changed the subject from the WEDDING! I think you ran over the minister too.
The Mystery - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'M NOT INSANE! Your Worst Nightmare is. He calls everyone Bob! Does he do that over here too? Mr. Crazy is in the building! And I don't mean me.

So how about that Mountain Dew! Please! PLEASE! Well fine then! I'll drink it! Its all mine! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *drinks a can of mountain dew* Ha! BUUUURRRPPPP
Apricot - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
AND?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Aw, never mind.
EmiLoca - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
As long as we're on the topic of...nothing... [A STORY.] I was walking home from the neighborhood convenience store, swinging my plastic sack of whatever. I passed by a hill (I like to call it Baby Bunnyland, due to an extreme overpopulation of rabbits) that seemed to have suddenly been littered with garbage. I felt bad for the bunnies and began to pick up the trash like a good citizen should. All of a sudden, in the street, someone threw a plastic thermos out of their SUV window. A plastic thermos! It didn't break, but it rolled right into the road. Now here I am, empty 2-liter bottle in hand, staring in awe at the lone thermos, when this big semi comes rolling down the street. Unfortunately, I don't notice it's a big semi until the wheel SPLATS open the thermos and causes the bottoms of my jeans to be covered in some strange red liquid (I'm hoping it was tomato soup). So when I came home, I felt that the only comfort that would suffice was knowing that someone had voted on my newest parody, "Eat the Rest". And you know what? My ankles are dripping with cold soup, I still have that 2-liter bottle by my side, and I have THREE MEASLY VOTES. Oh, and ONE COMMENT. ONE. Call it shameless self-promotion in disguise as a pity party, but please! I don't care if you hate it! Just let me know you SAW it!!! *deep breath* I WANT TO BE LOVED!!!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
That sounds like a bad day. Your comment fills me with inspiration. First thing tomorrow, I'm going to hit random people on the street with a thermos of tomato soup. Then, when they confront me, I'm going to accuse them of not letting me express myself, then I'm going to write a book about throwing tomato soup filled thermoses at people, sell millions of copies, and get rich. Life is good. BTW, I only got one vote on a song I wrote in April or early May. I've seen several songs that didn't get any votes at all, just lingering there, with no recognition. I feel sorry for those parodies. Not really, actually I feel like throwing thermoses at them.
EmiLoca - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh-HO, you think that's funny? Well it's not. Not funny. If you're going to poke fun at my sorrow, you can at least help me get the stains out. And I still don't have any more votes. *blinks back tears* I worked for three hours on that one (probably a lot less, due to many, MANY interruptions) and I feel...cheated. It's bad enough that we don't get PAID to write these...;-) Ah well. I'll run by your single-vote parody and do you a favor.
Apricot - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Pssh. You think you can shamelessly self-promote? I can promote me and at least 6 other products, at the same time! Watch: *takes swig of mixed drink made of JACK DANIELS and PEPSI COLA: FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG* Golly, Maya, it sure is great that our COMCAST HIGH-SPEED INTERNET is so fast on this new DELL PC. I just hope that http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/d1218.shtml loads before my CAMPBELL'S SOUP finishes cooking. You know how fast those FRIGIDAIRE oven tops cook that soup. Whoops! Too late! My soup is done! *pours into PFALTGRAFF bowl* Mmm Mmm Good! Wow! Someone left a comment on http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/d1218.shtml! Hurray! This calls for a celebration! Get Crystal on the phone, we're having a party! On second thought, I'll call Crystal, because I love our VERIZON phone service so much. Or maybe I'll use my VIRGIN MOBILE PHONE. Eh, either way, be sure to get lots of TOSTITOS brand dip and salsa, and maybe a few FANTA fruit flavored sodas! I want everyone to be really hyped for when I show them http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/d1218.shtml! There, I believe that was 11 products, and me 3 times. WHO WINS? SAY IT! SAY IT!!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
In the words of MAD Magazine, 'you're a winner and a loser!' Yes, I'm back, sorry for the delay but I'm sure I told someone somewhere that I had a French excursion to Sydney from Friday to this arvo. EmiLoca, your arm must be getting sore from holding up that musket for so long. I just saw the word 'hardo' used in reference to someone who hadn't watched LOTR in your latest Pink parody. I thought it applied well to Meriadoc's comment that this deserved fives. In the words of some old computer game, I think Age Of Empires or something 'I am weak, please don't kill me.' I'll go vote for your parody! I will love you! *Big stupid Tibbygirl/Puss In Boots eyes from Shrek 2*
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm gone for like three days and everyone forgives each other....Apricot I'm glad we're all peachy now!!! Hey, why don't you hand me a can of that NecroDew.....as long as it doesn't have the after-effects of alcohol. I'm trying to cut back. Recently I attended a MDAA (Mountain Dew Addicts Anonymous) meeting, and I was greatly helped by the lack of people who attended. It was me and another person who looked curiously like me on the other side of a wall of glass. I tried having civilized conversations with the girl but she turned out to be very rude and mock everything I said. So I left, but I really think that I have been cured. However, the idea of NecroDew is very tantalizing....*reaches for can* Ok no. I won't...I won't do it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh boy am I a tool. I see now that 'Hardo' was their NAME. Oh well, I rephrase my previous statement and say that it is an Aussie tradition to use people's names as adjectives for other people. The phrase 'so Brattoni' has been applied to numerous people when they drop a bad joke, justifying a pummelling of their biceps. Nice to see you back Tibbygirl. Your eyes came in handy. *Handies them back* AND THANKS TO ALL WHO COME TO VOTE "PROPERLY"! YOUR FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!!!
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, I was looking for those....although it was fairly difficult to look without the use of my eyes. Thank you.
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
*drops musket* Ah, that's better! Nice to have you two back, it was hell listening to YWN and Apricot bicker on like the idiotic, chauvenistic males they are. :-) Purely to spite Apricot: Say what? Say the word "it"? Or do you mean for me to say "It say it!" There is even a possibility of the word "it" going in place of the phrase "Say it!", in which case I would have to say "Say it!". See, this is what I like to call Grace Hampton syndrome. By the way, what's an arvo? Is that like an ar-vee?
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I secretly hoped that this was all-Aussie slang so I can send some of my culture over your way. 'Tis short for 'afternoon'.
Dreamworks Representative - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I would like to note that both Tibbygirl and her eyes are in no way affiliated with the Shrek 2 film or Dreamworks Pictures.
Dreamworks Representative's sycophant - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Furthermore, any relations between the film and endorsement of Mountain Dew, necro-scotch-sodas, Iron Maidens crammed full of donuts and the aforementioned Tibbygirl or fictional cheese lands are purely coincidental.
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Arvo! *delight* Arvo arvo arvo! See you in the arvo! What's happening this arvo? That's one jacked-up arvo! Now, if the US wasn't the mutt of all nations, I could probably give you some authentic slang of my own. Unfortunately, all I have for y'all are various izzle-isms that I can't afford to publicize without a disclaimer - which I'd rather not write up. I'd be sued into a lifetime of subway musicianship.
Testing, one two three?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
'The mutt of all nations'... classic. I do believe 'jacked-up' is a phrase that we would use to describe prices that have greatly elevated due to some cheesy occsion like the Olympics, where a chocolate bar went from $1 to a 'jacked-up' $2.50. What context do you use it in? I am aware of your 'fuhshnizzle ma nizzle, I'll pizz a cizz in your a-izzle' lingo, being 'down' with the Dee-Oh-Double-Gizzle. I lisizztened to hisizz music at a sausage shizzizzle. And yes, I have dumped the crappy JARLB. My name, I realise, has all the vowels only once, like 'facetious' and 'pandemonium; truly something worth flaunting on this inane site. Testes: one, two... three?!
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, NecroDew is more corpse then anything. The ingredients to produce 30 barrels are as follows: 11Goths, 6 hippies, 4 mimes, 4 children, corn syrup, some other syrup, numerous long fancily named chemicals, Blue Lake #40, Mountain Dew. Therefore, there is far too much Necro, far to little dew, no scotch, {I'm quitting as you know, switching to good old opium} to actually be considered a Mountain Dew beverage. On that note, anyone who is recovering from a certain addiction to Mountain Dew may find this a safe, if not a bit macabre, alternative. And furthermore, why did you call me an idiot? What do you have against me, EmiLoca? Did I not plan to bring some folding chairs and death-inspired beverages to your wedding? Did I not amuse you with my hate war with YWK? I see how it is. *Pulls out the two sharp pieces of steel he had on another messageboard* You've hurt me, now it's my turn to hurt- again!
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Showing off!
Showing off!
How do you like THAT, packard? I used the phrase "jacked-up" (which is mostly used in terms of "That's whack, completely jacked-up") in context of "I don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll throw this in just to see what the reaction is." And do you really have three? That's so weird...I thought I was the only one.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, would jacked down mean lowered prices? No, actually it sounds like something that was hacked into pieces. I'm bored. Say something funny, Apricot. I myself have run out of random and idiotic things to say, so I'm looking for inspiration.
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, Emi, I'mmo level with you for a minute. You see, I have a sniper on the building across the street, 16 pieces of steel, at least 8 of them on fire at the current time. I also have an experienced artillery of angry German Sheperd dogs in my second, larger, more hazardous van. And *leans a bit closer* Your Worst Nightmare is actually a robot full of explosives that I built, and he doesn't even know it. That may or may not be all my weapons on-hand at the current time.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
$*#()@$&#)%@???? You are my...creator? Wait, who creates nightmares? I'm a nightmare, not an explosive robot. *hauntily walks away*
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
A robot!! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!! Come, people, let's celebrate the news of YWK's origin over a nice bottle of NecroDew.
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll drink to YWK being a robot. *raises glass of eerie black fluid. Several souls appear to be trying to escape, but fall back into the glass* Everyone, join me in a toast! To Your Worst Nightmare being a robot!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not a robot!! Don't make me get out my high powered machine gun* again!

* see comment of June 10, 2004 9:20:57 AM
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*raises her own glass* To top-secret information on other people's lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*sigh* Okay then, YWK. But tell me, how do you explain THIS? *rips off Your Worst Nightmare's back, revealing some wires, circuits, and other fancy robot stuff. There's also a signature, "MADE BY APRICOT, MAY 18, 3:15:06"* We're waiting! *leans back and takes sip of NecroDew*
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*grabs another can of Necrodew and proceeds to sit in a corner, where she can get a good view of the coming event* This is better than watching The People's Court.
Maya - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
The People's Court is cool, but this is way better! Someone go to the store, we're gonna need some Skittles, some Starburst, some chips, and a whole lot of wings! Screw wings, this calls for sushi! On that thought.... Screw it, go get some snacks!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
If I'm a robot, how do you explain your comment on June 18, 2004 1:43:48 PM, Apricot?
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
That was a dream sequence. Didn't you see the "THIS IS A DREAM SEQUENCE FROM HERE UNTIL APRICOT SAYS SO" right before that? I said it wasn't anymore right before I announced that you were a robot. Yep, that was a dream.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I still refuse to believe I am a robot, even if I do have circuits and bolts inside of me. That is probably just for nightmarish effect.
Your Worst Nightmare- No really, it is - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
JUST JOKING BEEP! I"M A BEEP! ROBOT! BEEP!
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Explain why you said THAT, then.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
IMPOSTER! I'll see you in court! You are charged with murder, copyright infringement, embezzlement, extortion and double dipping.
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*sips Necrodew* My my, this is getting quite good.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
All right, the next person who so much as HINTS at saying anything about robots, Necrodew, or anything shiny, pointed and weaponish gets a lifetime sentence in the Iron Maiden with TibbyGirl (YWN, speak up! This is your chance!).
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay then. We'll just have to find something else to talk about. *sips Regular Old Plain Ice Water* Yep. *takes another sip* Mm-Hm. *goes to get another sip, but stops and checks his watch, Then takes the sip* Yep. *coughs, and takes a sip* Ye... Oh God, I can't take it anymore! STEEL STEEL NECRODEW ROBOT ROBOT ROBOT ROBOT STEEL DEW NECRO NECRODEW SCOTCHY SCOTCH SCOTCH! There, I said it! That was refreshing! *throws down ice water. Runs over to Your Worst Nightmare. Jams Key into YWK's ear-like appendage. YWK turns into a really cool Cadillac car. Drives away in Your Worst Cadillac Car* Hahahaha! Catch me if you ca... *hits wall* Oops. I'm screwed.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't think so, EmiLoca. I don't want to be stuck with a girl who kept on trying to convince me earlier to wear a dress. Apricot! That hurrrrt! I'm turning myself around! Luckily, I have artificial intelligence and can drive myself! I'm taking you to Emi! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You and Tibbygirl drink all the NecroDew you want!
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I'LL SAVE YOU! *presses panic alarm on his door-unlocker apparatus. YWK stops and starts beeping uncontrollably. Apricot herioically smashes through YWK's side window, saves everyone inside, and while he's at it, takes the radio out of the car* HA! That's one for the A-Man!
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait, who did I just save? If I'm still in the car, then who was in the car that I sav.... hmm.... *takes long puff of marijuana*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, you might want to think about that. Besides, when I said I was going to Emi, I wasn't talking along the lines of running over her. I was thinking more of turning you into her so she can stick you in the Iron Maiden with Tibby. Of course, considering the background of you two, you'd probably kill her.
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Kill? Who? Oh God, I am so high right now; I have NO idea what's going on. Or maybe it was my evil twin. Wait, I don't have an evil twin. Hm....
German Sheperd Dog - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
*wanders over from other board. Makes scary barking sounds*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm confused. And bored. *throws a thermos of tomato soup at EmiLoca*
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait... YOU CAN"T THROW! You're still a Cadillac, and will remain so until further.... Uh, you're not mad about the whole "STEEL STEEL NECRODEW" thing, are you Emi? What are you doing? NOOOOO!
EmiLoca - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
*dodges the thermos YWN threw* *dodges the tanty Apricot threw* I am mad. But stealthy.
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
No! Don't put me in the Iron Maiden! Then I'll be within 10 feet of Tibbygirl! {again, an insider joke}
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I decided to not be a Cadillac anymore, Apricot. Lock 'im in, EmiLoca.
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ha! You can't change until I press this... *taps button, hitting on accident* Oh s***.
German Sheperd Dog - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
*continues to make scary bark sounds. Defecates on rug. Goes back to barking*
had it - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Please, everybody on this so-called "thread". It is not a thread. It is a parody to be voted and commented on. If the conversation must go on, take it to the messageboard, e-mails, PM, anywhere but here.
EmiLoca - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Are you Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) in disguise? Did he give you the authority to kick himself, his bride-to-be, and his various acquaintances from his own parody comment area? If not, I suggest you either file a complaint with ChuckyG or get a group of other "had its" to pressure us into deportation. If the author has a problem with it, he should speak up. Anyone else should probably...not. That said, also consider that you're the only one on this entire parody of nearly 300 comments who seems to have a problem with our conversation.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
had it, if the author is not only approving of, but engaging in the festivities, I don't think there is a problem.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I do believe this is the most commented-on parody on the site (I've check out the big guns and safely claim this title) so KEEP 'EM COMING! Sorry to 'had it' and anyone else, but I wish to bask in the purile anarchy of this comment board whilst I can. *eyes a German Sheperd nearby* You like your flock of sheep, nein?
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
We will defend our posts until the death! Perhaps a premature one due to that German Shepherd that seems to be stalking our posts!
German Sheperd Dog - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
*curls up in Iron Maiden and falls asleep. Some people try to wake him, but he makes scary barking noises and goes back to sleep.*
Apricot - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
No, it's cool. That German Sheperd is my dog. {See "Dirty Dishes" by EmiLoca} Well, I guess I should take him out to the van and cleverly avoid the punishment I was originally sentenced to.
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Can I come out, too? No offense, but I really don't like this situation that y'all set up. I mean, APRICOT??? Can't you guys give me something a little better than that? I mean, why don't you just give me a pistol with one shot in a pirate-esque manner and let me end my misery quicky? Come on, Emi....why can't you stick your Orlando Bloom life-size doll in here, and give me a little fun??? Just give me that!!!! I think I have been an asset to this board...can't you at least let me out or give me some decent company??? *pets German Shepard*
Leo Jay - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Good Lord, EmiLoca, stop this nonsense this instant and get back to work on more parodies!
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
She can do what she wants, Mr. Leo Jay. For your information, I'm sure that many of the words that are exchanged here inspire her in her parody work. So what do you think about that? HUH? That's what I thought.
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Leo Jay controls me. Must leave parody comment area forever. Wedding cancelled. Iron Maiden sold on eBay. NecroDew chugged excessively until gone. Apricot...well, I don't really want him anyway. Farewell, cool world...
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYESSS!!!!! THE IRON MAIDEN HAS BEEN SOLD!!! I'M FREE AT LAST!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! *runs into pole and is knocked unconscious*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh no... She's out.
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry, just came back here to pack up my things...sorry TibbyGirl, but we sold the Iron Maiden with you still inside... That means no running into Poles. That's extremely racist of you.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
..................farwell Emi! Come and visit my Christmas parody tomorrow.....*sob sob*
Tibbygirl - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, thankfully, the Poles didn't want me and threw me out on the street with a can of mayonaisse and a letter opener. So now, all I have to do is wait for my flight out of here in the Polish sheriff's private jet, and then I'll be out of here!!!
Tibbygirl - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
And I said "out of here" twice. That phrase has been used up. It is now dead.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
So mayonnaise comes in a can now? That is so out of here!
EmiLoca - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
*narrows eyes* Well, it looks like you're all doing just corkingly without me! Fine! I don't need this! I never needed this! What's this? Is this a question? SCREW THIS!!! *flings open dresser drawer and collects tanties* Farwell, and I am so out of here.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait a minute, this is so much better! I cancel my previous making-up with Emi as iit is just too damn boring!!! We get engaged on the site and organise the wedding for about two months, then after breaking up WE MAKE UP WITHIN A DAY?! Come on, we need to draw out this dramatic affair with Leo Jay for atleast a fortnight, possibly have a few star appearances from his evil twin Lrigybbit etc!!
Tibbygirl - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
OoOoOoOoO I like that plan. I mean, if we can drag out the Iron Maiden for weeks, I can't see why this nice little Leo Jay affair can't be seriously looked over. And besides the fact, Emi will always come back. She's loyal like that. She can't resist JARLB's witty one-liners any more than Apricot can resist NecroDew.
Apricot - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
So, I leave for a few days and this is what you say about me? It's pretty clear I was never wanted to begin with. I'll just leave then. But before I do, why? Why do you people "don't really want him anyway" and "Can't you guys give me something a little better than that" I'm going, but I leave you with a pic to remember me by. http://maddox.xmission.com/yeah_d55.jpg
Apricot - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm coming back for my German Sheperd dog! *leaves. People go "aww!"* Oh fine, I'll leave him. *leaves dog. People cheer. Music plays. People dance and pet dog.*
Apricot - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
*comes back again* I forgot my keys! *grabs keys and leaves* wait, I need my car. *goes over to YWK and clicks button. YWK turns into car again. Drives away*
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Come, Apricot, you can live in my 10-billion-dollar estate I inherited from my ancient Asian grandparents in Japan. You can have the second floor. They also left me their Ferraris, Prada bags, plasma-screen television, artifically intelligent manservants and a burger franchise. Oh, and JARLB - did I mention that I cancelled our joint account?
Apricot - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes! Japan! Burgers! Alright!!!!! Thank you!
Tibbygirl - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
And meanwhile, let's just leave poor me in a closet with a large pink bucket, an obscenely large beanbag, and an extensive shrine of Orlando Bloom. Estate? Who needs one!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
...well, I guess I'll play with... err, my piece fo cheese. *elongated pause* Why is there only half a piece of cheese here?!!! *refers to documents* DAMN! I didn't cancel the joint account! (I was actually thinking of doing a parody about pre-nup until SOMEONE interrupted the whole scheme of things!) *evil-eyeing Tibbygirl*
EmiLoca - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Welcome to Tokyo Turkeyburger. May I take your money? Apricot, those fries aren't greasy enough, dunk 'em for another five. And we're out of cheese again! Will someone please get us some...*furtive glances at JARLB's half-cheese piece*
Tibbygirl - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Why do I get the feeling that SOME people are blaming little me for this very sudden and crisp split between the two original lovebirds? I mean, I had nothing to do with it. I didn't interrupt anything. All I did was sit here and sip Necrodew, as well as occasionally offer my thoughts on the subject at hand. No interrupting schemes here. I don't hold with that scheme-interrupting nonsense.
EmiLoca - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Are you going to order or just sit there talking to yourself?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! I specifically ordered extra anchovies and no Tibbygirl in my meal!
EmiLoca - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm sorry, but we don't apologize. Would you like to Super-Size that?
Tibbygirl - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not in your meal, stupid. I'm in the trunk, where you threw me yesterday so I'd be quiet and not tell Emi your big secret. Which I won't. I mean, what big secret? I know nothing. :)
KaviR - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I leave for like one week and i miss over what seems like a hundred comments! and Apricot i will marry you if you still want me...screw Indian British guys, you use them where you can get them. So much has happened and Emi i hope you have vegetarian options at your Tokyo Turkeyburger. DON'T WORRY TIBBY I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THAT AWFUL TRUNK! throws on bright spandex suit with attached cape and sets off to rescue Tibby...then stops to look in a mirror to tell herself how good she really looks...OH CRAP I FORGOT THE UTILITY BELT(which comes equipped with a socket wrench and a knitting needle) WHOOSH...POOF...gone...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Who are you calling a 'Whoosh'?
KaviR - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
i called someone a WHOOSH?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah! I mean, the 'Poof' I can deal with, bt 'Whoosh' is such a terrible insult that my timid little heart was rattled to bits! *swooning*
KaviR - July 05, 2004 - Report this comment
i never would have guessed that your heart would be so profoundly affected by my "Whoosh" it will never happen again!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 06, 2004 - Report this comment
It better not!..................you can come back now, Emi! *opens curtains, eyes scan the streets, curtains closed again*
Tibbygirl - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
FYI, I just came back to tell my fellow people of the world that I may no longer comment on this site. I also may not answer any e-mails or ever talk to anyone on IM again. This is due to an obscenely stupid rule my parents made up after a certain little technical problem popped up. My parents called it a "virus". Said I was "responsible". Told me I was "grounded from the computer for life". So there you go. Farewell people!! I shall miss you!!!! (ps. thanks for saving me Kavi! I luv ya girl!) (pps. I love you to Emi!!!) (ppps. what the heck, I LOVE EVERYBODY!!!!)
KaviR - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
OH I LOVE YOU TOO TIBBY AND YOU MUST COME BACK TO US...I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, FIND ANOTHER WAY! LIKE YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY FOR INSTANCE...
EmiLoca - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Or my house! Just sneak in through the back window.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Your parents dubbed my comedy a 'virus'? Usually it is referred to as a 'tumerous humour'. Sorry for getting you kicked off your computer! Maybe you should do something radical now, like stepping out of your room. Maybe this could lead to stepping outdoors... and actually interacting with other carbon-based individuals in a natural environment!!!
Apricot - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm back! Where I was I'm still not sure, I remember something about Fidel Castro and a crossbow. But that's not important. What IS important is that you all have the rest of your lives to look forward to ME not being gone. And KaviR, I will still gladly marry you. Just promise that we won't move to Ireland and live in a box by a pub. Thank you! I'm going to get a bowl of cereal.
Apricot - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
*has bowl of cereal* Mmm.... Overpriced Japanese cereal.....
Apricot - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Have I just been abandoned here? It's been 5 days with NO company. I'm getting lonely. And you know what I do when I'm lonely.... *starts to reach for leftover scotch*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry man, I'm drowning my sorrows and burying them in shallow graves out back cuz I have done DIDDLY SQUAT on my assessments. My last term of school is only days away!!! Garg!!! I grip to the last remaining remnants of childhood!
Tibbygirl - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
'ELLO!!!! guess who's back? back again? jamie's back!!!! tell a friend!!! Sorry about that. Random burst of spontaniety. I have discovered that my sister, being the lazy bum that she is, has chosen NOT to lock her bedroom door, therefore leaving poor, computer-deprived souls to just wander in. I just went to Mexico and haggled with the vendors. "Haggled" in this sentence being "bartered." And I dug ditches. And met loads of great guys from NYC. GO BROOKLYN!!!!! It go'n rain.
EmiLoca - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*jumpy up and downy* It's you! ((more to come in ensuing emails))
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*cursing under breath* It's you! ((more computer viruses to come in ensuing spam))
Apricot - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
You're all back! Welcome! I brought presents! *hands presents*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Who's interested in a parody about this infernally long chit-chat conversation? Group effort ofcourse, just put your name and an abscure adverb below if you want in.
EmiLoca - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Me. Um...abscurely?
Tibbygirl - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Waiting for those ensuing emails, Emi. *taps impatiently or hours on end* Don't you want to hear about the NY guys? :)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Tibbygirl. That's the second most obscure adverb I've ever seen. (LOL to Emi, you really are a gemi)
Apricot - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
YES! I've wanted to parody this on going conversation for months! E-Mail me HASTILY! {is that ABscure enough?} ice_and_steel@pa.net.
Maya - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Why you people keep leaving me alone with Apricot? He's about to go back to scotch, and I ain't puttin' up with that no more. You can't think of Apricot as a friend; you have to think of him as a pet. When you leave him alone, he's gon' chew the furniture. In fact, he's already started. Brattoni, I hope that couch of yours wasn't very important to you....
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
That's no couch... that's Tibbygirl!!! PS. As this is my final year of school and all the 'important' exams will be in the next few weeks I might have difficulty doing the parody. We can always let this message board keep growing for more ideas.
EmiLoca - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I've added Ape's email to my 'Internet Lovers' folder and I'm all fired up for one psychadelic psong. A good place to start is a title, but I'm not going to be the first to toe the line...or the filthy dirt beside it, for that matter...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Gee, a title, I didn't think that far ahead. This is going to be harder than I planned for. *gasp* And then we need a tune to parody!!!
EmiLoca - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment
A tune? This is hopeless. How are we supposed to find a TUNE?!? *nervous tanty*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment
*idea* Perhaps we just make up a 'tune' and 'song' that we have parodied, give it an obscure name by an obscurer rock band and obscurate as many obscuficant obscudances as we can obdiddlyumpchuck into the parody!.........*crickets chirping off in the distance*.......*joins Emi in nervous tanty* Budge up!
Apricot - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm terribly sorry, I've been gone for a bit. I apologize if I didn't get any e-mails you may have sent. I'm still not back, but I'll be back home in a few days. I'm glad we're Internet Lovers now, Emi. I was about to kill myself from lack of contact.
Tibbygirl - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Apricot, stop chewing my leg. You're getting slobber all over Luke's carpet.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Technically it's Emi's carpet, she claimed it along with the TV, stereo system, collection of artworks, all bedroom and living room furniture and various kitchen utensils. I got the scented pine tree to hang from my rear-view mirror. (Emi got the rest of the car)
Tibbygirl - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
What a deal!!! When I broke up with my Internet fiancee (spell.?) I only got the tuba case we had our first date in, chock full of sentimental value. Ah.....the good ol' days........
Apricot - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry everyone! My internet is shut off until we get our new computer, so the address I gave you won't send me anything. I'll let you know when I get the new e-mail. Luke, I'm sorry about the car, but you may have Your Worst Nightmare. {if you recall, he turns into a rather pimpin' Cadillac car} Hey, speaking of Your Worst Nightmare, whatever happened to that turkey mofo? Tibbygirl: I will NOT stop! Not until someone's missing a leg, and it ain't gonna be me!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Has anyone seen my leg?
Tibbygirl - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Look what I found in the backyard!!! *holds up rotten piece of decaying flesh, some may say in the shape of a leg* Say, it must belong to one of those mimes......*tosses "leg" into closet*
True Brilliance - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Dear God, what is wrong with you people? How long do you plan to keep this conversation going?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
We're actually all dead, it is the mere spirit of our lameness that lives on to haunt the site with random conversation.
True Brilliance - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Haunt some other site then. I know you've been told the place for this is the message boards, why don't you take it there?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Because I have lots of issues and bearing the most comments for a parody is yet another measly way for me to feel important in a cold and isolated world.
True Brilliance - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*sighs deeply* Never mind then....
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Submission appreciated. :)
Apricot - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
'Sup, binch wankers.... I'm back again! Aiiight, these turkey mofos at Comcast aren't working for me too well... so... e-mail me at The_Seventh_Terrance@hotmail.com.
Apricot - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, where did Your Worst Nightmare go?
EmiLoca - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
...or rather, the ghost of EmiLoca. Shh, I'm supposed to be on paid AmIRight vacation, don't tell anyone I'm here!
I'm really quite excited to see how many people come by here to tell us how lame-mature we are. There's another record for you, brat. Oh, and here's another. *gives Daddy's worn album of "Le Freak"*
True Brilliance - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
more of them return.... oy....
False Impression of Idiocy - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
As did you. If you want to join the conversation, feel free to do so.
True Brilliance - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Do I want to join the conversation? Not particularly.
False Impression of Idiocy - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Then feel free to leave. :-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*tucks away ouija board* Emi returns!! (oh crap, I was supposed to focus on studying this fortnight...meh.)
Apricot - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Guess who's back? No really, guess. It's the German Sheperd dog! Hey, who's "False Impression of Idiocy"? That's awesome.
German Sheperd Dog - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
*makes scary barking noises*
Paris Hilton - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
*makes even scarier chihuahua growling noises*
Wolf - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
*makes scariest of all howling noises. Begins to chew on people's legs.*
Joe Piscopo, Future Governor of New Jersey - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
*makes guttural howling noises. Begins to breed with Wolf."
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! What have I told you two about doing you-know-what when the press is filming footage for the upcoming election?!!
EmiLoca - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Which one:" "if you want it, flaunt it" or "wetter is better"?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
The latter. And there was a typo in 'election'. ;) As Ardour Weakly of my revered Hairy Potted parody the Changer of Sequins, "front to back to clean your crack cuz back to front will smear your cu-hang on, you're not Germy!"
EmiLoca - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm exceedingly sorry, but I didn't want to know that. Boys and their bodily function jokes.

False Impression of Idiocy says hi, and why does Lupin the Werewolf still have an unsightly comb-over?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
You sly little thing you! (assuming you were the vixen slicing through TB's lycanthr- no-hopeness) Check out Johnny D's cool medals, I emailed you the URL.
Wolf - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
*is now very scared. Tries to run away*
EmiLoca - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh, shiny! I think I'll print it out and put it on my shelf of trophies. My "Most Likely To Suck Seed" medal is getting lonely. *grabs Wolf by the hind leg*
Wolf - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Noooooooooo!!!!! *Bites Emi's arm. What? Yeah, that's right, he can talk. Deal with it*
Maya - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
*comes in door.* Hey, I just wanted to.... *sees horrible act of bestiality* Uh... Yeah.... Uh... Okay... I'm gonna... Yeah.... Go and... You know.... Go to another board.... Yeah.... *runs*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
*emulating the Simpsons in the Sideshow Bob episode the results in Abe Simpson riding up on a motor bike and yelling ' I'm gunna haul ass to Lollapalooza!') HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!
EmiLoca - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
*emulating a walrus* Mwaaaaaah.

It certainly bites that the only visitors we ever get are AmIRight repo-men who take our stuff when we refuse to move to a board of less page-space. No! Don't take my ceramic Powerade bottle!!! *sobs*
PhlegmiOrca - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
"emasculating a walrus* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Maya - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, that was weird. If the bestiality doesn't stop, I'm bringing True Brilliance back. I know him, and he WILL come back with other people just like him. Seriously, it's in THE BIBLE. I'm not sure where exactly, but it says "Don't have sex with animals." I know they never had grounds to delete the board, but... Hey! Is anyone listening? *pulls wolf and walrus away from people* Stop it for a minute and listen! Now, if you keep doing this, True Brilliance will have a reason to... KNOCK IT OFF! Now, I was saying, True Brilliance will... Ah, screw it!
German Sheperd Dog, Paris Hilton, Wolf, Joe Piscopo, PhlegmiOrca, and The Entire Cast Of Disney On Ice - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Snarrrrllll, pant pant pant, woof, uhh uhh OH OH, grrrowwwl, *snuffle*, *slurp slurp slobber lick lick lick*, oh OH oh OH YES YES mwahahahahaHAHAHAHA oh yes YES MICKEY DON'T STOP OHHHH DONALD OHHHH GOOFY DON'T STOP DON'T STOP AAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Apricot - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! Dog! What did I say about wild orgies involving multiple species? Don't give me that look, you know what I said: They better be Satanic in some way! Maya, don't deny your love for wild bestial orgies. And bringing True Brilliance back won't help, I know him just as well as you, and I know he does the same with plants. {see T.J. Spindler's Frankee parody}
EmiLoca - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
*sprays board - and Luke's dirty mouth - with LemonShine, Formula 409, Fantastik and other cleaning agents with silly names*

And, just to counter the so-called "power of clean" - *blows PhlegmiOrca.....'s nose*
FCC Censor Followed By A Bunch of Ticked-Off Christian Mothers - August 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, Ms. Loca.... No amount of cleaners could ever cleanse this site. You have so much swearing, sex, violence, and teen drinking, I'm afraid we have to label this board "R to the X-TREME"!!!!! Therefore, no one is allowed to look at this board ever again without parental consent. What? I don't care if your parents are dead, you still need consent, gosh darn it! The FCC has spoken. *throws smokescreen and vanishes*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
*licks lips* Mmmmmmm.... lemon fresh. Speaking of cleaning agents with silly names, meet Oswald Sprorgenhoffer. He's been an agent in the cleaning industry for nineteen years now. Say hi to people, Oswald! *Oswald gets dragged into the melee of viscous copulation* Urgh! The mess! Think back to Chapter Two of the manual, Oswald! CHAPTER TWO OF THE MANUAL!!!!
EmiLoca - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
*in typical teenage-girl giggletone* Heyyyyy Oswaaaald. *wink* Do you have a brother?
Apricot - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
That's it, I'm going fishing.
EmiLoca - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Ask the fish if they have brothers.
Apricot - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
The fish have no brothers. I'm sorry.
EmiLoca - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
*crestfallen* That's all right. It's not your fault. Wait...do they have sisters?
Apricot - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, they do. If you swing that way.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
*grabs hold of Emi and swings*
EmiLoca - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
[Insert Austin Powers 'swinger baby yeah' reference here]
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't, there a bunch of text in the way!
EmiLoca - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, har har. If you were computer literate at all, you would know to delete the tex inside and insert the appropriate word there. I guess that explains all those TEXT you're always leaving all over the messageboards. *falls out of swing*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
...um, CONFUSED! Your capital lettering of 'text' implies that you are aware of the 'tex' stated previously, but is this referring to 'tex' as 'An extremely powerful macro- based text formatter written by Donald Knuth, very popular in academia, especially in the computer-science community' or is it a typo of 'text' that just coincidentally has capital-letter 'text' after it to consumate the reciprocal of ....um, CONFUSED! *hides Emi from broken-swing insurance people*
EmiLoca - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good. Because I completely and totally misspelled the word 'tex' in an attempt to confuse you, or hypnotize you, or convince you that Puerto Rico is, indeed, the 51st state of America...1 out of 3, yikes. I'm losing it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 04, 2004 - Report this comment
"Well, it's always in the last place you look."
EmiLoca - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, yes. It wouldn't be in the second-to-last place, because I wouldn't keep looking for it if I found it already. Sillyhead Luke. Let's go sit on the tire swing.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
*squeeze* Gee, this is, *elbows EmiLoca's pancreas* enjoyable. But I just have to say that *receives EmiLoca's duodenum in the hypothalamus gland* I find it more challenging *dislocates aural cartilage* when I continue to look *contorts spine into pretzel-like shape* even after I've found it. *nudges Emi'Locas shoulder with ankle* By the way, it's spelt 'tyre'... OW! That was my pyloric sphincter!
Tibbygirl - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
The Hittin on Emiloca World has forgotten about little old me.........and meanwhile I sit here, still with the rotten piece of decaying flesh, waiting to be noticed by you inferior minds. Have you forgotten the times we've shared? Apricot, did you forget narrowly missing me with your corpse-killing piece of machinery? Luke, did you forget my sweet Tibbygirl eyes? Emily? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU MORONS??????!?!?!?!?! HUH? .........all i want is my proper respect. Sorry Emi, for calling you Emily.
ZEEFERGINATOR - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Whooo newcomer! This is very amusing! If I had 12 hours and 47 minutes to read this..I would totally do so. But now I must catch up on my DDRING..adios sillypoos!
Apricot - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Didn't forget you, just didn't hear from you, TIbby. Got kinda lost amongst all the tire swinging and whatnot. Wasn't sure what to say. I hope the newcomer isn't another True Brilliance or Had It.
Tibbygirl - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
*thinks for a moment* I don't know whether to forgive you or smack you upside the head with a tire swing.
EmiLoca - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Luke, do you not know how to sit on a tyre swing? Didn't think so. *tips Luke out of the swing, causing him to land facedown in the splintered woodchips*

Ha, ha...Zeefer is one of us. TibbyGirl, EmiLoca and the aformentioned Zee had a get-together last night, and we introduced her to the only parody on this site with 412 comments and no votes. I...kind of doubt she'll be back.
Apricot - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Forgive me? For what? I didn't do anything, you kinda stopped talking.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, I do believe 'let's go sit on the tire swing' implies that we both had to cram in, so you can come join me in this abrasive pit of splintered woodchips! (Mmm... splintered woodchips...) refrigerate pez often- zeeferginator treep! (best I could do in two minutes) And let me get this visually in my mind... you, Tibbygirl and the aforementioned Zee had a 'get-together'? And even kinkier, it involved this parody? And by the way, it's spelt 'Tybbygyrl'.
AMERICA THE UNBENDING - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
WE WILL NEVER HEED TO YOUR SPELLINGS, BRATTONI LOL !!!!YOU WILL BEND TO OUR WILL, OR WE WILL CRUSH YOU LOL!!! CRUSH YOU WITH OUR WEAPONS LOL!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 07, 2004 - Report this comment
... uh, riiiight...
EmiLoca - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, but what an accurate representation of the American dream! LOL! ...OLOL!
AMERICA THE UNBENDING - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
RIGHT WE ARE LOL!!! WE ARE GLAD YOU SEE OUR POINT LOL!!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! That's spelt 'LOUL' you capitalist pig! ;)
EmiLouca - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Greasy aussie. *scowl*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Erm...I just realised that Australia is capitalist, too. Sorry for tramping grease all through your carpet.
EmiLoca - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
- September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
EmiLoca - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
OH, AREN'T WE FUNNY...

A brief announcement: I will not be writing parodies again for a long time. Um...I'll probably make a thread on the messageboard regarding this, but it probably will also mean that I won't be coming back to this site for a while. Just...so you know. :-/
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Deja vu!
Tybbygyrl - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
The "y"s just make my name look so much cooler. :) Lolly lol lol.
Apricot - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Cool... AND BRITISH-ESQUE!
Tibbygirl - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
That was EXACTLY the point. Are you psychic??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Apricot - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, yes I am.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Let's test your psychic abilities, then! I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 3.
Apricot - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
2?
EmiLoca - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
lolol no that is not funny retards
Apricot - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
That doesn't sound like Emi.... Hm.
Tibbygirl - September 18, 2004 - Report this comment
*sirens start up* EMILOCA IMPOSTER EMILOCA IMPOSTER WEEOO WEEOO
Apricot - September 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Who could be messing with us? Hm.....
T.J. Spindler - September 21, 2004 - Report this comment
could it be me? muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! T.J. NOT OUT!
EmiLoca - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
(The Real.)

Actually, it was my sister, Hevismoka, aka Katie, who imposterized me. And...be out. Please.
T.J Spindler - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
NO! muahahahahahahahahaah! T.J. NOT OUT!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Will the real EmiLoca please stand up? By the way, Katie sounds hot! *cringes at Pavlovian-like response to the word 'sister' that has been programmed into system via male-dominant education* She's like, 9 years old isn't she? And by the way Apricot, I was actually thinking of 2.4754.

OK then, there's only one way to handle this... PLEASE STAY, TJ! WE ALL LOVE YOU, YOUR INTELLECT IS ONE TO BE WORSHIPPED ON BENDED KNEE! *FAWN!*
Apricot - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!! *gasp* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EmiLoca - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
All the othe-mi-locas are just medi-oca...

I guess good looks run in the family...or at least they sound that way. Actually, she's twelve, but that still makes you an almost-pedophile. AND IT'S TRUE! The only reason everyone here pretends to hate you, T.J., is because we are all so darn jealous of you! I mean, your scathing wit - how could anyone retort? By the way, has anyone ever told you that your lack of punctuation, grammar, and grasp of the English language is hot?
Apricot - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Where are those damn steel razor things? Or that dog?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Who cares, Apricot? Why bother with such earthly possessions when we can spend ALL of our time worshipping the transcendent deity TJ Spindler! I too get highly aroused by his juvenile arrogance, horrendous syntax and use of ****'s to euphemise the all-powerful words emenating from his almighty typing digits.(Uh-oh, I feel a highly sarcastic 'Hittin' on TJ Spindler' parody a-coming.)

The Real Em Lady: What is an almost-paedophile? (That's how we spell it 'round these here parts, see!) Someone who lures a kiddy down a back-alley with gifts, corners them with their large trenchcoat and then hesitates with the line: "Will you respect me in the morning, or are you only in this relationship for my money?" Australia is currently conducting a paedophile witchhunt at the moment, so if anyone asks I had no idea that camera concealed behind the mirror in your sister's bedroom was directly hooked up to my hardrive.

For the last four months.
EmiLoca - October 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, Apricot, I forgot to tell you...your German Shepherd went to assemble the German Sheep, and your damn steel razor things were ingested by a two-year-old honeydew melon. God rest his soul.

An almost-pedophile is "a person sexually interested in children, but insisting upon spelling the goddamn word wrong, i.e. 'paedophile'". But your theory made me chuckle!

Interestingly enough, my sister does not have a mirror in her room. You must have mistaken my dad's room for hers.
EmiLoca - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Jake Lukest! Post a message on the board, asking if any parody has exceeded 445 comments!...and if it hasn't, we'll FIX that, dammit! XD
Phil Alexander - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn! I thought this one (http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/joanjettandtheblackhearts2.shtml) had attracted rather a lot of comments, but it's a rank outsider compared to this... only 117 at last count...
Johnny D - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
You'll see I deleted my previous comment about awarding a special Lifetime Achievement Award Gold Medal to this parody if this parody has the most comments, since I don't want to add more than 1 comment of my own to tip the scales here! But my offer still stands. If you can prove it, you win!
EmiLoca - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Prove it? PROVE IT? What is there to prove? Besides the aforementioned "if this parody has the most comments"?!?



Oh. Right. That.

I'll get on it.
KaviR - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, i can't believe you guys still are going on with this. I thought we stopped a long time ago. Hmmmm,interesting.
Apricot - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Nope, it's still going.
EmiLoca - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
KAVIR! KAVIRKAVIRKAVIR!!!!!!!111one

I'll see you tomorrow at homecoming, dearest!!! I am so happy you're back, if only temporarily!
Tibbygirl - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Welllll, Emi, she is now in fact gone. Waaaaa!!!!! Has anyone seen the various sheep-like robotic parts that I cleverly stashed next to Emi's dad's mirror????
Apricot - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Sheep? Robots? Emi's Dad? MIRROR? WHAT THE BITCH IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?! Did you decieve my German Sheperd dog? WHY?????
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, Johnny D, I think I say somewhere 'up there', between #247 and #415, that I checked out about twenty of the top parody artists (assuming they would have the most popular fan base) and none of them comes close. However, mine only has about twenty or so people commenting repeatedly, whereas they might have more people commenting less.

May I just take this time to clear my throat so that an audible 'thinkaboutaspecialawardwhenIhit500replies' sound is made by the phlegm vibrating in my trachea.
EmiLoca - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Eww, Luke! Watch where you're vibrating that phlegm!

*splat*
On second thought, look away.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
My face looks like gooey!
Stuart McArthur - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I just want to tell my grandkids that I managed to get my name on the Official AmIright Longest Comment Thread - Luke, why don't you write a parody about trying to hit on Emiloca and submit it.....I'm sure someone would read it
Arwen - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait a minute, Stuart...you have grandkids? But you look so youthful in that passport picture!
Stuart McArthur - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen, of course I don't have grandkids - I sail the seven seas - no time for that. No, what I meant was, in future years I can sit my future grandchildren on my lap and regale them with tales of how I managed to worm my way onto Luke's record-breaking thread....(didja REALLY, grampa??).....although Angelina doesn't even want her own children let alone grandchildren (sigh)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 31, 2004 - Report this comment
"Ya see kids, back in my day we'd make do with only 512MB of RAM and a T1 connection. And we'd be submittin' these things called parodies. Why, there was Malcolm Higgins...William Tong...Rick Duncan...Guy DiRito...Michael Pacholek...Phil Alexander...Johnny D...STG...Royce Miller-hey! Where d'ye think yer goin'?"
Stuart McArthur - October 31, 2004 - Report this comment
"Gotta go, Grampa, great-aunty Arwen just bought me tickets to see Lord Of The Rings 41"
Arwen - October 31, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL affirmed.
EmiLoca - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Status: awaiting affirmation of own LOL.
Error: 101 - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
There was a problem affirming your LOL. We suggest you end ROFLYAO and try again.
EmiLoca - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
*scratches head* Uh...so this means I click on the...no, that's not...I push ctrl-alt-pancake...no, that's Minesweeper...no, not "nakednib.zip"...what the heck?...LUKE! Your computer's insulting my intelligence!
Luke's Computer - November 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey EmiLoca, your intelligence is insultworthy.
EmiLoca - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
*after 4 days of deep thought*

Is not.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
*after 34 hours of deep throat* I think that phrase derived from people being worth their salt. I now re-phrase: Your intelligence is unsaltworthy.
Johnny D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
*after 34 hours of deep throat* ???
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I work at a Strepsils factory, we do lots of tracheal and oesophagal research into possible viscous substitutes for traditional lozenges.
EmiLoca - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Uh, that's gross. I...I insalt you!!! *dumps water softener down your throat*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
*relief* Ahh, finally my waters are softened!
OemiLoca - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
What the hell is "oesophagal"? Do you have to put an "o" in front of every damn word that starts with an "e"? Because that's how it's spelled...it's in the G.W.Bush Collegit Dickshunary...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, we do. We also have to write every 'er' word as 're', such as metre, centre and rerand. ;)
I just watched the Spellbound DVD and was...awestruck... by some of those little psycho spelling bees. The only word I got right was 'kookaburra', which you damned Yanks have to pronounce 'coo-cah-boor-ah' but which should rhyme with 'hooker Tara'. Sorry, I seem to be babbling on like I've got logorrhea or something...
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Emi: Oesophagus and the various forms derived from it is the latin/greek spelling still used in many (though not all) branches of medicine. Such use is becoming less strict by the day, and that's good, but old books, papers, and records doesn't change just because habbits do, one never knows where those old spellings might pop up. And from a writers point of view it can't be bad to know an extra spelling with an extra syllable able to pronounce if so desired. :-)

Or to put it another way, the way of always quotable OSCAR WILDE: "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."
EmiLoca - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
K1chyd, I realize that my unintelligence might overwhelm you, but next time you try and explain something to me, don't include a quote that refers to a "man" doing ANYTHING.

I used to be a Spelling Bee fanatic in my elementary-middle school transition and finally made it past district level in 7th grade. At the next competition, I missed the first word given to me - esophagus. Hence, the sensitivity when anyone spells that word wrong. Or sticks "viscous substitutes for traditional lozenges" down it.
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Emi: We all know that women's ability for similtaneous multitasking greatly exceeds the ability of men, hence I saw no need (or simply forgot because my brain's ability was already preoccupied) to clairify that OW's quote should not only apply to men. ;-)

Hmm... I wonder of old OW would have made a good or a bad judge at such spelling bees. :-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmm...
"At school they had a spelling bee
Some nerd won, I came eightyfree"
I never did suckseed

That's not by Oscar Wilde, that's by me in a parody called "It's a Fix, Its Suffix":
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/petshopboys0.shtml
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*Looking upwards a few* What's a habbit? Frodo joining a nunnery?

Aww, poor Emi! Poor, lugubriously pernicious Emi!

We don't do spelling bees in Australia, viciously pitting kids against knowledge... down here it's called 'public education'.
EmiLoca - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
It's so cute how you refer to your general location as "down here". *fawns*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
It's even more cute your using the phrase 'general location' and 'down here' in the same sentence.
EmiLoca - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, snapple. You got me.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I got you a pet snapple. Snapples are a hybrid of crab apples and apple crabs. At Halloween you can play snapple bobbing, where you bob around in a pool while the snapples nip at your genral locations. I hear the latest line of Snapple computers have plenty of bytes. And as for snapple fritters, toffee snapples and snapple sauce? Not for you sweet-toothed kosher folk!
EmiLoca - November 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, that's as clear as a buttonhook in the well water! You watch your phraseology!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Buttonhook: 'A pass pattern in which the receiver runs straight downfield and then turns abruptly back toward the line of scrimmage to catch the ball.

Well: 'The central space in a law court, directly in front of the judge's bench, where the counsel or solicitor sits.'

And you're telling ME to watch my 'excretion of a newborn child's umbilical cord'!
EmiLoca - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, yeah. I wouldn't want you doing that with your eyes closed, considering that's our child.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
...damn, I really *have* been focusing on work too much this past year. I'll make up for it with extravagant gifts and unethical manipulation of a guilt complex.
EmiLoca - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
...and strawberry shortcake?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Only as a pretence for a booty call.


*swish!*
Tibbygirl - December 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, you two have certainly been the busy little bees, what with the reproducing and all........and wow Emi, you weren't even showing at all in the past nine months. You take having offspring very well, I'm a tad bit jealous. I pose a question, pretzel-style: What shall this child's name be?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Girl: EmiLoca Jr
Boy: Leo Jay Jr

...hey, wait a minute...
EmiLoca - December 05, 2004 - Report this comment
So THAT'S why you were so careless with those cord-clippers. Hey, why are you getting those out again? I wish you wouldn't point the tip at me, Luke, it makes me feel violated.

*snip*

HEY! That was my GOOD left arm!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 05, 2004 - Report this comment
What, as opposed to your BAD left arm?





...oh, now I get it.
Tibbygirl - December 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank the Lord for Emi's multiple talents.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 08, 2004 - Report this comment
ONLY THREE MORE POSTS UNTIL THERE ARE 500 COMMENTS HERE!

What was that? I didn't here you!

WELL, I SAID THAT THERE ARE ONLY THREE MORE REPLIES REQUIRED FOR THE TALLY OF COMMENTS TO REACH HALF A THOUSAND! SO IF ANYBODY WAS WISHING TO BE THAT LUCKY DOUCHE, THEY SHOULD PROBABLY ALL RACE IN NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

My, that does sound exciting. I guess the first person to log on here could type a few in a row, twit control pending, and secure themselves a place in history as the first person to be #500 comment on a parody!

THAT'S RIGHT! ANYBODY COULD BE THE LUCKY STIFF AWARDED THAT HONOUR!

Unless, of course, people who missed out get all bitter and scroll through the previous 499 picking out ones that could be considered remotely offensive and clicking 'Report Inappropriate Comment' so that #500 begins to shift down.

OH YEAH, THEN I GUESS THIS WHOLE EXERCISE IS POINTLESS.

Oh...yes, I guess it is. There goes Luke Brattoni's place in the AmIRight Book Of Records for most comments for a parody...
ChuckyG - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Are you sure this is the first to hit 500? neuro's Linkin Park parody still receives tons of hate/support mail. I'm constantly deleting crap on that page.
ChuckyG - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
If you were counting based on the author's page, then be aware that is only updated once a day. I think I got #500 since I think yours was #499. nuero's only had 160 or so, I guess most of them get removed. Congratulations on achieving meaningless stat >grin< I hadn't even noticed how many comments this one had until now.
EmiLoca - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
And no one is more deserving of the precious 500-spot on the "Hittin' on EmiLoca" irrelevant comment zone!

Way to go, Chucky! You're even aware of the age-old tradition and forgot to actually comment on the parody! HOORAY FOR SHEEP INSTINCTS!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Baa.
EmiLoca - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I said hooray for sheep insticts, not hooray for not-even-first-round-of-American-Idol-worthy animal impersonations.
Stuart McArthur - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
the evidence is so overwhelming it's caused a shift in the rankings of masterpieces created for love of a woman

now reads....

1. the conquering of the civilised world (Cleopatra)
2. the building of The Taj Mahal
3. the penning of Hittin on Emiloca
Stuart McArthur - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
er, that should read EmiLoca
spellcheck done let me down again
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait a minute, Emi, keep him hanging by his collar! Sentences should begin with a capital letter! 'Spellcheck done' indeed! Take him to the Re-Grammarucation Chamber!
Steven Cavanagh - December 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't really have anything to add, I just wanted to be part of the phenomenon. Me too! Me too!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Steve, having nothing to say IS the phenomenon!
Stuart McArthur - December 14, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, Luke!
Tibbygirl - December 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I think that dear Stuart has interrupted the flow of random, unconforming, witty comments. Quick, someone DO something!!!! We can't let our comments turn into a sea of LOLs, TTYLs and BRBs!!!!! I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE TRAUMA RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Stuart McArthur - December 16, 2004 - Report this comment
is it possible to interrupt random comments - by definition? alright Tibbygirl, I'll withdraw my LOL...

and btw, WTF???
trying something out - December 16, 2004 - Report this comment
i am just trying something out and figured this thread would be the least likely to get annoyed by an extra nonsensical comment.
Stuart McArthur - December 16, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, tso!! er........whoops.........

(sorry about that, T-girl)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Ge,, obviously they are trying out.... SOMETHING! Fricking hooplah, I'll go craaaazy if I don't find out what that person's purpose was! Were they attempting to cheat the twit control, or simply document our reactions to knowing that someting was beign tried out on us but not knowing what?!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *foetal position* *rhythmic rocking back and forth*
Stuart McArthur - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
feel like I'm watching that new Aussie flick "SAW"
EmiLoca - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
That's an Aussie flick? Not too long ago I saw "Saw " (after typing that, I burst into a heap of giggles and could not bring myself to finish the thought)
Stuart McArthur - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
my dyslexic mate giggled also, when he realised he thought it was "WAS"
EmiLoca - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
And now I can't finish this thought, either. No wait, yes I can. No I can'
Stuart McArthur - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
t
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I'd like to see SAW.
Marjorie Daw - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm seeing Saw now - some scenes are a nice saw
EmiLoca - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
STOP THIS INCONGRUOUS NONSENSE IMMEDIATELY! I insist that we get back to the relatively safe topic of NecroDew, or Iron Maidens, or maple glazed donuts!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
NOOOOOOOO, we're all out of maple glazed donuts!!!
EmiLoca - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Huh.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Weird Al Yankovic: 'Albuquerque'. The bit in the donut/weasel-shop.
EmiLoca - December 23, 2004 - Report this comment
That one, yeah. Of course. Fa la la la la.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
La la la laaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Tibbygirl - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
*arrives on the scene with mounds of maple glazed donuts in a fairly clean little red wagon* Ah, I am here to save the day!!! Look, I come bearing gifts!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I've heard of bearing child, but this sight is truly amazing! I could hardly see Santa 'delivering' presents like you are, Tibbygirl!

Look! It's coming! I can see the ribbon!
lime jello lover - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment
emiloca i loved lime jello till u liked it! i hate u!!!!!!!
T.J. Spindler - January 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, it seems like you people are still doing this. Well, God Bless, don't get a cramp, don't eat the maple glazed donuts (I heard that the glaze has some poison in it), good luck with this whole 'Most Comments' thing, I'm gonna go to my friend Emily's house, I'm bored...and, oh yeah, after 1 year and 5 months, tj still not out...
T.J. Spindler - January 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, this comment is #529, I'm impressed. I don't know if Johnny D has given you a medal yet, I didn't read this whole comment section because it would probably take at least an hour, but bravo *claps*. Emily just called me she isn't ready yet, I got like 10 more minutes... and it's not the Emily that EmiLoca saw 'up there' in june...
EmiLoca - January 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, lime jello lover, I'm glad you didn't take your hatred out on the lime jello, seeing as you are still a lime jello lover. Or perhaps you forgot to change the title in the 'Your Name' field after you finished typing your comment.

Oh my gosh, Luke...it's a TOY! What a cute little Tibbyguy!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 02, 2005 - Report this comment
*melts at the sight of cute Tibbyguy eyes*

CUUUUUUUUUUTE! But with what shall we sever the umbilical cord with?
EmiLoca - January 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Human teeth.

*shifty eyes*

From my back.
T.J. Spindler - January 03, 2005 - Report this comment
And, I'm sorry I was such a jerk when you wrote My Land, you're right, I don't know anything about Austrailia. And for holding the grudge, I'm sorry. And for insulting EmiLoca, I'm sorry. And for all the rude comments, I'm sorry. You may now either accept my comment and leave a comment that says "Damn right fool!" or reject and leave a comment that says "Damn right fool!" and not accept. Or you can simply just accept or reject, or alter the message. It's your choice.
EmiLoca - January 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Give me a second. I think someone must've yanked the carpet out from under me. Or poured ice on my head. Or bit my left toe with tranquilizing teeth, and so I must shake it sh-shake it shake it like a doberman pinscher until the blood comes back and I can think straight. Straight like an ice cube. Ice, ice baby. Cholesterate and listen. Yep.

[Begin Acceptance Speech] Damn right, fool.
T.J. Spindler - January 05, 2005 - Report this comment
okay...well put...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn right, fo-.....oh, Emi got there first. Check out T.J.'s other frighteningly humble remarks on some other parodies of ours, dear. I believe our arch nemesis is *sob* all grown up!!!
*wails into Emi's shoulder, where her molars reside*
Tibbygirl - January 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought they were in her back???? Unless she has more than one.......*numerous growls are heard* Oh.
Tibbygirl - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Tibbyguy??? WHERE!?!?!?!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Tibbygirl, you've been pregnant for thirty five weeks and in labour for almost two days. LOOK DOWN.
EmiLoca - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Wait! Don't look down! It's not a Tibbyguy at all...*gulp*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Good grace, I have never seen such oddly-shaped labia in my LIFE!
EmiLoca - January 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I've never seen ANY in my life.

...what, aren't MINE oddly-shaped enough for you?!? *tanties*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
*frickin ROFLMAO*
You're so cute when you're grumbling about the inadequacies of your vaginal malformities. Here, I'll put up a photo on ebay for the female genitalia that bears stark resemblance to the Virgin Mary. That should should cheer you up a bit, you vulvally-deformed whinger.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way, you were a Caesarean? *gloats in own cleverness*
EmiLoca - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, I've been a Caesarean for sixteen years now. I'm also half Japanese. By the way, would you mind if I joined you in your own cleverness? I'm sure there's room for two to gloat.
Not-So-Nicely-Nicely Johnson - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Last night I dreamed
I was on the gloat to heaven
And by some chance
Luke and Emi were along
So there I stood
As Luke hollered, "Top THAT, Emi!"
Emi's I.Q. made Luke's look like King Kong's ...

And then Emi, she said "Shut up,"
"Shut up, you're rocking the gloat!"
Emi, she said, "Shut up,"
"Shut up, you're rocking the gloat!"
"An' The Leno will drag you under,
"by the sharpened chin he wears like a goat!
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
"SHUT-UP, you're ROCKING THE GLOAT!"
EmiLoca - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment
*applauds* DKTOS but a great read. I give it a 5-5-5 (pacing, pants size, number of labia).
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*196 IQ from http://community.sparknotes.com/iq/ dwindling...
ego from 99th percentile in Cognitive Ability test deflating...
must... resort to... male-chauvinistic bravado...


Ahem. "So you leave your house every day through the skylight? And take off ONE of your shoes upon entering it on your return?"
I would love for you to join me on this gloat, but I'm afraid your disproportionate labia may capsize it.
EmiLoca - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm actually among many five-labia'd women in a tribe I like to call 'The Sisterhood of the Completely Normal Genital Areas And Everyone Else Is Weird and Luke Brattoni is An Immaculate Bastard'. But we call it the YMCA.

Besides, I got a higher score than you on the IQ test. *large, obnoxious grin*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
That's because they counter in age, sex and labia count. You had an advantage. *grumpily kicks V-Plates*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Watched the Australia Day Awards last night. In typical fashion, most of the Australians of the Year were born overseas.
EmiLoca - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
* while tending to bruised "V-Plates" *

Considering the only Australians I'm familiar with are Nicole Kidman and Osama bin Laden, I took a Google-gander and looked up these elusive little Australia Day Awards. Heck, I'd give a guy named Rodney Cocks an award just for being an actual person and not a made-up telemarketer used for crank yanking.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Well why don't you add 'Award for Being An Actual Person and not a Made-Up Telemarketer Used for Crank Yanking' to your elusive little list of EmiLoca awards you were planning a few months back? I nominate a guy who was in my representative soccer team and who is now entering a country music career: Brock Colley. He doesn't taste nice, but he's good for you!

In case the phrase 'V-plates' is yet another Australian term made up by Nicole and Osama in their ploy for global confusion regarding Aussie slang, it refers to one of the following:
a) Surgical implements placed across the vagina to correct labia malformation.
b) Crockery made from recycled Vegemite jars.
c) Virginity
EmiLoca - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I nominate my dear churchgoing, elderly neighbor named Aite Salami (actually pronounced 'I Eat Salami'). Poor guy actually works in a deli.

Luke, would you mind tending to my bruised virginity? I'd do it myself, but my fingers are covered in maple glaze.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah. Right. 'Maple glaze.'
Would you mind cutting out that disgusting behaviour and fixing the crockery already?
EmiLoca - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Good idea - then we can replenish our donut supply by soaking a few generics in the sticky excess.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll get to work on the cream-filled's.
Iatea Biggah Honkina Zucchinia - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, I rezemblah that-ah remark-ah.
EmiLoca - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
EEUU.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
AA IIOO .
EmiLoca - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Your MOM, AA IIOO.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Your MUM, Your MOM, AA IIOO.
EmiLoca - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Low blow.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
OK, if you insist. But I hear maple glaze is an acquired taste.
*descends*
EmiLoca - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Hold on a second. *calls repairman for installation of V-plates*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
That's a minor issue for the moment.
EmiLoca - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Too late, the repairman's here and his name is Leo. Oh, a little to the left. Ah, yes, that's the spot. Now screw that in tight.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmph. May I ask why you need a new hire-man?
EmiLoca - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
No, you may not. But you could help out with the V-Maintenance bill...come now, pay Mr. Leo, dear.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
*tanties childishly under breath* Alright Leo, take the cash and go!
...whaddaya mean it's gunna cost 250% the fixed rate? Well, you didn't cost in 5 malformed labia on the appraisal!
*Tibbygirl eyes* Emi, honey, would excuse us for a moment?


...Right, Leo, I'm low on cash at the moment, so just take that basket of cream-filled donuts and we'll call it even. Shake on it? Sure, I'm fine with that.
Your Worst Nightmare - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Holy COW! I remember playing along and joking with you guys last summer, but have you been going nonstop on the comments in this song? Unbelievable. You guys are AWESOME.
EmiLoca - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Are you kidding? YOU'RE the one who came back from the dead. Pretty awesome yourself.

Out of donuts already? We'll have to start on another batch. Luckily, these V-Plates will ease production considerably.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Hopefully, cusz if they break, we'll have to start re-production.
May I just point out how being even more awe-inspiring than 'awesome' would be 'awful'?

EmiLoca- February 12, 2005 11:13:48 AM
No.


Maldición!
EmiLoca - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
You don't really know Spanish, do you? :-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
...ooouuuuiiii......
EmiLoca - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Didn't think so. Listen, if you want to impress me, take a gander at translating some of the cryptic crap up there from July 2004. I absolutely. Don't. Get it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Me? Want to impress you? Ha! Whatever would give you that impression! Ha!


*eye twitch*


...right on it, my brilliant, lovely, pultrichudinous Emi!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmmmmm...sorry, I was unable to find the 'English/ PsychoticallyRandomAdolescentRamblings' dictionary in the library. Try 'Cryptic Meg' from one of those women's magazines.


Now, to impress me...hmm... well, ever since your utterly unworkoutable name of 'Emily' was deciphered from your pseudonym, I have had only one other thing bugging me.



WHAT'S YOUR SHOE SIZE?
EmiLoca - February 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm a size 7 1/2...and you know what they say. Small feet...small shoes.

Good work, Sherlock. Emily is indeed my given name (although I am also known as Emi, Em, Soy Sauceand Fitzschlonger Penne, M.D.), but I'd be even more impressed if you guessed my shoe size.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 16, 2005 - Report this comment
... you want me to guess your shoe size... after you've already told me it?

What am I, some kinda mind reader? Why not just go ahead and have me guess your hair colour while you're at it; Ms Herculean-Task-Setter!

I'm a size 12 1/2, but that's like a European 48, which gives my genitals a much needed boost of confidence.
The Day The Luke Stood Still - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Gort, Jaake-tu berada dick-toe.
Alone - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Sha........................
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
*heaving tanty sobs* I
CAN'T
UN
DERSTAAAAND!
*wails*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Frapping zoop, that formatted blittily!
Alone - February 18, 2005 - Report this comment
And you never will, and you never will. Four......
EmiLoca - February 19, 2005 - Report this comment
What the freaking frack was that?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
And I never will, and I never will. Three...
EmiLoca - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Stop it, or I'll thwack thee with thy hotganny salts.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Hotgranny?


...Oh crap. OH CRAP. I just a stomach-churning moment of realisation. My dear little Italian grandmother (quote "Eppy barzday, bambino! Brllluto rlllazzo rlloneh!" unquote) happens to be an Emi. 'Emilia' to be more exact, but often referred to using the aforementioned nome. This connection unlocks somethign deep within my subconscious... I secretly want you to cook me delicious servings of pasta, lasagne and gnocci! (Or secretly want to seduce my hotgranny, whatever.)
Your Worst Nightmare - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Why is the NecroDew so detestably pungeant and evil? No wait, it was always like that. (takes a nice long swig) Ahhh! I can tell this corpse was at least six months dead.
EmiLoca - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Bravo, Lukey! Um...fortissimo pizza. That is very, very amusing. Even more amusing that it took you THIS LONG to learn my secret.
Your Worst Nightmare - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way, Tibbygirl stole my knife and I would very much appreciate it if it was returned to me, despite the terrible incident of May 22, 2004 10:25:25 AM, which I apologize once again for, giving my best wishes to Luke.
Your Worst Nightmare - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way, I have been enlightened about the evils of capitalism, therefore I am selling anti-capitalism t-shirts for fifteen bucks apeice.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm on eggshells typing this on the uni computers right infrton of the librarians, who wear massive anti-email anti-fun t-shirts. Pray...for...mojo...
EmiLoca - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Really? I'm on eggshells typing this in a chicken coop full of overprotective mother hens. Hey, no pecking there!
Your Worst Nightmare - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." I was reflecting deeply on this profound piece of literature and it made me think what I was going to do with my life. I don't think I want to eat it for breakfast, seeing as I don't like grapefruit anyway. Sigh...if only life was less squishy...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Yay! All registered at Uni and got kudos from a Media Advisor for pointing out a flaw in their documenting Culture 100 as a second semester subject when it was CLEARLY a first semester one, thus the system probably screwed over hundreds of applicants trying to organise their timetables.
Hens go crazy for maple glaze.
Tibbygirl - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
So.....this baby of mine.....is it.....normal? No? Oh. That explains some things.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Your annual twelve seconds of standing is up. Ahem.
Sit down, Tibbygirl. Now.
Wijenne - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Uh...I like the parody...a lot. :
EmiLoca - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Tibbygirl, that comment was about 49 days too late.

And about 49 days not funny.

The jury has reached a verdict:
The Jury - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SIT DOWN, TIBBYGIRL. NOW.

And while you're at it, would you mind showing us the dance you did the night Simon died? *Blasphemous use of inside joke-d!*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I take it this is one of those 'sitting-down dances'?
No tutorial lessons this week, but I have my first lecture in three hours.
*Blasphemous use of daily routine that isn't a joke at all-ed*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I've just signed up Jackie Chan for my debut feature film:
"100 More Comments In 80 Days."
EmiLoca - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Assuming you've read "Lord of the Flies" before, we had a mock trial in English class last year in which Tibbygirl played the character of Jack, who was on trial for the manslaughter of Simon. Naturally, because I happened to be the prosecutor, she ended up being more or less verbally slaughtered herself.

Lecture? LECTURE? What the gew are you talking about?!? The absolute sacrilege!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Did you verbally skewer her head on a pole afterwards?
I'd explain, but I have a tutorial. My gew seems seaworthy.
Your Worst Nightmare - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I have no idea what you people are talking about. I guess everything is well and normal then. Can I still have my knife back?
What EmiLoca would say - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
No.
EmiLoca - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll speak for myself, thanks.

Pardon my Spanish, but no.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
The Spanish all have knife fetishes.
EmiLoca - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Our knife fetishes are nothing compared to the infamous Australian turquoise-sequinned jumpsuit fetish.
Your Worst Nightmare - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
What if I promise to be extra-careful with it? Pleeeeeease? I said I was sorry!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Get off my leg, you're creasing the turquoise! Go and grab something from the Iron Maiden, it's full of old junk.
EmiLoca - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Uh, Luke? The Iron Maiden is now a historical landmark, and state troopers are charging admission.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, well, go and grab an Iron Man, then.
...
...
...oh crap.
EmiLoca - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Crap indeed. *teeheetanty/
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh dear, major faux pas there. I'm a gentleman though. When a girl farts next to me in class, I yell out 'Excuse me!' and so this chivalrous behaviour will continue as I make *doing this/ this height of gewness.
EmiLoca - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
And after I've been so nice to you with all your unforgivable misspellings of 'behavior' and 'organize' and 'biatch'. And that "/" was TOTALLY intentional. *intentional/
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
*adopts academia hat... from the orphanage*
Us: 10mm= 1 cm. 100cm= 1m. 1000m= 1 km.
U.S.: 12 ins= 1 ft. 3 ft = 1 yd. 1760 yds = 1 mile.
Us: 1000g= kg. 1000kg= 1 tonne.
U.S.: 16 oz= 1lb. 14 lb= 1 stone.
Us: 0*C= Water freezes. 100*C= Water boils.
U.S.: 32*F= Water freezes. 212*F= Water boils.
Us: Azza&Nazza
U.S.: You.

Fine, you win by default.
EmiLoca - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
As always. :-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 08, 2005 - Report this comment
You win detrophy. There's a surprise inside.
EmiLoca - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
An' you win dystrophy, mon. *breaks your arm*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
*teddies do the 'bestest friends again' dance*
EmiLoca - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I am unfamiliar with this dance. Has it any resemblance to the Cha-Cha Slide?
For now I am what you thought I was rather. Now is what this is which you percieved. - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Bitch.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
...actually, I couldn't have put it better. That explanation has become what I initially imagined. The unattained description has obfuscated into the moorish mists of... EMILOCA, DANCE NOW!
*bomp, bomp bomp bomp, bomp!*
EmiLoca - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Da da da da da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da, da da da la da da da la da da da dum da dum da dum.

EMILOCA'S DONE NOW.
Or rather so thought you as now am I riddles in talking - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Not enough.
Everyone - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Sit down, Luke. Now.
Now for there am I as once you thought - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Who said it was Luke?
Charlie Decker - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Wait, HOW many comments are on this one?!!!!?!!! Good Christ, you two are popular!
EmiLoca - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
*twirls lock of hair cutely* And of course, the blessing and curse of being the most popular teen girl on AmIRight is the continual plague of odd, riddle-my-ass commentees craving for a little attention.

Of course you're Luke. I can tell by your shoe size.
Charlie Decker - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't get it. Odd? riddle-my-ass? Attention?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, come on Luke, your name riddles are just LAME.
...
...
...waiiiiit a minute! IIIII'm Luke! IIIIII couldn't have done those LAME riddles-me-deez, it must be TJ back for revenge! ...or Ben, getting thrills from cryptic puzzles again.
"Clean up, in aisle HIS PANTS."
This Now For Is That Which Celebrate Ending - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Take another guess who this is... You've yet to get it.
EmiLoca - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
His pants? 8919 161141716? If I give up, will you? It's Spring Break. There's no way I'm going to think this hard during SPRING BREAK.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, from your first comment I assume you know EmiLoca. Or are just really MEAN. Your loggings in are generally around 4pm and midnight , with a 10am to throw us off your scent. However, a 5pm in Australia shows up as 12 midnight US time, and you could be anywhere in the world.

And seriously, Emi. It's not me. You can analyse every instance that I've used ellipsis... the following word NEVER starts with a capital letter.

PS. I was referring to the way Ben was highly excited to crack my 1492 persona. Excited enough to 'hydrate his khakis'.
EmiLoca - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh. Haha. Khakis, yeah. Hee, funny.

Still devastated with confusion. I'm thinking it might be Ben...the day our mysterious riddeguy commented was the same day I blatantly ignored Aunt Benjamain while he was serving up my strawberry smoothie at Scooters. Figures he'd throw it back in my face. *witheringly superior dirt-off-the-shoulder swipe*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
*witheringly superior sniff*
Hmm, yes. Some folk simply have no idea how to deal with the Emi silent-treatment! (By the way, major hee on calling him 'Aunt'.
...because it makes him seem effeminate.
...and women are inferior to men.)

Drat poop cadoodles, I'm banned from TOTTM just because I ruffled a few feathers insulting an entire race with phrases of derogatory origins. Lucky I didn't mention my stand-up routine on transgender quadriplegic semites...
EmiLoca - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Good gravy, Luke. Looks like you ruffled the feathers right off of the ENTIRE THREAD, and it flew away in embarassment to hide its unsightly lack of plumage.

It must've been pretty bad to scare the ENTIRE THREAD away. God, you thumb dumpster. Way to ruin the lives of all the middle-aged net nerds who have nothing else to do during the day but log on to inthe00s and flirt with one another.

*witheringly superior chuckle as you witheringly superiorly sniff up the dirt that was witheringly superiorly swiped from the shoulder and sneeze*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
*scratching veins* Yo, you gotsumor? I'm gudfrit! I'm gudfrit!
*Ralph Wiggum voice* My head nun is called Witheringly Superior!

Thread. actually. gone? Oh CRAP. CCCCCCRAP! Seems every witty thing I try to do results in chaotic disaster. Well, that's it! I'm going to resort back to angst-ridden-11-year-old-goth poetry.
Stuart McArthur - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
now, Emi, don't be TOO smug - one day even young things like you and Luke may decide to log onto the internet during the day and dabble in a bit of flirting ;-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"Kids these days..."
Stuart McArthur - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
"...babies one minute, flirtatious idle middle-aged net nerds the next..."
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Argh! The scathing wit! It burns!
EmiLoca - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
*applies ice to Luke's...*

Well, SOMETHING has to keep the swelling down!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
*applies ice to Emi's... ego*
Guess Now Again It's Know You Someone Before Here - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I become less and less coherent, don't I?
EmiLoca - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, but my ego is weatherproof and I can expand it in seconds with the use of this foot-pump. *ego swells to enormous size and squashes mystery guest against the wall*
Know Who You Do Now By Is It? - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, you'll have to do more n' that.
EmiLoca - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Ben, you are a total git. You're fired. Goodbye.
Not Ben I'm - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
That one was short. But seriously, I'm not Ben. I don't even know who Ben is. I didn't take th' time to read this all. Or any of it, except your responses to me. I'm pretty.
EmiLoca - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh-ho-ho! Now you're trying to fool me again, eh? BEN. Freaking that's right, lugpocket!

Uhhh. Apricot?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Definitely someone under the age of twenty.
Or someone under the influence...

*considers*
Uhhh. APRICOT?
Apricot - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't know.
Apricot - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, since no one's here right now... *SMOKESCREEN!*
EmiLoca - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Why, you sour little NECTARINE! Fooling us all this time, and having the nerve to blast your fumes in the no-smoking section of the board? Get out, plunger!!
Apricot On Another Board Via-Giant TV Screen appearing Out Of Wall - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
To late, Miss Loca... You'll find I'm already gone... HAHAHAHAHAHA!
EmiLoca - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
*changes channel*
Apricot - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
*unchanges channel*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
*changes from Dior to Chanel*
EmiLoca - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*hides the remote after changing the channel, criticizes Luke for his poor taste in designer brands*
Apricot - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*Has Universal Remote In Other Room. Changes Channel back. PWNED.*
EmiLoca - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*is not PWNED, because you cheated and manipulated us, PLUNGERRR.*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Quit wit' yer leet-speak, lest you're soon get beat, geek!
*shameful display of air-DJ'ing*
EmiLoca - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
And about the space of one hour after another confidently affirmed, saying, "Of a truth this [hot thing] also was with him: for she is a parody author." And Emi said, "Man, I do not know him!" And immediately, while she yet spake, the cock crew. And the Lord turned, and looked upon Emi. And Emi remembered the word of the Luke, how he had said unto her, "Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me at least once". And Emi went out and told the Lord how embarassing Luke was being, and Luke was smitten with the biggest smiting the world had ever seen, so smiteful that it was known hereafter as 'The Brattoni', and there was much rejoicing.

[Luke 22:58-62]
Satan - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeesh, I sent that guy to bring out an apocalypict holocaust of all races, but does he have to make me look bad in the process?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*thinking*
Man, I have talented genitals.
Satan - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
'Bring out'?
'Apocalypict'?
Man, I should've bought a spell-checker instead of wasting my budget on Brattoni's crowing genitals.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*after agonisingly slow reaction time*
OW!!! That smiting really smarts!
EmiLoca - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Who said it was YOUR cock?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Uh, Satan. Duh.
"Git wit' it, grrrrrl!"
*shameful display of finger-clicking and head-bobbing*
Brattoni's Crowing Genitals - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Unhand me, sir!
EmiLoca - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
It's the Holy Word against his, and the Lord sayeth, "Twas not the cock of Luke."

So....basically, you can go home and cry to your mum.
Jeff Reuben - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Emi -- "middle-aged net nerds" Hey waitaminute...bastard =)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't. Mum abandoned me and fled to Alice Springs. (I really, REALLY wish that was just a joke.) *sob*
I must say though, that my nickname (strangely enough, started by none other than Mr Colley) was 'Rooster' because I had 'Le Coq Sportif' soccer gear.
The question thus remains, if 'twasn't my cock, and your leaf looks like it aint concealing anything more than 5 malformed labia, OF WHOM DOES THE CROWING COCK BELONG TO?
Apricot - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
*REPWNS*. Haha, this is edgy and the wording is suggestive of something else.
EmiLoca - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Ironically, my real-world-realtime male companion's nickname is 'Rooster'.

My mum abandoned me in the grocery store one time. Drove off without me. She made me walk 7 miles home in the rain.

Then I got a mom, and everything was okay.

(Not to trivialize your situation or anything, Luke...the above story was merely to compensate for my lack of something meaningful to say.)
Apricot - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Have we ever actually said anything meaningful? I didn't see it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
HEL-LO, Apricot? How can't you find oodles of meaning in the subtle evolution from discussing colours that don't have words that rhyme with them, to blaspheming the gospel for our own amusement?

Emi, would that be because you real-world-realtime companion IS a rooster? Trivialise that.
Apricot - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm still not seeing any significance in any of this. All I see is that we can't stick to one topic, or get an important topic. But then, that's why I love this place.
EmiLoca - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
No. His last name rhymes with rooster, and he also has a cock.

Oh crap, now I've given out too much information. Now you're going to Google 'Muester' and 'cock', find his personal message board, and find some goofy anagram to call yourself while you confuse the hell out of him. He will then commence the breaking-up-age once he sees my cyber-antics, opens all my mail and realizes I'm a liberal.

Then we can get married.
Apricot - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Um... yes?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn, all I found was a Brazilian gay-porn site. Does your friend usually wear green, or heavily-ribbed purple?

'Fran Googamay' it is! I assume you'll like your newlywed massage lotion applied liberally?
EmiLoca - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Google results: 'muester' 'cock'

Did you mean to search for: 'monster' 'cock' ?


I'll get back to you, Luke...sudden change of plans.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
What? You found my website?
EmiLoca - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Nope. Leo's. :-D
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
*seething glare*
*seething glare betrayed by overwhelming urge to smirk*

Well, I guess Leo's IS stitched together by a maniacal doctor.
"www.nutswithbolts.org"
EmiLoca - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, what a turn on!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Your puns are shocking.
EmiLoca - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Are you positive?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
...yes.
EmiLoca - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
In that case, start spreadin' the booze!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't. Virgin.
EmiLoca - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Wait. Are you saying that YOU'RE a virgin, or are you directing 'virgin' at me as an insult?

Either way, you're tacky and I hate you.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, cultural cringe. Down here 'booze' is a venereal disease. So... I guess I meant both.
*gnaws on arm* Mmm. Tacky.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
WOOT! 700th COMMENT! WOOT!
EmiLoca - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Ewwww. Stop Wooting this instant!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh spoot, all this wooting residue will take a while to mop up.
EmiLoca - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
You might as well grab a bucket - I'm off on a 4-day Yorkfling with Charlie D.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Yorkidding, right?
EmiLoca - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Yorjussgelis.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Newsance.
Charlie Decker - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, Luke, I was just reading some of these comments, and I just want to say...uh...f*ck it. (Phone loudly clicks)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
*harpischord*
"These ideas are nightmares for white parents..."
Charlie Decker - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Right idea, wrong album. The correct answer was "I never knew I..." Although to tell you the truth, I didn't realize I was ripping off Marshall until you brought it to my attention (though that phone click must have come from somewhere). Thanks, you've just saved me one copyright infringement suit. Free nose jobs for everyone!
Charlie Decker - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
So let me get this straight. Once I start posting, this Mecca of debauchery and sin dies? Why do things always die when I get involved?!!
Christopher Reeve - April 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the fan letter, bastard.
EmiLoca - April 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm back! Whew, is New York sooooo-per. I got 5 pairs of shoes for $3 in Chinatown, 3 pairs of shoes for $150 at Macy's, and 150 pairs of shoes at Versace for free after holding up the store with a water pistol and a Batman cape.

Charlie, I did not see you ONCE. Unless you were that old man selling blingy watches, or DONALD TRUMP or WAYNE BRADY or TIM CURRY (Because I saw them all and even touched some of them, and that's more than I can say for SOME people).
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
And Mum said I was shallow for believing 'Sex & The City' realistically portrayed the unstoppable forces of a female shoe-shopper in New York. Did you restock your mace at Macy's?
* biacheslapped by Johnny D*

So Charlie was a no-show, huh? Man, what a bustard. What a flea-infested bustard. What a despicable, flea-infested, currently-duct-taped-to-his-basement-wall-with-a-tube-sock-lodged-in-his-­mouth bustard...
Charlie Decker - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Emi: For starters, I had no idea where you were going to be on Friday, and I didn't want to spook your chaperone anyway (I didn't know how long my cover story about being a rabid autograph seeker collecting choir singers' signatures would last). As for Saturday, I really wanted to see you perform, but the fact that I didn't know exactly where and when it would be, combined with the fact that it was raining hard enough for me to start building a yacht in my basement (albeit a small one) combined with the fact that it was my brother's birthday (which I totally forgot) and so my parents expressly forbade me from going downtown combined to make that missed opportunity happen. If it pleases you, I'd be more than happy to comitt ritual Hari Kiri to atone. As for you, Luke, sooner rather than later you're going to learn that you should have killed me when you had the chance. That's not a threat, it's a promise.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
But a threatening promise. (Or is that a promising threat?)
EmiLoca - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
It's all good, Charlie...though I really wish you could've been there to point out the best hole-in-the-wall restaurants in Chinatown, otherwise I wouldn't have mistaken them for holes in the ground, ending up with mouthfuls of boiled shar-pei and lo mein.

I must say, I took a rather large bite out of the Big Apple. I didn't exactly find a worm...worse, I found half of one. Damn it, next time I go there, I'm hiring a tour guide.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
You'll need to hire a private tour of Donald Trump's hair.
It's an all day 'attraction'.
Real Estate Appraiser - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I've got a hot tip! The value of this location is going to plummet through the floor soon. http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/michaeljacksonandpaulmccartney1.shtml is the new place to be. Buy! Buy! Buy!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Bastard.
Tibbygirl - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Real estate makes me think of the man's picture I see on the "SOLD" sign walking home.....he's a very round old man who apparantly donned a tuxedo especially for the occasion of getting his picture taken for the sign, with a tiny little bow tie squeezed under his multiple chins. Good times.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
TIBBYGIRL!
*bear hug*
Long time no see! How you been? Where you been? Why you been? And can you please explain Emi's snobbing-off and not leaving comments any more?
Charlie Decker - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Well it's obvious, old boy, innit? We've gone and scared her off. The Girl is Mine might have been a slight miscalculation on my part. Forgot to carry the 1, as always.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, that, and my attempts at googling her sock sizes.
Charlie Decker - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Which would have been OK, if you hadn't come up with size 23...
Tibbygirl - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke, it's time to let go of me now. Trust me.........there is nothing on this earth that could scare Emi off. Nothing. Not even stalkers who follow her into secret forums and attempt to learn more about her. Not to name names.............Luke.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Let go of you? In the metaphorical sense?
*crotch kneed-chipmunk voice*
I'll let go now...
And come off it Charlie, she wouldn't need to stuff socks THAT big down her bra.
Tibbygirl - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually..............
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, you'd know, wouldn't you, Tibbygirl? (Four commas in a six-word sentence?) *props*
Tibbygirl - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
The perfect opportunity to use the overused phrase: There are three kinds of people, Luke. Those who can count and those who can't.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Quote from my friend Scott in Year 7: "So what's the other kind?"
EmiLoca - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Quote from my sister Katie, also in Year 7 - "There's only one kind of person in the world - the kind that can't count."

"Katie, that isn't how you're supposed to tell it."

"But it's twice as funny!"
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow. Your sister sounds hot.
Tibbygirl - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Hit on girls in your own damn country.
Crowd - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Oooooo...........
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Say, Crowd, that's a sexy 'Oooooo' you got there.
EmiLoca - April 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Year 7, as in her seventh year of LIFE, you ped...paedo...pseudopod... gew.

Ooooh, snap.
Tibbygirl - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Maybe he's really a seven-year-old. Ooooooo. And maybe, maybe, he's not from Austrailia. For all we know, he could be a fat old man from Russia. *gasp*
EmiLoca - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
No, he's from Australia. I know this for sure, because when I took the government flight over there this morning, looked at his picture, found the bastard and shot him from a telephone booth, nobody cared.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
That's because we have tourists here with cameras all the time.

*ngar-ru!* (Yes. I actually went and got the close equivalent of 'swish' in one of the 17 Aboriginal dialects spoken in the area.) And what's wrong with me commenting on the thermal radiance of others?
EmiLoca - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
...crap. Over here, taking someone's picture results in a 500 dollar fine or a class at the Nebraska Department of Safety called "Defensive Shutter-Clicking for Problem Photographers."
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
It'd be worth it for you.

*universe boos and hurls cabbages*
Tibbygirl - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment
*dials police* Hello, I don't have an emergency. But how are you today? *ensuing conversation results in a lunch date and no fine* Some people just have that "quality." Not you.
EmiLoca - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Wait, was that "not you" directed towards Luke or me? Because the police know me on a personal level, Tibbygirl. I mean, we are like THAT. *twists fingers into a grotesque contortion* And all because the neighbors can't stand a little backyard pyrotechnics at 3 a.m.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
And all because Tamworth Postal employees have a little hang-up about envelopes claiming to contain anthrax...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way, Tibbygirl, are you alluring to my sexual 'quantity'?
*looks down*
Queen Latifah: Mmmmm-hmmmm!
EmiLoca - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Some people just have that quantity. Not you. And I quote:

"Nice one Lorena Bobbitt!!! Can someone help me glue this back on, we're gunn need it for the wedding night!"

I don't think you even agreed to the usage of aforementioned hot dog. Don't flatter yourself, gimpy. :-D
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Are you... um... alluring to the... um... cuz if you... wait, I think I can... ... ... ...um... right, got it!

*pelts rotten mandarins*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Once again, I am sorry about that incident... My cousin is a plastic surgeon, and I'm sure he'd be glad to...you know...for 650 bucks.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
As long as you don't mind the plastic part... (braces for the dildo jokes)
Tibbygirl - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
*waits* They ain't coming from me, sister.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Call me a girl again, and I really will be your worst nightmare. Er...not saying that I am not your worst nightmare anyways...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
The dildo doesn't need braces, silly! Emi's already had that complex V-plates installment!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I have braces. Now I think I regret it.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Anyways, Luke, are you up for the operation? Or do you want Emi to wander off to another man for satisfaction?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmm, a one night stand at the Hotel Re-Wander?
*giraffes sigh*
OK, whip out your surgical equipment and let's get this over and done with.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I told you, it was my cousin. But just a small note of caution: He seems to have a drinking problem. If he starts laughing uncontrollaby, GET OUT OF THERE.
Tibbygirl - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
You know what I think....I think that YWN had the operation many moons ago, which is the reason why he knows so much about the subject. Therefore, I believe that I am not way off in calling you a girl, because at one time you probably were one.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Shut up, Tibbygirl... Or you might just wake up one morning and notice something a bit different.... MUAHAHAHA!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
What? That she's a girl?

*suh-wish*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't know whether you are implying that my threats are empty, or that Tibbygirl is currently a man.
Lee um... Neeson. Yeah, that's right... - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Good Lord, Lucas -- still getting comments on this a year later? That's what I call staying power.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
We're going to be posting until the end of amiright.com, which is exactly eighteen years, seven months, thirteen days, fourteen hours, thirty six minutes, and five seconds away. But until then...it's party time.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
We passed 750 a while back. I'll gladly shut my trap at Comment #1000.
EmiLoca - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
...but eventually, despite the shut trap, you will slowly gnaw away at your leg until it comes loose from the trap, spraying blood and bodily fluids all over us (but namely me, as you aim your squirts at my white-threaded shirt). It's a pleasant image, isn't it?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
It will be a reminder of Emiloca's account of being assaulted by canned fluids*

*June 19, 2004 6:16:27 PM
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
IYou know I'd NEVER drip my blue blood over your shirt, dear. As for squirting bodily fluid... well, I can hardly control sneezing, can I?! How much time did you spend sifting through old messages to find that thermos reference, YWK?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, I spent about five seconds. I decided to look for the place where Emi talked about getting hit with a thermos, so I dragged the scroller on the right side of the screen really high, and there it was. Some of us just have a knack. :)
Your Worst Nightmare - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I feel that the perpetual conversation is dying off. If only we were as insane as we were last summer... I'll have to do something drastic.

(shakes up a warm bottle of NecroDew and opens it up to spray it all over Emiloca)

Emi has a habit of getting drenched, apparently.
Charlie Decker - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Geez, stay away from this parody for a couple weeks and I miss...well...nothing at all I suppose, save for some imagery that I could have done without. Thanks guys, you're the best :-P
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh. If you turn your head sideways, Charlie, your typo of random punctuation at the end of your previous message looks like a smiley face sticking his tongue out. You should market that idea, although I'm not sure how popular smiley faces could be on the Internet...
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(turns his head sideways) I could see it, but only after several minutes. Trust me, nobody would go for that. I have Kirby as my witness.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
My Kirby did not show up! Let me try to summon him again. If he does not appear, I will sue Chucky G.

Here he is:
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Disgusting. I am definitely suing. Then I am going to sue Charlie Decker for provoking me to attempt to summon the aforementioned parties. (The parties already going on had no good snacks, and it totally sucked.) Luke will be charged with guilt of association.
EmiLoca - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
My shirt is wet.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
And I will sue whoever made EmiLoca's shirt wet. I will also sue the manufacturers of the shirt, and the store that sold it. If anyone recommended it to you, I will sue them too. I will also sue the shirt itself.
EmiLoca - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Or you could just get me a towel and drive away all these crazy rednecks clawing at my sogginess.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, uh, sure. (hands EmiLoca a transparent towel) No problem.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Rednecks clawing at your sogginess... for the mental image that propped up immediately after reading that, I banish thee to four minutes in a dryer. With a towel.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
The true purpose of towels is to wave down spaceships while hitchhiking. Now, I wouldn't be too picky, seeing as you can only survive thirty seconds in space with a lungful of air, but Vogons are very unpleasant people. They will throw you off the ship as soon as they find you, and worse, they may even try to read you poetry. (It is a widely known fact that Vogons have the third worst poetry in the universe.)

Wait, what were we talking about again?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Penguins.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, yes. What a curious species, those penguins. They remind me of penguin pie, which reminds me of Star Trek. I don't like Star Trek, and neither do I like penguins, so don't force your beliefs on me! I've got a bottle of NecroDew and I'm not afraid to use it!

Speaking of NecroDew, we're almost out. Where is Apricot's van?
??? - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Geez...almost a thousand comments and only four votes? Whats up with that??
Your Worst Nightmare - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS. Have some NecroDew.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
"Chauncey Gardner, neminem, Mikaela and Your Worst Nightmare are cordially invited (BYO cordial) to the wedding of Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) and EmiLoca to be held once I've finished all my High School Certificate work. The venue will be the point exactly between New South Wales Australia and Tennessee USA. If this turns out to be somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, so be it. Well, I'm off to get my gaudy Turquoise sequinned jumpsuit tailor made whilst my rural jackaroo associates get those gleaming stallions for my boots."
--- Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni)
I trace the beginning of the perpetual RPG/chatroom to Luke.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Of course, Luke wrote the parody anyway, so I suppose that, technically, it would lead to him anyways. With the same mindset, you could say ultimately that Chucky G started it.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I remember Luke telling me that his parody "Luke Yourself" did not show up on his parody author page, but after doing several searches, the parody has been taken off the AmIRight site. I imagine Luke requested it be taken off, a bad beginner's parody. Was it really that bad? If you did request it be taken off, did you e-mail Chucky G or what? I might want to get rid of some embarrassing songs myself.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You talk too much. Give us a chance to butt in, here! I had a heap more votes but they all got wiped in the ol' Wipe of Something the Twenty-Somethingieth last year. I think 'Luke Yourself' is under the author 'Jake A. Ralphing' ... note the period after the 'A' which the computer categorises as a different author name.
? - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Why are there so many comments on here? Isn't there a chatroom or something?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
This is a chatroom...sort of.
who cares what my name is - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
That's sure what it seems like. >roll eyes< I wish there were more votes on here...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Me too.
*sob*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Last comment I made before I stopped commenting for several months: "Oh no...she's out." June 23, 2004 6:39:29 PM
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Come on guys! Let's claw our way past the 800 comment mark!
*Luke claws, Santa Claus*
Charlie Decker - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Getting close to the 100 parody mark as well, eh, Luke? Happy happy!
On a different note, I think I finally learned how to write things on different lines in this stupid comment box!
Charlie Decker - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I did?!?!

Oh joy of joys!

Oh rapture!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't get spaced out.

I'm still working on things like bold and italics. Or is that meant to be italics?
I dunno.

Hey, I am nearing 100! I've given up working on 'Wookie Nerds' to Eminem's 'Mocking Bird' and will get back to the Shaven, which is located in my bag, my bedroom, the theatre, under my bed and in the garbage, I'm a very unorganised writer.
Tibbygirl - May 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh lordy.....we've been keeping this up for OVER A YEAR NOW! Why was there no celebration? *post-anniversary dance*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke forgot to get Emiloca an anniversary present, and she got pissed off. Then Emiloca remembered she didn't get him anything either so he got pissed off at her for being pissed off at him. Then she got pissed off at him for being pissed off at her for being pissed off at him because he should be relieved, but when she told him that, he got pissed off.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 19, 2005 - Report this comment
...oh. Um, due to our differing time zones, daylight savings and something to do with leap years, it is officially the one year anniversary from NOW!
*official anniversary dance*
Tibbygirl - May 20, 2005 - Report this comment
*busts a move switching from post- to official anniversary dance* Ow.....ow.......OWOWOW!!! Just leave it alone!!!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 20, 2005 - Report this comment
A lame excuse, eh? Your long distance relationship will never work that way.

....And it totally pisses me off.
Charlie Decker - May 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Happy anniversary, lovebirds, and also an early congratulations to Luke on parody #100! Mazel tov!

Hey, Luke, I'll race you to 1000!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
That's like a race between The Artist and The Hair-brain, Charles.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, are you, uh, still counting? In that case, where are we at now?
Tibbygirl - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
It will never end......we will all be in our sixties, sitting at crappy computers, and Emi and Luke will still be planning their wedding..."honey, i don't think i can make it up the steps of the horse-drawn carraige with my arthritic knee....." (for the record, that's Emi talking)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
We've passed 800 comments, but Charlie was talking about how I'm nearly at 100 parodies.
"Never mind, dear, you know how the law prohibits heterosexual marriage nowadays. I guess Turquamarine, '&' and Domino will be bastard Siamese-triplets forever..."
Your Worst Nightmare - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(Through an unexplainable turn of events, YWN involuntarily suddenly interrupts with a double non-sequitur)

Has anyone else seen the new Star Wars movie? I've got this Elton John song stuck in my head.
Tibbygirl - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
No; Maybe you deserve it.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
The acting had little emotion, but overall it was pretty good; NO ONE deserves that.
Tibbygirl - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm glad you thought so; Elton John deserves that.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Woah, I leave the room for a moment and you two are already acting like a married couple.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
So are you going to see it?; Elton John is probably laughing at us right now.

Luke, I do recall, oh, about exactly one year ago that you tried to set me up with Tibbygirl. And it ain't happenin'.
Tibbygirl - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Why, YWN? I really really love you. We would make such a great couple. I know I've acted like I hate you for this past year but that was merely suppressing my undeniable urges towards you. My heart groweth faint whenever your text graces my computer screen, I fall weaketh at the knees whenever you bicker with me about trivial crap. Be mine, Your Worst Nightmare, for you are my dreamboat!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Tibbygirl, that was entirely 'emo'.
And I so didn't just type it under you name as a cheap stab at you...

Quote from me - June 06, 2004. 9:30:59 PM:
"The sad thing is there are only 8 votes compared to sixty comments."

*glances at 8 votes*

*glances at over 800 comments*

*sigh!*
Your Worst Nightmare - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Wait, so that last Tibbygirl comment was actually Luke pretending to be Tibbygirl? Tricky.

Trivial indeed. Mental looping Elton John songs, Star Wars, and the like are very serious.
Tibbygirl - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Um, excuse me.....there were numerous things wrong with that little imitation of me.I don't use the word "dreamboat." And I will see it, eventually; Elton John probably got too furious reading the comments about heterosexual marraige plans to get down this far.
Tibbygirl - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
OK, that lameass imitation of me above commenting on how lameass the previous imitation was... is lameass. Nevertheless, I LOL at my previous message!
Tibbygirl - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Um.....that was clever, fake imitator.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Look at me, I'm a big doo-doo! Blah blah blah blah blah. i just can't shut up about Emi! Blah blah blah blah blah. Look how stupid I am! Ow! Stop hitting myself! Ow! Stop hitting myself!
Tibbygirl - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Imposter!!! Show us your TRUE nature!!!!
Tibbygirl - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah....I know who you are. You thought you could fool me, eh? Thought I wouldn't realize it? I'm too smart for you, Elton John.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
This is honestly more insane than even last summer. I have no idea who is who. I mean, when Luke calls himself a doo-doo, how do I know if it is him or not? Maybe he has low self-esteem!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
And when I come here and find someone writing under my name, things get even more confusing!
Tibbygirl - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, two can play at that game!
Tibbygirl - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay, I am officially confused. Because last night, at 1:01:56 am I was in bed after a crazy night of "extreme dance partying." I have a message for my evil twin....if you're trying to play me, at least read the script first.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL I'm so confused I don't know anything because I'm stupid!!
EmiLoca - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I haven't even visited in a fortnight and I'm confused even more!
Your Worst Nightmare - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Haha, that was actually me who was impersonating, uh, myself. I thought it would be fun.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, it was.
Tibbygirl - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
You know, there's a point where it's just not funny anymore. You've reached the point. Why, as a matter of fact, it wasn't even funny in the first place.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
*big Tibbygirl eyes*
You meanie, you're not my friend anymore.
Tibbygirl - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
The truth hurts, my ex-friend.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
We must...stop...the...imposternation... The imposternators are evil... They want to destroy our...values....

The...imposternators have...misunderestimated me...
Tibbygirl - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
What is with the ....'s???? Losing breath? Body being mentally taken over by the imposters? Spontaneous need?
Your Worst Nightmare - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
No...I...just like to....talk....funny....
Tibbygirl - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Good reason. In other words, you choose "spontaneous need."
Tibbygirl - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
And to appease you, Luke, I gave you a vote.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
*chanting like a class of preschoolers*
Thaaankyooou Misssss Tibbygiiirl!
EmiLoca - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Wahoo! I'm finally back from my stupid, too-long vacation that was only supposed to be a weekend. In the van, I began work on 3 new parodies that should be *finally* appearing on the site within a week or so.

That said... *commences to smack Luke, TibbyGirl and Her Worst Nightmare with an arctic salmon*
Your Worst Nightmare - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I like salmon.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Welcome back, Emi! That said...
"Waitress, I ordered tantalising hints over a week ago!"
Tibbygirl - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Even I know I didn't do anything bad enough to get fish-slapped.
EmiLoca - June 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Flibbertigibbet! That said...

...NOT TONIGHT HE DOESN'T!!!...

...come...

...in the night...

...Trogdor.
Tibbygirl - June 03, 2005 - Report this comment
*nods intelligently* *actually, nods to give the impression of intelligence*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 03, 2005 - Report this comment
*throw baby*

Sorry, it's always been Leisure Suit Larry to me:
*touch breasts*
"Try it and I'll blow your brains out."
*I think she's referring to her gun, Larry!*

*places nodding Tibbygirl on dashboard*
Tibbygirl - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
*nods to avoid responding to Luke's comment*
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
*stops nodding and wonder where everyone went*
Everyone - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thailand. It was a magical holiday.
Apricot - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Heehee, I love leaving and then coming back.
Agrimorfee - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
After 1 year and a month past the initial comment, I have now read this legendary parody, and can unarguably rate it a 555. Now I have to read those Faulkner novels that everyone tells me are classic....
Tibbygirl - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Excuse me, but no one informed me of this majestical trip to Thailand. I'm feeling a tad excluded here.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Apricot! Thanks Agrimorfee!
*looks around the rest of the room*
Nope, I don't think I've excluded anyone.
Tibbygirl - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Why, great Scot, I i do seem to have developed the power of invisibility!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment
As opposed to Emi, whose parodies have simply disappeared off the face of the earth.
Earth - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey! Get offa my face!
Apricot - June 14, 2005 - Report this comment
The Earth is TALKING? :o
Earth - June 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Of course not, you idiot! As if the Earth could talk! I'm just typing.
Tibbygirl - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, there it is kids! You heard it first, right here on amiright.com. The Earth can indeed type. Our suspicions have been right all along!
EmiLoca - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I hope you don't mind, Earth, but a few of my parodies are coming in for landing on - you guessed it - your face. Turns out that landing them on your ass resulted in minimal exposure to the public (and no one wants to look at your ass anyway, fatty), so I've opted for my original decision.

Wait, what are you doing? Stop that this instant! I told you, the president said there's no such THING as global warming, you can't fool me! Ha! Ha-ha!
Mars - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Can you tell your pets to shut up, I'm trying to orbit!
Interplanetary Police - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Mars, get a life!...I mean some life
Earth - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
No such thing as global warming, my ass! How dare you lower life forms speak to me in this manner! You can just take this melting ice flow and shove it up your parody!
Uranus - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, I had to be said.
Neptune - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Uranus, how do you do that? talk out of yourself, I mean
Earth - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Ha ha, sucks for you!
Pluto - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Can you guys speak up? I can't hear you.....
Sun - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Whaddaya mean you're my father?
Charlie Decker - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wait, this song is actually nominated for this contest? Are you serious? Jesus H. Christ. Just...Jesus Christ. How many more signs of the apocalypse can there be?
hacker - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I just like spam! I'm collocting junk email...
Red Ant - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) This needed comments, Luke? Okay, I shall add mine, knwoing that it will be buried under a sea of comments anyway. TOS is awful, but this is quite good. 555. I now return everyone to their normally scheduled chatter.=)
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I.....what......huh? I seem to have gotten lost somewhere in the great universe of these last three comments. I was not aware that our clever "normally scheduled chatter" was going to be interrupted. As a matter of fact, I was very much enjoying the Milky Way conversations. Whatever shall we do now.....
Adagio - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) DKTOS
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
What sort of planet name is Adagio?
Adagio - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke, the planet Adagio exists in a surreal mist of subconciousness. ;)
Melhi - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(H) Submitting this to attract more comments is like Bill Gates panhandling for loose change. ;)
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Your mom lives on Adagio. *oooo....snap* That was the sound of your ego breaking.
Agrimorfee - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Yer just puttin' this here to win the award of Parody With Most Comments Ever, aren't ya. hehheh.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
How do you expect him to get a drink from a soda machine with hundred dollar bills? Thanks, all, except for... no, that appears to be everyone...
Tibbygirl - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Congratulations on the correct use of the word "all." Indeed, it would cover everyone. Nice going.
EmiLoca - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh my gawd, you actually submitted this into the ABC contest?!? (By the use of the word 'gawd', my IQ has dropped approx. 15 points. By the time I've finished watching Napoleon Dynamite, I will be a cucumber.)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Great, I've been meaning to replace this hotdog for a while, it's getting all mouldy.
Tibbygirl - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmmph. There it is.
hacker - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I just like spam! I'm collocting junk email...
EmiLoca - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Just as I am collocting junk on my hotdog as we speak. No cucumber will ever replace Frankie, nor will the letter "u" ever interfere during the spelling of the world "moldy" so long as I am the subject of this parody!
*winces as Luke begins work on 'Hittin' on Dem Al Roker'*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Nor shall omitting the letter 'e' interfere during the spelling of 'collecting'. Or is that an omission of 'a' from 'collocating'?
...
*begins work on 'Hittin' on Dem Al Roker'*
Tibbygirl - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
It's about time you two started acting like a real married couple. Sharing ideas, empty threats, wincing.... ah, have the good times begun.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Wasn't your last line a question.
EmiLoca - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
What's it to you. Consider this - it's COOL to use improper punctuation over here?!?!?!
Tibbygirl - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
i AM a RebEl. I dO wHat I pleASE?.!
Tibbygirl - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
How do you like them apples.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
!
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above, using Hubble Space Telescope.
Tibbygirl - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, I see through this telescope that I have rendered you completely speechless and only able to perform simple shift-1 manuevers.Your welcome, all.
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm about to go out for chinese food, Emi. Want anything?
Rick C - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Great job Luke!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks JD and RC!

And what the meshuggeneh?! I spent about twenty minutes typing out this intricate paragraph of words made up of keyboard symbols... a little more intricate than 'Shift+1'.
Tibbygirl - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Drat, back to his normal self.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Pfft. 'Normal'.
Tibbygirl - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
You're right, it was an error on my part. I apologize. Please scratch my "normal" comment and replace it with "undoubtably abnormal."
EmiLoca - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
*equips Wolverine claws and attacks "normal" comment*

Wait a second...there are no NORMAL comments to be found in the entirety of this parody comment area!!!
Dee Range - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(H) Good job, Luke. And quite a THread you have going here! True cyber lust?
Stuart McArthur - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(H) psst, Luke - there's a song up there ^ - no, way, way, WAY up

just think - there was a moment in time where your finger was hovering over the "Disable Comments" key - and the world as we know it would have ceased to exist - nice bit of flirting Luke
Scathe - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-H) I honestly have nothing clever or intelligent to say about this.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, Emi, I think the area #423-#426 is perfectly normal, thankyou very much!
Thanks Dee Range, you word wizard, you.
Oh Stu, you know they just would've taken the wheelchair ramp.
Scathe: have you ever?! ;)
EmiLoca - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Great. Now you just made me scroll all the way up (that took an extra 5 minutes out of my day) and count all the way down to comment 423.
Or was that 323?
*grumblecakes*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
...I was only joking. But now YOU just made ME scroll all the way up and count all the way down to #323 and then to #423 and see if they had any bearing to the initially intended meaning.

They didn't.

Got any grumbledip?
*munches*
MysteryGoat - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Have to say, I've always loved this song. Aside from the excellent subject matter, the wording is genius. And I gotta admit, Emi is just plain fine!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Mmm-hmm, I hear ya there, brutha!
Arwen - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--Infinite 5s, just for the longevity of this little bastard...=) I really did like it when you first wrote it, too...
2nz - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I honestly have nothing clever or intelligent to say... ever. It's hard to make an 'in' parody appealing to everyone, but that's not really the point then is it. You left Emi speechless (although 400-something comments would beg to differ) so this thing here was a success, Luke. And 'wish I had a super-soaker' will always make me laugh.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen and LOL 2nz. Whoopee, we've nudged the counter over 900 comments. It would be a reeeaally nice 18th Birthday Present to have 1000 comments on the 13th of July, ya know...

*UTTERLY INCONSPICUOUS VIOLENT NUDGING OF EVERYONE'S RIBS WITH ELBOW*
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
oh sure, like...
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
you can manipulate...
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
us into satisfying....
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
your every whim, Luke!
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
d'OH!!!
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
900+ comments and not a SINGLE ONE by ME? Can't have that...Uh...ummm....err...ah, yeah...DKTOS...mighty long thread, heah, y'all ~ ~ ~
Tibbygirl - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Now Luke, let's not let this success go to your head.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu. ;D
Thanks for the Waltzing Ma~s, Paul!
Hey Tibbygirl, you've probably accounted for about 20% of this success, so you can be a partner or something.

Yeesh, I hope Emi doesn't read that.
Tibbygirl - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Well if we get enough comments in here before she decides to read this, she'll skip over to the bottom and then say something witty and emi. I say 'emi' like one would use the word 'emo'. And that partnership shinidig we're trying to fly over her head.....yes I am most definitely in. 100%. You got yourself a deal, mate.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Good-O, I'll just place your signed contract ontop of her one for 40% of the partnership and we can be off sailing the partnerseas!

And stop saying 'mate'. Now.
Tibbygirl - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
But I am an American, and being so therefore guarantees me the right to use whatever language from whatever country I want. It's part of the bonus of being such a melting pot of cultures. Where white Europeans are the main ingredient.
Tibbygirl - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
*whips out her portable automatic external defibrillator and applies it to Conversation, in a futile attempt to revive it*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
We need 500cc of substance.
Stat!
EmiLoca - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
You know, you never really appreciate those pagan rituals until you find yourself alive and traipsing around like you haven't even been dead for two months.
Tibbygirl - July 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn Emi. If you died, you could have just asked me for my magically portable automatic external defibrillator and i would have gladly lent it to you. That is, before you died and after you knew you were going to die. After all, what else could friends possibly be for? ;)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Kissing practise?
Nice to have you back, Emi! Tibbygirl was getting all emo on me...
Tibbygirl - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Shut up, or I'll send American troops after you.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Why not before?
Tibbygirl - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
We are doing everything in our power to WIN THIS WAR....next question please...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
*straaaaaiiiin*
*efforrrrtttt*
Must... not... laugh... at... something... Tibbygirl... has... said... AHAHAHAHAHA!!! That was Luna Lovegood FUNNY!
EmiLoca - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke.
You see that chair?
No.
That's a futon.
See, that one.
That chair...
Hit yourself over the head with it. Now.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
*re-affirms marriage vows*
EmiLoca - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Fine, we'll do this the hard way.
*smacks joo upsyd da head, bish*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
*gnaws lower lip sensually*
Well, it's certainly not soft...
EmiLoca - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
*gnaws upper lip ravenously*
You're right. I ordered my lips medium rare. I demand a refund!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree, her lips look far too common to be medium rare!
T.J. Spindler - August 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Still not done? Damn...Good luck with 1k posts *wonders about you getting a medal from Johnny D for that*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I dunno, T.J. Would Johnny REALLY give you a medal for that? ;)
Tibbygirl - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I doubt he'd want to shell out for one.
EmiLoca - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, if he ever did "shell out", he wouldn't post it all over the internet...:-/
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes he would, giving it as many blatant euphemisms as possible so that people all over the world googling 'pepper shakers', 'spam' and 'Will that be a 6-inch or a footlong?' will be directed to his site.
EmiLoca - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
What a Quizno.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, of course, but what does a Subway?
Tibbygirl - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Emi is a Blimpie. (okay, perhaps that was going too far....i doubt they have Blimpie's in Austrailia anyway)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
We don't have either, I had to Google Quiznos and Blimpies. And since THAT isn't local either, I had to WebWombat Yahoo to Yahoo Google.

Eat my Schlotzsky's.
Tibbygirl - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
And if I don't want to?
Johnny D - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
"WebWombat" ?????????
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Exactly. If you don't want to, Tibbygirl...
WEB. WOMBAT.

IN INVERTED COMMAS.


...FOLLOWED BY LOTS OF QUESITON MARKS.
Tibbygirl - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I think I choose.....WebWombat. Less questionable, even if followed by the marks of a question.
EmiLoca - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
TibbyGirl, your insults are so SUB-STANDARD...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Subway jokes are so last week, Emi.
Tibbygirl - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm sorry Luke, but it seems that the grapevine is in a slightly different time zone than in our great United States. You see, "so last week" went out about ten years ago.
EmiLoca - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Master Brattoni, you have been outwitted by a TibbyGirl. Goodbye.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
But... but... I was being literal... hey, come back... I can be witty, too... look.... um,... "talk about sour grapes!" ...no, hang on, I can do better... please, just one more try... uh... uh... uh... "the 'great' United States? THAT is so ten years ago"... argh! No, come back, I know I can do better *adopts Idol rejectee face* pleeease, I'll prove myself, I won't let you down... no, get these security guards off!... No!... NOOO!... I WANT TO LIVE!!!
EmiLoca - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
*reminiscent ha-has of suicidal sushi*

Okay, Luke. One more lameass literal crack like that, and the ring comes off and the brass knuckles come on.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like your calendar's entered the crimson squares... suicidal sushi indeed.
*eyes water from straining to contain smirk*

Hey, it wasn't literal! It wasn't literal!
Tibbygirl - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Fight! Fight! Fight!
EmiLoca - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Sit! Down! Now!
EmiLoca - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Ohhhhh snap.

"Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 9:35:41 PM - Report Inappropriate Comment We passed 750 a while back. I'll gladly shut my trap at Comment #1000."

Mmmmmm-hmmmmm! Snap snap snap snap snap!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
^ Garghg! Don't DO that! You gave me a Comment #1000 heart-palpitation for nuthin'!

*reclines on sofa, fanning self all a-flutter*
Tibbygirl - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Maybe I should whip out that portable automatic external defibrillator thing again.
EmiLoca - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
*unfolds the fold-away bed from sofa, ruining Luke's reclination by nearly 80%*

"Ha, ha, now you can't recline." - Month-Old Trash
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Shut up, Fibbrygirl!
*turns fan towards Emi to give her a long, sensuous blow*
Tibbygirl - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
You know what, this is not a place for that sort of chit-chat. I don't want to hear about what you two do behind closed doors, or on fold-away beds.
EmiLoca - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Fine, Luke, let's move to the vibrating swivel chair.
Alfred The Butler - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good, Madame. Will you be requiring the special Sybian-Adapter for young master Luke?
Tibbygirl - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
They won't be requiring anything. Because I am personally going to painfully contort their bodies into two seperate duffel bags and place them on a conveyer belt for airport security to take care of.
EmiLoca - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
*calls airport security* One vibrating swivel chair and a Sybian-Adapter, please.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 23, 2005 - Report this comment
*eye-bulge from the security guy at the airport as explicit skeletoniness passes through x-ray machine*

MINUTES LATER...

"So, trying to smuggle out undeclared quantities of maple syrup using your bodies, huh? Well, we'll just see what else you've got stashed away in there... spread 'em, you two! Tibbygirl, get those defibrillators ready..."


PS. Thanks for making me google-search what Sybian products were whilst dozens of students passed behind me.
Your Worst Nightmare - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Holy crap, you guys are still at it after over a year? I must say that I admire you. Let's celebrate with Necrodew! (throws thermos at Emiloca for nostalgia's sake)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
*thermos hits Tibbygirl*

Tibbygirl: Ow! How'd that get through security?




..."THEIR FRIEND!!!"
Your Worst Nightmare - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, Tibbygirl... Could you throw that at Emiloca for me?
Dr. Evil - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Throw me a frikkin' bone here, people ... I'm the boss ... need the IN-FO ...
Dr. Evil's son - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
But Dad, there is no--
Dr. Evil - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Sshh!
EmiLoca-Cola - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
PSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssst...............
Dr. Evil's son - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
But you don't--
Dr. Evil - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.
Dr. Evil's son - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(takes a deep breath) ThisisjustaRickyMartinspoofthreadgoneoutofcontrolyou're--
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
“You just…don’t get it, do you Scott?” said Hairy.
“Scott? Who’s Scott?” asked Rum.
“Silence! I will not tolerant insolence!” yelled Hairy, stroking Crackskanks in his lap.
“Uh…” uttered Hormoany slowly, opening her mouth to speak.
“Zip it!” snapped Hairy. “… um, isn’t that from-” began Rum.
“Zip yer lip, pip!” snapped Hairy. “Ayo, I’m X to the Z and it’s time to flip it, your lips should make like my pseudnoym and X… Zipit!” he rapped lamely.
“Hairy,” grimaced Hormoany, in clear agony. “You’re already ripping off-”
“Shut your mouth!” sang Hairy loudly.
“Oh no, not Shaft…” she cringed, burying her face into her hands.


And finally I have evidence for a joke I have been parading about since I was 12: that 'cola' is actually the plural of 'colon'. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=colon
Loca-Cola - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
You give me a bad name.
Dr. Evil - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
There once was a land called shh! Where...people lived in a bush! Never mind! Shh!
Tibbygirl - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Well take my hat and crown yourself king.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I take it your hat is a crown, then.
Tibbygirl - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh my....do you have superhuman powers of deduction?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
6 - 2 = 7

Nup.
Tibbygirl - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice try, though. Excellent form.
EmiLoca - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent formula.

Baby Formula l + x^2 = baby
Kevin - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, TibbyGirl, do you have an answer for me yet?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Kevin? I just scrolled this whole thread looking for your question. Are you KaviR, cuz otherwise I have NO HIDE EAR what you are on about.

LOL on the baby formula. I suppose x^2 is the new orgasm smiley...
TibbyGirl - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Someonetellmewhatisgoingonhere.
Lake O Verflowing (Juke Box Toni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
NothingisgoingonheresaidOdysseustothefrikkinCyclops
Tibbygirl - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thatsverycleverandwellandgoodbutidontthinkitsveryhelpfulthanksforplayinggo­odbye
Tibbygirl - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I could do something very cruel. And it involves 8 comments. But I wont.
Kevin - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, TibbyGirl...x^2 x^2 x^2
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
^ That's it, no more asparagus before bedtime for this little camper.

Who the flaming meshuggenah is Kevin and waht question did he ask Tibbygirl? Is Kevin actually just Tibbygirl pretending, due to the suspiciously close timing of her reply above? And would Tibbygirl have the brainpower required to strin gtogether 'Lake O Verflowing (Juke Box Toni)'?
Tibbygirl - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't have any inkling as to if Kevin is really Kevin or if he's Emily. If he's Emily then I may be a little worried, because Kevin appears not to realize that he is really a girl. If Kevin is Kevin then I'm officially freaked out because....because....that wouldn't make sense. I think he's Emily. In a sense. Yeah. Maybe?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
^Ooookayyyy... no more asparagus for THIS little camper, either.
Tibbygirl - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't even like asparagus. So there.
Kevin - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I asked TibbyGirl to homecoming, and this is the only way I can confrotn her. Well?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
YOU, good sir, are a MASS LOSER.
And this is coming from the author of this parody, so that's even more GEW than usual.
EmiLoca - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
It was me, okay? This was Emily messing with JAMIE (that's right, I'm using your REAL NAME, bi-yatch, thanks for blowing my cover once again).

Asparagus on you both.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
And JAMIE is actually just EMI using a German accent, JA?

...Kevin asked Tibbygirl to homecoming? Hope he wiped the cheese off his wheels first..
EmiLoca - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny you should mention that. At the moment, he IS physically disabled (and mentally, too, if you want to count his unhealthy obsession over a certain Tibbygirl). She has to help him on the elevator. *snirtle*
Tibbygirl - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Not funny. Not funny at all.
Tibbygirl - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
1007 is a sexy number.
EmiLoca - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes it was. Yes it is.

Oh, and guess what, Alex tweaked the system and he's bringing ME, not some PRISSY G-STRING SAGGYBUTT! Shiggity SHWAT?!?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, Tibbygirl, you deserve much better than Kevin.
I know a certain toilet brush who's available...

Arrgh! We've passed the 1000 mark already! Who was the lucky bastard who got it?
*counts back*
...
...
...KEVIN?!?!?!
EmiLoca - September 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Luke, Toilet Brush moved away in the fifth grade.

All hail Kevin, the Millennial King! In honor of your achievement, we present you with this TibbyGirl to fulfill your h'coming desires.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 04, 2005 - Report this comment
*suh-wishikkins *

Once again you 'h' button is screwing up... (see the Mattering Thread.)
EmiLoca - September 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Here, I'll trade you my malfunctioning "h" for your malfunctioning "r".
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Sue!
Tibbygirl - September 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Since when am I a prize awarded to nonexistent commenters?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Since sinnatti.
Tibbygirl - September 06, 2005 - Report this comment
That was the pitts, Burg.
EmiLoca - September 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Juneau, I think this is getting Raleigh old.
Juneau - September 06, 2005 - Report this comment
You're right, EmiLoca, I'll stop feeding him ageing powder.
EmiLoca - September 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay...sinnatti is long over...
Tibbygirl - September 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Since sinatti is Raleigh dead.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Keep going folks, we're bound to dig through the other side of the world any day now. Hey, we'll end up meeting in the middle!
Tibbygirl - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Nope. Thank you. I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
You're a head? So Emi was lying, you weren't the fire extinguisher after all!*


*This actually makes perfect sense.
Tibbygirl - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Beeep beeep bop a doodle schmoo blop cha. That makes sense too.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, but it's a little TOO clever, if you knwo what I mean. Just stick with one level of dramatic irony next time.
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Beeep beeep bop a doodle schmoo blop cha.* I hear ya., Tibbygirl . LOUD AND CLEAR.

*This actually makes no sense.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
*sotto voce* Shh, we don't want to upset her!
THAT'S THE WAY, TIBBYGIRL. YOU JUST KEEP TRYING.
Tibbygirl - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
You know, I can hear you. You and your so-called "cleverness."
EmiLoca - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
"[blocked]" content="/meta http-equiv(Duration=1.0)">

As long as Tibbygirl can't read the stuff I said up there, we're good...if she can, I'm in deep trouble.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Right. "We're" good. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure it out and I'm just as hypertextually/javascripturally/whatevertheflamingmongoosesystemyouuseder­y-challenged as I was beforehand... *sotto voce* it's programming lingo for having a box with 'blocked' pop up on her screen for a second, right?
Tibbygirl - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
But nothing is showing up.....so by default, TIBBYGIRL TRIUMPHS ONCE AGAIN!!
GAME OVER, EMILOCA! - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
KEEP TRY!
Tibbygirl - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
It's no use.....you are no match for this. *points at self*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank heavens.
Tibbygirl - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, pish posh. Don't look at everything through sexual-innuendo-covered glasses.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
"I demand a refund! These glasses are simply covered in sexual-innuendo!"
EmiLoca - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I JUST HAD THREE MOUNTAIN DEWS. I MUST HAVE A REALLY LOW CAFFEINE TOLERANCE BECAUSE I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
Tibbygirl - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Somehow, caffiene has diminished Emi's intellectual capabilities as well. Let's get her a caffiene IV. I would like to conduct some, erm.....perfectly legal medical experiments.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 18, 2005 - Report this comment
"Wait a minute, we've been manufacturing Mountain Dew as a non-caffeine product since 1988!"
Your Worst Nightmare - September 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Mountain Dew sucks. Where's the NecroDew? I didn't invent the damn drink last year for nothing.

By the way, a certain female member from inthe00s claims she is tired of NecroDew. I was shocked. How can you not like NecroDew? That's insane!
Tibbygirl - September 19, 2005 - Report this comment
You don't even come here anymore. But when you do, feel free to bring along the NecroDew. I'm all for it.
Necrodew - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
*chickussssssssss* fizzzle fizzzzzzle uguguguguguguggggg
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(close asterisk) *
Your Worst Nightmare - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
*sip* Ahhhhhhhh....

.....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Tibbygirl - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
What happened? Has the Necrodew................TURNED ON US ALL!?!?!?!?!?
KaviR - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
i can't believe it, wow.....
EmiLoca - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
KaviRrRrRrrr! *tackles*

NecroDew makes indecipherable comments even more indecipherable. Wearing the wrong prescription of contact lenses makes it, if possible, even worse.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweet sickle of the Soviet, KaviR has entered the building! I thought there was a sudden smell of fish spawn on the breeze, but had simply put it down to Tibbygirl. Please, rest your weary feet and have a glass of our '77 Necrodeaux. You'll have to forgive Emi, she's recently taken to wearing gowns comprised entirely of contact lenses.
Tibbygirl - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Who convinced her to come back? THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE. Tibbygirl is the most amazing person, i know.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Aw, I guess. Good Tibbygirl.
*scratches her behind the ears*
Tibbygirl - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
*purrs*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
...yecch, fleas. Here, have this ball of yarn to keep you company while I go bathe in a chemical shower.
Tibbygirl - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
*unravels ball of yarn and creates a noose*
EmiLoca - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Good kitty! Now play dead!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Three times.

(horrendous mid-nineties Grinspoon reference)
EmiLoca - October 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Nine times. (hilarious Old Wives Tale reference)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Eleven times.

(harrowing honeymoon reference)
Tibbygirl - October 04, 2005 - Report this comment
No times. (killing the moment reference)
The Moment - October 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Thus... thus... thus!

NOW I am dead... now... I am fled.


...


MY SOOOUUUULLLL is in the sky! Tongue, lose thy light! MOOOOON, take thy flight!
Now, die!

Die, die, die, die, die!

....DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Reading these comments backwards makes them seem, if it is at all possible, more comprehensible.

"Cheese, Gromit! Cheeeeese!"
EmiLoca - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
What did...erm....Wallace say to...Gromit? (Hey, you're right, Luke!)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
"Eat sushi. Get smoochy."
-Breathmint advertisement.
Tibbygirlllll - October 07, 2005 - Report this comment
What is Emi's new favorite ad campaign?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 07, 2005 - Report this comment
10 points for Tibbygirl! Join us here on Jeopardy after these short messages...
Tibbygirl - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I always knew I was destined to win a game show......
EmiLoca - October 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Strangely enough, so did I. And I always knew that, upon winning your first ten points on said game show, you would change the spelling of your name by the addition of 4 extra L's.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Tlilblbygilrl does have a ring to it.
Tlilblbygilrl - October 11, 2005 - Report this comment
You have absolutely no idea how long it took me to do that.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 11, 2005 - Report this comment
"What does Luke say after every dismal-looking Paint artwork?"
EmiLoca - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Or 'What does Tlilblbygilrl say after a hot evening of *SENSR'D!*'
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Mmm, those new AA Energizer batteries just keep going and going.
EmiLoca - October 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I'd say she's a B, personally. I did see her in the girls locker room once.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2005 - Report this comment
*three point suh-wish for Emi*

By all means continue this scintillating discussion.
"Oh come on, I was just comparing sizes."
For SIX MINUTES?!
Your Worst Nightmare - October 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(long aggravated sigh)

No, Luke, I'm the walrus!
Tibbygirl - October 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Emi!!! The internet is no place to reveal such personal information. That said....Emi has big feet. And you know what they say about girls with big feet.......wait. That's not right. Or is it?
EmiLoca - October 14, 2005 - Report this comment
No, considering I am not technically a girl.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 15, 2005 - Report this comment
If the shoe fits... urgh- wait a minute, the visual double-entendre I just conjured up after typing that was NOT RIGHT.

I always thought Emi's foot size was relatively small. What does your US ladies size translate to in men's?
Tibbygirl - October 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, personally.....I'm pulling a Brittany Murphy. "I'll never tellllllllll."
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 18, 2005 - Report this comment
...hmm. Fortunately for me, unlike Michael Douglas I can just google a conversion chart within seconds. I was simply using the conversation piece as fodder for you to reply with something witty and entertaining.

Ahem. 'Witty' and 'entertaining.' *pointed stare at Tibbygirl*
EmiLoca - October 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm about a 7, which is a 5 in men's shoe sizes. That's a European 38, ain't it?

Michael Douglas can, in fact, google a conversion chart within seconds. I don't know where you get off. *pointed stare at Luke*
Tibbygirl - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
My shoe is the size of my foot. And I eat your mom's pancakes for breakfast. *pointed stare at Luke's feet*
Luke Brattoni - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
OK, seriously, having to type out 'Jake A Ralphing' for every single one of my thousands of posts is starting to take it's toll on my patience. As is having to type in 'you_think_nib_just_made_this_up' every time I check my mail, with an additional '@yahoo.co.uk' to login in to my numerous other website logins.

Pfft. Yeah, as long as Catherine's there beside him after spoonfeeding him dinner, showing him how the Internet works.

"Mom's pancakes?" AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!
EmiLoca - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, GEW!!!!

(Note: There are only 4 'gew's in this entire comment space, one more specifically a 'gewness', and 5 counting this one. On the contrary, there are 30 mentions of 'Necrodew'.)
Luke's Feet - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Mmmm... maths.
Tibbygirl - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Ummmmm.......baths.
Emi's Mother - October 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Tibbygirl, what are you doing in the shower with Emi?
Luke Brattoni - October 26, 2005 - Report this comment
*gradual crescendo of approaching Brattoni*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoink!
*bathroom door bursts off hinges*
Didsomeonejustmentionlesbianshowersmothernakedfleshgirlshotwatersteamyles­bianactionfleshpashingwetsoapybathinglesbians?
Mrs. Loca - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, hello there. You must've heard me mention lesbianshowersmothernakedfleshgirlshotwatersteamyles­bianactionfleshpash­ingwetsoapybathinglesbians. Unfortunately, it was a hypothetical statement that I was merely suggesting to my daughter's friend for the next time I watch her in the shower.
Luke Brattoni - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
...oh. Well, if that all it was...
*turns and shuffles off dejectedly*
Tibbygirl - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
No.
Mrs. Loca - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Say it again, baby.
Luke Brattoni - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Um, who are you addressing?
EmiLoca - October 28, 2005 - Report this comment
*echoes of gunfire, theatric FWUMP of elderly Loca*

*lick* The world may never know.
Tibbygirl - October 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank goodness.....I was beginning to fear the next weirdly sexual suggestion from her. Now we only have to worry about taking care of Luke.........
Luke Brattoni - October 30, 2005 - Report this comment
*whistles innocently whilst ordering in a FWUMP-resistance mattress*
Tibbygirl - November 03, 2005 - Report this comment
You Aussie pig.
Luke Brattoni - November 03, 2005 - Report this comment
...?

For falling down on something soft, so I don't make a painful 'FWUMP' noise... gee, your dirty mind ran away with you there, Ms Tibbyinns.
EmiLoca - November 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey you dirty mind! Come back with our Tibby!!! And the period you stole from the last mention of "Ms. Tibbyinns"!!!
Dirty Mind - November 04, 2005 - Report this comment
I obviously need to think about my kleptomaniac choices next time. Stealing Tibbygirl and a period? Yurgh!

Here, take your little friend back whilst I have some aspirin to soothe my bloating...
Tibbygirl - November 04, 2005 - Report this comment
GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!! BLARGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luke Brattoni - November 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Um, sometimes I have no... I mean, ... what exactly are you...

...sit down, Tibbygirl. Nooooow.
Tibbygirl - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
You're constantly telling me to sit down.....whyyyy? Maybe you should try telling me to do jumping jacks on my head, because I am sitting down, smart one.
EmiLoca - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Do jumping jacks on your head. Now. (Is that even possible? Who cares? It was your flippin' idea!)
Luke Brattoni - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Now now, Emi, I think flippin' is a little harsh. Jumping jacks on her own head will keep Tibbygirl occupied long enough.

Ahh, finally some together time. And... oh, what's this in my pocket? Gee, it's taking a while to get out... hold on, let me just... got it... *withdraws hand and swiftly taps Emi's shoulder* TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!
*scarpers*
Tibbygirl - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Hold on, hold on. Just let me dislocate my knees, neck and shoulders.....there. Now I can play tag AND simultaneously do jumping jacks on my head!
EmiLoca - November 15, 2005 - Report this comment
*takes advantage of Tibbygirl's dislocation and whacks her on the vertebrae*

Tag, you're dead!
Luke Brattoni - November 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Hahahahaha! It's funny cuz it's dead Tibbygirl.
Dead Tibbygirl - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh &#*$.
EmiLoca - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Hahahahaha!!! It's funny because....oh, sorry, it's not even relatively funny. Even compared to the "NecroDew" thing.
Luke Brattoni - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I know. Ampersand-hash-asterisk-dollar-sign? I thought society had moved on from such mysoginistic sentiments.
Tibbygirl - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
My dog is wearing a holiday sweater.
Your Worst Nightmare - November 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow... Still going. The conversations aren't flowing as smoothly and hilariously as they did last summer though.

Wait, did someone mention Necrodew!?
Luke Brattoni - November 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Like THAT'll get the conversation going.





... *echoing cough*
Tibbygirl - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
*whistling*
Luke Brattoni - November 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh! Well, thank you. I have been working out.
Tibbygirl - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
The End..........
Luke Brattoni - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
IIIII'll say. Just put this puppy down before Christmas or we'll get too attached.
EmiLoca - December 10, 2005 - Report this comment
*brutally euthanizes puppy*
Puppy - December 10, 2005 - Report this comment
"Alas, the hand which feeds us inevitably throttles us."
EmiLoca - December 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Not dead yet, eh?

*stabs repeatedly with sheet of metal*
Puppy - December 12, 2005 - Report this comment
"Now am I dead? Now... am I fled.

...my SOOOOUL is in the sky!
Tongue, lose thy light! Moooooon take thy flight!
Now die... die! Diediedie!!!"
Tibbygirl - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh no, not again.
EmiLoca - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Puppy, sit down. Now.
Puppy - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
IIIII'll say. That kitty needed to be put down quickfast.
Tibbygirl - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I know of a lovely German Shepard that would like to meet you, Mr. Puppy. Just don't say, do, or think anything that he could find remotely offensive, and you'll be fine. Don't breathe.
Puppy - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
*dies*
EmiLoca - January 07, 2006 - Report this comment
FIRST HITTIN' ON POST OF THE NEW YEAR!

Snack on THAT, Trix Rabbitz.
Trix Rabbitz - January 10, 2006 - Report this comment
*snacks*
*on that*
Luke Brattoni - January 15, 2006 - Report this comment
My brother turned 17 today. You can stop slapping your eyeballs in guilt now.
EmiLoca - January 23, 2006 - Report this comment
*hasn't stopped*
Tibbygirl - January 23, 2006 - Report this comment
THAT'S IT. You've crossed "The Line."
The Line - January 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Yep. I'm righty cross now. Mighty righty cross.
Conversation - January 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Boy. I'm getting old.
Luke Brattoni - February 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Mmm-hmm. Yep. Drawing close to stagnant, one could say. Indeed. Uh-huh. Right you are, Harry.
bobpiecheese - February 04, 2006 - Report this comment
And now...what we've all been waiting for...the winner for 'The Parody With The Most Comments'...is...'Hittin' On EmiLoca'! Congratulations, Luke. You should enter this in the 'Amiright in Love' contest.
Tibbygirl - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
My name better be on the friggin' plaque.
Luke Brattoni - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh, this has had enough hundreds of hits without entering that contest.

Nerdy assisant with clipboard graphs: "Actually, sir, the ratio of comments to the amount of individual people who have actually viewed the song is se-" *foot-stomped!*


As for Tibby... *Colgateantiplaque'd!*
EmiLoca - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Luke, I render you LINGUINI.

Come, Tibby, let us feast.
Linguini - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha! That works on so many levels. And sounds sexier and sexier every time you elaborate the syllables with your tongue...
EmiLoca - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Leeeeeen-gweeeee-neeee.

Pardon me, I need to clean off my keyboard.
Luke Brattoni - February 12, 2006 - Report this comment
...as do I.
EmiLoca - February 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Don't you hate it when the home row keys stick?
Luke Brattoni - February 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Who you calling homerow?
Apricot - March 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Aw, hell, I fell waaaaay too far back. I figured this'd've died...
EmiLoca - March 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, that would account for the new Corpse Vomit background.
Luke Brattoni - March 05, 2006 - Report this comment
That's your complexion reflected from the monitor screen, Emi. Honestly, you should get your eyes checked...
Yawn Girl - March 09, 2006 - Report this comment
YAAAAAWN.
EmiLoca - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Checked eyes look terrible with a dotted face.
Sheth - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh, Your Worst Nightmare here, new pseudonym. Thought I'd check up on things, and...obviously I don't have the time to scroll through all these posts that have been made during my absence, I'll just pick up from where I left off, or rather, my memory's interpretation of these events.

Dammit, Luke! Dammit, Apricot! Damn the whole lot of you! You should know bloody (no one's down with the Commonwealth like Sheth is) well by now that I'm not a robot, nor a car, but an unfathomable entity who drifts in and out of reality and distributes unsanitary soft drinks with dubious ingredients. Now I'm afraid I shall have to lock up Tibbygirl in the Iron Maiden or something along the lines of gross punishment which shall perpetuate the interests of disenfranchised unfathomable entities.
Luke Brattoni - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
New contacts, Emi?

Ya know, for an unfathomable entity, you sure have a dorky name... SHETH! *snort*
UNFATHOMABLE ENTITY, BIATCH - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
...shup. >:-{
EmiLoca - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
What wouldst thou deau should we be disenclinedeth to acquiesce your requesteth, Sheth? *wipes saliva drippies from computer screen*
Luke Brattoni - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Indeed. Indeed. Why, if thou wouldst take heed of thou nameth, Sheth, one wouldst assumeth that thine overly-flapping moutheth wouldst Shhhhh!
EmiLoca - March 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Yesth, Sheth, SHTTHHHHTTTPPTTHH!!!!
Luke Brattoni - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I've been using "Sheth" as a euphemism for the past week. Sorry, mate, but your name will NEVER stop being chortleworthy.
Luke Brattoni - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
It's April Fool's Day today.
Ha! Just kidding.
EmiLoca - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
It's not April Fools Day. Shut up.
EmiLoca - April 26, 2006 - Report this comment
...that, or Geography.
Luke Brattoni - April 29, 2006 - Report this comment
*descends*
EmiLoca - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
*low self-worth'd!*
Luke Brattoni - May 02, 2006 - Report this comment
That's it.
*Brokeback-Mountain-flipped-on-yer-stomach'd!*
Tibbygirl - May 02, 2006 - Report this comment
*sigh* i don't get it!?!
EmiLoca - May 06, 2006 - Report this comment
It seems as if Tibbygirl wants in on the action. Well, I guess there's more than one way to consummate a marriage.... *Brokeback-Mountain-led-horse-to-water-and-made-him-drink'd!*
Luke Brattoni - May 07, 2006 - Report this comment
^
*Nadia Comaneci'd!*
Nadia Comaneci - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
*holds up '0' for Luke*
EmiLoca - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
*...children!*
Luke Brattoni - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
*she's alive hi-five!'d*
EmiLoca - May 21, 2006 - Report this comment
5 more days of school! *6 days until summer school!*
Luke Brattoni - May 21, 2006 - Report this comment
#7 days until one week has passed!#
bobpiecheese - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I wonder how long it'll take until all the comments here will stop the page from loading? Or worse, we might get a *site's-crashed!'d*
Luke Brattoni - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
February 32nd, 2005.
In lieu of further comments... - June 07, 2006 - Report this comment
*Spanish Flea interlude*
EmiLoca - June 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Lieu. You mean... LUAU! *shimmies*
Luke Brattoni - June 14, 2006 - Report this comment
*deadened glare*
*regretful smirk*
*sigh* Yes. I mean luau.

Long time, no hola. What, you have a life or something?
In luau of further comments - June 20, 2006 - Report this comment
*Portuguese Flukeworm interlude*
Luke Brattoni - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
There's a 'funny clean jokes' link at the top of the page.
What a paradoxymoron.
EmiLoca - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
There's a cleaning lady dusting the underside of the desk I'm sitting at.
Let's see, do I remember how to do this?
Luke Brattoni - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I forget.
EmiLoca - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Gew.
Luke Brattoni - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
*turns on taps* HA HA HA, WHAT A WHIMSICAL INTERTEXTUAL REFERENCE TO PREVIOUS CONVERSATION, EMI! HA HA HA!
*shhhtshcsjchs, I gave 'him' this link. We're being watched. Just go, I'll give the secret knock at your Inbox later tonight*

HOW ABOUT A CAN OF MOUNTAIN GEW? HA HA HA HA HA
EmiLoca - October 01, 2006 - Report this comment
HA HA HA HA HA.
*commits seppouku*
LMAO
Luke Brattoni - October 01, 2006 - Report this comment
SEPPUOKU WITH AN 'O'.

O, EMI, YOU SO CURHAAAAAYZEH.
I hate you. I hate you soooo much.

SNARFS! SNARFS!
EmiLoca - October 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I <3 my boyfriend! DID YOU KNOW THAT?!! OMG LOL
Luke Brattoni - October 02, 2006 - Report this comment
ROFLMAO!!!!11
EmiLoca - October 02, 2006 - Report this comment
11 = 2 dumass
Luke Brattoni - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Not in Roman numerals, imbeseal.
EmiLoca - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
...has this been...a month of...NUDITY!?!
Luke Brattoni - November 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Only in Hiragana, iddyit.

" 'A month of nudity,' she blurted. But it wasn't good enough to satisfy the professor."
Luke Brattoni - December 19, 2006 - Report this comment
...OR WAS IT???
EmiLoca - December 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Or WERE I?
Luke Brattoni - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Or WELLIAN?
Eric Arthur Blair - January 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Hmm. Julia's a tart. Winston's practically a virgin. Who could I get to play those parts?
Brian The Dog - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
"...you're... you're kidding, right?"
Billy Goat Gruff - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Do I look pregnant, Bree Ahn?
Luke Brattoni - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
...que?
Que: A half farthing - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
que?? eye que? 95 She-Goat: My water just broke! Lukey-Goat: You're kidding!?! Duh!!!- Kid= young goat, kidding= young goating- comprende espanol?????
Stewart P. Doe - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Gin Toga Undid Goy King
Luke Brattoni - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, the first one made perfect sense, but I'm still baffled as to who wrote the anagram for 'kidding= young goating'. I'll assume it's Emi, seeing as Stewart P. Doe is an anagram for 'Drat! Wee spot!'

*pwnxzorro'd*
The anagrammatic Vivian Darkbloom - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
hahaha, so busy anagramming everything, stu-pee-doe *cackles, whilst gyring and gimbling in the wabe*
A Button Liker - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, come on. Stew P. Doe? You could have at least spelled it 'Stuart' so I could have had a chance... (I honestly thought you were calling me a paedophile in Spanish.)

Gyring.
Gimbling.
Wabe.

OK, now you're just making up words so I spend hours trying to solve unsolvable anagrams.
Luke Brattoni - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
...or, after Luke's ego gives in after half an hour, quoting a famous piece of literary brilliance that one should have read by now along with Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and The Cantebury Tales.
Polygraph - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
No way THAT ego gave in after just half an hour! The ego that could capsize a small Japanese whaling vessel? The ego that puts ego back into egomaniacal? The ego that overshadows Churchill's, Tesla's and Nicolas Flamel's (those we're the first three that came to mind) combined?
Luke Brattoni - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Put Emi back on. She was far funnier.
Well, OK, 'funnier'.
EmiLoca - January 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh
Prince William - January 12, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't like this place, anyway; it's full of commoners. 'Life is a well of joy. But where the rabble drink too all wells are poisoned. I am fond of all things clean and have no desire to see the sneering thirsts and smiles of the unclean.'
Luke Brattoni - January 13, 2007 - Report this comment
WAH-HOOPLAH! And Emi scores again!
*rings!*
*rings!*
*rings!*

"The only boy... who could ever teach me... was called Friedrich Nietzche, babe."
Giraffe - January 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, my! Did we just get *Inappropriate Comment'd*?
Vivian Darkbloom - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Looks like it. My first time *cyber high fives Giraffe*
Giraffe - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
*coolly strokes back antlers*
Loser.
Su Ye Crow - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm trying, OK? I do have feelings, you know?
Still Su Ye Crow - January 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, and what's with always spelling hoopla 'hooplah'? Is that English, Aussie, American, Yiddish, Australiddish, Yinglish, Ameridish or just plain Ignoramussansonlinedictionary-ish?
Oooh, let's all post under pseudonyms. - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Ha ha.
"Screw you, too, buddy!" -Terrance and Phillip.

According to Urban Dictionary (by a poster called 'The Keeper Of The Cheese', no less!) 'hooplah' is the correct way to spell the term. So I don't care if Google results sway 1000:1 in your favour... or should I say, 'favor'... The Keeper Of The Cheese has spoken!
*gonggggggggggggg*
Pseudonyms? Nib. Nib Oswald. Luke Brattoni. Nib Oswald Brattoni. Luke Tennant Oswald Brattoni - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
*nom de plume'd* And yet onlinedictionary.com- a search engine for over a dozen conventional dictionaries- shows no hits for 'hooplah'. ... 'Keeper Of The Cheese', though *clenching fists* yes, he's an undisputed authority. Drats, foiled again by cheese! Favour is fine. I come from... a city named after confectionery- you'll never guess- and we control Australia as well as America, France, Britain and Germany (by the onions), so I can tolerate ur ridiculous, antipodean spelling.
Luke Brattoni - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
I got the Year 10 French Prize back in the day, and that was the year I discovered that 'plume' is French for 'Nib'. So my 'nom de plume' being 'name of nib' is rather fitting.

Two years later, I would finish high school with an overall 93.55 UAI, involving a French score of 62. What a slider there...

I also have suspicion that that wasn't The Real Em Lady up yonder.
EmiLoca - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, for Flying Spaghetti Monster's sake.
GTFO n00b
Luke Brattoni - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Yay!
*fawns*
Take THAT, bully! I have EMFORCEMENTS.
Viv - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I caught the gist of what you were saying, Emily, but had to google 'Flying Spaghetti Monster'. The wiki reference just has 'I love penguins in my pants', which is a tad cryptic. Please clarify. That pending, I'm reviewing my opinion of you as a people person. Didn't your mother ever teach that it's rude to be rude?
EmiLoca - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
My mother taught me never to name my children after roman numerals.
Unless, of course, we're playing the clever pseudonym game, Mr. Nabokov.
Vivian Darkbloom - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Silly, your misheard your mum. She said don't name your children after Roman generals. You know, like Lucius Cornificius, Aureolus, Gaius Marius, and Titus Didius. Seeing how this thread is a virtual shrine to your pubescent pulchritude... The double-barrel rumble of Humbert Humbert: Emi-lo-ca: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Emi. Lo. Ca. She was Em, plain Em, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Emi in slacks. She was Emily at school. She was Emily Silk on the dotted line. But in my arms she was alwa- get your scaly talons offa me you repugnant twit!
Luke Brattoni - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, boy. Finally, a jello fight in which the contestants spend half-time reflecting on the inveterate gender roles that have been constructed within their current cultural zeitgeist due to the perpetuation of established social norms, eventuating in such a bizarre spectacle as objectified females engaging in mock gladitorial performance within a gelatinized space subordinate to the dominant male gaze of the imagined audience.

You know, before they hop back in the ring and get PROTEIN-Y.

Now throw some Spoonerisms into the mix and start TAKING SHI... erm, I mean SHAKING TI... this is going to be harder than I thought...
EmiLoca - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
UrbanDictionary.com: Emily Silk is another one of those slutty seventh graders who think they're all cool and shit...ha...but she aint foolin no one. She thinks Colin Ford ( a hott 8th grader ) likes her..but the whole school knows he is in love with someone else.

You got me.

*collapses seductively in gelatin*
Vivian Darkbloom - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
UrbanDictionary.com: "luke brattoni isn't defined yet, but these are pretty close: 'baby lukey' [clearly a ref. to Nib Oswald's sexual proclivities]; 'stalker' [clearly a ref. to Nib Oswald's unorthodox courtship rituals]; 'lopsided' [an oblique ref. by the lexicographer to the various snapshots of Nib tilting his head and/or twisting his physiognomy into asymmetry]; and 'immaculate' [presumably a ref. to Nib's, ah... sexual 'purity]."
V for Vivian - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Or would that be a Voracious assumption?
Vivian Darkbloom - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
That would be a veracious assumption.
Luke Brattoni - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Pffft. I knew you weren't Emi when you missed the period on "Oh."

Because Emi never... NEVER misses her periods, right?
EmiLoca - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I've told you enough about my menstrual cycle. By now you should have the general leak-span down to a tack and know exactly when to rape me without any risk of commitment.
Luke Brattoni - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Heh. 'Down to attack'.
"All units, all units, be advised that suspect has escaped on a leaky menstrual cycle."
EmiLoca - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Excuse me a moment. I just realized that I have partial syndactyly.

...that's, like, hot, right?
Luke Brattoni - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
As long as you don't have an indented ribcage area to match. Otherwise you'd be more suited to my highschool friend Tom, AKA 'Dinty McWebWeb'.
Luke Brattoni - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
That said, any ten letter word that only uses one vowel is definitely an asset.
EmiLoca - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Gypsyfy'd!
Luke Brattoni - January 26, 2007 - Report this comment
*syzygy of rhythmyc cynnylyngys'd!*
EmiLoca - January 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Y?
Luke Brattoni - January 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Your two 'l's up there appear to have partial syndactyly.
EmiLoca - January 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Come now! It's clearly a 'V' with partial syndactyly. Your two 'I's up there must be blurred.
Luke Brattoni - January 29, 2007 - Report this comment
There's nothing wrong with my 'I's, you strangely woman-sized talking hatstand!
*bumps into wall*
Oops, pardon me, madam.
*pats wastebasket*
Good boy.
EmiLoca - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey, who are you calling a wall?!
*adjusts*
Luke Brattoni - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry?
*checks watch*
It's half past question mark.
EmiLoca - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
...riiiiight.

...?
Luke Brattoni - February 02, 2007 - Report this comment
^ Oh, that's right. You Americans run behind our local time.
V - February 02, 2007 - Report this comment
um, actually, EmiLoca is in our 'local time'.
Luke Brattoni - February 03, 2007 - Report this comment
"Quiet, youuuuu!"
*cigar wiggle*
EmiLoca - February 04, 2007 - Report this comment
*refrains from lame, giraffe-cough-worthy attempt involving 'black Marx'*
Giraffes - February 05, 2007 - Report this comment
*surreptitiously reach for lozenges*
Luke Brattoni - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Speaking of that darkest of non-colours, can your prease exprain 'today... is not black' for me. And the studio audience playing at home. In their studio home.
EmiLoca - February 13, 2007 - Report this comment
No.
Luke Brattoni - February 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Mmm. Mmmmm.
Luke Brattoni - February 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Knock knock.
Britney's hairdresser's next customer - February 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Who's hair?
Luke Brattoni - February 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Not you again.
dumbstruck - February 20, 2007 - Report this comment
but.....................how did you know it was me???????
Luke Brattoni - February 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, please. I just KNOW.
awed - February 22, 2007 - Report this comment
*slinks away*
EmiLoca - February 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Odd.
Luke Brattoni - February 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Even more so.
julian - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
dude that doesnt rhyme
EmiLoca - April 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Julian, press ctrl-W for a free IQ test.
Nib - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
And to think I was going to use "Dude, your FACE doesn't rhyme." by way of witty retort. Julian's bell curve result= the gong Emi's ring finger= popuation of Asia
Tibbygirl - May 17, 2007 - Report this comment
This thing continues to age, & yet still has a bit of zest left in it. My oh my.....it's been a while...
Nib - May 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Kind of like yo mama, Tibster. I see you're getting your last mileage out of this before EmiLoca is no longer EmiLocal...
EmiLoca - June 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Now all we need is Apricot to acknowledge the invitation I sent him AGES ago and we'll have a regular Hittin' On Reunion!
???? - June 11, 2007 - Report this comment
wtf u all suck dick u fcking losers lol. weird all rulez!!!!
Mo the Hoe - June 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Who is EmiLoca? My security code is Amy!
Nib - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Hoe Mo? Is that really you? :O
EmiLoca - June 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Stop making that face, you dick sucking loser.
Nib - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
...uh-huh. You put the 'emo' in 'Voldemort.'
Apricot - July 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Holy piss.. That's all I can really say right now. I need to let this sink in... I also can believe how goddamn random and weird I was 3 years ago. I've... gone damn near complete opposite direction since then.
Your Worst Nightmare - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
FURTHERMORE YOUR SCOTCH WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT AGED TO MY TASTE I BID YOU GENTLEMEN ADIEU
EmiLoca - August 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, Apricot, I'm glad we've all matured since then. *Draco Malfoy DRAWLcasm*
Nib - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
*LOLgasm*
EmiLoca - August 28, 2007 - Report this comment
We may be 7948 miles apart (that's a 1,432 mile improvement since last year!), but this page will forever be comparable to the dirty backseat where we had our first awkward, embarrassingly brief post-prom sex. Or geography.
Nib - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Ha ha. Yeah. But I'm guessing you must have Rufied me up good, as I unfortunately have no recollection of such an event. *polishes my "Hey, you were the one who asked to get married first" trump card.*
EmiLoca - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Like I said. Embarrassingly brief.
Nib - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Well hey, those limo taxis charge by the minute. So technically, got away with no fare there. Screw geography, I was thinking economically, baybee.
EmiLoca - September 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Turquamarine says that you should've paid for a condom instead of relying on the limo-taxi-changes-by-the-minute-so-let's-make-this-"economical" method. Only slightly more effective than Diet Coke.
Nib - September 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Domino and '&' blame the carcinogenic aftereffects of the Diet Coke for their horrendous Siamese-triplet status. Perhaps inserting several Mentos afterwards wasn't worth the laugh factor.Ah, who am I kidding? That frothing vaggifountain was priceless.
EmiLoca - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Formal tux - $400 Corsage - $15 Limo Taxi - $8/minute Diet Coke/Mentso - $3.95 Frothing vaggifountain - $1,500 in V-Plate Reupholstery
Nib - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
*cupholder installed for no extra charge!
Paid Advertisement - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
MENTSO: The frsehmaker.
EmiLoca - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Ashsole.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Hiya, I'm back from my holiday in Neptune and... waaaaaiiiiit a minute. What the dangdillyOprah is going on here?
EmiLoca - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment
*hastily snatches Paid Advertisement's underthings from bedside table and throws them from third-story window* Nothing! Paid Advertisement and I were just doing some nude conceptual art!
Nib - October 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Riiiiiiightio. As long as I don't catch you and those Ricky Martin Ringtone advertisements down the side of the page practising CPR in the cinemas again... Heh heh... my security code says 'PEZ'.
EmiLoca - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh no, Ricky isn't certified in the US yet.... he needs all the practice he can get. Sorry. PractiSe. And I think I am officially no longer a child... I had to Wiki "pez" just now.
Nib - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
What's this? 'Wiki'? What the heck are you on about, whippersnapper? Back in my day we had to rely on Yahoo searches alone! On a 56kb dialup modem, I tells ya!
EmiLoca - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
No One Mourns the Wiki'd?
Giraffes - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
*glance up from Saturday evening crossword*
Nib - November 06, 2007 - Report this comment
You've just earned yourself another Threesome Offer Rejection card. ...the uncool kind, but... hey...come on...
EmiLoca - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
WWF this time. I'll take the card if you kill a panda in the name of my security code.
Nib - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Consider it AXH...ed...
Nib - December 17, 2007 - Report this comment
...*cough*Dakota... Blue... Fanning?
EmiLoca - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Excuse me, I'M the world's oldest child prodigy here, I'LL be conducting any further blowings-on from this point. *you-femme-eyes'd!*
Nib - December 28, 2007 - Report this comment
*dis-appointment*
EmiLoca - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm sorry, your appointment requires a cancellation fee of... *checks cheaptickets.com*... $1,532 plus taxes and fees.
Nib - January 05, 2008 - Report this comment
And then double that for the return flight... plus food, accommodation and travel for however long I'm over... You know, King's Cross is, like, an hour on the train...
Nib - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
*exits train platform* ...TIBBYGIRL?!
EmiLoca - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
*slithers out from Tibbygirl's neck*
Nib - February 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Welcome to 2008.
EmiLoca - February 07, 2008 - Report this comment
*YAWN* Wow, has it really been four years?
Dr Boznocker - February 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Quiet! Quiet! I think she's trying to say something... the Ice Woman speaketh!
Stephen Stucker - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
And she's about to get colllllddddderrrrr!
Nib - February 14, 2008 - Report this comment
^ Alrighty then, well that's got to be the longest pick-up line in human history. ;)
EmiLoca - August 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Ooh, Happy Valentine's Day! (It's okay... it's still Valentine's Day where I live.)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 08, 2008 - Report this comment
...L'chaim?
EmiLoca - September 09, 2008 - Report this comment
L'ocha.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Happy Valentine's to you too... http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/world/butt-bandit-vandals-town-with-greasy-groin/2008/09/12/1220857788232.html
EmiLoca - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
*quickly exfoliates and styles hair into a less 1980's, feathered look*
Dr Music - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Enough of this foollishness. (Turns into a werejohncandy) This is a website NOT a chat room. If you lot want to waste your time doing meaningless banter- find somewhere else to do it. Agri, you should know better than to get involved in such nonsense. Everyone out! Get out!
EmiLoca - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
... *gaaaaasp* ...DAD?!!
Dr Music - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm not your father. I'm just a werejohncandy that's all.
EmiLoca - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
No, ha ha, you see, it's this big inside joke of ours, my dad... being a doctor of music and all... and not wanting me to correspond with... Luke Brattoni... so, um. Yes. You're... you're totally the guy everyone on the inthe00s boards wants to ban, aren't you.
Dr Music - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Well here's the thing. I'm not that kind of doctor, i'm a mad scientist type without the insanity. And no, i'm not the guy that everyone on that board wants to ban, i'm a totally different. The only reason I want this ongoing barage of comments from you and your so called "accomplices" to end is because it's taking up the entire page. I hope you understand.
EmiLoca - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
*considers* Mmmmmno.
Dr Music - September 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(Imtitating Jack Nicholson's voice) Now now Emi, you've have got the wrong guy. I'm not that guy at all, there's been some misunderstanding. You don't know me, you don't know me at all. I'm not that guy. I have absolutely no idea what you're talkin about. Agri and the others are just telling lies about me...don't listen to them. Trust me.
Nib - September 24, 2008 - Report this comment
i'm... barage... imtitating... you've have... Emi, I nominate Dr Music for your list. (Lulz, my Security Code is H8U)
Dr Music - September 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Okay, how can the editors even allow this to happen? How can they allow a parody to have an infinitely long comments page in which ALL the comments are nothing but useless banter. Surely they must be crazy. I'm telling the man ChuckyG about this by forwarding it to him.
EmiLoca - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Dr Music get the number one spot on my's list of influentially good people with the grammars badness! :D And Doc... uh, press ctrl-w for a free IQ test?
Dr Music - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Sorry, but I sell the tricks I DON'T buy them. If this is some sort of scam forget it- you can't trick me that easily.
EmiLoca - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
*incredulous stare*
Dr Music - September 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Miss Loca, ever danced with the devil lin the pale moonlight?
EmiLoca - September 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter? (lmaozedong - Security Code is "NAY")
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 30, 2008 - Report this comment
*Terminator-esque healing of shotgunn'd face*
EmiLoca - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
*visits out of obligation as one might visit a geriatric great-aunt in the hospital or the single unwanted siamese triplet in the ICU*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 05, 2008 - Report this comment
"Is it bad, Doc?" // "Well, I'm afraid that tests are still coming back inconclusive. Your child doesn't display the usual symptoms of retardation, but clearly this behaviour suggests..." // "I LIKE DOO DANDCE!"
EmiLoca - November 05, 2008 - Report this comment
*...or, Nate.*
EmiLoca - November 05, 2008 - Report this comment
It's totally Wednesday, isn't it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Dada dadunn *click click*
karen - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
So this is where you two have been hiding!
Osama Bin Laden and Elvis - November 07, 2008 - Report this comment
"...dammit!"
Giraffes - November 08, 2008 - Report this comment
*disappear in UFOs*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 18, 2008 - Report this comment
*crrrk* Attention, passengers, this is Madeleine McCann speaking. We may be encountering slight turbulence ahead.
EmiLoca - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
*strips down, evacuates business class*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
*rips out moustache, evacuates bowels*
Miss Flight Attendant - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
*unlocks mustache aid kit, unlocks lavatory*
Hero Fiennes-Tiffin - December 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I take it you've already met my uncle?
EmiLoca - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
FIRST COMMENT IN A YEAR! WHAT SAY YOU?!?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
FIRST!
EmiLoca - February 14, 2010 - Report this comment
TOO LONG DID NOT READ LOL BET YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE I MEAN THE TOO LONG PART!!! LOL
EmiLoca - July 03, 2010 - Report this comment
*pokes head into room*

LAST
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 06, 2010 - Report this comment
CHANCE
EmiLoca - July 07, 2010 - Report this comment
FOR
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
A
EmiLoca - October 11, 2011 - Report this comment
LCOHOL
Your Worst Nightmare - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
goddammit

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