Professor Linus
Mad scientist of the city
Makes experiments all day
Sometimes the results they are shitty
Yes they are
Like when he made liquid-fueled cars
Did not go far

Professor Linus
Master of speed, time and distance
His assistant's kinda homely
One time he caught him pissin'
In the tube
They're both mad scientist and boob
It's no surprise

Oh he;s blown up everything
Don't try his type of cheese
It's plutonium if you please
Oh this atom has an Eve
And her name it is Penny

Professor Linus
His classes are not that hard
He teaches guys and girls
How to make experiments with tubs of lard
They don't look good
When stuff don't turn out like it should
He thinks its good
( Rhyme good with good? what the hell Higgneson?)

Professor Linus
Brought some elements today
It looks like nitrogen and salt
What's up his sleeve now anyway?
Don't know at all
If he mixes those he's got balls
But why the salt?

Oh he's been for 18
Years in the same lab I think
He's even taken leaks
Sometimes the lab reeks

His nuttiness can go quite far
Puts elements and in planes and cars
And bunson burners and beaker cups too
He could do all this stuff all day
There could be a big explosion
And we'll just laugh and say "We knew!"
He'll probably look forward to that day
And right now i can promise you
He could blow up a buildiing too
Then there would no more school days
He might get blamed

Professor Linus
No relative of Jerry Lewis
If he was, it made have screwed us
Cause it'd be no surprise, they can be loons
He's made his ass look like baboon's
He does anything he wants too
He'll make Frankenstein outta you
It matters too

Oh , yes science he does teach
Only one that isn't mean
He knows lots of chemistry
And he knows tomfoolery
Igor's with him see?