Song Parodies -> Preferred Pinup Elf
| Original Song Title: | "Don't Let Me Get Me" |
| Original Performer: | Pink |
| Parody Song Title: | "Preferred Pinup Elf" |
| Parody Written by: | EmiLoca |
I don't think this one really needs an introduction.
Look around my space, they're all around my room
You'll find my collection and my shrine for Mister Bloom
Looks elated me, lembas sedated me
Hair is pulled back blonde and tight, and his Elvish pants excite
Everyday he fights a war, and gets so nearer
Who's this pointy-eared one who's staring back at me?
He's the preferred pinup elf
I'm at his mercy
My heart is full of ecstasy
I wanna get him by himself -
Get started dating
Don't want my old boyfriend no more
I wanna see this hottie elf!
I wanna see this hottie elf, yeah.
Dismay! Oh, me. He'd be a film star.
All I have for him's an Omaha postcard
Letting him know I care; making it sincere
Hope he gets this... (S.ealed W.ith A. K.iss)
Darling, darling won't you please inscribe me
something
Will I have to write me back myself?
For you're the preferred pinup elf
You'll just forget me
(You'd) Rather go hunt orcs than me
So you go on, enjoy yourself
Uruk-Hai baiting
You'd rather talk to ents, for sure
You're a distracted hottie elf.
You'd never let me
Even brush dust off your knees
And though my heart still breaks itself
Defibrillating
We'll just be writing friends - no more
You'll belong to somebody else.
Dashing, drilling arrows through an oliphaunt's skin
Flips over a horse all by himself!
(Oh, what a hottie!)
[Bridge - Legolas jumps across first. (Ha, ha.)]
Idolize you, pinup elf
Praise you devoutly
Commit righteous blasphemy
You could be my toy on the shelf
For "mass debating"
"Knocked" from the shelf onto the floor
(Now THAT's a hazard to myself!)
You'll find my collection and my shrine for Mister Bloom
Looks elated me, lembas sedated me
Hair is pulled back blonde and tight, and his Elvish pants excite
Everyday he fights a war, and gets so nearer
Who's this pointy-eared one who's staring back at me?
He's the preferred pinup elf
I'm at his mercy
My heart is full of ecstasy
I wanna get him by himself -
Get started dating
Don't want my old boyfriend no more
I wanna see this hottie elf!
I wanna see this hottie elf, yeah.
Dismay! Oh, me. He'd be a film star.
All I have for him's an Omaha postcard
Letting him know I care; making it sincere
Hope he gets this... (S.ealed W.ith A. K.iss)
Darling, darling won't you please inscribe me
something
Will I have to write me back myself?
For you're the preferred pinup elf
You'll just forget me
(You'd) Rather go hunt orcs than me
So you go on, enjoy yourself
Uruk-Hai baiting
You'd rather talk to ents, for sure
You're a distracted hottie elf.
You'd never let me
Even brush dust off your knees
And though my heart still breaks itself
Defibrillating
We'll just be writing friends - no more
You'll belong to somebody else.
Dashing, drilling arrows through an oliphaunt's skin
Flips over a horse all by himself!
(Oh, what a hottie!)
[Bridge - Legolas jumps across first. (Ha, ha.)]
Idolize you, pinup elf
Praise you devoutly
Commit righteous blasphemy
You could be my toy on the shelf
For "mass debating"
"Knocked" from the shelf onto the floor
(Now THAT's a hazard to myself!)
If you haven't figured out who this is about by now, you have a serious problem.
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User Comments Follow...
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Author's Note: "Mass debating" can be interchangeable with "yestlicating".
Yeah...Legolas is about as hot as they come. I always love a man with a quiver. Excellent job!
Emi..I'm flattered. My good friend Kristof Robertson told me about this, so I thought I'd check it out. If you're not doing anything Friday night....btw, don't go and see "The Calcium Kid"....it's rubbish. 555
Wow...the cheekboned one himself! Tell Kristof "thanks" for me, and if "The Calcium Kid" ever hits U.S. theaters, I'll take your advice.
Is this one of those hobbit things? Am I the only person who's never seen that movie?
Nice job. I like this one. 5-5-5.
Thanks to Danica and Leon Hardo (though I'm not quite sure if he voted). Like I said...serious problem, Hardo. Seek immediate counseling.
No, I'm afraid ignorance of all things Tolkien prevents me from offering an appraisal. I'm sure if I were well-versed, I'd find this brilliant, but...
That's all right. Though I'm confused as to why the anonymous 5-er didn't leave no comment. Come back! Come ba-a-ack!!!
As mum (yes, a 'u' there, guys) was away and sure as hell wouldn't trust me home alone with my own obsessive yestlication, I was submitted into board at school for several days and this very topic was brought up by the jealous guys whose girlfriends all had Orlando blooming across their walls. Great parody, Emi, loved the incorporation of 'defribrillating'.
G-thanks, JARLB! My last boyfriend had the same problem, he didn't like the fact that the life-size, inflatable replica of Will Turner (complete with buckled swashes...oooh) occupied my sleeping space at night. Don't know what HIS problem was.
Ashkickass, Not only does Legolas have a quiver,he's handy with a shaft and he even looks good with a bow!( Just a fine example of a pun taken too far! )
TTP - You punhead, I was totally going to say that. Ripped it right out of my mind, you idea-lifter! And The Thought Police, of all people...you should be ashamed.
Emi-did I forget to mention what a fine axe that Gimli has? (Remember,Dwarves do it where the sun don't shine....)
Leon Hardo - Don't feel too bad - I watched about half of the first part leg of the trilogy and have to say I was not impressed. I understand there are others just like us, but most of them are in hiding to avoid being accused of heresy...
His Elvish pants DO excite....hehe.....i loved it. it was beautiful. As a matter of fact, I think I shall print it out and frame it!!!
You should pun-ish Thought Police. I myself find that an inflatable pirate 'Will Turner' me on. So sorry to Hardo for using your name as an adjective for madness.
Sorry about the delay, I was busy tying Paul Robinson to the stake. Personally, anything that prances about in tight pants and an almost-skirt excites me. Or even 50,000 sweaty CGI-men charging at each other in metal minis. (TibbyGirl, you have no idea what I'm talking about...but you do. But not really. Gee, I wonder who I was addressing that comment to?).
A fish called wonder.
I definitely agree with you, Emi - 50,000 skirted men can't be wrong.
Emily play with that inflatable doll all the time. It's her favorite "TROY."(wow, don't I feel lame)
TibbyGirl - sit down. NOW. *to Wonder* Awright! Who could resist the face that launched a thousand hormones? "Immorality - take it! It's YOURS!"
Tibbygirl?
I'm scared. Luke, let's get out of here. On that thought, screw you, I'm leaving!
What?
Donkey!
Paprika!!
Hootananny!!!! Shindig!!!!
Tibbygirl. Sit down. NOW.
Hierophant!
Okay,I'm curious ,is Orlando more,or less,popular for killing Brad in "Troy"? (When I open a can of worms,it's usually to go fishing for comments!)
Well, Paris the Prancing Pansy Prince killed the world's greatest warrior with one puny arrow. And Achilles was a bit of a chauvenistic man-whore. I would have to say that THAT particular incident would make Orlando Bloom more...gorgeous. And shiny. And cheekboney. And pretty. And huggable. And what was the question again?
Focus,Emi, FOCUS !
Personally, I think that it was Pirates of the Caribbean that made him the most popular. I mean, the flowered hat he wore at the end of the movie....who can resist large flowered hats? Not me, that's for sure. And also, the odd but strangely hot long blonde wig he sported in LOTR. Who knows....I could go on about him for minutes on end.....
great job!!! Legolas is the best. Rock on, dude.
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