No sir, you should have broken up with her a long time before
It’s your turn—she never liked you anyway and was a whore
It’s time for her to be hurt so much…
So go find her and let her know that you will not admit defeat
And behind her, simply place a wad of gum upon her seat

That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
And now she’ll be embarrassed cause she'll have gum on her butt
And that’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa

You wonder if maybe that was not enough to get her back
She must earn the things that she deserves the most, you need to attack
So enter her house and find her pantry while she is away
And grab her Oreos and replace the cream with mayonnaise

That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
So now she’ll eat that mayonnaise and it’ll be all gross
And that’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa

She needs to pay, you need… you need
Some better means to make her sorry
Should you ever start to think straight,
You could start a fire and burn her house down, YEAH!
Go grab a match and an old rusty knife
Once you do that, kill her dad and his wife
That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa…

That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
That’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa
Now she’s homeless on the street and her parents are dead
And that’s how you get back at your ex-girlfriend, whoa