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Song Parodies -> "The Christmas Undies"

Original Song Title:

"The Christmas Shoes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Newsong

Parody Song Title:

"The Christmas Undies"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Wilder

The Lyrics

Had to do this after that horrible nauseating piece of crap got stuck in my head. Next time you end up in the car with it on the radio and no way to change it, imagine it being sung this way.
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two, an iPad touch for cousin Sue
Standing right in front of me was a pre-teen boy waiting anxiously
The kind with a tattoo on his derriere
And in his hands he held a pair of underwear

His clothes were red and gold, he was covered with bling from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir, I want to buy these undies for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these undies are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see Daddy’s been on Viagra for some time
And I know these undies would make him erect all right
And I want her to look hot if Mama and Daddy get it on tonight

He handed over a check that seemed to go through fine
Until the cashier said, "Son, that check’s been declined"
All he had in his pockets was a Dora The Explorer ID
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama makes Christmas hot at our house
And since Arbor day we’ve had to do without
Please please sir it will not be funny
If I don’t come home with these Christmas undies

So I handed over two 20 dollar bills
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so hot Daddy won’t need sex pills

Sir, I want to buy these undies for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these undies are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see Daddy’s been on Viagra for some time
And I know these undies would make him erect all right
And I want her to look hot if Mama and Daddy get it on tonight

I knew later on that I’d been had a plenty
When I saw him and his mom and dad on TV
They looked like the hillbillies from Deliverance
And specialized in hardcore pornography

Sir, I want to buy these undies for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these undies are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see Daddy’s been on Viagra for some time
And I know these undies would make him erect all right
And I want her to look hot if Mama and Daddy get it on tonight

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