Food's my friend, I'm a pure-bread eating machine
Dinner! I waited my whole damn day for this
I know about those cakes, I've only ate 17
Now I will eat another few before Christmas end

So
Everybody's gone to work
But they don't know how much I'm struggling nor
Tell me to get up
With my ass I can't do it anymore

CHORUS:
If food is a drug, I guess I'm addicted
No man can get me lifted, unless they're gifted
How to lose weight, if you're a food magnet?
I didn't mean to eat all that
If I want to move around, I need an expended wheelchair
I fell asleep on my job, my job is to answer calls
When trying to pick up the phone I accidently fell over
I just couldn't get up

For every diet that I've tried
There'll be a cake I just cannot resist
Why do I eat and what should not be eaten?
I can't reach the phone I can't move around

So
Everybody's gone to work
But they don't know how much I'm struggling nor
Tell me to get up
With my ass I can't do it anymore

CHORUS X2

Food is my friend, to get out of bed I need some kind of machine
I think I'll stay in my room this Christmas.