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Song Parodies -> "I'm in a Moat"

Original Song Title:

"I'm on a Boat"

Original Performer:

Lonely Island featuring T-Pain

Parody Song Title:

"I'm in a Moat"

Parody Written by:

Joseph Rhodes

The Lyrics

The rewrite is a version about a warrior at some time in the Middle Ages who tells his fellow warriors to turn around, don't drown, because escaping from the water/gunk/smoothie that is the enemy's moat/countermeasure against attack is much more difficult than he realized. The Lonely Island Movie/Popstar... should be available on disc September 13, 2016. It appears to be available already at iTunes and Google Play, and perhaps at Amazon's streaming service. I don't consider the previous statement spam because the original song and the parody would not exist without the Lonely Islanders, but if the moderators wish to exercise line-item-veto power, I'll understand.
Oh, crap!
Get the priest ready; I’m about to sink down!
Everybody near the castle better learn to swim,
Or stay on the ever-lovin’ land; I’m sinking now! Go back!

I’m in a moat! I’m in a moat!
Reconsider the attack
‘Cause I’m sinking in a moat!

I’m in a moat! I’m in a moat!
Feast your eyes on gunk
That’s the countermeasure moat!

I’m in a moat, fellow warriors! Take a closer look
At the signal for caution that our fathers took!
Come no farther, cause that’s all that the poet wrote!
The jerks stopped me with a smoothie ‘cause I’m in a moat!

Store the image, friend! I’m in a moat thick!
And my words now are gurgles and not lisps!
I’ve got my armor! And also gravity!
And now I’m drowning while you’re all looking on helplessly!

We wanted braver endings than to drown in gunk,
But it’s all clear now; it’s a test you all need not flunk!
So bring your own bridge, or catapults and ropes!
I’m in a moat, fellow warriors, but for you is still hope!

I’m in a moat here; I’m going nowhere;
Make sure to keep all the allied forces elsewhere!
Now it’s over for me, and it hasn’t been fun;
I hope that my girlfriend’s heart will go on!

So turn around!
And do not drown!

Stay dry, not in the moat, fellow warrior!
Distant, so you don’t die, fellow warrior!
Strength in numbers; together, fellow warriors!
My silence but not yours, fellow warriors!

Didn’t see an end this way;
Giant ditch in a warrior’s way!
May the others find a more fitting way;
Like glory, honor...something nobler than a moat!

Yeah...I never thought I’d possibly drown
With so many people around,
But I will still be found:
Bacteria bound!

Never thought I’d see the day
I’d be one with Earth this way.
Believe me when I say
You should run away!

I’m in a moat! I’m in a moat!
Run away ‘cause I’m lying at the bottom of a moat!
I’m in a moat! I’m in a moat!
Run away from gunk that’s a countermeasure moat!
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

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