I start to feel the heat
With strokes that I repeat
But might concede defeat
While trying to beat my meat
Oh I keep trying
While I am crying

[chorus]
All that I want
Is firmness of part
I'm an old fart
Hard to get laid
I'd like to park
It harder than bark

With the women that I meet
I try to be discrete
My pants have hit my feet
And still it is petite
No use in lying
While she is sighing

[chorus 2x]

(Where's the love?)
It's hard to be with women
(Lack thereof)
Too soft for their forgivin'
(Where's the love?)
Yet half the time I'm livin'
Like a nun

[chorus 3x]