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Song Parodies -> "As If... (I Would Ever Change)"

Original Song Title:

"What If"

Original Performer:

Kate Winslet

Parody Song Title:

"As If... (I Would Ever Change)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Kate Winslet (God, I LOVE her) sang this song for an animated Christmas Carol in 2001 and this is the way it would go if Scrooge rejected the 3 Spirits and refused to change!!!
Here I sleep alone
This heavy weight upon my soul
Not my wish that it should stay
In my mind I keep on looking back
When my sweetheart broke my heart
Wondering why money was such a bad thing

Well I tried
But I was working all the time
Making my way in this world and doing fine

Why did she choose to let me go?
When I welcomed her into my home?*
Should have stayed
And been my bride
But there's no way to turn back time
So now I die? Three Spirits- GO!!!

A tough choice to make
Never joy
Lots of heart-ache
Somehow I had lost my way
Seems like now there's no turning back
My life is torn apart- and that's a fact
People let me down and Death has won the game

So much pain, I think about lost decades all the time
And all the dreams that were hoped for- but denied (she declined)

Why did she choose to let me go?
When I welcomed her into my home?
Should have stayed
And been my bride
But there's no way to turn back time
So now I die? Three Spirits- GO!!!

Countdown, and there is so little time
I keep living, but am already dead inside

Still, I tried
This money is all mine
But she abandoned me and meaningless is life

Why did she choose to let me go?
When I welcomed her into my home?
Should have stayed
And been my bride
But there's no way to turn back time
So now I die? Three Spirits- GO!!!

GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[Extension Verse]

Don't fear the specter in the dark robe
Whose skeletal face is now exposed
Spread your raven wings and
strike... your... swift blow
* Home here refers to the heart

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - June 09, 2014 - Report this comment
A haunting, "what-if" alternative ending to a classic tale.
Rob Arndt - June 09, 2014 - Report this comment
I thought I would take Kate's OS and use the theme of lost love and twist it into Ebenezer's negative POV ;-)
John Lomain - June 10, 2014 - Report this comment
This was good. I live in the same building as two real scrooges who are huge jerks constantly so I'm moving. Good write
Rob Arndt - June 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks JL, I didn't even know that Kate sang apart from her role in "S&S!"

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