Drinks in hand... sink my stein.
Pink-tinged eyes... my breath's like turpentine.
Scull my fourth... throw the barmaid a glance.
I'm pissin' up my paycheck... and pissin' in my pants.

I'ma spend the night in a bar... then pass out in the street.
I quaff absinthe by the pint... I'll prob'ly crawl all week.
Drank these beers... sloshed as sin.
I'm havin' trouble shhpeakin'... shhipped too muchhh gin!

Nine cans, white wine... eyes red and wheeling.
I prize my sleight at swillin' beers... my vision aint too clear.

Call my wife... "I'm working late.
A meeting with twelve schooners... I'll leave them at the gate."
Down more beer... and I'll drink to my brain.
I'll drink to the twelve steps... I'll drink every day!

I'm halfway blind... my heart is failing.
My, I've imbibed a million beers... been pissin' up all year.

Talk in slurs... gosh, I stink.
I'm havin' trouble seein'... had too much drink.