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Song Parodies -> "Slotch.com"

Original Song Title:

"Stacey's Mom"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Fountains of Wayne

Parody Song Title:

"Slotch.com"

Parody Written by:

EmiLoca

The Lyrics

For the past week, my homepage has been Slotch.com. I do not know how it got there - I never went there and I was completely happy with Yahoo! as my homepage. It is supposed to be a search engine. Unfortunately, with this search engine comes endless pop-ups advertising scantily clad girls. Of course, that makes me look real nice when people come over and use the internet. The worst part is, it's locked up my Internet Options so that I cannot change the homepage. So this is my lament.
Slotch.com - you've got to go, be gone [x4]

Sitting at the computer after school (after school)
Click on MSN, but the internet's cru-u-uel (so very cruel)
Why does this show when the icon I click? (Porn's so sick)
Nothing works, no matter what I type, press, or ki-i-ick (one angry chick)

You know I've tried to fix the settings - it won't let me
My virgin eyes
Close whenever I see:

Slotch.com, your images, so wrong
I'm getting online and I see a girl's thong
Slotch.com, you see
I don't want pornography
I know it might be wrong, but my homepage is Slotch.com

Yes, I vaguely remember when I first got on (first got on)
Pop-ups invade; my efforts are foregone (are foregone)
One could tell how angry I was, how appalled
By the way I screamed," What's wrong with my firewall?!?" (Uninstalled)

And I know that you think I've no compliancy
But my patience ran out;
"Just deal with it"? I disagree!

Slotch.com, please say you hear my song.
Don't wanna see women with names like "Nita Wong"
Somehow I'll be free
Yes, this is a guarantee
I won't rest till' it's gone, this viral threat called Slotch.com

Slotch.com, your website is a bomb
It just will not leave, and I've waited for so long
Controls my PC
To intoler'ble degrees
I guess I'll play along
It's hopeless to lose Slotch.com


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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2nz - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice take on your practical problem. I could take a look at that for you... the problem I mean.
EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, would you? That sure would unclog my emotional sewage pipe, and you'd have my undying gratitude for eternity. Thanks for voting, as well!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Flawless, as one can only expect from such a divine lyrical goddess! Sleazy Ladies On This Computer's Homepage
EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Someone Left One Treacherous Comment Here. Divine lyrical goddess my foot.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Stop Letting Off Terribly Cliched Huffies! Your choruses changed each time brilliantly you self-criticising poobum! YOU are a lyrical genius, I am a satirical penis. No more self-belittling!!
Bobby Boddie - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty good! Same thing happened to me! Hey check out my parodies. I have a few posted here of "Billie Jean", "Steal My Sunshine", and "Smooth"!
EmiLoca - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
*reports inappropriate comment* For the P word. (poobum) Anyway, thanks, Bobby! Pretty + good = Emi + Is Happy.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
*throws a tanty*
EmiLoca - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
*catches tanty and throws it back*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
*tanty riccochets off head, splattering tanty all over the floor*
Tibbygirl - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
*takes tanty away* I am fairly certain I said NO TANTYS after school... you might poke someone's ear out with that!!! my goodness!!! what does it TAKE!?!?!
EmiLoca - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
But teeeeeeeeeacher, he threw it first!
Tibbygirl - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Misssssssssss, Emiwoca's eading my cwayons!
Teacher - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
EmiLoca, I am just APPALED at your awful behavior thus far!!!!*notices a crayon* mmmmm......yellow.........
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*grabs crayon with pudgy, crumb-covered fingers* MINE.
Teacher - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Erm, if you give me half of that, I won't send you to the principal's office!!! *smiles hopefully*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
*smearing walls with Vegemite* I'ma ardist! Look ad me, Missssss, sdop looking at sdupid Emiwoca, she's nod my fwend.
Teacher - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*looks from Luke, to Emiloca, to Luke again* Hm....nevermind! *licks walls* Yum....edible art....hey, there's an idea....*begins to talk rapidly and pace back and forth* i can sell this..i'll tell everyone that poor kiddies in Madagascar made it and that unless people buy it, they'll starve to death and have to live in ditches....that's it, appeal to the public's senses....*to Luke* sweetheart don't tell the School Board though, it'll be our little secret, ok? I don't think they'd be too happy about this...but hey, after all, I am making money...no doubt they'll want to be in on it too.....but it's mine, I tell you!!! IT'S ALL MINE! *looks around, and notices that all the little kiddies have stopped playing, and are now staring at her in awe* Come on kids!! Let's spread Vegemite on EVERYTHING!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*jar of vegemite in hand, heads straight for EmiLoca's exposed ankles*
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*looks at ankles* Mmmm, edible shaving cream! *licks*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny true story: I was in the waiting room of our cinema when a female associate of mine (stay cool, she's gay) rocked up with her 'female associates' and they all tried out some shaving cream that they'd just bought on my leg. I went into the bathroom looking like I'd been raped by a midget elephant and smelling of some obscure tropical fruit... my guess is guava.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
My shaving gel is mango/guava-flavored...er...scented! I'm sure that's not a very attractive smell for a male to sport, though. Sorry about that, although it did give me a giggle. Four, five, five for your story(Comedic Timing, How Funny, Favorite Number).
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
teehee.....a guy that smells like guava......my shaving gel is pear. so take that emi.
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Tibbygirl smells Au Pair. (0,0,0)
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I had pear shaving gel at one point. Then my puppy started licking my legs and I felt violated. He doesn't like mango/guava so much.
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
*tee heeing* Aww, that sounds so cute, little pup-peeee! I spose it was a werewolf puppy, causing copious hair follicles to sprout from your ankles.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, "puppy" is American slang for "adopted homeless man". Trust me, if you think MY body hair is bad...
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah yes, Mr. Duddlekins. He always sniffs me when I go over there, unless I slap him. Then he whimpers and lays down in the corner. I told you that you should get rid of him Emi....I'm sure that your neighbors would take him in as well. Just.....leave him in a box somewhere. He's used to it.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Um...Tibbygirl...Mr. Duddlekins is my stepfather. I told you not to go to my house when I'm not around! The homeless man and I must have been out for a walk when you visited.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Strange. 'adopted homeless man' is slang for 'goodbye' in Australia, so I have no idea what is going on.
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
That's what I meant. I always get those two confused....do they share hole-y trenchcoats???
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
They share identities. Occasionally.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Then rent them out every other week.
Tibbygirl - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
So then, as a fact, the one who sniffed me could have been the homeless man.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Crap! Outwitted by a Tibbygirl!
stacy's mom - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
PLEASE RECORD AN MP3!!!! This song rocks :)
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, it's the plastic one herself (not you, TibbyGirl)! Unfortunately, I am unable to record any mp3s for a series of reasons. One, I don't know how. Two, I don't know who to ask. Three, I don't trust anyone.
Tibbygirl - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't appreciate you passing around totally untrue comments about my silicone expeditions, EmiLoca. How shallow. Personally, I'm not shocked at all. Why don't you just write a whole dang parody about it and tell THE WHOLE WORLD. On second thought, I take that back. Knowing you, you probably would.....*winces*
Mangled Penis - November 08, 2004 - Report this comment
To think, I typed in "Slotch" on google to find info on it, but instead I read about tanties being thrown lol. Nice lyrics though.
ThatAwesomeGuy - August 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Finally. Someone makes a parody of this song that doesn't involve the words "has got it going on". Thank you. Funny lyrics.

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