I am a man who’s splattered with whipped cream pie
Or strawberry or pumpkin
I’ll ride a cow and juggle at the same time
Well, It’s better than nothin’

Put on your big red nose
Paint up your face and hop in my clown car
I drive with my thirteen bros
With gas this insane we carpool to be smart

I’m sick of Circus Clowns
I’d swallow those swords down
Cause this job makes me frown
But a mime
Is a bad thing to waste they’re all saying

I run from lions who roar and my pants get wet
Just to get a promotion
I’ll play tug of war and I’ll fall down on my head
Laughter’s my devotion

Do our canned skits and cry
Pie in my face, so pleased to dessert me
Sprayed with a rose or tie
Flowers thrown on stage sure suck when they squirt me

I’m done with Circus Clowns
Caught in a purple gown
And into slime I’m downed
Now’s the time
To scrap this job and try Shakespeare acting

Life stinks when you’re a Clown
Bananas left around
For you to go fall down
There’s no crime
In leaving this job to become an attorney
In goofy… tights…

Face paint is… strife…
So says my… wife…