Two nights a week I come and sit down
Watch a show that comes on either 8:30 or 8
From what's left I wonder who'll get voted out
Bucky or even Taylor with his hair so grey

I won't touch my dial
I'll keep it on American Idol
American Idol

Randy Jackson's laughing now
William Hung sucks we'll hear from Simon Cowell
This time last year I refused to watch it
Now I think Im an Idol-holic
I have posters all up in my room
A lifesize cardboard Paula Abdul
And 50 CD's too
And I got every show on tape

Down the shopping Isles
Merchendise of American Idol
American Idol
American Idol

The first one who won
Kelly Clarkson
Twelve seasons later
I guess Taylor's alright
You believe he's 29
I, I think who was really good
Was Carrie Underwood
She's pretty fine also
But, no one's as good as the one who sang "She Bang"

Stay on the air for a while
I hope you stay American Idol
I hope you stay American Idol
I hope you stay American Idol
American Idol
American Idol

Simon says:
That was simply nausiating. The dreadful sound of your
voice makes my ears bleed. The way you move reminds
me of a cow giving birth. You are terrible.
(Contestant pulls out gun and shoots Simon in chest)
(Randy and Paula both applaud)