I was going to clean my room but then I ate pie
I was going to eat up and find the broom but then I ate pie
My room is still messed up and I know why
cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I was going to go to class before I ate pie
I couldn't eat it but I couldn't pass but I ate pie
Im talking the next semester and I know why
cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I was going to go to work but then I ate pie
I just got a new promotion but I ate pie
Now im selling coke and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I was going to go to court before I ate pie
I was going to pay my child support but then I ate pie
They took my whole paycheck and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I wasn't going to run from the cops but I needed pie
I was going to pull right over and stop but I needed pie
Now im a pie addict and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I was going to pay my pie slate until I ate pie
I wasn't gonna pay up really late but then I ate pie
Now the pie truck is pulling away and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I was going to make love to you but then I saw pie
I was going to eat your pussy too but then I ate pie
Now I can't find my dick and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

I messed up my entire life because I like pie
I lost my kids and wife because I ate pie
Now im sleeping on the side walk and I know why
Cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie

im gonna stop sing this song because im eating pie
im singing this whole thing wrong because im eating pie
And if I don't sell one copy I know why
cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie, cos I ate pie