Introduction: Yes, once again the year has flown by. Already it's time for our 3rd annual Dionne Warwick awards. Predictions for the upcoming year in music and entertainment. The crystal ball is coming in clear as we try to forecast 2005 events. Let's give it a try.
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Article by: Billy Parker
Snoop Dog will give up his acting and singing career to pursue what he's really good at: Coaching football.
J. Lo and Marc Anthony will divorce in 05. Sources close to the couple will state the trouble began when Marc's wife went and got a job.
Britney and Kevin will break up. Kevin will break the new to The Inquirer that she's still hung up on her first husband.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin will have twins. Their names will be Orange and Pineapple.
Michael Jackson will declare that he has a fourth child from an undisclosed mother. Michael will later have to admit the baby was cloned.
Nick and Jessica will have Ashlee drop by and sing "Happy Birthday" just to prove a point.
Kelly Osbourne and Christina Aguilera will meet accidentally outside of a Hollywood hotspot nightclub. Kelly will beat the crap out of Christina, but ends up being arrested for drinking underage.
Lip-synching will become the new buzzword for faking it. "I lip-synched it with him every time."
The Superbowl halftime extravaganza will be on a ten second delay to prevent any repeat of last year. The show lasts three hours and ten seconds.
Hillary Duff will take a swing at Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay will duck and Hillary will knock senseless Lindsay's dad. From that moment forward they will be best friends.
Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake will come under suspicion when it's discovered that they have been pawning used cameras.
Justin will come under greater suspicion when "Victoria's secret" is revealed.
The new Elvis corporate sponsors will release Elvis Pelvis Cialis. "The comeback special from heartbreak hotel." No more suspicious minds.
Britney and Christina will stop writing letters to each other. Christina will claim Britney asked her if "She can kiss like Madonna?"
Just a wild guess. Sony-BMG, Capitol, Columbia will all whine and cry foul and poverty by blaming slumping music sales on piracy again.
Ray Charles will clean up at the Grammy's and Oscars, proving once again that we honor the great ones too late.
To be politically correct after last year when the Grammy's honored "Artists who are left handed," this year they will categorize, "Right handed artists who are dyslexic."
A cheesy underground sex tape of Paris Hilton and Nick Carter will surface. Paris will be "embarrassed and ashamed."
The Paris and Nick tape will be found at the exact time of her CD release. Critics will claim she should be embarrassed and ashamed of her music.
Of course a lot of other events are sure to happen. What else do our readers feel is bound to happen, let us know.
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The last article was: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town 2004"
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