Quotes about and from Frank Zappa at the largest music humor site on the web. Check out the index for other performers we have quotes about and from.
All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.
Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
-speech to a pro-choice rally in Los Angeles around 1989-90
I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric -- there's no medical proof that a person hearing a lyric is going to act out the lyric. There's also no medical proof that if you hear any collection of vowels and consonants, that the hearing of that collection is going to send you to Hell.
interview, WRIF, 1985
There is no hell. There is only France.
- You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore
The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. 'You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.'
People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.
- The Real Frank Zappa Book
Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years?
- in 1988
Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?
- to a concert audience at the Rockpile Toronto, May 1969
Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.
- Statement to the Senate Hearing on 'Porn Rock' 1985
May your sh*t come to life and kiss you on the face.
- to Mrs. Gore about parental advisory labels on album covers
Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.
- at one of his trials, responding to a prosecuting lawyer who had quoted some of his lyrics which pertained to newts in a nightclub, after which which the lawyer said he found this image disturbing
I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow...
If there is anybody here who doesn't believe that it is so fucking great to be alive I wish they would go now 'cause this show will bring them down so much.
If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.
The true zen saying: Nothing is what I want.
If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mum, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your sh*t, then YOU DESERVE IT.
Information is not knowledge, Knowledge is not wisdom, Wisdom is not truth, Truth is not beauty, Beauty is not love, Love is not music and Music is THE BEST
Playing guitar is like fucking - you never forget it...... Unless you're really, really stupid.
Drop out of school, before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts...
There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
Never stop until your good becomes better, and your better becomes the best.
I have a message to deliver to the cute people of the world... if you're cute, or maybe you're beautiful... there's MORE OF US UGLY MOTHERF*CKERS OUT THERE THAN YOU ARE!! So watch out.
House lights, concert's over.
It can't happen here.
I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.
- Frank Zappa
Poodle bites, cmon Frenchy, poodle chews it, snap it!!
Some scientist say that the major building block of the universe is hydrogen because it's the most plentiful element but my theory is the universe is made of stupidity because it is MORE plentiful than hydrogen.
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
When I write about a turd I try to use as many metaphors as I can.
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