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Song Parodies -> "Scott Brown (Republican Upset for Ted Kennedy's Senate Seat)"

Original Song Title:

"Downtown"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Petula Clark

Parody Song Title:

"Scott Brown (Republican Upset for Ted Kennedy's Senate Seat)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

The first Republican to be elected to the US Senate from Massachusetts since the 1970s, taking the seat held by the iconic liberal Democrat, the late Edward M. Kennedy, for 46 years, and thereby breaking the Democrats' "super-majority" in the US Senate (60%, which can get "anything" passed. Now 59%.)

TT, neither Democrat nor Republican, analyzes the event (footnotes for non-US readers who might be interested):
When you've been choked
By campaign promises broken
You can go and vote:
Scott Brown
When a left-winger
Deals herself a good zinger, [1]
Mass-a-choose: emote:
Scott Brown

Just listen to the squawking of the folks 'bout their deceivin'
Voted for Obama; "Where's that 'change we can believe in'?"
Coakley: You lose

Guantanamo still is there [2]
They've seen the bribes, dealings double, to push his health care [3]
Votes go:
Scott Brown
Democrats' fate is poor
Polls down:
Thought Coakley's place: secure [4]
Scott Brown
Kennedy's seat is for you!
(Scott Brown)

Mass. voters frown
As with our problems, we founder
Still, our Congress blows
Lies found
Three hundred mil
To buy vote: Lou-i-si-ana
Such corruption shows:
"Ass-tound"

Just listen to the protests of the people of Boston-ia
Better listen to 'em, you, or you'll be overthrown, ya
Center again [5]

The "lights"? There's no "sunshine" there
You can forget about C-SPAN; in secret, health care, we'll go [6]
Crown? Clown!
Make all your deals in sight
Scott Brown
Proved that for sure, tonight
Plane down: Speak of my truck with spite: [7]
Out!

Scott Brown (pound ground)
Confound (rebound)

[fade to repeat in 2010 elections, because if nothing is learned from this, the present Congress will "fade" in November.]




[1] Brown's opponent, Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley, made a number of gaffes during the campaign. Some noteworthy ones:

(a) Referring to Boston (Mass.) Red Sox star baseball pitcher (and Scott Brown supporter) Curt Schilling as "another (New York) Yankee fan". (Somewhat on the order of saying that the best rugby player in Australia is a fan of the New Zealand All Blacks, if you get my drift.)

(b) Making a "mistake" while filing the financial disclosure forms for her Senate run, claiming to have *no personal assets* (She's the State Attorney General, and she's flat broke?) when in fact she had an account under her husband's name with over $200,000, and a personal IRA containing approximately $12,000.
(Aw, c'mon, what's a couple hundred K to US Senators whose corruption and tax evasion are usually measured in the millions, and their pork-barrel boondoggles in the billions?)

(c) Misspelling the name of her own state on a campaign poster.
(OK, it's not as easy as "Ohio" or "Iowa", but she's only, like, the Attorney General of it.)

[2] Candidate Obama vowed to close the detainee camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, "promptly" after being inaugurated. A year later (as of today), it's still there. He also reneged on the promise to end the military's "don't ask, don't tell" homophobia.

[3] The state of Louisiana was given a special 0 million incentive "sweetener" to get its vote for Obamacare. Also known to plain-speakers as a "bribe". That didn't make the health care plan, Obama, or the Democrats in Congress look any better. Nor did the bribe to the labor unions that they would be exempt from the "Cadillac Tax" (tax on high-value health insurance plans) that would be levied on the rest of us.

(TT is a member of two unions: the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA), but still doesn't think unions should get special treatment. What's right shouldn't be dependent on your personal benefits -- OMG, what a shocking idea!)

[4] Coakley was showing a comfortable 20-30 point lead in the polls a few months ago, but blew it to being roughly even shortly before the election. The Democratic Party blamed her gaffes (see [1]). The voters who were interviewed afterward blamed the Dems' broken promises in general, and specifically the deals to ram the unclear, expensive, special-interest-laden health care bill down their throats, including pushing a vote right around Christmas.

The result: a Mass rejection. (Non-US: The pun is that Mass. is the common abbreviation for the state of Massachusetts, other than postal abbreviations, which are all only two letters.)

[5] We tried a Neo-Con, right-wing, highly-polarizing government for a while; didn't work too well. So we overwhelmingly voted for "change": a left-wing, avowed Socialist, putting Communists in the Cabinet, and equally polarizing the country. Not working any better; actually, things are continuing to get worse.

Idea: Try dropping the extremes and getting back to common sense. (Maybe join TT in the Libertarian Party, and take away the Government's power to do all this harm in the first place, regardless of from which "wing" it originates?)

Whatever, the pundiTT predicts that those who don't learn from this event will suffer in the November 2010 general Congressional elections, regardless of party affiliation.

[6] Candidate Obama repeatedly (on video) promised that his proposed reform of health care would be debated in the open, "in sunshine", and on the cable channel C-SPAN, which covers Government matters, iincluding Congressional sessions. When the plan wasn't an immediate success, and the deals described in [3] became public, that promise was openly broken: The ongoing negotiations (read "deal-making") will be held in secret from here until whenever.

Let's see, how many broken promises does that make so far? (thinks, adds:) All of them.

[7] When the polls actually showed Coakley trailing a day or two before the election, the POTUS dropped all less pressing Presidential matters, got into Air Force One (the jet, not our writer), and, using fuel donated by Al Gore of course, flew to Boston to campaign for Coakley. He made the fatal error of poking fun at Scott Brown's ownership of a truck (with over 200,000 miles on it -- sounds more sensible than driving a limo or trading in your Mercedes every year; might be a good sign). There went the vote of every truck owner in Massachusetts.

(If the issue is fuel economy, do you want to bet that the Pres's joyride burned more fuel than whatever "excess" is consumed by the state's truck-owners in a year?)

I don't know much about Brown, not being a Mass. resident, but after his victory, he immediately called Sen. Kennedy's widow and promised that the Senator's name would be honored; did so in his victory speech, saying that he was proud to sit in the Senate seat occupied by (later-President) John F. Kennedy and Edward M. Kennedy; that the seat belonged to no one person and no one party, but to the people of the State of Massachusetts, and that he, Brown, belonged to no person, no party, no special interest, but only to his own conscience, the people of his State, and the people of the United States.

It was a very gracious speech. It would be nice if it works out that way.

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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Timmy1000 - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Good topical song. Looks like it could be filibuster time in the city (DC). Hooray for potential gridlock.
Remember - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Friends don't let friends vote Democrat!
Mark Scotti - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Boy, that really went into the 'Chappaquiddick"!!! 555 votes yea
adagio - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
What is the difference between a libertarian and a conservative, TT?
John Barry - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
You've aMASSed some fives.
Phil Nelson - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm also neither Democrat nor Republican and I liked it
Rice Cube - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
That's a lot of footnotes. I remember reading about the Schilling thing...Schilling is a pompous windbag but a heck of a ball player and considering what he did for Red Sox nation and for the D-Backs against the Yankees it speaks volumes of the Democratic candidate not doing her homework... I am for healthcare reform and hope the Republicrats can get something together before Medicare goes into the crapper.
Old Man Ribber - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
This seat belongs to the people of Massachusetts...and top scores belong to TT! Will the administration wake up? That's about as likely as...as a Republican senator from Massachusetts! ;D
Patrick - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
"Downtown" is a good vehicle for political songs. Did you have this one ready to go, waiting for the election results before you pushed the "submit" button? Let's hope this is just the beginning of a push to reverse 100 years of incremental socialism and take back our birthright as free Americans.
Fiddlegirl - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Darn fine pundiTTry... and an inspired choice of OS, particularly given the Democrats' Petula-nce today.

LOL @ "Mass-A-Choose-emote" and several other good lines. And agree that "common sense" seems to be anything *but* in D.C.
Phil Alexander - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Were Brown and Coakley really the best the two parties could manage? Sad, isn't it?
blackjack21 - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Timely Topical parody, well done. Mass-ive statement sent out by the voters on this one. Are you listening O?
Tommy Turtle - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Timmy1000: That's what was great when Clinton was in the White House and the Repubs owned Congress: Gridlock, so they couldn't do us any more harm. :) Thanks for v/c.

Remember: LOL! Thanks for v/c!

Mark Scotti: Bringing up the idiotic remark by Keith Olbermann (of MSNBC, a/k/a The Obama Channel) that Brown was "in favor of violence toward women". Some pundit beat TT to pointing out that the long-term previous owner of the seat deliberately let a woman drown in a car that had two hours' worth of air trapped in it, yet he called no one and let her die to save his "image". Violence against women? .... thanks for v/c!

adagio: Click the link to the LP and see... In brief, while both believe in limited government bound by the Constitution, low taxes and a balanced budget, Libertarians extend that to your personal choices in drugs, s*x, what you read (yeah, including pawrn), freedom not only *of* religion, but *from* religion, if one so chooses (no tax dollars to support the Ten Commandments or any other religious doctrine in public buildings, schools, etc.), esssentially returning religion to the private mattter it should be between you and your conscience.... There's a lot more, but if you'll look at my reply to John Barry's parody today, it will answer a question you asked me about Glen Beck at Barry's Beck-lobotomizing parody. Beck uses the L-word a lot, and he's pretty close. Thanks for v/c.

John Barry: Thanks. Wished your parody of the event had been more fact-specific, then would gladly have returned the compliment.

Phil Nelson: Have we met? Pleased to meet you, and thanks for the vote and comment!

Rice Cube: That's a very *few* footnotes for TT ;-) Try clicking the links to the E. Kennedy parodies (in the intro) to see a *lot* of footnotes -- or this one, which is practically a Doctoral dissertation:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean152.shtml
Anyway, thanks for the vote and comment -- I too hope that, as Brown said, "We can do better". (Funny: Crownd chanted back, "Yes, We Can!" -- ripping off Obama's campaign slogan.) Thanks for v/c!

Old Man Ribber: Miracles *do* happen! .... and as John Barry pointed out in his version of the event, "Dem slackers" cost them the seat. I hope they wake up, too, because I too live here. Thanks for v/c!

Patrick: With as close as the race was toward the end, no way. In fact, didn't even start to write it until the outcome was official -- why waste the time, in case he lost? (Yes, TT can write very quickly when needed -- used to write for radio; when a hot story broke, you had until 5pm that day to get your parody in so that they could play it the next day.) ... I do think it's a signal that the electorate isn't happy with the present Administration. Thanks for v/c.

Fiddlegirl: ROFL @ "Petula-nce"! What a sense of humor and punnery! .. .Hey! Ya wanna get together and co-write some songs some day? :-)

Phil Alexander: Apparently, but the same has been true for many years, of both parties, and extending right on up to the POTUS. There haven't been a lot of *good* choices, only the lesser of two evils many times. (Which is why TT votes Libertarian instead of for either evil). Yes, it's sad. Thanks for read, vote, and comment.
Warren Baker - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
My goodness, was that a footnote? Once again, you have made the ganglia twitch. Well done, TT. P.S...How do you get the spaces betwixt the lines in the Comments section? Secret handshake? High hemoglobin count? Or do you just will it so?
Tommy Turtle - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren Baker: I cheat.

Actually, despite the caption below the box, "No links or other code allowed", our gracious host has kindly (and wisely, IMHO) made a single exception for line breaks. It makes it much easier to read than the dreaded "wall of text", no? Good call on ChuckyG's part, surely.

How-to: To go to the next line, type [BR], except instead of the square brackets, use angle brackets. On US keyboards, the left angle bracket should be shift+comma, and the right angle bracket should be shift+period. So, (left angle bracket)BR(right angle bracket). No spaces inside the brackets. For a new paragraph, just do the above twice.

Since one picture is worth 1000 of TT's words, just hit View > Page Source and search for "Clinton" (no quotes). That will take you to TT's long comment above. Scroll through and you'll see the one very long paragraph, but with the above code tags (BR)(BR) in it.
... .And thanks for the v/c! - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Sorry,Warren, got distracted by the code discussion -- I distract easily.
TT @ blackjack21 - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Sorry, Blackie, our comments cross-posted. (IUh, *do* you have a short form nick that you prefer? :-D ) Then when I saw Warren's, yours was above my usual encyclical. ... Yeah, lame excuse for missing it, but it's the best I can come up with on short notice. ;)

Thanks for v/c! (Let's all send the link to the Pres, OK? ;) .... And guess what? A certain violinist has just sent me a brilliant inspiration (the only kind she has) and partial draft for a follow-up! "With A Little Bit Of Luck", it *could* be here tomorrow (Thursday, Chucky Time)!
Rad'iCally - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Really clever TT, and love yer up/down teeter-totter (or is that tweeter-plotter?) dualism today... better than the Sherman version!
Tommy Turtle - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Rad'iCally: Thanks for the v/c -- and thanks for being the only one to notice (or at least, to mention) the somewhat subtle connection between the two postings today, you Rad ras-cal, you! Sharp scanning, there!
Warren Baker - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for the clarity on the line breaks. Makes the writing clearer, for certain.
TT @ Warren Baker - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren: It's called HTML, and I think it stands for "Human-Turtle Mockery Language". ;-) .... Wanna know how to put in links to other songs, as in the intro, or do you already know?
adagio - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
TT, looked at JB's parody, but I disagree about lobotomizing, of course. Beck is one of my favorite tv people, who REALLY wants to get back to the constitution and limited government. Btw. I am a conservative.
TT @ adagio - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
While I hate to plug such fact-free, totalitarian hate speech, going back to JB's parody of 9/30/09,
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/jamestaylor67.shtml
you had said,
"I agree wth you totally, TT. You are obviosiously one who watches Beck...."

In truth, I'd never heard of him, as I said then. It was John's hateful name-calling (merely juvenile) and desire to drug or lobotomize those with whom he disagrees (Orwellian, "1984", very reminiscent of the USSR, Gulag Archipelago, etc.), that made me think this guy Beck might be worth listening to -- if nothing else than to reach my own conclusion.

I was actually pleasantly surprised, and do continue to watch occasionally. So something good came out of John's hateful rant after all.

I'm aware of your position on the political spectrum and support wholeheartedly both your right to your beliefs and your freedom to express them -- unlike John, who would drug and lobotomize everyone with whom he disagrees. What happens if someone comes into totalitarian power who feels the same as John, but disagrees with John? ... Peeps should think about that before recommending the curtailment of *anyone's* right to free speech.
adagio - January 24, 2010 - Report this comment
TT, I said the Conservative Party not the Constitution Party. Read up on it....esp Q&A on p. 7 on the
BR> .conservativepartyusa.com/CPUSA-Natl-PDF-PDF.pdf
Tommy Turtle - January 24, 2010 - Report this comment
adagio, I read the material and have no problem with it whatsoever. I never mentioned the Constitution Party at all .

The differences, if any, between the material you cited and that of the LP are minuscule in principle. Perhaps some difference in how to apply those principles to specific policy issues, but far less different than we both are from the Repubocrats. I think we have more in common in our conception of proper Government than you might believe. Thanks for the follow-up.
adagio - January 24, 2010 - Report this comment
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