Introduction: What happens when people try their hand in the music industry, when they should just stick to their day job?
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Article by: Billy Parker
"Oak tree you're in my way." A classic Lynyrd Skynyd line derived from an auto accident after a night of partying hard. Whiskey drinking, hellraising- were all a part of Skynyrd's lifestyle beyond making music. So it's no surprise when touring England they found themselves mouthing off, swinging fists, and involved in another barroom brawl. Their opponents of choice? The (are you ready for this) Metropolitan Police Boxing Team. Local tavern tough guys meet professional fighters, hardly a contest. Both Gary Rossington and Artimus Pyle are knocked unconscious and would require medical attention.
Lesson? Just stick to what you does best (music) and leave your misguided, cocky visions of invincibility to the experts. It's a lesson that's always seems to be learned the hard way. Just ask Skynyrd.
Lisa Marie why are you making music? Please just go back to being Scarlet and marry men you really don't love. If you need to express your feeling, then write a book.
Did anybody catch Mick Jagger acting in a film last year? (The man from Elysian Fields) In between sold out world tours Mick is stricken with the acting bug once again. Mick, please just go back to sleeping with women on tour you really don't love.
It's an age-old predictable pattern. Lot's of hard work finally pays off and you hit the big-time. For a while you've got the King Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to gold and platinum. Seas of loyal fans tell you how wonderful you are. Your ass-kissing entourage consistently tells you how great you are. "Wow superstar! Just look at how brilliantly you matched the colors of your sports socks with the ribbons in your hair!" Then it hits you. "I should be a fashion designer!"
Certainly anyone can have a novel hobby and even pick up a few bucks at it. But so many are shocked when the criticism comes and the venture fails. In the words of one mocking critic, "Please Jewel, Please Jewel, Please Jewel, don't write anymore poetry."
Can we just be succinct about Madonna and her motion picture ambitions? Return to making videos about sex with everyone and anyone you really don't love. (Except yourself.)
Of course, egotistical undertakings are hardly limited to the musical field. Scores of actors and well-known personalities have projected their face from restaurants to being experts at foreign policy.
Sometimes an artist feels compelled to give rock & roll a try. Pat Boone, the squeaky clean crooner, released a CD of Heavy Metal music-In a Metal Mood- a few years back-guests included Ronnie James Dio and Ritchie Blackmore. I'm simply exhausted waiting for the follow-up, aren't you? Must be a scheduling conflict.
Not all endeavors result in more embarrassment for the fans than for the artist themselves. Herb Albert (of the Tijuana Brass fame) enjoyed tremendous success as the "A" in A & M records. Eminem received good grades for his 8 Mile performance last year. Even The Osborne's have scored a smash hit. But maybe they're on to something. Their audience loves them for being themselves. Trying to be something your not is what gets so many into trouble. If want to have a hobby, fine.
There are those that keep the prospective in check. Stephen King loves to play Rock & Roll; his band Rock Bottom Remainders consists of several well-known Writers. They actually tour and have a few CD's out. Proceeds are donated to charity. In the words of guitarist Dave Barry, "The band plays music as well as Metallica writes novels."
All in fun, the band records on "Don't Quit Your Day Job" records. This recording company could easily branch out into other avenues of celebrity entertainment. After all, we know the demand is there. At least from the celebrity point of view anyway.
There are plenty examples of this. Who else belongs on "Don't quit your day job?"
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The next article is: "Too Old To Rock & Roll Too Young To Die"
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