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Song Parodies -> "99 Words for Boobs"

Original Song Title:

"99 Luftballons"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"99 Words for Boobs"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics (Funny Music Project) whips out a nice pair (pun intended) of funny songs each week. Robert Lund's recording of this song marks his FuMP debut. Hop on.
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true
We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 172

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   1
 3   5
 4   24
 5   134

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
#100: Milk Duds. Size 555.
Agrimorfee - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Addenda: Actually, and fittingly, there are only 69 here. ;)
Jack Wilson - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Sanjaya Malakar is a boob too if ya know what I mean. Anwyays back to this, that was AWESOME! I LMAO, great great job! The OS is great too. I guess you can call it the most embarrassing song to be caught dancing to LOL
Matthias - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
You should make it into a video, not because I'm a pervert (okay, yes that is the reason you got me), but so that MTV can show it on the boob-tube
Ravyn Rant - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Coffee, meet monitor. 555
QC79 - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Don DeLillos??? 555!
Rex - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought I was the only one who remembered Screaming Yellow Zonkers. You certainly keep abreast of this topic.
Yoidy - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This left me in a titter fit! Bra size: 555 inches
alvin - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
i howled favorite of the day... its always a good day when spaff makes an appearance here
TJC - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Absolutely Top Rack Premium Pair-ody, Spaff! There’s certainly NO filler in these D-cup-lets! (Brought to mind welcome splat’mospheric slo-mo images of Bo Derek in her prime…)
Ann Hammond - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Cant touch mine
Hollajuku - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This is amazing! My, the things that creative minds can come up with. Let me give you a perfect score for this.
AFW - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Great idea and hilarious writing...the only one I didn't see was "Puppies"...unless I missed it
stuart mcarthur - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
physics tutors, elmer fudds and jogging partners were my faves, but where the hell did you get all these? and how many did your wired brain create itself? - each one is funny, but getting them all to rhyme made the whole thing hilarious - oh, and thanks for the nod to my Rubber Boobs :-) 555
Rick C - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
"Double-WMD's" was my favorite but, there were twenty others fighting for second place. Funny as hell!
Red Ant - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
My favorite came early: "frost detectors". Perhaps one of Robert's best recordings, you guys make quite a pair. =) 555. - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Ravyn & Wrecks & Yoidy & TJC & Hollajuku & AFW & Red! Aggro: I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. You win the booby prize! The count was intentional and we even considered naming this "69 Words for Boobs," but it just sounded too porno. Local Celeb: It's really too bad about Sanjaya. He was going to sing this next week. Did you hear he got named "Today's Girl" on Maxim Online? QC79: My apologies to Mr. DeLillo. His name was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. St Matthias: Please please produce a video for this. I'd like to see it too. alvin: It's always a good day for me when I can hang out with you pervs. Ann: My Hammer Won't Hurt 'Em. s2art: I threw in a few obvious old standbys, but for the rest my goal was to contribute something to the lexicon. If even one of these catches on, my life will have had meaning. I'm ashamed to say I'd spaced off "99 Rubber Boobs" until I came up with my title and searched it, but I loved your parody (and still do), so it must have had at least a subconscious influence. Rick: Just yesterday I heard a great parody about boobs (or, more specifically, titties); I'll be commenting on it soon. - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess I still can't do line breaks. Bummer.
Kristof Robertson - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Aaaahhhh, breasts! Between you and Mr Range, I think you've written the Mammary Thesaurus, Spaff. Very witty with the titty...555
Jack Wilson - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL thatd be great to hear him sing this NOT! LOL yeah I saw that, Im glad he's gone now
Claude Prez - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
This is great!! Can't wait for the German version: "Doppelgangers/ Fahrvergnugens/ Achtung Babies/ Uber-snoogins..." Awesome recording too.
Jonathan S. - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll put this nicely: I can't say it's as good as "Sexist Racist Classist Ageist Homophobic Ignoramus" or "Iranian Uranium." Sorry.
Dylan Baranski - April 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey, by now, it is becoming apparent to me that this Sanjaya dude is some dude from American Idol. I don't watch American Idol, and I'm almost like a 20th century rebel, so I had no idea what all the hubbub about him was.
Jonathan S. - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Actually, I have to put it a different way; as ridiculous an idea as this is (it's just a list of synonyms), I'm beginning to think maybe Spaff's running out of good ideas. I mean, making up silly names for, uh, that part of the body is one thing, BUT A WHOLE SONG OF JUST THAT??!!?! As I said, I thought "SRCAHI" was funnier.
That guy you dont know, maybe, I dunno - August 01, 2007 - Report this comment
That is the breast...(ahem) breast...well done - August 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Kristof: Thanks, man. And, yeah, for those who missed it, Dee Range's parody is linked in the footnotes. It's a hoot. Er, or two.

Jackie & Dylan: Isn't he working on a collaboration with William Hung?

Claude: Where ya been? I emailed Falco asking him to do your German version, but for some reason I haven't heard back.

Jonathan: You'll enjoy puberty.

That guy: Thanx. They get me all tongue-tied too.
Mitch - September 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Great stuff! And I can easily think of about 10 more. Just shows how much we all love BOOBS! - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Mitch. And "love" doesn't begin to describe it.
wim kilde - October 14, 2007 - Report this comment
funny and nena should shave her
Hung - October 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Love it! - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Wim Kilde: Pity - Wim Wenders can't reverse his initials like that. And I can't say I've ever noticed Nena's armpits. Hmm. Sexy.

Hung: Well!
PLANEFXR2 - November 26, 2007 - Report this comment
SUGAR BABES - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Cornhusker - December 24, 2007 - Report this comment
You can't knock the quality of this parody. If you tried, you should knock softly, but firmly. The parody artist seems to prefer soft firm knockers.
Dan Saul Knight - January 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Liked this so much I had to make a video... - February 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Cornhusker: I can't hear the word knockers without thinking of Gene Wilder and Teri Garr's knockers scene in the movie Young Frankenstein. If you don't know what I mean, go watch it right now.

Dan Saul Knight: I'm sorry YouTube removed that one, but I'm one of the nearly half-million people (so far) who've seen your replacement video and I love it:
Nice name, too, by the way. Do I know you? Drop me a line: spaff at spaff dot com
Max - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment
wow...its soo to know the lyrics real clear when i saw it here...c (.)(.)l one... - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
lol. Or, rather: l(o)(o)l
SP - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Brilliant. How do I get this as a mobile phone ring tone? - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, SP. And I give up - make one yourself?
Melly - June 19, 2008 - Report this comment
o wow.... one of my favorite songs and you redid it.... sounds like a song my friend jon would use as his theme song.... anyway its hilarious keep doing what you do - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, Melly. I will. All the best to Jon.
nitin - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment
how nice of you that you had launchd 99 synonyms of the boobsssssssssssss
Bare-A-Boob Tribe - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment
To the Staff at Spaff: These B's are busy !
Max Power - October 23, 2008 - Report this comment Too bad pepsistuff didn't have your albums being offered as one of the prize...would've been great - October 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, nitin (which is backwards for nitin) & Bare-A-Boob (my favorite tribe!) & Max Power. I think there are like 10 videos of this now. I've listed all the ones I've found as favorites on my YouTube channel:
Nub - February 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Theres only 70 words for boobs in this song >.> - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Mitch - July 30, 2010 - Report this comment
The Gold Standard parody of 99 Luftballons. Some good video to got with the song on YouTube. - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanx, Mitch. I prefer to think of it as the "golden bozos" standard.
Darius - January 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Go see a better Uncensored Version of this Song at
LJ - January 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Brilliant, except you forgot one obvious synonym for boobs: Jonathan S.
Green Mountains - January 30, 2012 - Report this comment
#101 is "pineapples". Listen to "Strobe Light" by the B-52's. Great job.
Jack Wilson - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Imagine if this is what Seth MacFarlane sang at the Oscars
The Stars On 45 Keep On Burning In Your Mind - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Remember the big dance hit STARS ON 45? Soon afterward Dr. Demento on the radio played a parody - BRA SIZE 45.

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