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Song Parodies -> "Kim Had Better Days With Rhymes"

Original Song Title:

"Bette Davis Eyes"

Original Performer:

Kim Carnes

Parody Song Title:

"Kim Had Better Days With Rhymes"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Watch the video here. Special thanks to Stu McArthur for the inspiration to finish up this song satire.

Her song was solid gold
With that voice, oh my!
The story seldom told:
Kim had better days with rhymes
Let's turn the music on her
I don't have to play nice
Though by now you all know
Kim had better days with rhymes..

Hear her straining
Nothing gaining
All the list'ners are complaining
Is she jokin'?
Must be smokin'-
- rocks 'cause - all those rhymes are broken!
She had - such a bang-up title line
Kims needs - better ways with rhyme...

I'd let her take me home
And keep me "up" all night
I'd give her long, hard "O"s!
('cause then maybe she could rhyme!)
But still she fumbles on through
Lyrics far from sublime
It's more like Betty Boop
Kim had better days with rhymes

"But she's famous!"
Still they're heinous!
Face it: she is no Tori Amos!
Plain atrocious
Lost her focus-
- so justs - throws us hocus pocus
Magic act? - think it's a crime
Kim needs - better ways with rhyme...


Sure, I tease her
And I freeze her
'cause her song induces seizures!
'nother chorus
Here to bore us-
-barren sea? that lacks a porpoise!
Awful puns - set them aside
Kim needs - better ways with rhyme...

Still trying

Song is dying

We're not buying
Kim had better days with rhymes

Voice still going

Music's slowing

I showed ya
Kim needs better ways with rhyme...

copyright 2007+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Was the smoking rocks statement from my comment, please tell me that it was, because that would totally make my year. If not Kim still does have the worst voice in the world, well besides William Hung she has the worst voice in the world, at least Stefani can sing...
Jack Wilson - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Never really cared for that OS much either,awesome job, I love parodies like this. Its not that bad,but not the best.
alvin rhodes - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
putrid OS....but wonderful parody
Ferragamo - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice play on this song, man. For a long time I never cared for the original, but these days I don't mind it; to me it's preferable to other stuff. 5-5-5.
Adagio - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Good ironic twisting on her song, Jack. I enjoyed it. 5's
AFW - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
To paraphrase an old adage: Mighty jokes from a Carnes grow..
Stephen Harrington - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
555, a funny and clever play.
PMS - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
I have always hated the OS. You mauled it real well.
Double You Tee Eff? - January 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Who the hell voted ones on this? This was NOT off paced. I'd like to blast that moron to smithereenies. (I guarantee you it wasn't me.)
Paul Robinson - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
This kinda cracked me up, Jack...yeah, it was a strange OS, wasn't it? Liked the "Tori Amos" reference...since I'm a big fan of hers...don't know too many other parodies on the site that make that reference...although I did at least once or maybe this be described and "Carne-age"? 5's ~ ~ ~
Agrimorfee - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Carnes you feel the love tonight? 555
Red Ant - January 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Matthias, Jack, Alvin, Ferragamo, Pat, AFW, Step-chan, PMS, Double...,Paul and Agrimorfee.

Matthias: If it'll totally make your year, then yes, I got the idea from your comment. =)

Paul, AFW, and Aggy: Great puns there. You guys should be writers or something, heh heh.

Double You Tee Eff: I'm guessing a Kim Carnes fan dropped by: it's good to know she still has "one".

And wow, I didn't realize how many people disliked TOS... FTR, I think Kim's voice was pretty good... granted, she was no Stevie Nicks, but she's hardly the worst singer I've come across.
Stuart McArthur - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
aha - sorry I missed this Jack - very funny - it's always been a bugbear for me that precocious/pro blush rhyme, but you make an excellent point when, given the circumstances, (then maybe she could rhyme!) - and groan to the "barren sea? that lacks a porpoise" - 555
Tommy Turtle - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
At the risk of spoiling the fun, Kim Carnes didn't write it... it was written by Donna Weiss and Jackie DeShannon, according to ht*tp://

And TOS had one incredible line: "She's pure as New York snow" -- what an image!

With that out of the way, great lines here; besides what's already mentioned, "up all night/Os" "Betty Boop" and, of course, the marine reference, even if to a mammal. 555, easily.
Matthias - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
My year has been made. I wouldn't mind giving Kim some long hard "O's" myself.
Agrimorfee - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Nice to read it again the first time, still got a good giggle.
Guy - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-K) Don't think Kimmy and/or friends Donna & Jackie would do well here on amiright. They should just stick to their snick writings so we can have things to improve upon and rip to pieces. Release the hounds! Well done Ant.
stuart mcarthur - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4K) I remember this well, and it's even better on this read, Jack - excellent idea as always and I liked the Tori Amos rhyme
Below Average Dave ( - January 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABCK) This one is amazingly funny Ant. . .one of your best rips ever, and she most certainly isn't Tori Amos. . .the only even minor confusion was the Betty Boop reference, I don't get it, but the whole thing was so funny that it didn't matter. . .
Cat - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yet another brilliant song skewering—I kinda like the OS, but I think she sounds like a female Rod Stewart! Anyway, this had lots of great subs and clever lines.
Mikey Squirrel - January 23, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- This was a very funny read. Loved the part about lacking 'porpoise'. Very well done, Ant.
Red Ant - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey thank you everyone.
cg - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
good concepts

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