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Song Parodies -> "The Juggler"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Juggler"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Not to be confused with Royce's parody of the same name, this one's a load of balls. So to speak.
On a warm summer's evening
In an underground station
I came across a juggler
He was playing with his balls
Flying through the air
In an intricate pattern
I stopped and watched and wondered
To see if any falls

He said son I've made my life
Outta readin' peoples faces
And knowing that they're thinkin'
"Now how does he do that?"
And if you don't mind a-payin'
To get in my good graces
It ain't no waste of money
If you toss it in that hat

So I threw him in some coppers
And he smiled to say "Thank you"
Then he bummed a cigarette
His balls still in the air
And I wondered how he did it
He read my awed expression
Said "guess you're wondering the same, boy
Can I keep 'em all up there"

He said that one ball is easy
Two's easy-peasy
Three's kinda simple
Hell, so is four
Jugglin' five, six or seven
Takes a bit more concentration
But with skill, determination
You won't drop 'em on the floor

But then this juggler said
To add a bit of int'rest
He'd filled one little ball up
With nitroglycerine
And now and then at random
He'd drop and bounce another
And I screamed out "Oh brother"
(Or maybe something more obscene)

I turned and started running
As fast as I was able
My aim to run as quickly and
As far's I could get
Behind me in the darkness
A bang! The floor a-heavin'
The juggler played his final jugglin'
Russian roulette

Because one ball was loaded
And it exploded
So now I guess there's bits o' juggler's
Balls on the floor
Guess giving him some money
Was a bloody good idea
That ka-BOOM sounded near
As I sprinted through the door

He said that one ball is easy
Two's easy-peasy
Three's kinda simple
Hell, so is four
Jugglin' five, six or seven
Takes a bit more concentration
But with skill, determination
You won't drop 'em on the floor

He said that one ball is easy
Two's easy-peasy
Three's kinda simple
Hell, so is four
Jugglin' five, six or seven
Takes a bit more concentration
But with skill, determination
You won't drop 'em on the floor

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Susanna Viljanen - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Now do it with 555 balls, ermh?
Matthias - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
My father went the same way..... -cries- What's in the past, is in the past.... And what is good, is good.... And this is good, thus you get 5's
Yoidy - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Here's 555 balls for you to juggle!
PMS - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Fa-ball-ous!
Tommy Turtle - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Goes for the juggler vein... nice touch to mention Royce's (more people should do that)... funny twist toward the end. Five Great Balls o' Fire.
alvin rhodes - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
i love the concept of juggling-russian roulette style...lol
Jack Wilson - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome job, 555!
Red Ant - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I had a bit of trouble getting this to scan, but I know a recording (which would we great) would probably sound right. Love parodies where the subject is a candidate for a Darwin Award.
Below Average Dave - January 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I still 555'd you, but I didn't feel the pacing was up to your normal standard, still terrific though and maybe I'm off, I think I'll second the recording opinion of Red Ant. . .I won't doubt a veteran's pacing. . .
Ann Hammond - January 09, 2007 - Report this comment
What a great subject!
Phil Alexander - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry if the pacing seems off: I've sung it through using the karaoke backing track I've used for my other Gambler parody recordings, and it all goes - if I can find a spare half an hour, I'll record it (though I have another one I'd like to do first, so don't hold your breath).
TT - "The Jugular" would make a good 'un, too...
RA - there's been some great candidates for Darwin Awards recently - have to see if I can get any to scan :-)
Matthias - your father went juggling balls full of nitroglycerine? I hope it's not a genetic trait...
Michael Pacholek - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
You're right, Phil. Five does require concentration. You've concentrated well.
Tommy Turtle - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Phil, go for it. Here's a start, with my compliments:

In a warm, throaty sleeving
Parallel with carotid
The vein that's called the jug'lar
Blood is draining from the brain
It's deox-y-genated
So returns to corona
Through the upper vena cava
To circulate again.

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