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Song Parodies -> "Royce Miller"

Original Song Title:

"Goldfinger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Royce Miller"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

The author was mortified to have fallen into the classic (though mathematically correct) newbie faux pas of assuming Royce Miller was male. He therefore takes time 'twixt tabulating taxes to proffer this and its companion parody, "A Girl Named Royce", , in atonement. Inspired by *To All the Bras I've Loathed Before © Royce Miller, and by AmIRighters' critiques of myself at "Johnny D-man (and others): Vol. I of Turtle Trilogy". NOTE TO CG: The joke is on me, not on Royce. I love the guy - I mean, gal. :-)
Royce Miller
"He's" the "man", the "man" with the acid pen
A flaccid pen!

Such a voice triller
Beckons you; "his" hair has such silken swirl:
"He's" just a girl!!!

Par-o-dies she will sing in your ear
But her thighs can't disguise what you fear
For a pretty girl knows when she's kissed her
Not a man! - no,
She's a Sister!

Royce Miller
AmIRight, beware of her nom de plume
And don't assume!

Macho name, claim to fame was brassiere*
But she's really a girl, not a queer
So, although you think
Satire's vexed her
You will find that
You've mis-sexed her!

Royce Miller
Manly men, beware 'ere you thump your chests
This chest has breasts!

Odds are 16 - 1 "Royce" is male**
Here's the one place percentages pale
So, remember this: she's Eve, not Adam
Call her "Mister"??? -- Death! It's "Madam"

Royce Miller
Learn from me: book judgments by covers fail
Royce is fe-male!
On pen, self: impale
She's female
So fe-male
With song, Royce I hail
So fe-male
She's fem-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ale!


One more verse than the OS, because, as others have said at times, I was having too much fun with it! **A Web authority states that in the US, the name "Royce" is given to 1 in 6250 males, and to 1 in 100,000 females. Ergo, by simple (?) math, any given "Royce" is sixteen times more likely to be male than female. (Q.E.D.) So, no offense, Royce, sweetie - we were all just playing the percentages with the "male" assumption! OS lyrics might be here. © 2006 Tommy Turtle

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 3
 2
 
 2   3
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
pretty funny stuff here
TT - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
alvin, thanks.
Larry Hensley - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Really funny.
TT - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Larry.
Michael Pacholek - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
"Just a girl"? I think she's a bit more than that.
TT - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I think so too, Michael... thanks for reading.
Royce Miller - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tommy--and thanks, Michael P
TT - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Ms. Royce, thanks! :)
dorothy - July 04, 2006 - Report this comment
how do I find the song fifty ways to lose your blubber
TT - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
dorothy, you can click (over on the left side of the page) "Music Parody by Performer", then P for Paul Simon, go down to the OS and find Royce's parody. Or if you know it's by Royce, go to her page: "Music Parody - Parody Authors" - search and find Royce, then search her page. Note: Some of the parodies are under the number "50", and some under the word "Fifty". This one is under "Fifty". Google also works: Put in the title + amiright. It came up on the top.

Anyway, I'll save you the trouble: 3w.amiright.com/parody/70s/paulsimon11.shtml (change the 3w to three W's).

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Link To This Page

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