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Song Parodies -> "Caught on the Door Handle"

Original Song Title:

"Club Can't Handle Me"

Original Performer:

Flo Rida ft. David Guetta

Parody Song Title:

"Caught on the Door Handle"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2010 self-challenge (which I forgot to mark on the last three entries...whoops). Has this ever happened to you? Cause it happens to me way too friggin' often.
Hate when I go-o round
And my groove gets absolutely thro-own out
Get caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (oh-oh-oh-oh)
So if you hear me scream lots of swea-ears now (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah) (ha-ha)
Yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah (those damn door handles get me down)
Yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah (wish I could remove 'em, just lose 'em)

Hey, I've got a cord that's wrapped around myself
For my music player, I love to belt
The lyrics loud, but what upsets that
Is when the door handle grabs it, yeah
Hasn't caused me to lose balance yet
But I lose my place in the song, then
Worst case unplugs the buds, not fair
Shuts the player down, drives me spare
Tell me to be less careless
Up my spatial awareness
Done that, it still keeps happ'nin'
Won't change the fact it's bullshit, ey
I hate this, I loathe this
Obnoxious, it's bollocks
Can't hold in my loathin'
You know it

Hate when I go-o round
And my rhythm gets completely thro-own out
Get caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (oh-oh-oh-oh)
So if you hear me freak and yell swea-ears now (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Hey, those door handle pricks snag way more than just cords
Inside sleeves they'll also go
Easier with singlets, but I know
Possible with standard T-shirts, bro
Either way, I'm hangin' on the door
Spillin' my coffee on the floor
Even rips the shirt and that's no joke
Strong door? Crappy shirt? I don't know
Tugs hard, won't let me go
I sigh and try to dislodge like so
It, like, takes five seconds but it still blows
Now I gotta clean the coffee spill, oh yeah
I wasted my bev'rage
Because of this bullshit
I've said it, I hate it
You get it

Hate when I go-o round
And my good pace gets totally thro-own out
Get caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (oh-oh-oh-oh)
So if you hear me deal out the swea-ears now (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah

It seems no matter how (yeah)
I try to dodge it now (yeah)
That bastard handle goes and lodges in my sleeve now
Stay out my armpit, man
I've got snacks in my hand
Want that ho-old stro-ong, ri-ight
I may think I'm clear but then it turns out it's so near (yeah)
That thing might just rip out my shoulder blade, oh dear (yeah)
Knob-shaped, it wouldn't work
But it is a jerk
Off the handle I'll fly-y no-ow

Hate when I go-o round
And my smooth steps get brutally thro-own out
Get caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (oh-oh-oh-oh)
So if you hear, unbleeped, all the swea-ears now (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah (such a, such a sharp tug)
I'm caught on the door handle, gets me-e down (yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Yeah (it brings me right down), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Yeah (such a sharp tug), yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah (wish it would cut it out)

This'd be the one thing that wireless earbuds would be actually useful for, IMO.

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