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Song Parodies -> "Pr-Pr-Pr-Procreate"

Original Song Title:

"Poker Face"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

I met a sadist doctor of fertility (Whee!)
Said I wanna grow a jungle from my family tree (I want it)
He said quadruplet sets are buy one, get one free
And punched my one-way ticket to reality TV

(O-o-o-o-cho, o-o-o-o-o-cho)
Why stop at one? Octuple your fun!
(O-o-o-o-cho, o-o-o-o-o-cho)
Hey look I've got - a whole football squad!

Can't stop my X and Y
So just stand by while I procreate
[She's tryin' multiplyin']
Can't stop my mommy drive
So just take five while I procreate
[She's lovin' reproduction]

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate

I like in vitro when you give it to me rough (Ooh!)
And Dick Van Patten lied 'cause eight is not enough (That bugger)
When I feed two at once I start to miss the rest
So now my plastic surgeon's gonna give me six more breasts [Yes!]

(O-o-o-o-cho, o-o-o-o-o-cho)
Hey count again - I thought I had ten
(O-o-o-o-cho, o-o-o-o-o-cho)
It's evident: my womb is for rent

Can't afford any more
I still assure you I'll procreate
[Vocation: replication]
I should share my welfare
But I don't care, I just procreate
[Need sitters for her litters]

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate


I'm not bluffin' that my muffin is for nothin' close to lovin'; it's for shovin' one more bun into my oven 'til I reach a dozen

So I'm the hostess with the mostest cell meiosis, and my closest diagnosis is eight doses of psychosis - holy Moses!

Got a need: gotta breed
There's donor seed and I procreate
[She's wanting rampant spawning]
I'm in pain, I'm insane
But I like fame so I procreate
[Prolific and horrific]

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate

(c) 2009+
Thanks to Phil Alexander for letting me steal "football squad" and "six more breasts" from "Eight Babies - Eek!"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   0
 4   2
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - May 22, 2009 - Report this comment
That was amazing as usual Spaff!!! I knew Octomom was going to get hit with your usual touch of Spaffstick! Fantastic recording as well (And I love Lady Gaga... Or in this case it's more like Baby GoGo)
alvin - May 22, 2009 - Report this comment
lmao...especially liked the dick van patten line
Joel Martinez - May 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Like a friend once told me "Wow, a bit disturbing, but funny!"
Christie Marie M - May 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Yaaaay...another Lady GaGa parody if I ever see one! I've been listening to her a lot lately. Very creative lyrics and love the way you switched choruses. I echo all comments above. I would give you 8's but would you settle for 5's instead? Great job as always, Spaff!
TJC - May 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Ditto alvin... also "Six more breasts"! LOL... Octolarious!
Phil Alexander - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I was so looking forward to hearing the recording of this - to anyone who hasn't had a listen, do so. It's brilliant. Lyrically wonderful, too :-)
Adam Eccleshall - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Great, Spaff. Loved the "...hostess..." line :)
GaGa for SpaFa - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Great treat, especially when enjoyed to your, well, 'pro-' recording!
Jack Wilson - May 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved it! 555
Gari J - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment that was absolutely perfect parodying their pacing is spot on as well as the factual references. I did a spoof on this song myself but this blows it out of the water 555' babies for you - June 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Where are my manners?! (It's a rhetorical question. Please don't answer.)

Thanx, Matthias & alvin & Joel & CMM & TJC & Philbo & Adam & GaGa & Jackie & Gari! And thanks again, Phil, for the inspiration.

For those who haven't heard the recording, you simply must. Cari Golden's vocals are Gagalicious and Bob Emmet (Project Sisyphus) did a fanfreakingtastic job on the music and production. Follow the link in my intro comment.
Medemia - June 27, 2009 - Report this comment
First time I heard this, it blew me away. AMAZING SONG! One of my favorite in quite a long time. - August 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanx, Medemia. I'm thrilled beyond repair with Bob and Cari's performances on this one.
Red Ant - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
So I'm six months late to the party here, better than six months late... anyway, this was freaking fabulous, possibly the best recording and funniest lyrics you've done. In a word: perfection. - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jack. I pr-pr-pr-preciate it.

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