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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Coldplay

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


A Rush of Blood to the Head album at Amazon.com
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
"It's a haggis waiting to be tamed... "
The Real Lyrics:
"His heart is waiting to be tamed... " (I think!)
The Story: I love Coldplay and was listening over and over to 'Clocks' on YouTube -- in the next stanza after Chris Martin sings, "....shoot an apple off my head" I swear I hear him sing "...it's like a haggis waiting to be tamed... " -- Now, a haggis is the Scottish national dish -- a sheep's stomach filled with oats and other grains, suet, onions, etc., and served with 'Scot's gravy' -- single malt whiskey. I really don't think Coldplay meant this song to be 'An Ode to a Haggis' but I can't sort out the lyrics in that one stanza. - Submitted by: Beth
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And I'm feeling skanky.
The Real Lyrics:
And nothing else compares.
The Story: For the longest time I tried in vain to figure out what he was really saying until I finally gave up and looked up the lyrics. The timing is all screwed up the way he sings it, as if 'thingelse' is one word. It's more like 'And noooooooooo thingelse compares' - Submitted by: Brian
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Children like to pull my hair.
The Real Lyrics:
Shoot an apple off my head.
The Story: Boy, does Chris Martin mumble. And yes, I actually did mishear the lyrics as this. It's kind of weird to think of him singing about children pulling his hair considering he barely has any! (hair, that is.) - Submitted by: Cat
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Coffee shop never stops.
The Real Lyrics:
Confusion never stops.
The Story: The idea of a 24hr, always-busy coffee shop somehow fits in nicely with this song. - Submitted by: Andrea
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
F*** me down upon my knees.
The Real Lyrics:
You've put me down upon my knees.
The Story: I played this to a friend from the East Coast to give her a taste of Coldplay, and her eyes bugged out. Then she almost choked & swallowed her gum. I had no idea why she was so shocked. Then she replied, 'You listen to that kind of stuff?!' It took a lot of explaining & looking up the real lyrics on the net before she figured out what was really going on! - Submitted by: Fanelia
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I could not stop the China Gnome.
The Real Lyrics:
I could not stop that she now knows.
The Story: And all this time, I thought they were talking about the dying race of mystical China Gnomes. - Submitted by: Kevin D!
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
My arms smell so skunky
The Real Lyrics:
Nothing else compares.
The Story: This is what it sounded like. Quite different from what Chris really is saying . - Submitted by: Dianne
Coldplay's, "Clocks"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Vomitando por naliz.
The Real Lyrics:
Have brought me down upon my knees.
The Story: In Spanish, the misheard phrase means "Vomiting through the nose". - Submitted by: Glenn O'Brien
Coldplay's, "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I put my red coat on
The Real Lyrics:
I turn the music up, I got my records on
The Story: My mum misheard it. We were watching one of Coldplay's concerts and she looked at me confused during the song and said, "He put his red coat on? Red doesn't suit him" - Submitted by: Emma
Coldplay's, "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I turn the music up, I got my rainboots on
The Real Lyrics:
I turn the music up, I got my records on
The Story: First time I hear the song, I asked my friend if he was saying "rainboots." He's totally saying rainboots. The song's about waterfalls, right? - Submitted by: Taylor
Coldplay's, "Fix You"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Knights will guide you home
The Real Lyrics:
Lights will guide you home
The Story: Thought the song had a nice mediaeval ring to it but ah well - Submitted by: SK
Coldplay's, "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Don't ever say you're on your way downwind.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't ever say you're on your way down,when...
The Story: I always wonderer why Chris Martin was singing 'Don't ever say you're on your way downwind.' Then I realised in another part of the song he just sang 'Don't ever say you're on your way down' and that was it. Part of me woke up and thought maybe he's not singing 'downwind',maybe it's just 'down' followed by 'when',then the next line. Sure enough, every time I listen to that song now I wonder how I could've been so stupid! - Submitted by: melendez
Coldplay's, "High Speed"
The Misheard Lyrics:
We never learnt to read.
The Real Lyrics:
We never learn, do we?
The Story: I've heard this song heaps of times, being a massive Coldplay fan, but it suddenly occurred to me that this could be the lyric instead. Now, I always hear it that way... - Submitted by: Andrew
Coldplay's, "Ink"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Got a tattoo said 'together through life'
Cover your name with my pocket knife
The Real Lyrics:
Got a tattoo said 'together through life'
Carved in your name with my pocket knife
The Story: Since it's a break up album, I thought Chris was singing about covering/hiding his wife's name that was tattooed on his skin, because they broke up so Chris was in pain and had to find ways to let his wife go. - Submitted by: Mattias
Coldplay's, "Square One"
The Misheard Lyrics:
As if you've been run through
Some catapulted fire tube.
The Real Lyrics:
As if you've been run through
Some catapult, it fired you.
The Story: I always wanted to know what a fire-tube was. I had visions of those circus acts of a bloke being catapulted through a tube, but one that was on fire. - Submitted by: tastyfish
Coldplay's, "Square One"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I need a kompis
Drive me under.
The Real Lyrics:
I need a compass
Draw me a map.
The Story: Chris sings really high. I couldn´t hear what he was singing. BTW, kompis in Swedish means 'friend'. I understood he wasn´t singing in Swedish, but it really sounds like kompis. - Submitted by: Tove
Coldplay's, "The Scientist"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Run into jerkos, Jay-Z in jail,
Complete bad-ass we are.
The Real Lyrics:
Running in circles
Chasing tails
And coming back as we are.
The Story: This story is about the greatest date that has ever been pulled off by Chris Martin. - Submitted by: Gwyneth Palmchowder
Coldplay's, "Trouble"
The Misheard Lyrics:
They spawn away from me
The Real Lyrics:
They've spun a web for me.
The Story: I literally thought these were the lyrics since the song came out. It just happened that the lyrics were on Pandora and I realized that I was wrong! - Submitted by: tori
Coldplay's, "Viva La Vida"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I see the mirror, myself
I see the missionaries in a far out field
The Real Lyrics:
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
The Story: I think this is self explanatory, but funny. - Submitted by: Arnold
Coldplay's, "Yellow"
The Misheard Lyrics:
For you, I peed myself trying.
The Real Lyrics:
For you, I bleed myself dry.
The Story: My boyfriend really thought those were the words. When we battled it out, his argument was "'And it was all yellow' helped it make sense". - Submitted by: Lauren
Coldplay's, "Yellow"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Jeg sked, åh ja, jeg sked en bums
The Real Lyrics:
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
The Story: The mishearing is in Danish, and means "I s**tted, oh yeah, I s**tted a pimple". - Submitted by: Glenn O'Brien
Coldplay's, "Yellow"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Oh yeah, your spinning bones
The Real Lyrics:
Oh yeah, your skin and bones
The Story: Makes sense, kind of like a caterpillar spins and turns into something beautiful that is a butterfly :) - Submitted by: Dianne

There are more Coldplay misheard lyrics available.

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