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Song Parodies -> "T. Turtle"

Original Song Title:

"Goldfinger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"T. Turtle"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Turtle takes timeout from "tributary" train to colleagues to trash self. OS might be here. There is an instrumental, not very good, but gives the sing-along tune, here.
T. Turtle
He's the man who's really am-phi-bi-an
Or Libyan?

Febril-y fertile;
Feckless; few find funny fom-EN-ta-tions:
Or or-a-tions!

Blooded--cold; brain big barely as pea
Wastes 9/10 of it on par-o-dy
What remains: insane; droll doll disdains him;
Pain, attains; wit wanes:
What gains him???

T. Turtle
Ardent-ly, acts always alliterate
Nitwit: he's it!

Sacrifices: semantics, syn-tax;
E-lides; ex-cess ellipses; limns lax;
Order? Switches words; screw sentence structure!
Mangled meter:
Manufucture!

T. Turtle
AmIRight, beware when seeks air from shell
Might give you hell!

Silly trivia: such shining star;
Rare: recall where at mall parked his car
Reptiles: scarce evolved from Brontosaurus
Trashing, thrashing
Through thesaurus!

T. Turtle
Pallid puns: pla-cate pea-brain, people, please!
Paeans: appease!
Invalid puns, seize
Of TT's!
Poignant pleas:
Beg: mer-cies,
'Cept Turtle: no knees!
Facts, he flees:
Feigns with ease!
Thinks he's Socrates!
Lunacies:
With wit, please defease!
Geez, Louise!
End all these
Par - o - die - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ie - ies!



One extra verse; last verse sorta took off on its own and is waaay over OS. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 3
 
 2   1
 2
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paree Dee - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Magnificent ! Self-deprecation is always sooo humbling.... but thank God it's only temporary in your case.... 555 nonetheless, from your adoring fan...
Mental Void 19 - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Ow my carapace ruptured while laughing. 555
John Barry - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Impossible to top, TT, you terrific terrapin!
AFW - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Highly humerous self spoofing...Titillating, and turtle-ating
alvin rhodes - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
too funny
Stephen Harrington - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
555, very clever.
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
"Rare: recall where at mall parked his car" was a LOL moment, TT - 555
TT - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Paree Dee (lol), Mental Void 19, John Barry, AFW, alvin, Stephen Harrington, thanks... Stuart McArthur, thanks; unfortunately, too true...
Everyone: I promised ChuckyG that after this week, I would get off the "tribute" kick for a while, as they're (understandably) not his favorite type of parody to post. Friends who haven't received "tribute" yet: it will come in time. Thanks again.
Larry Hensley - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Fun parody, liked it
T. T - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Larry Hensley, thanks.
TJC - May 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Stumbled on this gem thanks to Chance (he even gave me its IP address with full headers!). And ain't irony lovely... fav. line of many wonderful gets was
"Trashing, thrashing
Through thesaurus!"
though...
"Ardent-ly, acts always alliterate" a close second!
Tommy Turtle - May 27, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: Hoped you thanked Chance properly, and I too must do so -- nice to have a friend in Fate, even though this parodist has often random down people's throats! Deturtleministic heueweristics notwithstanding (or notwithcrawling, in TT's case), TT thanks TJC to the tenth tier! (ill-iterat-ion, admiTTedly). Thanks for v/c ... and where is your companion, unknown/NorCal/etc. votress? lol.
Peregrin - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Found my way here independently of 'Chance'! This bit "Blooded--cold; brain big barely as pea Wastes 9/10 of it on par-o-dy" struck me the most of those that have not already received special mention!
Take A Chant;'S On Me - August 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: I hope you are not too badly scarred from having been struck, and thanks for v/c! :D
Peregrin - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Being struck off is a concern, con-struck-tively speaking.
North-of-Equator Turtle @ Peregrin - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm afraid that "struck off", in this context, does not compute (so to speak, robotically) in en-US. Pls edumacate the Yank?
Peregrin - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
It wasn't related to any context past the word 'struck'! Errrmmm, 'struck off' to me equates to something bad. Eliminated. De-registered. Out of favour (U included).
TT - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Here, it would be more literal: "His name was stricken off the ballot for signature-collection fraud". (or "stricken from..." ) Not aware of any idiom of "struck off"; rather "struck out" (baseball metaphor -- can strike out with girl, at job interview, etc.)

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