[Kid Swan]
I am the very model of modern intelligentsia
One of those gents who talks much sense, though what I talk is sense-ier
I use my brain to help explain the puzzles evolution'ry
Some disagree and they view me in need of execution, me?
Yes, there are some extremely dumb theists who keep on bringing up
Points all the same, again, AGAIN the crud that they keep flinging up
They won't read proof, they just *know* "Truth" - it comes from their posterior
Won't use their brain and then complain that I sound too superior

[Chorus]
Won't use their brain and then complain that he sounds too superior
Always complain, the same refrain blown out of their posterior
Almost insane, they have less brain than E coli bacteria

[Kid Swan]
To right their wrongs, some write their songs in poorly-scanning parody
With just a smidge of maybe pig-eon chess-playing analogy
It isn't meant, I've no intent to cause that much offence here
But still, I am the model of modern intelligensia

[Chorus]
He is a gent, there's no intent to cause that much offence here
He is the very model of modern intelligentsia



[Kid Swan]
The people who want to argue are frequently extremely dense
They do not know how one should go evaluating evidence
I tell them how, but they're to proud to listen to me lecturing
Hard to avoid getting annoyed and then it sounds like hectoring
Try to stay calm, but they're so barmy all I get is angrier
Should keep my cool, stay by the pool with a chilled glass of Sangria
But god! these twits get on my tits, it's no surprise I'm losing it
They're all so full of utter bull there can be no excusing it

[Chorus]
They're all so full of utter bull it now smells like they're oozing it
And it annoys they've made their choice and there is no excusing it
It's no surprise there are some guys (e.g. him) that are losing it

[Kid Swan]
If they'd just look inside my books it might just be made clear to them
But they have fears of new ideas, the old ones they adhere to them
Undignified, won't cast aside their biblical pretence here
They're not the very model of modern intelligentsia

[Chorus]
They run and hide, not cast aside their biblical pretence here
You'd hardly call them models of modern intelligentsia


[Kid Swan]
If they would think, not raise a stink and really start a-listening
We could relate, have real debate and not just take-the-piss-ening
If they could see what's clear to me in scientific evidence
Maybe see why and not rely on some deistic eminence
If they thought straight, could cogitate.. oh, wouldn't it be brilliant
Yes, I'd rejoice at measured voice not spiteful, sharp and shrill-iant
Alas, they don't, they can't, they won't and so it all gets sillier
The tone descends, it never ends, gets infinitely chillier

[Chorus]
Alas it's true, they never do and so it all gets sillier
There ain't no hope, not being dopes so atmosphere gets chillier
It's not like he's into disease, lepers or necrophilia


[Kid Swan]
Though simple folk may coo and croak how I'm some kind of martinet
The argument, to all intent, is lost when they are startin' that
To make it count, maybe I'll mount a melodious defence here
I am the very model of modern intelligentsia

[Chorus]
How great to see the parody he's mounted as defence in here
He is the very model of modern intelligentsia