Song Parodies -> The Atheist Supremacist's Song

Original Song Title:

"The Major General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

  
Parody Song Title:

"The Atheist Supremacist's Song"

Parody Written by:

Robin Edgar

'The Atheist Supremacist's Song' aka 'I Am The Very Modern Of An Atheist Supremacist' is dedicated to Atheist Supremacist Spokesperson Richard Dawkins.
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist
I'm an Intellectual, Evangelical, Godless Evolutionist
I know the crimes of Christians, and I quote their fights historical
From Jerusalem to Ireland, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters biological
I understand equivocation, both scientific and theological
About the "Holey Bible" I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews

With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews
With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews
With many fearful facts about Christians and those darn Jews

I'm very good at bigotry and anti-religious insults
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters biological, theological, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In short, in matters biological, theological, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

I know God's mythic history, from Osiris to the (Day of Yule)
I answer to my critics, I've a petty taste for ridicule
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In comics I will fight those other gods who are so fabulous

I can't tell undoubting Muslims from Bahá'ís or Zoroastrians
But know the croaking chorus from those corpse-cold Unitarians
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's Rapical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical

And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense oh so Biblical

Then I can write a bashing book of Biblical enormity
And tell you ev'ry detail of Creationism's deformity
In short, in matters biological, Biblical, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In short, in matters biological, Biblical, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In fact, when I know what is meant by "Babylon" and "churlish"
When I can tell at sight a Mormon from a Whirling Dervish
When such affairs as prayers and "crackers" I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Eat your hat"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern funnery
When I know more of tactlessness than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of fundamental strategy
You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G

You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G
You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G
You'll say a better atheist had never ever spat at G

For my religious knowledge, though it's narrowy and shallowy
Has only been brought down to the early Nineteenth century
But still, in matters theological, minimal, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

But still, in matters theological, minimal, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist
The original blog post of the lyrics to 'The Atheist Supremacist's Song' with appropriate embedded links may be read on the Is Richard Dawkins The Very Model Of An Atheist Supremacist? blog post on The Emerson Avenger blog. These original parody lyrics are copyright Robin Edgar 2008 however I am open to suggestions for improvements.
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.2
 
How Funny: 4.5
 
Overall Rating: 4.5
 

Total Votes: 13
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Timmy1000 - January 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well done - good theme, well written and to the point - 555. Alaways beware of anyone who is a spokesperson for anything.
The Gray Monk - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
As a G&S lover, I loved this rewrite. It hits all the right spots, is well paced and fits the original "patter" beautifully.
Robin Edgar - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
:rewrite the lines that come directly (or nearly so) from the song Actually I quite deliberately left some of the lines from the original 'Major General's Song' entirely intact, or very nearly so. I thought that it was deliciously ironic that they fit the context of Atheist Supremacist Spokesperson Richard Dawkins being a biologist and reciting the "crimes" of ALL gods including Heliogabalus no doubt. ;-) As I said, I am more than open to your own and other people's suggestions for tweaking the lyrics so that the pacing is made better than it is; although, all things considered, the pacing really is quite good albeit not 100% the same as the original pacing.
Outthere - January 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done. You manage to make some serious points in a humorous but inoffensive way. Look forward to the next composition!
Phil Alexander - January 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Had to dock a pacing point, as there are quite a few lines which are almost impossible to scan; other than that, a fun read (even if I fail to see exactly how Dawkins is a "supremacist")
Claude Prez - January 12, 2009 - Report this comment
This was pretty freakin great, even if I personally would use a word like "self-accountable" before "supremacist". Though that would pretty much kill the pacing.
mskitty - October 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Nicely done, Robin!

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