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Song Parodies -> "The Atheist Supremacist's Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Major General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"The Atheist Supremacist's Song"

Parody Written by:

Robin Edgar

The Lyrics

'The Atheist Supremacist's Song' aka 'I Am The Very Modern Of An Atheist Supremacist' is dedicated to Atheist Supremacist Spokesperson Richard Dawkins.
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist
I'm an Intellectual, Evangelical, Godless Evolutionist
I know the crimes of Christians, and I quote their fights historical
From Jerusalem to Ireland, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters biological
I understand equivocation, both scientific and theological
About the "Holey Bible" I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews

With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews
With many fearful facts about Christians and the Jews
With many fearful facts about Christians and those darn Jews

I'm very good at bigotry and anti-religious insults
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters biological, theological, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In short, in matters biological, theological, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

I know God's mythic history, from Osiris to the (Day of Yule)
I answer to my critics, I've a petty taste for ridicule
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In comics I will fight those other gods who are so fabulous

I can't tell undoubting Muslims from Bahá'ís or Zoroastrians
But know the croaking chorus from those corpse-cold Unitarians
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's Rapical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical

And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense Biblical
And whistle at the "fairy tales" of infernal nonsense oh so Biblical

Then I can write a bashing book of Biblical enormity
And tell you ev'ry detail of Creationism's deformity
In short, in matters biological, Biblical, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In short, in matters biological, Biblical, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

In fact, when I know what is meant by "Babylon" and "churlish"
When I can tell at sight a Mormon from a Whirling Dervish
When such affairs as prayers and "crackers" I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Eat your hat"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern funnery
When I know more of tactlessness than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of fundamental strategy
You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G

You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G
You'll say a better atheist had never spat at G
You'll say a better atheist had never ever spat at G

For my religious knowledge, though it's narrowy and shallowy
Has only been brought down to the early Nineteenth century
But still, in matters theological, minimal, and religious
I am the very model of an Atheist Supremacist

But still, in matters theological, minimal, and religious
He is the very model of an Atheist Supremacist
The original blog post of the lyrics to 'The Atheist Supremacist's Song' with appropriate embedded links may be read on the Is Richard Dawkins The Very Model Of An Atheist Supremacist? blog post on The Emerson Avenger blog. These original parody lyrics are copyright Robin Edgar 2008 however I am open to suggestions for improvements.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   2
 2
 3
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   6
 2
 1
 
 5   10
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - January 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well done - good theme, well written and to the point - 555. Alaways beware of anyone who is a spokesperson for anything.
The Gray Monk - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
As a G&S lover, I loved this rewrite. It hits all the right spots, is well paced and fits the original "patter" beautifully.
Robin Edgar - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
:rewrite the lines that come directly (or nearly so) from the song Actually I quite deliberately left some of the lines from the original 'Major General's Song' entirely intact, or very nearly so. I thought that it was deliciously ironic that they fit the context of Atheist Supremacist Spokesperson Richard Dawkins being a biologist and reciting the "crimes" of ALL gods including Heliogabalus no doubt. ;-) As I said, I am more than open to your own and other people's suggestions for tweaking the lyrics so that the pacing is made better than it is; although, all things considered, the pacing really is quite good albeit not 100% the same as the original pacing.
Outthere - January 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done. You manage to make some serious points in a humorous but inoffensive way. Look forward to the next composition!
Phil Alexander - January 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Had to dock a pacing point, as there are quite a few lines which are almost impossible to scan; other than that, a fun read (even if I fail to see exactly how Dawkins is a "supremacist")
Claude Prez - January 12, 2009 - Report this comment
This was pretty freakin great, even if I personally would use a word like "self-accountable" before "supremacist". Though that would pretty much kill the pacing.
mskitty - October 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Nicely done, Robin!
AJ - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Quite funny, but it wanders off the rhythm of the song repeatedly. (G&S have notoriously complex rhythms.) Alas...
Frank Kelly - March 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Not bad, Robin, but I'd like to hear it sung by someone .... say, Tim Minchin? His rendition of "Storm" at the Reason Rally in March 2012 would knock this parody into a cocked hat.
Robin Edgar - January 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Richard Dawkins himself has just Tweeted that 'The Atheist Supremacist's Song' doesn't "scan" well. https://twitter.com/RichardDawkins/status/289792665065754624 As per my openness to suggestions for improvements above, if anyone can tweak the lyrics so that this parody song "scans" closer to the "notoriously complex rhythms" of the original G & S song, please go for it. This invitation is open to Richard Dawkins himself.
Lifeliver - January 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Dawkins (and various commenters here) is right: the pacing is quite off, and I've attempted it myself so I should know, not that I claim my own to be perfect.

Dawkins response is remarkably mild considering your attack on him. He's not a supremacist but a groundbreaking evolutionary biologist who's devoted his declining years to promoting clear, rational thought and testable evidence for what is knowable, in schools and educational institutions throughout the English speaking world. He's done this probably at considerable risk to his health and stress levels at a time when he could be putting his feet up and resting on the laurels of his scientific achievements. A reading of any of his books leaves the impression of a broad-minded, wide-ranging, perceptive, tolerant and self-deprecating man.

As for 'a petty taste for ridicule': water into wine, all the world's species in a boat, emerging unscathed from whales. talking donkeys. parting the sea, rising from the dead etc. etc. etc. - tell me what is there NOT to ridicule there for the self-respecting scientific mind? It's all pink unicorns and tooth fairies to us.

There are a lot more problems with this parody than the pacing. You wanna fix it? Ask the site management to delete it!
Robin Edgar - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
I have not done a thorough reappraisal as to just how well (or not) the pacing aka scansion of this *parody* version of 'The Major General's Song' "scans" with the original version, but it really does not wander *that* far the rhythm of the the "notoriously complex rhythms" of the original song. I see no reason why a *parody* version of any song should "scan" 100% with the original any more than the parody lyrics should be identical with those of the original. . . In any case, inspired by the fact that Richard Dawkins has now acknowledged haven seen this parody song I am *now* thinking of doing a parody version of 'The Battle Hymn Of The Republic' in honour of that hysterical historic occasion.
Lifeliver - January 16, 2013 - Report this comment
You people just don't get it, do you? You're not 'thinking' of anything. It's not your style. 'Reason' and 'reappraisal' are not concepts you encourage naturally inquisitive children (your main target, because they innocently believe what their elders tell them) to employ in their classrooms. Why don't you do 'Battle Hymn' demonstrating how immaculate conception is possible? Perhaps your imaginary friend can help you.

How can you have a rational discussion with people who just put their fingers in their ears and go 'la la la'? - Richard Dawkins
Arguing with a religionist is like playing chess with a pigeon. They knock all the pieces over, crap on the board, and then go strutting around looking like they've won.' - anon
Phil Alexander - January 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Robin, you really need to get over yourself.. if you're wondering what the scansion of a proper Major-General's parody shoudl be like, try this one as an example: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertandsullivan118.shtml (one of a dozen of mine ;-) ).. having just followed your link and read Dawkins' tweet, your calling the occasion "hysterical" seems a bit odd as there is only one person displaying hysteria, and it ain't Dawkins.
Robin Edgar - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Phil, to borrow some choice words from that pompous ASS Richard Dawkins, your reply shows that, amazingly, you DON'T know what "hysterical" means. Well at least in terms of how *I* was using the word "hysterical" which most people here would understand meant "very funny". So what "unmanageable emotional excesses" do you see me displaying?
Robin Edgar - January 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Oh, and as far as the scansion aka pacing of this song goes, 16 out of 24 "reviewers" give it a high rating. 10 give it top marks while six give it a 4 out of 5. 14 out of 24 give it top marks for humour and overall rating. AFA*I*AC the pacing is quite good and it is of secondary importance to me in any case.
Phil Alexander - January 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Now you're arguing about the definition of "hysterical"? Give it up, Robin - I don't think you're up to this kind of debate: looking at your series of tweets "unmanageable emotional excesses" seems a reasonable description.

Re scansion:- you say "it's of secondary importance".. I don't understand why you were complaining above if that's the case. I've done this OS a dozen times.. what I said in my comment four years ago holds true still.
Robin Edgar - January 19, 2013 - Report this comment
What I said in my original description four years ago holds true still Phil. "These original parody lyrics are copyright Robin Edgar 2008 however I am open to suggestions for improvements." Feel free to improve on my scansion aka pacing while keeping the basic theme intact. . .
Turdus Migratorius - January 19, 2013 - Report this comment
The pacing is way off!

"16 out of 24 reviewers give it a high rating"
They either don't know the song or they don't like to hurt anyone's feelings by pointing out that the pacing sucks.

"the pacing is quite good"
Listen to the song again and then try to fit your words into the same spaces.

2nd verse... "I'm very well acquainted":
Original has 4 lines, each of 16 syllables. Lines 1, 2 & 4 have a stress on the 8th syllable and line 3 has the stress on the 7th syllable.
Your 4 matching lines have 16, 20, 15 & 14 syllables.
Surely you can see that your lines aren't even close to the original and can't be sung in their place while keeping to the pace of the song. Phil only docked you 1 point for pacing but I'm with the 4 who only gave you a 1 in that category.
Lifeliver - January 19, 2013 - Report this comment
You go, Turdus. Except he doesn't deserve your renowned expertise. He invites people to improve on his work so he can incorporate the changes and pass it off as his own among his own people. We can't quite call it plagiarism because he would gratefully acknowledge it here, though not elsewhere. I think we call that 'fraud', misrepresentation at the very least..

@ Robin - you don't seem to understand the term 'people of good faith' - that's me, Phil A, 'Turdus' and others who were foolish enough to indulge you. That's the scientists we trust because we can't do the experiments ourselves and whose honesty about their findings we respect. The only faith you understand is the 'blind' variety. Your compliments on my integrity are worthless because you have none.

Atheism is by definition non-supremacist, just as organized religion is supremacist ('supreme' being - get it?) I recommend a few of Dawkins's books, as he had you in mind when he wrote them. You could start with the one that made him famous: 'The Selfish Preen' and its more technical sister publication 'The Extended Egotype'. Then there are his bestsellers 'The Robin Delusion' and his latest success 'The Greatest Crow on Earth'

My final words. I now disengage. I'm putting my chessboard away after a good wipe down. Your desperately defensive comments will be ignored. You people needle until you get an emotional response, then accuse your opponents of emotiveness and hysteria. No doubt you'll be saying to yourself 'Look at him run away with his tail between his legs'. Sorry, but my sanity happens to be important to me, and also my own time and I don't abide fools gladly. Have fun gobbling up the crumbs that fall your way, Mr Pigeon
Robin Edgar - January 20, 2013 - Report this comment
"Your desperately defensive comments will be ignored."

ROTFLMU*UO!

A classic example of psychological projection. . . :-)

"You people needle until you get an emotional response, then accuse your opponents of emotiveness and hysteria."

Your ever so emotive, an indeed quite *hysterical*, reply shows that, amazingly, you DIDN'T know that *I* meant "hysterical" in the sense of "extremely funny". Even your book titles were stolen directly from Dawkins. . . :-)
Phil Alexander - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Well, seeing as you wanted something to scan better.. I couldn't help but oblige: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan144.shtml

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