Well, ah, bless-a my soul, what's wrong with me?
I got into the traffic on Route 23!
I tried to get into the place called Willowbrook!
But I'm stuck!
I'm mall shook up!
Uh-huh!
Uh-hun!
Oy vey-ey-ey!

Well, my cash is shaky and my credit's weak.
I can't afford shoes for my aching feet.
Nothing's on sale, guess I'm out of luck.
And I'm stuck!
I'm mall shook up!
Uh-huh!
Uh-hun!
Oy vey-ey-ey!

Well, please don't ask me what's on my mind
'cause that chick's got twenty items on an express line!
When I'm buyin' shirts and slacks and vest
the service at Sears, it scares me to death!

Doncha touch-a my cart, or I'll chill ya, schmuck!
I bought my kid toys, spent two hundred bucks!
I wish this line would now giddyup!
Give 'em shove!
I'm mall shook up!
Uh-huh!
Uh-hun!
Oy vey-ey-ey!

My throat gets dry in this big sale week!
My insides are shaking like a leaf on a tree!
There's only one cure for this body of mine:
Eat at Ruby Tuesday, the waitress looks so fine!

Now I can't a-find my car in this concrete lot!
My lips are speaking some profanities hot!
I'm walkin' 'round like I got Stanley Cup!
No such luck!
I'm mall shook up!
Uh-huh!
Uh-hun!
Oy vey-ey-ey!

Uh-huh!
Uh-hun!
Oy vey-ey!
I'm mall shook up!