-> "Brush Up Your Scripture"
Original Song Title:
"Brush Up Your Shakespeare"
Parody Song Title:
"Brush Up Your Scripture"
The Lyrics
There's reverends in the C of E
Hate homosexuality
And you hear 'em quoting incessantly
Romans and Deuteronomy
It's God's opinion - believe me, Beau
Sodomy is a big no-no
Yes, taking another bloke up the bum
Is one big abomina-shee-yun
But as childish as this sounds
And you won't believe this, will ya?
There are verses I have found
Are infinte-ly sillier
[Chorus:]
Brush up your scripture
Start quoting it well
Brush up your scripture
And you'll know who'll go to Hell
If you don't wanna seem like a twit-icus
Start quoting vast tracts of Leviticus
Onan planned to have hand-y relations
God's answer: death for masturbation
Having sex while your wife's on her period:
Death, too! Tell me, isn't that weir-iod?
Oh! oh! oh!
Brush up your scripture
Or you'll go to Hell
[Chorus]
If you reckon rape is rather cruel
God says it's OK in Samuel
If your saviour's behaviour is dire
Can't be worse than what's in Zechariah
And in Proverbs it becomes apparent
It's "Death" just for swearin' at parents
Brush up your scripture
Or you'll go to Hell
[Chorus]
You've been hiring yourself like "ho"s here
(found in Chapter nine, verse one, Hosea)
Fifty thousand men killed in Samu-el
For seeing the Ark.. what a too-el!
And it says to kill witches in Exodus
And priests' daughters if they've had sex-odus
Brush up your scripture
Or you'll go to Hell - God's truth!
Or you'll go to Hell - Damn right!
Or you'll go to Hell
[Chorus]
Numbers talks 'bout rape, murder and pillage
Of any Midianite village
In Zechariah, little wonder
God actively helps rape and plunder
And God's treatment of children is dire:
He said "Slaughter the sons" in Isaiah
Brush up your scripture
Or you'll go to Hell - Hellfire!
Or you'll go to Hell - Goddamn!
Or you'll go to Hell
[Chorus]
You'll be put to death, it says in Chronicles
Thinking seeking the LORD is moronic-les
If killing men, women, children's too freaky, hell:
It's something God does in Ezekiel
Do not contemplate idling or idols
'Cause in Judges it turns genocidal
Brush up your scripture
Or you'll go to Hell - I'm saved!
Or you'll go to Hell - Hallelujah!
Or you'll go to Hell - Amen
Or you'll go to Hell
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.8 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.8 | |
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Total Votes: | 13 |
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