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Song Parodies -> "G-string Nudie Bar"

Original Song Title:

"Swinging On A Star"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"G-string Nudie Bar"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Do you like G-string nudie bars?
Drinkin' Jim Beam straight from the jar,
Peelin' leather off by a star,
And drink and gather with some fools.

They're all party animals with thong honey dears,
Sticks Georgie Washington's on rears.
They act all o'nery in their brain they freak,
They yell and whoop it with their stud born shrieks.
And if you pay, you may satiate your tool,
Order a lap dance at your stool.

Watch the ladies swing on the bar,
See some moon scenes spec-tac-u-lar,
You can get it off oc-u-lar,
Sweat up a lather for this gig.

The cover is minimal in this sort of place,
A button, a bow, a dab of paste.
So mind your manners now and don't be crude,
I like them racy and extremely nude.
And if she don't wear a feather or a fig,
I'd think I'd rather tip her big.

It's a G-string show in a bar,
Very poontang orient are,
Try to get it off with a star,
For a price she'll grant your wish.

The swish ain't worth anything if missin' the shook,
So just peel that cover off that book.
They rule your penile and they make you hot,
They'll take your currency, and all you got.
Then if courtin' for a wife is what you wish,
You should go somewhere else to fish.

And all your money bid it adieu,
Co-jo-nes all beat, fried and blue,
You pay to see not pay to do.

Your legal tender can go far,
Down at the G-string nudie bar.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
this is a scream from start to finish...bravo
Johnny D - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh the thought of imagining Bing Crosby crooning THIS !!
John Barry - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Der Bingle would cringe--one thing that makes this so good. Next version: Would you like to swing on my bar. . . ?
Leo Jay - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
This is hilarious. Among my favorite bits are the clever adaptation of 'feather or a fig' from the OS, and the wonderful double meaning of 'the cover is minimal'. Brilliant.
Adagio - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
A really funny one, Guy.
Rick C - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Disturbed and superb!!!! Lots of great lines...........555
Kristof Robertson - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO, Guy! This is priceless...and I too, would love to have seen Bing sing it...555
Al Bundy - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
If you need me, I'll be at the nudie bar.
Guy - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone. I had fun writing this. And no I don't frequent these types of establishments. Not because of any deep seated convictions but because I'm on a strict allowance ever since I lost the mortgage money unfortunately due to an error in proper judgement.
AFW - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
This one's in the pink...Top drawer stuff...above fives..
2Eagle - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I could just picture the sanctimonious Bing Crosby singing this. Very well written lyrics.

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