Song Parodies -> Nuttin' But Spam
| Original Song Title: | "Nuttin' For Christmas" |
| Original Performer: | Barry Gordon |
| Parody Song Title: | "Nuttin' But Spam" |
| Parody Written by: | Spaff.com |
I checked my box at AOL
(Somebody e-mailed me)
A chirpy voice said "You've got mail"
(Somebody e-mailed me)
But it's all crap from herbal quacks
Tricks for dodging income tax
Russian nymphomaniacs
Somebody e-mailed me
I - got a computer for Christmas
Eight zillion M.B. of RAM
But I'm gettin' hostile for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
I don't need loans from offshore banks
(Somebody e-mailed me)
I've never owned no septic tanks
(Somebody e-mailed me)
Old Iraq Most Wanted cards
Kinky housewives' warm regards
No-repayment Mastercards
Somebody e-mailed me
Oh, I'm gettin' freaked out for Christmas
How do they know where I am?
And I'm gettin' ornery for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
They've got Viagra at half price
(Somebody e-mailed me)
A voodoo weight control device
(Somebody e-mailed me)
I don't need hidden camera stuff
Donald Rumsfeld in the buff
My kielbasa's long enough!
Somebody e-mailed me
Oh, I'm gettin' ticked off for Christmas
Free pay-per-view is a scam
And I'm gettin' angry for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
So you better back off
Whatever you do
If I track you down I'm warning you
I'll get postal for Christmas!
(Somebody e-mailed me)
A chirpy voice said "You've got mail"
(Somebody e-mailed me)
But it's all crap from herbal quacks
Tricks for dodging income tax
Russian nymphomaniacs
Somebody e-mailed me
I - got a computer for Christmas
Eight zillion M.B. of RAM
But I'm gettin' hostile for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
I don't need loans from offshore banks
(Somebody e-mailed me)
I've never owned no septic tanks
(Somebody e-mailed me)
Old Iraq Most Wanted cards
Kinky housewives' warm regards
No-repayment Mastercards
Somebody e-mailed me
Oh, I'm gettin' freaked out for Christmas
How do they know where I am?
And I'm gettin' ornery for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
They've got Viagra at half price
(Somebody e-mailed me)
A voodoo weight control device
(Somebody e-mailed me)
I don't need hidden camera stuff
Donald Rumsfeld in the buff
My kielbasa's long enough!
Somebody e-mailed me
Oh, I'm gettin' ticked off for Christmas
Free pay-per-view is a scam
And I'm gettin' angry for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam!
So you better back off
Whatever you do
If I track you down I'm warning you
I'll get postal for Christmas!
Copyright 2003+ Spaff.com. Shameless plug: Get this on the Robert Lund CD Elves Gone Wild!
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ascii Off!!! Too many favorite lines to pick just one.
Most excellent. I'm starting to really get into this Christmas theme on these parodies. This is an exceptional one. Hope they have a category for this in the next parody awards cause this one should be a nominee. I'm emailing you all 5s.
5 cans. :-)
Thanx, Mel & Peter. Guy: I have a feeling that, six months from now, this parody will be a distant memory. But thanks for the plug!
I must have missed this little ditty. Very enjoyable Spaff.
Genius
I've been looking for some festive holiday music for the coming season but all I find in the stores is that Mannheim Steamroller crap. There must be SOMEWHERE I can find a Christmas album that doesn't make me want to stab somebody. But where?
Spaff, youve outdone yourself!
Wild & BF & Mikey: Thanx!
Claude: You know, I've oft found myself in that very same dilemma. That is, until I discovered a new product called "Elves Gone Wild!" It does not promote tooth decay, and it's guaranteed to increase your gas mileage, make you irresistible to the opposite sex, and ensure entrance into heaven no questions asked. Why delay? Buy today! www.elvesgonewild.com
Claude: You know, I've oft found myself in that very same dilemma. That is, until I discovered a new product called "Elves Gone Wild!" It does not promote tooth decay, and it's guaranteed to increase your gas mileage, make you irresistible to the opposite sex, and ensure entrance into heaven no questions asked. Why delay? Buy today! www.elvesgonewild.com
Im recasting votes
JAJAJA GREAT!
Belated thanx, Billy Don't Be a Florio.
Tita: JAJAJA THANX!
Tita: JAJAJA THANX!
Hysterical and well-written. In my opinion, much better than the original I sang fifty years ago. Thanks for the giggles!
Barry Gordon, in addition to being the guy who (at age six) sang the definitive version of "Nuttin' for Christmas," is also a radio show host, occasional politician, and actor. He was president of the Screen Actors' Guild, in fact, for many years. Check out his profile on imdb.com; no doubt you've seen his work.
When I got the above comment, I was skeptical, so I found his email address on his website and asked him. He said that it was indeed him. So - there you go - we occasionally do get real celebrities (not just fake ones) dropping by Amiright.
When I got the above comment, I was skeptical, so I found his email address on his website and asked him. He said that it was indeed him. So - there you go - we occasionally do get real celebrities (not just fake ones) dropping by Amiright.
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This is view # 735
The Best of Simon & Garfunkel album at Amazon.com
