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Song Parodies -> "Fairy Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Cherry Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Warrant

Parody Song Title:

"Fairy Guy"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Imagine, if you will, a colony of fairies. There is but one male fairy among them...and he don't like it one bit. Enjoy!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh
Grumpy bitter pixie moanin'

He's a fairy guy
Not very masculine, although he tri-ies
Sick of glitter stuck in his eyes
Poor fairy guy, yeah

Wow
Heh-heh

Well
Much resentment is stored while he dews the lawn
Mad since he was born, thinks bein' a fairy blo-ows
Gets right on his pecs seein' his friends in flight
None of them have balls, that ain't right, yeah
Yeah, yeah-eah
Huh
Always in a rotten mood, often he's heard bitchin'
That society won't share his int'rests
He'd rather race spiders than converse with beavers
Ev'ry day he gets madder, always so beleaguered

He seethes when we address him as "her"
Rollin' his eyes, new mark on his counter

He's a fairy guy
The odd one out when you see fairies fly-y
Can't stand trees, flowers he don't like
Poor fairy guy, oh yeah
He's a fairy guy
Such a scowl on his face, mood's so wry-y
His magic glitters, just makes him sigh
Poor fairy guy, yeah

Always in the dumps, bein' such an arse
Glittery wings? Hates them, and that's just the sta-art
He hates wearin' soft flower pants
He'd prefer a beetle's shell, killed with his bare ha-a-ands

He sees "fairy" as "pansy", what's worse
Is his name rhymes with it, Perry feels cursed

He's a fairy guy
He's not a healer, he wants to kill fli-ies
Hands too small to make creatures die
Poor fairy guy, oh yeah
He's a fairy guy
Long eyelashes don't make him feel pride
His culture takes pride in them, no lie
Poor fairy guy-uy-uy, yeah-eah-eah
Why-y-y?

Hates it
Moans a lo-ot, shut it
Heh-hey, ow

I think it's contemptible
Not your lot in life, dude, your mood I abhor
You're twenty-five? So what you whinin' fo-or?
Either tell your boss you can't take no more
Or shut up and get used to the flowery decor

Geez, dumb fairy guy
Your hissy-fits won't make you more man-li-ike
Get used to fairy ways of life
Douche fairy guy, oh yeah
See, dumb fairy guy
May seem callous, but mate, when you whi-ine
Navi is what quickly comes to mind
So fairy guy
Buck up, don't whine, yeah
Huh, shut it

And that's about as literal of a fairy tale as I can get. Unless I decide to write a parody about Ferngully one day. Which I might.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   1
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User Comments

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Fairy Tale - June 11, 2015 - Report this comment
A king, who had three beautiful young daughters available for marriage, made the statement that any prince who could pass certain tests could marry his choice of the three. One of these princesses was a blonde, one a brunette, and one a redhead. Every prince on the continent tried to pass these tests, but in one way or another, every one of them failed.

One day Prince Charming from a far away land arrived in the kingdom on his white charger and said to the king, "I understand you have three daughters for marriage," to which the king said, "Yes, if you pass certain tests." Then the king explained what each of these tests were to him, and Prince Charming set out to fulfill his requirements.

A year later, he returned and told the king of all the dragons he had slain, of all the fair maidens he had rescued, and of all the battles he'd fought so valiantly and won. The king said, "Well done, m' lad. You may have your choice of any of my daughters' hands in marriage. So whose hand will you take?"

Well he took the king, because you see, this really IS a fairy tale.

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