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Song Parodies -> "Into the Great Fraud, Dopin'"

Original Song Title:

"Into the Great Wide Open"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Parody Song Title:

"Into the Great Fraud, Dopin'"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Barry Bonds may have reached 714 home runs to catch Babe Ruth, and he may even end up with more than Hank Aaron's current record of 755, but he will forever be baseball's biggest fraud.
(instrumental opening)

Barry debuted when I was in high school.
He went to Pittsburgh, and he broke on through.
The Bucs were really good through 1992.
His future was wide open.

He signed a contract the Giants could afford.
He launched some baseballs out of Candlestick's yard.
But Mac and Sammy were the guys fans loved hard.
This guy couldn't take it.

Into the great fraud, dopin'.
Launching balls into space.
Thanks to the great fraud, dopin'.
A rebel without a case.

Barry got some juice and soon we would see
he got pumped up and he launched 73.
Don't know 'bout you but it don't look right to me.
This guy's past the limit.

Trying to get the love he always has missed
he passed most guys on the all-time home run list.
His personal trainer is no ethicist.
That's why we're mopin'.

Into the great fraud, dopin'.
Make sure you touch each base.
Thanks to the great fraud, dopin'.
A rebel without a case.

Into the great fraud dopin'.
Don't count on Cooperstown.
Due to the great fraud, dopin'.
A rebel without a crown.

(instrumental close)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
masterfully written...i think even his team wants to get this farce over with so they can ship him out to an AL team so he can DH and "catch" aaron...maybe they can develop a real team then..though, i hope not...i hate those guys
Stephen Harrington - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
555.
AFW - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
This is right on the ball...very well said
Rick C - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant work. I agree with your sentiments too. I don't even want to see his name in the record books but, that's probably unlikely. This *ss had a big head even before the steroids took effect on it. 555
Larry Hensley - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
5555 home runs.
Paul Robinson - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Good writing, Michael...5's ~ ~ ~ But I'm afraid I must take a contrarian stance here...keeping in mind that I am no particular fan of Bonds whatsoever...BUT...at the time he starting bulking up and blasting balls into the far reaches of ballparks (if he did...which, yeah, he PROBABLY did) there was no rule against taking steroids that I can recall. Nor any Law against it, either...AND...the other two player's you mention (McGwire & Sosa) appear to have done the same...Professional Sports being what they are...and competitive Athletes being what they are...well, I'm not surprised that many of them look for any edge they can get...AND...let us not forget that taking steroids is no guarantee of a drastic increase in power or overall performance...true, they give the potential for nearly exponential muscle mass growth, but you still have to work your rear end off to get those muscles onto your body...No, I do not advocate taking steroids to to improve performance in sports or anything else...and, Yes, it will surely be a shame if Bonds surpasses Henry Aaron in the Record Books...one for thing pretty much 100% for sure is that "Hammerin' Hank" did it all with his own sweat and blood, hard work and determination...in much more difficult times, too. But, no...you just can't start splitting hairs in the Baseball Record Books...unless you want to start keeping separate sets of records based on...well, based on any quirk or change in how the game is played...For instance...No blacks allowed in Babe Ruth's day...does that mean his HR's go into a separate category? Or get tossed altogether? Fielder's mitts were nowhere near as well made or effective as those of modern-day player's...so does that mean Ty Cobb's, or Rogers Hornsby's or Nap Lajoie's numbers don't count eithera? Pitcher's...back in the earlier days a baseball was kept in play much longer...they just didn't toss them out for a bit of a scuff like they do today...so should that invalidate Walter Johnson's or Christy Mathewson's records? Even more recently, Bob Gibson and Sandy Koufax benefited from a steeper slope on pitching mounds and much roomier strike zones...MUCH roomier...the slope was changed after Gibson's phenomenal 1.06 or 1.12 (can't remember exactly, but it was incredible) ERA one season...I think it was 1968...and so on...etc. WOW! That sure is a lot of words about this from someone who rarely, if ever, watches a ball game anymore...but I was a HUGE fan at one time...

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