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Song Parodies -> "Don't Take Your Man To The Mall"

Original Song Title:

"Waterfalls"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

TLC

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Take Your Man To The Mall"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This parody would be better without the rap part, but then again so would the original song.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-n-jZJhpT4
A saddened husband's gazing out of a side door
Thinking of the show that he now can't watch
It is payday time, his wallet's crammed, she is by his side
And she doesn't realize she bleeds him that much
But all he's paying for ain't needed at all
Cos she can't seem to keep her hands off plain rubbish
So she takes off and she spends his money the one way she knows how
He sees her body and he knows her heart flutters

Listen to me!

Don't take your man to the mall
Leave him with the toaster and the paper he's used to
He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all"
And he hates when credit's surpassed

His capricious has a natural obsession
With privation and she just can't see
She sticks him packets that his two arms can't handle
And all she will say is "baby it's on sale, see!"
One day he'll flip and take a smash at the mirrors
If he'll come to recognize his disgrace
His wealth is fading and he surely knows why
His debts will take him to his final resting place

You all now hear me!

Don't take your man to the mall
Let him take the Volvo or the carpool he's used to
He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all"
And he hates when posh folks go past

Calm down!

She bought a snow plow down in may
Then too many bubble gums
Leaving no trace left of his once-monthly pay
Is it because his wife has ten cells of grey
I pray all ten fade away
Seldom does she miss the latest craze
No wonder his face is blue
Only next fad can undo
The many flounces she bought
I say that guy needs a brew
He's screwed lest she takes my advice
Having dried the tears from my eyes
No more phony buys!
His only bleeding hope is to stop being a dope
She'll shop him to his bane
When instead of milk she pours champagne
She's to blame
He once had sane financial gain
What a shame
He could support his own large retail chain
But she shops insane
Is that her place in time
To pay out his last dime
I say this sister got him victim, oughta be confined
Broads are lost with limitations
With hopes of spending through
Restrain yourself or the repo man will come for you

Don't take your man to the mall
Leave him with the lawn mower the way that he's used to
He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all"
And he'll be by salesmen harassed

Don't take your man to the mall
Leave him at the telly with the beers that he's used to
He knows that you're gonna buy in wholesales, not "nothing at all"
And he'll surely not have a blast
© Peter Andersson.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dylan Baranski - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Girls, you heard Pete! Don't take your husband to the mall if he doesn't want to go.
Cody Slusher - May 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll go on 3 condition. Alladian's Castle. Food Court. And Spencer's.

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