Well no one told me just how kinky you could be
(clap clap clap clap)
Or how you have a fetish for celebrities
Last week you made me dress like Mr Bean
But you didn't tell me you got turned on by the face-lift queen

I won't be Cher for you (cause I think its really weird)
Won't be Cher for you (I just started growing a beard)
Won't be Cher for you
I won't sing "I Got You (babe)"

You're in a sulk again, you say that I'm a fake
But hey! Last week I got dressed up as Ricki Lake!
My FRIENDS all warned me you were kinda nuts
So forget your Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
I really dont have the guts

I won't be Cher for you (she looks like Lassie)
Won't be Cher for you (or Shirley Bassey)
Won't be Cher for you, it's enough to make me spew

I want to be your fiancee
Don't want to be Beyonce
But you know that I'll do anything
Anything that you say
I won't be brash or bitter
Get out the wigs and glitter
I'm already feeling better
Do I look as good in red or blue? (yeah!)

(Instrumental)

Next week I choose, and I'll be Barry White
You can be my first, my last, my everything throughout the night

I'll be Cher for you (Though I feel like a jerk)
I'll be Cher for you (I'm not wearing this to work)
I'll be Cher for you
If you'll be Sonny too