When I woke up!
and I looked into the mirror
well the mirror gave me such an awful fright
It was my face!
but my face had changed so much that
I had never witnessed such a handsome sight

So I grabbed my
grabbed my GQ magazines
magazines with pics of all those handsome guys
and I held each
each one up against my face
and my face out-handsomed all of them but five

[chorus]
yes, I have got too good - look - ing
yes I'm a too too handsome dude
at the rate my looks are im - pro - ving
I'll pass George Clooney very soon

la de da da

So I panicked
coz the lives of these sex symbols
are so miserable, according to the press
Britney's lonely
J-Lo WON'T talk 'bout the rocks she's
got, and Denzel's seaside penthouse is a mess

So I phoned up
phoned a plastic surger-y...
to enquire if they could give my face some flaws
but they told me
they could only do improvements
they had never gone the other way before

[chorus]
yes, I have got too good - look - ing
yes I'm a too too handsome dude
at the rate my looks are im - pro - ving
Ms Jolie will get me tattooed

la de da da
la de da da
la de dum diddleum diddleum diddleum da darrr

la de da da
la de da da
la de dum diddleum diddleum diddleum da darrr

So they told me
to come in and they could see
see if I was quite as handsome as I said
so I went in
and I tossed my hair and posed
and they said at best I'm seven out of ten

I was outraged
I could not utter a word
so I grabbed my comb, walked out, and slammed the door
seems the only
way to lessen my appeal
is to do a movie 'bout the Trojan War
(or to meet Tech Fred and strike up a rapport)

[chorus]
yes, I have got too good - look - ing
yes I'm a too too handsome guy
This world is too flawed for - my - looks
so farewell world, I have to hide

bye de byebye
bye de byebye
bye de byebiddleye biddleye biddleye bye bye
etc.