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Song Parodies -> "The 'Olestra Has Some Side Effects' Song"

Original Song Title:

"Trippin' On A Hole In A Paper Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Stone Temple Pilots

Parody Song Title:

"The 'Olestra Has Some Side Effects' Song"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? MP3 here. This is a gross parody; fortunately I read food labels so this hasn't happened to me.
[intro]

What came out was more than fart
Seems Olestra has its way
(Stick to Crisco in deep-fryers,
Or you will stain your attire!)
Feelin' somethin' start to ooze
ol' brown starfish? grip you lose!
(I messed up those brand-new Haynes,
(I) keep on drippin' through the day!)

I am a man but damn I glopped myself!,
This I dreaded - just heed my tale

To not have anus leakage/seep,
Just stay far away,
From the low-fat Lays!

Safe to eat so they insist
But I'm leaving oily skids!
(Drawers washed three times with Clorox Tide,
long cycle time; still brown not white!)
Must 'go' it's harder holding out
One more drip I'll freakin' shout!
(I'm sick and fed up - these effects of,
Olestra show no love!)
Take a great potato chip
Kill the fat it turns to sh*t!
(When your hole is bustin' loose,
With untimely, tarry stools...)

I am a man but damn I glopped myself!,
This I dreaded - just heed my tale

Toilet's closer, closer need to go,
That fat-free just runs through me

I am a man but damn I glopped myself!,
This I dreaded - just heed my tale

To not have anus leakage/seep,
Just stay far away,
From the low-fat Lays!

[furious solo]

I am a man but damn I glopped myself!,
This I dreaded - avoid my tail!

Toilet's closer, closer need to go,
That fat-free is not for me

I am a man but damn I glopped myself!,
This I dreaded - just heed my tale

To not have anus leakage/seep,
Just stay far away,
From the low-fat Lays!
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Ewww!!! Watch out for no-sugar candies too. 5's
John Barry - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Brown pants from Red Ant. 15 wash cycles.
alvin rhodes - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
disgustingly funny
Tommy Turtle - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
The defining comment when Olestra came out was: "If a can of dog food listed those side effects, would you feed it to your dog?" Five stains.
Billy Boyd - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Haha...this was awesome, Ant. This is probably my favorite STP song, and was kinda disapointed that no one had ever done a parody of it. I tried for a long time, but they all sucked and never came together, so I was very glad to see you had done this, and of course, you did it awesome... gross and hilarious. ..big 5's.
Dirty Hairy - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I dkos, but you are right about one thing. This was gross! Thanks for the warning on Olestra, I've never tried it, and won't now.
Red Ant - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat, John, Alvin, TT, BB, and Dirty Hairy. Billy Boyd: It is one of my two favorite STP songs (the other is the grossly overplayed "Sex Type Thing"). I had a title that rhymed perfectly with this OS's title, but it was a bit too gross (I'm sure you could figure it out if you were so inclined).
Larry Hensley - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Wonderfully charming parody, indeed. 555's
Paul Robinson - June 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny stuff, Red...DKTOS here, but I enjoyed the read...say, you know the site had a "Grossest Parody" contest in 2004 (I know this because I WON...lol - "That Hairy-Old Woman"). If you haven't held one lately you ought to..and then enter this one...it's a "Top Grosser", for sure ~ ~ ~
Red Ant - January 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Belated thanks Paul, and great idea for a contest. =)
Below Average Dave - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Gross Out 2-Well, being my entry was number one, yours was my first review. . .Disgusting, utterly disgusting, totally inappropriate and immature. . . . .I LOVED IT:) Pacing was great especially considering the OS.
Agrimorfee - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(Gross Comp Deux) This was, overall, the best-written of the entries here, IMHO. Good job.
Matthias - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
You blasted a hole in this one and out seeped some fives
Michael McVey - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll be on the lookout for foods with Olesterol!!! MM
Red Ant - January 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Dave, Aggy, Matthias and MM.
Jonathan S., fellow parody author - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job with keeping the pacing the same. I definitely enjoyed the "I glopped myself" line! Keep up the good work!
Jonathan S. (same as above) - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Yo. Now that I've looked up the OS's lyrics and see how you quite cleverly contrasted them, I enjoy your parody even more! As soon as I can get on a less faulty computer, I'll give ya 555!!! (Can't remember if I already voted.)
Stephen Harrington - July 16, 2010 - Report this comment
555, I'm glad I never ate that variety.

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