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Song Parodies -> "Everybody's Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody Hurts"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Everybody's Girl"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? MP3 here. A fictional story about breaking bad news to a friend.


I will say it's wrong...
But your wife - your wife's not yours alone
Swings for sure she's had about....
Ev'ry night - she bangs gongs
I thought you... should know....
'bout ev'ry buddy tried
She's everybody's girl...
Some wife...

Sometimes she does them 'til dawn...
Any guy that comes along
And she dates these guys I know (hopped on ...)
I would say she's turning ho (oh god!)
I would think they've had enough
Of your wife - she goes on

She's everybody's girl.....
Takes money from your friends
Everybody's girl.....
Yes she... gets spanned...
There's..... more
One hour... stands....
Don't you think she's home alone
No no no she's with Romeo

Hate to tell you Joe - but your wife
Will play the nights you work
Yes I know you're mad - it sucks
That your wife - goes beserk

She's everybody's girl.....
Some wife - ev'ry buddy tried
Like a doorknob turned....

Oh my!

She's everybody's girl
Some bride!
She went on - with Don - and Ron - and John
And Vaughn - and Juan - and Kwon - and Dawn!
Everybody's girl......

[Joe sobbing, chanting 'no']

Time to get your Colt!

[fade out]
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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John Barry - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Sounds like a floozie pandemic. 555
Stephen Harrington - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
555, is the Colt for himself or his wife?
alvin rhodes - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
sad tale of woe..5s
Tommy Turtle - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, sorta sounds like "New Kid In Town", which might also be an OS for this topic... I cuckold.. I mean, chuckled... lots. 555
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
er *looks around, sees nobody else* you're not talking to me are you, Red? - but she told me that Kwon and her were just duck-buddies (.............................................d'OH!)

great subs - very funny - 555
Rex - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah yes, the type of girl who straps a mattress on her back, runs out to the street and yells "curb service"! Excellent writing here.
Red Ant - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks John, Step-chan, Alvin, TT, Stu and Rex.

Step-chan: I hadn't noticed the ambiguity of that line until now. I was thinking more of a threat measure than any real violence, but if it came down to it, the wife gets it. Paraphrasing Chris Rock: 'I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying I understand it' (regarding the OJ case). Besides, according to Wikipedia TOS was meant to help those with suicidal thoughts, not encourage them. ;-)

Tommy Turtle: The underlined words "Click Here" in the top comment, when clicked, will take you to a site that has a free MP3 for evaluation purposes. I don't expect everyone to take the time to d/l TOS but the version there is correct and virus/spyware free. Good puns there too. BTW, this originally came out on the "Automatic For The Husband" (I mean "People") CD. ;-)

Stu: Duck buddies? lol. Sounds like she misspoke. I had intended to keep the parody as somber as TOS until I realised I could sub all those names in place of the "hold on" parts.

Rex: Lol. Your comment has prompted me to reconsider an old parody idea I had - if I can stand to listen to TOS again you may see it in the near future.
Adagio - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Finally got the thing to d/l!! Very pretty, sad song and a sad state of "affairs".
Michael Pacholek - March 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Really Entertaining, Man. The song, that is, not the wife.
Larry Hensley - March 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Good parody.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
This is one of the songs I love to hate, so I'm gonna trust you on the pacing because I can't stand to listen to it. As for the subject, if the husband does nothing about it, does that make him a poor pimp?
Red Ant - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat, Michael, Larry and Peter. I don't really like this OS either, and the video was kind of inane. As for your question, I don't know the answer - I surely would do something about it - not sure what though.....
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) You pulled this one off tremendously.., I've wanted to do that song, but never could think of something. This will be in my 5.
Adagio - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3)See above
Rick C - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-E) Where was I when this one posted. Sorry I missed it then Jack. Very funny, especially the list of names at the end. :-) 555
Matthias - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
And DAWN?! Wow she's bisexual?!
Michael McVey - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Only one problem -- in your country (no longer mine) women only do THAT with other women!!! Even the "loose" ones play favorites among the men. But true enough, their husbands often aren't among the favorites. The song itself is a pretty good satire. -- MM
Johnny D - August 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Smoothly crafted, well done.
Stuart McArthur - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) reading this to the OS, I can see it was quite hard to pace in parts but you did a sterling job, jack - oh, and see above - and I didn't realise Vaughan was one of them (that bastard!)
Josh 2 - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
She mine dammit, all mine mwuhahahahahahahaha....oh yeh, 5s
Jeff Reuben - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I thought this was brilliant, I tried my version of this song a few years back so I'm impressed with your work with the pacing.
Kristof Robertson - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) Excellent, Jack...and a perfect accompaniment to my "She's Knowing All Your Friends" (damn, I dropped that PLUG again...;-)). Seriously, I've also tried this OS, and it's harder to do than you'd think, so BRAVO! 555
Red Ant - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agrimorfee, Pat, Rick C, Matthias, MM, Johnny D, Stu, Josh 2, Jeff, and Kristof. Jeff and Kristof: I'll check your versions of this song in the near future.

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