you're wanting to watch Corrie
and you want to watch Eastenders
and though the acting's been missed
you will watch Emmerdale later
they gave the plot a read through
and it makes sense in their eyes
there's been another murder
in this soaps new plot line
and maybe it's confusing
cause they've changed that persons actor
you think that he looks diff'rent
he looks good, but act's no better

You think they need scriptwriters
cause the program is a mess
but you will never stop watching
or show signs of interest
one of them released a single
and it sold 'til monday night
the five copies were returned
and the record company had fits
they're going back to theatre
and at christmas it gets them rich
they're trying to still make it
while we're thinking "Who's this?"
but they're saying it's what they want
with record in bargain basement
and said goodbye
now the programs in a muddle

You hated Eldorado
and Crossroads was still unworthy
but both fans blackmail the producers
to continue with boring
so they write in burning airplanes
to the quiet country district
and it's increased ratings you've won
it's futures still uncertain

Though Brookside now don't matter
the viewers gone forever
you're wanting to watch Corrie
and you want to watch Eastenders
and you want to watch the BBC
to watch the BBC's Eastenders evening
and the Tea making appliances
are soon gonna be switched on
the programme made by idiots
is watched by blanker stares
and the money that they give 'em
it fund's their hedonism then they get screwed
and you look at the charities
they ask you for your donations please
oh thank these damn rich idiots
and we no longer care
Though Brookside now don't matter
the viewers gone forever
you're wanting to watch Corrie
and you want to watch Eastenders