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Song Parodies -> "Crap"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

"Your Butt Is Mine"
Is that a fact?
Now just how crap
A lyric is that?
My recent songs
You should avoid
I've gone downhill
I'm paranoid
Brain gone, brain gone
Men in white coats, All Right...

I try to say
I'm bad and mean
But I think I peaked
With Billie Jean
Tho' Thriller sold
Squillions I boast
Nothing else I write
Has even come close

Well they say my songs pathetic
And I know that it's true
I haven't written good songs
Since 1982

Because I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I know I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I Know It
You Know I'm crap, I'm crap
Come On, You Know
(Really, really crap)
And The Whole World Has To
Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's crap

The word is out
This song's no good
Please shut me up
If only you could
It could be why
Each new song fails
So I don't get
No record sales
The fault's not mine
Even if it is
I blame it on
The music biz

My whining may annoy ya
You ain't seen nothing yet
Increasing paranoia
It's me they're out to get

Because I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I know I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I Know It
You Know I'm crap, I'm crap
Come On, You Know
(Really, really crap)
Don't call me not as good as I was
Don't tell me you can tell
Who's crap

Oh, I could get a nosejob
Yes, I can change my face
Don't matter what I look like
My music's a disgrace

Because I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I know I'm crap, I'm crap
(Really, really crap)
I Know It
You Know I'm crap, I'm crap
Come On, You Know
(Really, really crap)
And the whole world knows I'm crap and I'm here
Just to tell you once again
Who's crap

(Chorus ad lib ad nauseam)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 67

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   2
 4   8
 5   54

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Hairspray - January 10, 2003 - Report this comment
It's Gold, baby!
AmishJD - January 11, 2003 - Report this comment
This is one of my favorite parodies ever.
Phil Alexander - January 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you. I aim to please ;-)

Jeff Reuben - February 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Had to read this again after that brilliant interview (missed it, dang, but heard enough on talk shows to know how it went). Good song!
Trish Ryan - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
ONE WORD--- Glorious son of a gun, dont change nothing, and that must be a miracle. That's one word right? Well anyway, You sould go after 'Sk8er Boi' and have everybody hate you for making the 49,093,389,583,327,497,395,382,496,209 one. No seriously, set the record straight and make fun of Sk8er Boi, with your talent and that song maybe you could get peole to relize to stop writing Sk8er Boi parodys.....:-) (?)
Phil Alexander - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Trish - sorry to disappoint, but I've already done a Sk8er Boi parody: "Latex Toi" - from the look of it, the 68th iteration :-)
Billy Florio - February 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Phil, thats the 68th version in which Avril's name is spelt right ;-)
I wish I was Bob Geldof - June 01, 2003 - Report this comment
This has to be one of the paradies, you've ever written Phil! I pissed my pants when I read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Tisha - November 01, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought the parody was hilarious, this is the first one that i actually commented on because it just was funny, but leave my boy mike alone!
Rick D - November 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Just saw this one. Hit it right on the nose. Oh. That must be what happened to it.
Phil Alexander - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, if that's the standard of the MJ fan-club, I rest my case. Slightly more articulate than the average Britney fan, perhaps, but still greatly deficient in the sense-of-humour department.
Agrimorfee - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Eyeing for the first time, for the ABCs Round C. Damn funny, and it gets to the heart of the matter...all freak show things and pediphilia charges put aside, Jackson really doesn't know how to write music any longer.
Agrimorfee - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
ABCs Round, 2nd Look--aw man, this is good, too! BLo-Town and you are in my sites for the win at this juncture. Stay tuned for my final vote...555
Johnny D - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This parody's definitely NOT "crap" !
Adagio - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good one. Does he even sing anymore? - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Philbo, you have a crapload of great parodies. Squillions, even. And this one's damn near perfect.
Phil Alexander - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, all.. I just wish I had the voice to sing it ;-) Spaff, you ain't doing too badly yourself...
Meriadoc - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Just loved the "squillions"!
Peregrin - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
You know, it's fab, it's fab, it's really really fab!
Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember when this one was new. I'm surprised I never left a comment, but I voted. The 1982 line sums up my feelings on Michael Jackson. I miss him though... the halfway normal version. If his new songs were half as clever as this I could like him again. GREAT job.
MysteryGoat - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Nicely done.
Claude Prez - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
This is GREAT. Once again, it turns out I've already voted though.
neminem - May 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Another 4.5/5/5, rounded up.
Paul Robinson - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job, Phil. 5-5-5 here.
Genius in Maine - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Easily one of the best parodies on this site! 5-5-5!
Mark Scotti - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
"Glad" ya steered me here, Phil! A classic!!!

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