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Song Parodies -> "All I Want for Christmas Is Glue"

Original Song Title:

"All I Want for Christmas Is You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Mariah Carey

Parody Song Title:

"All I Want for Christmas Is Glue"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at badave.com
I don't need Poppers for Christmas
I don't need no Ecstasy
I don't really want paint thinner
Not even the Gasoline

There's one thing for which I long
Something that can stick to chrome
How I want some soon
All I want for Christmas Is Glue

I don't need no tape or stickies
No Glue Stick will do for me
(And I) don't care about the pretense
That having all this glue will leave

I don't need no gift card shopping
Games tossed in the fireplace
Nice clothes don't make me happy
What I want is white and safe

It may sound crazy I know
and it looks like gooey snow
I am not cu-koo
All I want for Christmas is Glue
Glue baby

Oh I won't ask for cash this Christmas
Save your money, don't need no bows
(And I'm) just heading up to Walgreens
Stocking up to made glue molds

I don't need no turkey sandwich
Or a laptop-no chap-stick
I don't really care for sharpies
Most of those smell really sick

Cause all I want is slick and white
Costs less than a soda might
Filling up my shoes!
Baby all I want for Christmas is Glue
Glue (baby)

Oh all the lines are building
around Best Buy and Claire's
And the fights of Target's aisles
for the toys and gears

And cashiers all are ringing
Those high priced gifts folks are bringing
Honey won't you buy what will bring me glee
Won't you please pick up more glue for me?

Oh I don't want a ring for Christmas
Don't need a car that's for sure
Happy in the house we're staying
Don't need movies any more

Oh Back to School supplies are shown
There's one thing there I must own
You can end my blues
Baby all I want for Christmas is
Glue (baby)

All I want for Christmas is Glue baby
All I want for Christmas is Glue baby
All I want for Christmas is Glue baby
This has been a Below Average Dave production, All Rights Reserved

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wendy Christopher - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Ohhh, pleasepleaseplease can we get Mariah to actually sing this one, completely minus any sense of irony whatsoever? That would totally brighten up Christmas! Top job as usual Dave - please have a 555!
Dan Creeden - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
5-5-5 (Ho-Ho-Ho).....A Holiday Classic Parody.....
Porfle Popnecker - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
A parody with sticking power.
Matthias - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Very much in tune with the original song. I loved the fact that you pretty much made fun of Mariah's list of things that she doesn't really want (instead of "you") by replacing it with a whole bunch of off the wall and goofy things like: "Ecstasy", "Paint Thinner", "Turkey Sandwich" and "Sharpies". One of the best I've read by you in awhile and it's perfect for the Holiday season. Hopefully your second Christmas album will have this one.
Dave W. - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Love to see a video along with this one...very funny..definitely Above Average, Dave
Agrimorfee - November 24, 2011 - Report this comment
Like Mariah's, this work is worthy enough to be an annual favorite. Funny non sequitur with the turkey sandwich. But rhyming 'pure' with 'more' seemed pretty odd.
Rex - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) 555 stockings full of glue to you!
wildcard - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm stuck in my glue so I cant help you, sorry
LadyTaTa - November 29, 2011 - Report this comment
SirDave, this is great; sounds like your T-Day gave you spurs to write it Right, Sir !
Blaydeman - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) That's what I was going to get you! But my hand got stuck to your stocking.... So I hope you like your stocking with a hand shape missing from them :P! LOL!
bobpiecheese - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) What profound silliness, what's not to like? I like to think that this is a prequel to Rex's parody for this round, but that's me. 555 tubs of...whatever the favoured flavour of glue is in Australia, I haven't checked.

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