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Song Parodies -> "World Conqueror"

Original Song Title:

"Heartbreaker"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Mariah Carey

Parody Song Title:

"World Conqueror"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

"Conqueror" is pronounced "con-krer", mmkay?
Yeah
Right
(I wanna rule over this)
Let's go
Ruler

(I want the world, I want the world
I want the world, I'll take the world)

Right
I know what I'm doing with this
Got the Evil Overlord List
Aha, whooo
Of course!

Boy, my plan's so good
World takeover, let's go
You don't think I should
Just shut up or you're boned
At least in the short term
It's not like I plan to spare you
I just cannot bare with your gall
The time is soon
The things I plan to do
The whole world I will rule
I've amassed an army
They're quite the loyal crew
First, the basics: conquer France!

World conqueror, that's what I plan to be
In my airtight plan, I've got the necessities
I'm not wasting time on damn weather machines
Be credible right from the start
I'd look like a right arse
(I want the world, I want the world
I want the world, I'll take the world)
x4

What I aim to be
Lord of all things that be
And you dare doubt me
Your one true future king
Many contingencies
I'll never have to say I'm screwed
But there's no time to list them all
Time I should move
The world's my oyster soon
Lots of things will go boom
Send word to my navy
That scurvy, crazy crew
Don't bet on England's top brass

World conqueror, that title I shall be
Though the battles shall be just mere frivolities
My foes shall be overrun quite easily
No messin' 'round, war is an art
No scribbles on my part

The world is mine to claim
Shall take three days
I'm gonna blow up Iceland because it
Just feels right
To world leaders I'll send
Their best buddy dead
If that sounds creepy and wrong
Well spotted, friend
Well, if I wanna take
The world in three days
There is no time for nice shit
Oh, no way
This will be the best conquest
Of that I am sure
I have taken utmost care
To make this work
Anyone dares to oppose me

Grind him in a smoothie
Display his head and bits
To dissuade newbies
You may think all of my plans
Rely on force
But there's been months of subtle work here
Of course!
I am the world conqueror
You can't call me a dawdler
Oh, you really thought ya
Pissy plan'd work? Ha!
No rebels in my world because
You try anything I'll laser y'all
Uh huh

World conqueror is what I plan to be
I've planned for ev'ry single possibility
And none of you peons would stand up to me
Because I'll break your will and heart
It's such a nasty craft

World conqueror is what I want to be
I've planned for ev'ry single contingency
And none of your armies will last against me
Because I've said war is an art
I'll Vince Van Blow your arse

World conqueror is what I've planned to be
I've wanted this since I was a boy of fifteen
And I've adapted my plans since then, see
That nerd in the back of the class
He'll one day own your arse

World conqueror is what I plan to be
I've planned ev'ry single eventuality
And none of you whelps would dare stand up to me
Because I'll break your will and heart
And now the clock shall start

(I want the world, I want the world
I want the world, three days, the world)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Christie Marie M - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Spoken like a true conqueror...which is what you are! Valiant and yet benevolent, in a good way. Also, love the villain motif. 555.
Porfle Popnecker - November 21, 2011 - Report this comment
This sounds like a good plan! I'm going to get right on it.
Matthias - November 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Wouldn't it just be conquer... Not conqueror. The whole -or ending syllable throws off the pacing for me because "conquer" would still work. Anywho... Enough of me being a grammar and pacing Nazi. This was a fun parody and reminding me of a bunch of people including Dr. Horrible, Brain from Pinky and the Brain and my buddies and me playing Risk.
bobpiecheese - November 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Matthias: Um, no, "conquer" would not work grammatically. Like, at all. "Conquer" is not a noun. If I had used just "conquer", it'd sound like I was declaring my self the "World Conker", which is, well, kinda stupid. I pointed out the pronunciation dealy in the opening notes.
Agrimorfee - November 24, 2011 - Report this comment
I had no problem with the alternate pronunciation of "conqueror" here. What a crap song, you made a little go a long way in the very challenging repeated choruses...although your repeated use of "arse" was a bit much.
Rex - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I, for one, welcome my new parody overlord. Nice job with a long song.
Blaydeman - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The OS was very repetitive (I myself had that problem in this round) but this is still pretty funny.
Below Average Dave - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Um, "Just shut up or you're boned" and "blow your arse" have very specific meanings here. . .that are quite different than what you meant. It was an interesting parody, reminded me a bit of Dr. Evil--whom I love, so that's a good thing
Blaydeman - December 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See Above ^^^^^ Idk if you celebrate Christmas down under, so I'll just say Happy Holidays to you TCOP!
Abbott Skelding - December 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Not bad, however with the OS, it was kind of hard to follow with all the overlapping and whatnot. Nice idea though
D-Mon - January 01, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I felt really confused with this one. It seemed all over the place to me. There were some pretty funny lines though.
Christie Marie M - January 02, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I definitely agree with Matthias about reminding this parody on Pinky and the Brain and I got to thinking that Brain would sing this type of song. Hmmmmmm...how it would be like to take over the world. When I was a teenager, I found myself wondering what it would be like if Hanson took over the world, ever since I listened to "I Will Come To You" reminded me of how terrorism will cease shooting and declaring war with each other and how people would stop pouring oil in oceans. Well, once again, this takes the cake! Spoken like a true conqueror, which is what you are! Great work and you just conquered 555 nations with this one!

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