Song Parodies -> All I Want In Bond Films Is Q

Original Song Title:	"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
Original Performer:	Mariah Carey

Parody Song Title:	"All I Want In Bond Films Is Q"
Parody Written by:	Phil Alexander

I don't want a lot from Bond films
I'm not asking for a lot
I'm not wanting wit or wisdom
Realism, or a plot
I just want the odd surprise
Gadget that one man supplies
Guess who has them? Who?
All I want in Bond films is...
Q

I don't want to see the bad guy
Torturing our double-0s
I don't care about the "Bond girls":
'Cause they wear too many clothes
I don't need to see the villain
Fondling his fluffy cat
Metal teeth and golden guns
Leave me feeling oh, so flat
I kust want a laser watch
Maybe an explosive crotch
Better than kung fu
All I want in Bond films
Is Q

I don't care for Pierce Brosnan
Daniel Craig, Pussy Galore
I could take or leave Sean Conn'ry
All he did was roger more
Sorry to say that Tim Dalton
Isn't who I go to see
Nor one-offs with David Niven
Or a blazin' Lazenby
'Cause what I am wanting, please:
Des Llewellyn (or John Cleese)
Others I eschew
'Cause all I want in Bond films
Is Q

Now the moonlight's shining
So brightly on Bond's pecs
But the TV sure ain't
Showing him have... a shave
Next scene and again he
's gonna spend a Moneypenny
But to satisfy me, a submarine Esprit
Or an Aston Martin I can't see

Oh, I don't want a lot from Bond films
No megalomaniac games
Not some sexy Russian bimbo
Wantonly whispering "Chames"
I just want to see those boys
Technologi-whizzy toys
Make my wish come true
Oh, yes.. all I want in Bond films,
Is...

Q

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Michael Pacholek - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment

You're joking! Wait, that is kind of the point, isn't it?

McKludge - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment

"All he did was roger more" Brilliant! 555

Jack Wilson - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment

Loved it! 5s

Peregrin - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment

"I don't need to see the villain, Fondling his fluffy cat". I thought this was going elsewhere for a minute heh heh. Well done, Q did a good job.

John Jenkins - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment

Well done, Phil. As McKludge noted, the roger more line is great, as is the "again he/Moneypenny" couplet.

missMoneyPenny - January 22, 2008 - Report this comment

Sir Phil, this was just great! When whispering "Chames", I always envision dark Knight, Sean !!!

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Song Parodies -> All I Want In Bond Films Is Q

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Mariah Carey

"All I Want In Bond Films Is Q"

Phil Alexander

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