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Song Parodies -> "My Name Is... (John Kerry)"

Original Song Title:

"My Name Is... (Slim Shady)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"My Name Is... (John Kerry)"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This does not count toward the Presidential Parody Project, since John Kerry is not President yet. When he is sworn in next January 20, I will officially be one Presidential parody short.
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!

Ahem... excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the voters for one second?

Hi, kids! Do you like politics? (Yeah, yeah, yeah!)
Wanna see me beat George W. Bush
despite all his dirty tricks? (Yeah!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah!)
Go to war for a mistake
and get wounded worse than I was? (Huh?)
My chin's dead weight, but at least my brain's straight
and I CAN decide which enemy I wanna evaporate! (Mmmm!)
And Georgie Bush said, "John Kerry, you're a flip-flop!"
Uh-uh! "So why's your face long? And why you on top?"
Well, since age 12, I've been running for President
'cause the guy we've got right now sure isn't heaven-sent!
Got pissed off when a million jobs were blown off!
Bush smacked the working people so hard
with his tax-cut double-cross!
Dubya don't have no class, so I'll kick his ass
harder than a Howard Dean Iowa spit-blast!
C'mere, George! (Kerry, wait a minute, that's our President!)
I don't think so, man, don't know where those Florida votes went!

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!

My English teacher taught me how to say the word "nuclear."
Georgie Bush says it like he's had too much beer.
Put the truth in his face at the de-bate
showed I had my facts straight
and stapled the word "failure"
to his face before it was too late! (Owwww!)
Walked in the O-club, had my jacket zipped up
and there's Georgie, drunk, and now he's tripped up!
Terrorists mess with him, killing our citizens
and bin Laden reminds us that Georgie lost track of him!
All the last four years we've been lied to!
I just learned Bush takes more
special-interest money than I do! (Damn!)
I told the people four more years of Georgie would be grim.
Make a record about big mistakes
and name it after him! (Oh, thank you!)
You know you blew up when a bunch of swfit boat vets
take shots when they weren't on your boat, how they forget!
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph.
(Senator, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it, "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, liberal!"

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!

Bush: (Stop the tape! Terrorists need to be locked away!)
Kerry: You mean like naked animals down in Abu Ghraib?
I'm not ready to leave Iraq to Moqtada al-Sadr. (Screw that!)
But I refuse to let our troops be only cannon fodder! (Huh-yup!)
I am comin', Bush is goin', that ain't hard to decide.
I just drank a glass of French wine
but Bush still can't drive! (Empty head!)
Never worked in a factory, never worked in the mines
had a fortune even before I married Teresa Heinz (Whoops!)
but President Frat Boy makes people sulk
'cause he makes their jobs get outsourced in bulk!
All those poor children are so hungry, they throw fits! (Waaaah!)
Bush took their parents' jobs and blew them to bits! (Waaaah!)
No security, no job growth, and that's the truth
so make sure on Tuesday I'm your man in the voting booth! (BANG!)
You're steaming mad! (Arrrrgh!)
But you don't have to be sad! (No?)
Tell Bush, "George, you're fired!" like you did to his dad!

Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] John Kerry!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   15
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job...good luck tomorrow!
Billdo - November 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Fan-freakin-tastic!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Tackled well. Solid rhymes, pacing close enough to sing along to and some great humour. 455
Kristof Robertson - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Slick work, homey! (That doesn't sound right coming from an Aussie living in London..) 555
Michael Pacholek - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof, if we can put Bush "down under," the Foster's is on me!
Agrimorfee - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
555 (copyright this before the Jib Jab Guys rip it off!)
Ashkicksass - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
DAMN!
Michael Pacholek - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
It's the joke, not the Foster's, that's on me. Hi! My name is... Al Gore! Hi! My name is... Mike Dukakis! Hi! My name is... Fritz Mondale! Hi! My name is... Jimmy Carter! Hi! My name is... George McGovern! And you gotta wonder now if Howard Dean wouldn't have been the better choice? Kerry won the debates, but Dean would have exposed Bush for all his hypocrisies. Heeyahhhh!
gloating Bush supporter - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Now that the election is over and Kerry got his ass kicked harder than Saddam Hussein and the Taliban's, I'd just like to say..ha ha ha HA HAH HAH HAH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOO-O-O-O-OOOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spaff.com - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Michaelopedia. Impressive. Maybe if Kerry had brought it like this instead of being so darned polite he woulda won.

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