You burden me with your questions
Of where I was all day
You're always asking if I got the job
When my answer is no way
You say to me I don't sell myself
But when I do, I'm a fool
In interviews I'm a stammering clown
Who shakes his head and drools

The bills, you pay
Can't we just keep it that way?
The bills, you pay
I'm unemployable

You burden me with your budget
Saying get a job or starve
You say everybody has a job to do
I said that's right, go wash my car
Look, the world's so full of stress
The cubicle people are hostile
Can't you just leave me alone
So I can jerk off to Kim Possible

The checks, you write
Sure keep me warm at night
The checks, you write
I'm unemployable

Unemployed and shiftless
Don't mean that I am listless
Sometimes I like to vacuum the rug
And clean your dirty dishes
Just think of the time I fixed your bike
And cleaned out your garage
Baby, let me be your handyman
So I can turn our house into a mirage

So babe, please say
You'll work so I can stay home all day
So babe, let me stay
Unemployable